Friday, March 31, 2006

The Taxman Cometh...or something like that

My procrastination is more or less over. TS & I went to H&R Block this AM & spent 2+ hours going over all the paperwork for our taxes. Of course, I have a list of papers that somehow got missed, but 90% of it was there and of the parts that were missed, I know where most of them are, so no biggie. (I hope.)

Before I met DS I did my own taxes. (Go Turbo Tax.) But after we got married DS had these investments and his mother made this big stink about having a professional do it. (Mostly, because she’d made sure it gotten done for her boys all these years & still wasn’t really ready to give up control of that. And really, she wanted to know how far down the food chain her son was marrying.)

Remember all those stories about the outlaws I promised?
Do you see where this is going?
No, this post isn’t going to go down that road, right now. Well, maybe just a little bit.

She did a really good job of making me doubt my abilities in this arena. I know now that his investments are no more special then the investments I have/had, but I was young and naive. She also thinks her son had TONS of money/investments coming into this marriage. We were pretty equal in that area & trust me, neither of us is being courted by the country club, well maybe the country club in Bum Fuck Arkansas, but not here. So her perspective on it was somewhat skewed by not having all the details. But I wasn’t sharing all my previous finance information with her, cause it’s none of her damn business. Anywho, we got our own tax person; a cousin of mine who’s a CPA. Not exactly what she had in mind. What she really wanted was to have us send her all our financials and then she’d have her tax person do them.

She actually said this.

Out loud.

Ummm, I. Don’t. Think. So.

Ok, so that was like 6 years ago. My cousin was a cousin by marriage & they got divorced and she moved to So. Cal last year, so I didn’t think it made much sense to send our stuff down south. Might as well as send to his folks in Kansas, right? Oh, did I say that out loud?

Now I had to find a new tax person. Bah!

Honestly, I don’t think she (my CPA cousin) was doing so much more for us then we could’ve done for ourselves. DS and I discussed it and we’re going back to doing it ourselves next year. I decided this year it was probably a good idea with all the property/investment changes we had to have someone else at least looking at it, just to be safe. So I ended up calling H&R Block. We’ll see how it goes I guess. I can tell you one thing for sure; not as cheap as doing it yourself, or having a cousin who's a CPA.

On a side note; TS was the most excellent child on the face of this earth during this meeting this morning. She colored for about half an hour and then she played quietly with her baby doll. For TWO HOURS!!! (I know adults who couldn't entertain themselves in public that long! Private yes, but I'm trying not to attract any of that kind of spam.) I’m sure when I walked in to the place, loaded with files, 8 month pregnant & 2YO in tow they must’ve been rolling their eyes. But my child could not have been better behaved.

I am so proud of her!

I splurged & took her to “Micky D’s” for lunch (her choice and a BIG treat for this house). And because she wanted to, we drove to G’ma & Papa’s and ate it there.

She was super happy. And so am I.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Showers --not the weather for a change

I have some of the coolest friends ever. Have I told you that Internet? Cause I do.

My friend, H gave me a baby shower tea on Sunday. Being the one who usual organizes this kind of stuff for other people it was sort of weird to have it be done for me for a change. I’m sure I bothered the shit out of H all week calling her asking if I could do or bring anything.

Anyway it was very girly and we had lots of yummy food. One of the coolest parts (I think) was that H borrowed our kids table & set up a “tea” for TS & her buddy I who was there. She even went to the trouble of getting a plastic tea set for the girls & gave it to TS after.

I got lots of really cool baby gifts; blankets (those super soft ones—they didn’t have those 3 years ago when TS was being born), sleep sacks, cute girly clothes, some baby toys; a whoozit (TS never had one, poor deprived child), a foot piano, the diaper bag I mentioned in an earlier post, etc…you get the idea, general baby shower stuff.

This poor baby won't have anything. Riiiight.

TS got a couple gifts too; a diaper bag for her baby doll, a cool blender (pottery barn kids) and a Disney Princess camera & scrapbook, so she can crop with mommy.

I’m have to admit I'm a little overwhelmed with the generosity of our friends and amazed how lucky we are to have such a great supportive group behind us.

Sibling Rivarly

Ok, so before I head off to bed to not sleep. (Guess what my BOTD is?) Let me fill you in on the weekend (quickly now, before we get to the next weekend.)

Saturday, I took TS to a sibling class.
Sounds cool, huh?
We are such cool parents, preparing all little girl in all the right ways for the impending disruption to her perfect universe.

It was ok.

Apparently they break these into groups by age & I’d say we were on the old side for this group. I would guess that most of the kids were barely 2, and not exactly “focused” on what was happening.
The teacher handed out dolls (the size of newborn, anatomically correct—ours was a boy). She discussed how to hold the baby, how the baby’s going to move, about the baby’s head (being soft & not to touch it) and how “we don’t want to poke the baby in the eyes, nose or mouth”.

Thanks for suggesting that one, not sure my kid would’ve come up with it on her own.

She then passed out small book bags each containing a diaper, blanket and bottle.
TS thought she died & gone to heaven.
The kids diapered & “swaddled” their babies. TS actually paid attention to the swaddling instructions and made a decent effort at actually swaddling her baby. Better then some of the parents.
What can I say; my kid’s a bit OCD.
They played a video about getting a new sibling; TS & one other little boy actually watched the video the rest of the kids bounced off the walls.
Then they made cards for the babies that will soon be coming to their house. Stickers & crayons were provided.
TS had a meltdown over leaving card making and moving onto the hospital tour. So much fun. I picked her up and told her I wanted to see the hospital, so she had to go.
We viewed an empty labor & delivery room. I'm sure the toddler-set was thrilled.
TS then had a second meltdown over pushing the elevator button. More fun.
We did get to see a newborn leaving the hospital on our way out. Thank God, cause I’d promised we’d see some babies at the hospital.

All in all it was just ok.
We go back this Saturday for a hospital tour for us (they’ve remodeled since TS was born & we want to make sure we know where the fridge is, important stuff you know). Going a second time will actually be good, cause it’ll be her second visit and hopefully make the place more familiar.

TS diapering her baby. Gawd, she can be cute when she wants to be.

Ok, so I'm tired now. I'm off to bed to NOT sleep again. I'll write about the shower tomorrow when I can do it justice. Pix included, I promise!

Something Creative?

So the anniversary of our engagement is coming up this Saturday, April 1st. Yes, my husband proposed to me on April Fools Day. I’ll tell you the story on Saturday, seems like an appropriate time.
Since it’s likely that BS will be taking up most of our time & energy around our wedding anniversary in May (and since, TS’s birthday is two days before our anniversary), I was thinking we ought to go out to celebrate this anniversary and not worry about it in May. We actually tend to honor this one more then the wedding one. I’ve always felt that the day DS asked me to marry him, I said yes and he put the ring on my finger, was really the day we were married. Our wedding was just our way of sharing it with the rest of the world. But our engagement was about US.

Stop gagging, I really do feel that way.

I would like to go out for a nice dinner, somewhere swanky. If we were going to do this I would prefer that TS stay overnight somewhere, which means G’ma’s or SIL. Both of whom will be working to get ready for a family baby shower they’re giving me the next day. So that idea’s out. I guess we could do it the next weekend or something, but I’d really like to do something Saturday. How often does your anniversary actually fall on a weekend?

Yeah, I could make a nice dinner & we could watch a movie or something, but the thing is after 8:00 (when TS goes to bed) I’m pretty much shot. Pathetic, I know. I don’t think I can make it through a whole movie.

Plus we have to do the dishes if we do that. Which sucks.

I need something creative.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

The Circular File

I know, I owe you details about our immensely busy weekend. TS had her sibling class, I had a really cool baby shower and I have pictures to share from both events, but I suck, so you’ll have to wait one more day. Sorry. Here’s why:

I spent this evening filing. Yes, filing. Yuck. I haven’t filed since we moved. In November. I did (more or less) put all our tax related stuff in a “pile” together, but I had to go through several piles of filing to make sure I didn’t miss all the tax papers I needed. So, so much for that idea.

Bah. I hate this crap.

Last year we, sold a house, bought a house, refinanced a rental property (yes, we’re slum lords), sold a bunch of investments to help buy and remodel said house, etc….you get the idea: we have a lot of tax related documents.

I also got really into Flylady (don’t judge, if you can get past her syrupy sweetness, she’s a great resource,) a few years ago. As a result I go to Goodwill (or the library) with donations once a week.


Last year (2004) we donated like $3K to Goodwill.

No, I’m not kidding.

We did have that much CRAP in our house.

I’m not sure if this year will be quite so good on the deduction front. I’d say no, but with move we got rid of a lot more SHITE. So we’ll see.

Oh, and for your reading pleasure, my BOTD: I’m having major lower back pain. Ended up at the physical therapist for it, (Here comes the real bitchy part ;) my old therapist recently moved away so I saw a new one.

She su-cked!

By the time I got off the table I literally couldn’t move my right hip. I almost fell when I tried to walk. Well that was a great idea. I’m feeling better now, but if it’s bad/sore in the AM I’m going to call & request a different therapist.

Ok, off to bed. Night Internet.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Pretty, pretty…shinny

One of the things that happen this weekend was that my friends gave me a baby shower. I want to write more about it and will tonight. I may even post some photos, cause I’m just that kinda girl.

Anyway, my mom bought me the “totally-girly-self-absorbed” diaper bag I wanted. I was super surprised, cause I’m pretty sure I’m getting something else that was rather expensive from her at my family shower next weekend. Honestly, I didn’t expect her to give me anything this weekend, much less something like this. But I’m so glad she did!!!

We have a Land’s End Backpack Diaper Bag from when Toddlerspeak was born. It’s a great diaper bag. We love it & we still use it EVERYDAY. I highly recommend one if you're in the market. It's very practical.

But this go around I was hopping to get something for ME. I'm sure it's not practical, and not nearly as useful as our current one, but I really wanted it! AND it’s PINK!

So here’s something pretty & shinny to distract you from your day.

Think it would be weird if I just started using it as my purse before the baby’s born?

Still Pregnant

Actually, I’m feeling pretty good today & don’t currently have BOTD to post. But it’s early, give me time.
This is just the answer I give to everyone who sees me these days. I am no longer greeted by things like “Hi” or “How are you”. No, these days everyone looks at my stomach & says, “How are you feeling today?” (And some women bitch because men won’t make eye contact with them, they’ll only look at their breasts. How about having everyone look disbelievingly at your gut, honey? Quit your bitching.) I believe these are the precursors to “You haven’t had that thing yet?” And the ever popular, “Wow, you’re huge!”

Had a very busy weekend, with lots to report. But will have to provide this for you later today, as I have actual work to do today. Go figure.

Outlaws leave today & it was the most uneventful visit we’ve ever had with them. Very good for us, not so good for blog posting. Sorry to let you down Internet, after all those promises of great stories I’ve totally left you hanging. Not to worry, there are plenty to choose from, from past visits. Ok, I’ll write more later

Friday, March 24, 2006

A Day in the Life of Toddler Parenting

I was going to write and say that Gerah & Chag are so my life right now. And usually they are. Seriously, that’s part of why I love reading them so much, it’s like they post for me.

(So next time I skip a day, go read thier blogs, it's like reading mine. Only funnier.)

We all have daughters the same age, so I guess they make me feel better about all this toddler stuff. But today Toddlerspeak (TS) must’ve sensed that I was going to write about her. She’s been unusually cooperative. I’m sure she’ll be back to normal after her nap. But as I write she’s even actually napping!!!

We got up at 7. I slept poorly again.

Lots of circulation issues:
headache—bad enough to wake me up at least 2x
arms & legs falling asleep—not the side I’m laying on, shit one time I woke up cause it felt like my lips were falling asleep.

3AM is not really the time you want to take something caffeine laden to help with circulation so I just kept sitting up, shaking it out, not so much with lips though, drinking a lot of water & trying to sleep again.

Needless I wasn’t expecting much out of the day. It wasn’t starting out exactly stellar. But TS got up & got dressed, ate her breakfast, etc… and was super easy about all of it.

Who are you and what did you do with my child?

We had a ton of errands to run today and we were at Target by 9 AM!!! At Target, Babies R US and the Mall she was awesome. I have to admit I try to run these type of errands on the weekends and leave her with Daddyspeak (DS) so I don’t have to deal with her issues over things like riding in a cart, taking things off shelves, etc… but we have a ton of stuff going on this weekend so not really an option. At the mall I even got to try on clothes at the maternity store and splurged on a new top for myself.

I may have to go buy a lottery ticket.

Look picture of me in cute top! 8 months pregnant. Ignore messy room, it was the only room I could get the flash not to screw up the photo.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Written a few nights ago, but saved for a moment like now

I know why I do this: this not going to bed and staying on the computer all freaking night PLAYING STUPID SOLITAIRE!

It’s called avoidance. I know because I first started it years ago with my Fibro stuff. See what happens is I don’t sleep well. If that happens to you (a normal person) for a night or two it sucks. But you get over it, and back into a normal pattern. I, on the other hand, am a freak of nature. I will go for MONTHS without restful sleep*. Yes, months. It’s awful. For everyone involved. You think I’m bitchy now, try me after 8 months of not sleeping. The drugs I’m normally on for my Fribo have been very successful in helping me avoid this scene for quite some time. Everyone is happy.

I have to stop taking my drugs when I’m pregnant.

Don’t fret, I’m getting some REM sleep, my Fibro seems to more or less go into remission when I’m pregnant. BUT….

As is typical at this point in a pregnancy I’m not sleeping so hot cause I’m so damn uncomfortable. So my reaction is to do what I’ve always done in this situation:

avoid it.

Very mature I know.

I’m sure there’s a bunch of shrinks out there who could have a field day with this one. I’ve even been to some once and again, but right now I’m saving up my insurance paid shrink time for when the post partum psychosis sets in, Fibro predisposes me to it—fun! fun! (Daddyspeak likes to describe it this way: "You're the type who would eat her young." He smiles when he says it.)
No, I did not have it or even post partum depression after I had Toddlerspeak. Irronically, I didn't even get what they call "The Blues". But we’re prepared for the worst this time too Internet! Everyone around me knows I could flip out at any moment after the baby’s born.

Hopefully not.

So you’re my shrink for the time being dear Internet.

Lucky you!

*Restful Sleep—There are many types of sleep issues that can arise with Fibro. The sleep issues I have/had is fairly common (among those who have Fibro); I don’t get any REM sleep. So if you were to come into my bedroom in the middle of the night I would appear to be sleeping, however I’m typically only in the first stage of sleep, meaning no dreaming. Meaning NO REST. If you were to start talking to me I would be fully engaged with you in conversation as if I had been sitting up when you walked into the room. And I know when the neighbor's sprinkler went on, what time the cat got up to get water, etc....The other pitfall to this little scenario is that usually around 5 AM I will pass out from exhaustion. There’s almost no waking me when I hit this state. It is very much like being drugged. I can (and have) literally hit the snooze button for 2-3 hours, but never actually wake up. When I do finally wake up from that state I am exhausted.

Not Really What I Promised

Sorry Internet. I promised something light, fluffy, and possibly funny. I just don’t have it in me tonight. I just about fell asleep standing up tonight. Thursdays seem to be like that for me. They are my Fridays so maybe you can relate. Daddyspeak (DS) is my hero tonight, he didn’t bitch about having Mac & Cheese for dinner. He did the dishes, he gave Toddlerspeak a bath AND put her to bed tonight. All Hail DS!!!

I slept on the couch.

Then I got up and came upstairs to go to bed, (didn't want to wear myself out on that couch) instead I started doing what I do best: playing solitaire & hearts.


I am going to bed, but I wanted to check back in on Nora’s site and well you know how that goes….So here I am. Plus I did come up with my

BOTD: I’m tired of being hormonal. Sigh, even that is boring.

I’ve been having sort of hot flashes, nausea, feeling gassy, having headaches….

all. freaking. day.

I know, it’s hormones. Honestly, I do wonder if it isn’t low level contractions cause whenever you hear about a women’s labor story the almost always say they felt cruddy that day, and give you a description of symptoms I just gave you. Once again makes me feel like Babyspeak will be making an early appearance. But even that feeling is probably hormones. Bah.

So there you go. Sorry for being such a boring, whiney drag tonight. I’m off to bed as promised. Go read Miss Doxie, she finally posted again. As usual she is HI-LAR-I-OUS. Maybe she seems so funny cause I grew up with a dachshund as a pet, but every time she tells a dog story I do LOL.
Night Internet!

Slacker, but not emotionally

Didn’t post yesterday because I keep reading this, DO NOT CLICK it if you can’t deal with some really, really heavy shit. It’s sad & depressing. Boy is that the understatement of the year. My SIL has a link to this blog on her site & last week, in an effort to curb some boredom, I clicked over. It’s usually day-to-day stuff and she’s a great scrapbooker, so I like to peruse once in a while. Boy, was I surprised. It was right in the thick of things. The baby had just been taken from them just that day. OMG, I can NOT imagine how their family has been dealing with all it. It’s not good for me to keep reading it, I get way too emotional about it, but I’m trying to get the whole back story. So I go check in on it for a minute, read a post, start crying & then get the heck out of there. (I then head over to something I know will be light & funny; gofugyourself or threadbared are always good for that.) But I keep reading because I’m a mom & I know what it feels like to have a child you love so much it really does hurt.

And I have hope for them.

I’m not a hugely religious person (topic for later I’m sure) but I am a spiritual person, so I been sending them lots of good vibes & saying little prayers for their family. It looks like they are going to get the baby back, but wow I still can’t imagine what they’re going through & how awful just the waiting is.

Somehow my little pregnancy BOTD seemed inappropriate after all that. Thus no post.

I promise to post more later today—something light, hopefully funny, along those lines, but I thought you ought to know my mindset right now & why I neglected you yesterday.

Send lots of good vibes their way ok, Internet? They could really use them right now.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006


You may have noticed I got off my arce & updated my links. These are the reason the rest of my site isn’t more updated (like a pretty banner, or some photos, & some actual bio to my bio). But if you remember (meaning if you were one of the two people who were reading when I first started writing) part of my deal with myself was that I was going to focus on my content and assuming I stick with it then I’d do things like update the pretty factor later, so I wouldn’t burn out.
(Aren’t you impressed with my deep thoughts? Imagine how it would be if I wasn’t “focusing on my content”? Lucky you Internet.)
Well that’s my excuse for not doing anything else to the place yet. Cut me some slack Internet! I’m decorating a “brick & mortar” house too! And I have a toddler! And I’m 8 months pregnant! Jeez, when did it get to be 8 months already? Crap I have a lot to do. See I’m busy. Anywho, I pretty much read these sites every day.

It seems like every day I have some minor inconvenience I’m compelled to write about. These days it’s mostly about pregnancy “woes” (the kind of stuff that will understandably really piss off all the infertility blogs). But not really stuff that seems worthy of a whole post, so I decided that I’m going to start adding them to my posts (it’s my blog and I can vent however I want to, right?) Don’t hold me to the everyday thing either (I’m busy remember?) In my usual bi-polar fashion (where do you think Toddlerspeak gets it from?) you’ll most likely get them fairly regularly & then none for a day or two and then several all at once. So here you go:

BOTD – I’m not sure if this is a pregnancy bitch or a weather related bitch. It’s still cold here. We once again have snow on the hills. WTF? When you are this pregnant your shirts now stick out on the bottom so you get a major draft up them. My belly is COLD! I think I’d be fine with my belly (and therefore shirts) sticking out if it wasn’t so damn cold!!!!! I think that bitch was weather related.

Monday, March 20, 2006


So the visit with the outlaws is actually going pretty well. I think my perception of these things may be skewed after the last time.

Last time they came while we were in the middle of moving houses, a remodel, Thanksgiving, and oh I was 5 months pregnant. It was incredibly stressful to say the least. You think? It was made more stressful by the fact that we had said first, “Please don’t come right now (come at Christmas or something), it’s a really bad time for us.” They insisted and basically said they didn’t care. So then we said, “If you insist on coming you need to stay somewhere other then with us because we don’t have a working kitchen (among other things).”

Note: they own a house 30 minutes away from us, have many, many friends nearby, have another son who lives an hour away and could afford a hotel if they wanted to, so this request isn’t totally unrealistic. They told us they’d made arrangements to stay with a couple different friends.

Then, two days before they were to arrive his mother called crying because, “I don’t like her and they don’t really have a place to stay,” etc…. So in lieu of a divorce (ours, because at this point Daddyspeak (DS) had had it with all us, but I was the one he could focus on, therefore I was being the bitch.) they stayed with us, but it was no fun for anyone. Maybe for Toddlerspeak, (TS) but I think she probably picked up on the fact that no one was all that happy, so probably not even for her.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s no party. I’m not signing up for them to move in after this visit or something. But it does seem like people are trying to be more considerate of peoples’ schedules and to communicate their intentions and such, which is a nice change.

We are also having some success in keeping them busy which has been part of our problem in the past. We’ve tried to do this in the past but seem to be having more success this time around. If not, they get bored and get into our stuff. (Literally.) Not a lot of “boundaries” or “privacy” with MIL. (That’s laughable it’s such an understatement.) One of my major frustrations when they come to visit is that DS and I can’t have a conversation without her popping into it going, “What? What? What did you say?” This goes on over Nothing; we can be discussing that “next time you head upstairs can you remember to put more TP in the guest bathroom?” And she’s constantly jumping in (she’s afraid she’s going to miss something). It’s not a big deal initially but after two weeks of it you start to feel like Big Brother is following you around. And forget trying to discuss anything of consequence, like disciplining our child or something. During their last visit we were dealing with moving & remodel details, so we needed to have a lot of conversations about important stuff. It was very frustrating.
Needless, DS & I do a lot of conversing via email when they come to visit.

So, so far Internet the usual drama hasn’t really started up. Not as much blog fodder as I might have hoped, but honestly, I’m glad for it.

Internet, I owe you more detail from Thursday’s doctor appointment. (Getting on the computer at home has been sketchy to say the least.) The Ultrasound found that BS is measuring exactly to her due date. She weighs 4# 3oz. and is like 16-something inches long. She’s already in position to be born, (I could’ve told you that, I told everyone when she was turning cause that’s when the Cirque Du Soeil really started in my belly.) She could turn again, but this is exactly what TS did and the timeframe when she did it, so I think my babies may just be well prepared girls. I have a perfect amount of amniotic fluid (my big worry). And I’m back on appointments every 2 weeks. Yeah!No more contractions, which is the other thing to be concerned about. So hopefully, she’s just reminding us that she’s running the show.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

It’s all Good

Everything is cool w/Babyspeak. She’s measuring to the day and has plenty of amniotic fluid. I’ll write more about it tomorrow.

Stressing Out

So I’m having the ultrasound this afternoon. I’m sure it’s all fine, but I did something really stupid the other day and I’m sort of worked up over it. I tried to see if Dr. Google could tell me anything about “measuring smaller from one week to the next”. It was a mistake because the information I got was all related to “measuring small” (or in some cases measuring large). My doctor didn’t say I was measuring small, she just said, “You measured smaller then last time,” (frown) (I hate the frown, don’t you? Why do they have to frown like that?). All the information I found was related to the bad things that measuring small could mean.

I know from my last pregnancy not to look up things like that. All the information is going to be the bad/negative cause the “general pregnancy symptom” doesn’t really give them too much to talk about. It’s much more exciting to cover all the damn birth defects your kid could have (even if the chances of it being that are like one in gazillion). In most cases “measuring small” would mean that they’d push out my due date and that is not a big deal. But here’s the thing about that: I KNOW when we conceived this child, pretty much down to the freaking hour. So my due date is dead on. So if the doctor wants to move my date I’m intending to be pretty insistent about any other things we might want to consider since my due date is DEAD ON.

BACKGROUND ON GETTING PREGNANT: We “charted” for 9 months prior to deciding to actually try and get pregnant (for some reason I thought we might have trouble getting pregnant this time, age I guess, so) I wanted to have as much information as possible. My charts (and my temperature fluctuations) could be used for a freaking text book. I am one of these rare women whose temperature moves a whole degree when things change. I know it’s unusual to have it be so definitive, but it was really useful when we needed it. The week we conceived we were being visited by the outlaws (stressful under to very best of circumstances,) and were bidding on our house, so I had a HUGE amount of stress going on. I charted as usual, but I also used an ovulation predictor. My chart told me the same thing it always does, I was “good to go”, but the ovulation predictor told me “nope, nothing happening yet”.

Hmm…wonder if my charts aren’t correct.

We went ahead with the plan (yes, we had sex! TMI I know, but MIM gives you details, I just said we had sex, so you probably ought thank me or something,) even though it said nothing would happen. I figured I probably was ovulating late, which had never happened before, but stress can do that do you, and Lord knows, we had stress right then.

Then my temp shifted up. Well it can do that for two reasons 1) your pregnant or 2) you’re ovulating.

Guess which it was.

Needless, I don’t put a lot of stock in those ovulation predictors (the ones you pee on, I did not invest in the spit kind which are supposed to be better).

So yup, all you women who have tired forever to get knocked up, we got knocked up at age 36 on the first try. I know, I know, we’re lucky & you hate my guts. Trust me, keep reading and you’ll realize my fertility is really the only aspect of my health that seems to be in order. Daddyspeak likes to say you put a Spic & Mic together (I’m Hispanic & he’s Irish) and you don’t TRY to get pregnant you just do. (That should offend the hell out of a bunch of you.) But I digress….

Ok, now that I’ve brought that little ray of sunshine to your day I’ll let you go back to work. I’ll post later and let you know what happens. But it might be MUCH later since the outlaws are arriving at our house today and all bets are off on schedules & free time.

Just think, we’re going to get past this little ultrasound/measuring crisis & jump right into continuing "epic of the outlaws" crisis. Wahoo!

Lucky you Internet, you’re in for a fun week!

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Art…in the eye of the beholder

On a more upbeat note (from yesterday)….when I went to pick up Toddlerspeak (TS) from my parents’ house yesterday she was just getting up from her “nap”. (It was one of those naps that included no sleep.) Apparently, she had pooped in her pull-up (she’s potty trained, but still wears pull-ups for naps & night time) and decided to undo one side of it and “play” with the contents. (Insert witty poop joke here.) All over clothes, bed, bedding, etc.... Grandma was less then thrilled. It must be a genetic trait or something I did this (I think I was younger then her, and according to legend I “decorated the walls, including window blinds) and her cousin did this too.

We’re such a creative family.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

On My Mind….

The Outlaws are Coming….
Spent last evening trying to get the dumping ground guest room ready for their arrival. In order to do this I had to do some picking up in the study & baby’s rooms. Several items from the study got moved into baby’s room & have never been moved. And several baby room items got moved into the guest room to accommodate me for painting (which I finished!!! I have even taken pictures, & I’m hoping to upload them either tonight or tomorrow.) So I spent last evening moving furniture around, throwing things out; general stash & dash stuff. Have a few more things to move out of the guest room tonight, but that’s all I’m committing to before their arrival. The study is in a “state”, but MIL won’t sit still when she’s here, so I end up not sitting still (trying to keep her out of our things. I’m not kidding.). I figure I’ll get the whole thing cleaned up & unpacked because of it. Trying to pace myself on the whole deal.

Belly Dance
No (regular) contractions since Thursday (knock on wood). And Babyspeak (BS) has been super active (I don’t think she stopped moving for 24 hours on Thursday, so that’s good. BUT, (there’s always a but isn’t there,) apparently my doctor’s measurement of me last week is bothering me more then I realized. It wasn’t bugging me this weekend, but I find myself nervously thinking about it now that I’m getting closer to the ultrasound. I have a little bird (my mother) who likes to point out the risks of pregnancy because of my age, so I think that's why I have the jitters. BS is very active still, so I’m sure it’s all fine. But I guess I will feel better after Thursday.

Work Related
I think I’ve stated before that I’m not really going to talk about work on this blog. Don’t really care, talking about it could be career limiting (ask dooce about that), etc…But what I will say right now is
  1. I could not be less motivated about something if I tried (I guess it’s a sign of pregnancy) and
  2. We’re having a big “shake up” and my job is up in the air. (Nothing to do with me personally, the “organization” is being “reorganized.”)

The individuals who might be able to get some clarification about my position (like if it’s going to continue to exist,) are trying to generally lay low (concern for their own positions) so I’m left hanging. If nothing official happens before I go on maternity leave then they have to hold a position for me. Not necessarily the same position, but something. But I could totally see them laying me off just before. Fun, fun! I’ve been concerned about the fact that I won’t get paid for maternity leave at all (I have to take it under the FMLA which guarantees my job for up to 12 weeks, but we don’t put into SDI, so we don’t get paid for either SDI or FMLA which is typically what maternity leave falls under. It sucks.) I guess the up side to that would be that I’d be able to collect unemployment. (It’s not really an upside, trust me.)

Ironically, (or not I guess,) when DS & I got married I got laid off from my job (actually the company I worked for pulled an “Enron, " it was actually about a year before Enron happened, but when it did it made explaining what my company did a lot easier.) Anyway, my company imploded (it was the beginning of the ‘dot bomb’) and I was suddenly out of work 2 weeks before we were about to be married. (Just bought a house, had 3 weeks of vacation that I never got paid out & that I was taking as my honeymoon, etc...) Then a few years later, the month before Toddlerspeak was born, DS was laid off from work. (While really stressful, it was also good to have him around full time when she was born. That’s in hindsight, of course.) My point is that I'm understandably a little nervous about this birth in that respect. It seems like every time we make a “life change” we lose a job. (Just to keep us on our toes.) In the past, I’ve had more then needed socked away (my version of nesting) but this time since we just moved & remodeled we haven’t really recovered the way I think we should have. I mean we wouldn’t be in trouble exactly, let’s just say it makes me really nervous.

You know this is exactly the kind of stress you (I) need when you’re pregnant.

Cause I don’t have enough stress just from being pregnant.

I wish I had something witty to end with, but I think the stuff w/BS is getting me down. Say a little pray for her (and me) Internet.

Monday, March 13, 2006

March Madness

Oh yes, it’s March. You wouldn’t know if from the freaking weather we’ve been having! (There is snow on our hills! Yes SNOW in Silicon Valley in FREAKING MARCH!! WTF?) I keep looking at all my cute summery maternity clothes and think, “I’m not going to get to be wearing any of those this time.”

Does anyone have Mother Nature’s email address, cause I think she’s confused? We need to rectify this soon!

The way you know it’s March in our house is because “The Tournament” was this weekend.

Sunday was bracket day. (Yes, they really call it that.)

Daddyspeak (DS) went to KU (that’s Kansas University, NOT Kentucky as some “dumbass on ESPN” kept saying this weekend. DS’s quote, not mine, but I got to hear what a dumbass he was for the rest of the weekend. Thanks Dumbass.)

I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area, college sports not such a big deal here. I mean if you’re in college maybe. Or if you went to Cal or Stanford you might semi pay attention, but otherwise, the majority of the population, not so much.

DS grew up in Kansas. And KU is always a “contender”. (At least, that’s what I’m told.) So March Madness is a BIG DEAL around our house now. Our friends are always shocked (and I don’t think they really believe me) when they hear about how our house pretty much shuts down on the weekends during this time. Honestly, the only reason the phone might get answered is because we own a TiVO.

One good thing; if the game is early in the day & KU wins DS is in such a good mood I get all kinds of projects done around the house. (Which is what happened this weekend. They BEAT TEXAS!!!! OMG!) If they lose, not so much. So I guess, for many reasons, there is much rejoicing over a KU win in our house.)

TS already knows: Rock-Chalk-Jayhawk

So it’s true; unless KU gets eliminated I’m a basketball widow. Why do you think we’re having a May baby? (I actually want DS to be present for the birth.)


Friday, March 10, 2006

Just "taking it easy"

Not much new to report. Doctor said everything is pretty much status quo, “which is good.” After talking some more about how these are so long & regular (to which she said, “Yeah, that is concerning.” Thanks.) She said something like, “Well, that may just be how your body is and your in tune to it. We don’t want to disregard it, but if it continues like it has then the best course of action is to go by how you feel. Even if the contractions & timing all seem the same, but something doesn’t feel right then you call us. You know your body best & if you tell us something doesn’t feel right to you then we want to check it out.”

I have a great doctor.


On another note, I got to take Toddlerspeak (TS) to Pump It Up today. If our little excursion to this place didn’t put me into early labor, I can’t really think of much else that could. TS will own the place next time, but the first time anywhere she tends to be shy and wants you to hold her hand through all of it. This was her first time. The worst (or best, depending on your perspective) was this inflated slide, like they have at the fairs & stuff. I made the mistake of carrying her up (at her whiny insistence) the first time. The “climb” is more like a rope ladder; you’re holding onto straps on the sides to keep you balance, and there are “rungs” in the air mattress thing, but you move around cause all the other people on it are bouncing you. And it’s STEEP. No I mean STEEP!!! I realized just going up it by myself was not “taking it easy,” so figured we’d leave that one for another time. But then we ran into some mom’s from our playgroup and one of them kept taking her up there (TS would run over and ask her and she’d go “Sure!” Grab her up and head on up.) I was embarrassed (the kid weighs 32#!) so I did it 2 more times cause I felt bad. She also wanted me in the big “jump house” with her for a while. That was ok. Just bouncy. She got run over by some of the big kids a couple times, but mostly held her own. By the time we were leaving she was imitating all the stuff the “big kids” were doing.

She'll OWN the place next time.

Updates on things non-baby related

Here’s something novel; our life beside the drama du jour. (Although we made it through Thursday without any regular contractions, knock on wood.) Seeing the doctor for a follow up tomorrow at 8:45, so I’ll let you know what comes of that.

The Outlaws are Coming

They arrive on the 15th.

All the excitement the last few days has spared you my bitching and moaning about this impending visit. Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll manage to more then make up for it. They’re coming for 10 days.


When I start to write about their visit (or things related as this will probably get into full swing before they actually show up) you’ll probably initially think I’m a card-carrying bitch. And while that may be true, over time, you’ll realize I’m not out to lunch on this one. I have waaaay too many stories of how I’ve been the doormat time and again to my outlaws. I don’t think they outright dislike me (but they might and honestly, at this point I really don’t care) but many things have been said/done over time about their expectation that my marriage to Daddyspeak (DS) will inevitably end. This pisses me off to no end! It actually has nothing to do with our marriage. These comments/actions were being made well before we ever even got married. I think it’s a case of no one is good enough for our son/family. (Which is soooo ironic, at least the family part) The other reason they drive me absolutely nuts is that they’re extremely inconsiderate (I’m pretty sure I’m using too mild a term here) of our time/privacy/space.

It’ll all come out over the next few weeks, so stay tuned. If you thought we had drama this week well it’s ratings week starting the 15th!

The Dog Crisis is Back On

I guess it’s not a crisis; it’s just a matter of when & how exactly. Mowry has gotten out twice in the last two weeks. (Happened again today.) DS is pretty much done with the whole deal. I’ve contacted some more rescue groups about him without luck. I’m learning their lingo & basically these “rescue” groups only “rescue” from shelters. They sort of cherry pick the best of them (that haven’t managed to get adopted) and then go rescue them. But they generally don’t seem to except surrenders from the public. That would be us--public.

My mom has actually been helpful on this one (cause she thinks the effort, money & time we’ve put into this dog is unbelievable and takes every chance to give me a hard time about it.) She’s got a couple friends who have “ins” at a couple of these groups; she’s making some phone calls to see if they can get him into one of these groups that way. I believe she's helping because:

1) she's jumping at the chance that we're actually getting rid of him (her words, not mine) and

2) if she helps it might actually happen & happen soon. She really wants him to go before Babyspeak shows up. Her issue, (and she has lots,) not mine.

I'll take the help on this on and only bitch to you Internet, (since she doesn't have my blog address,) cause there's a chance it'll help find Mowry a good situation and that's really all that matters.

If he ends up at a shelter (a.k.a.—in a kennel/cage) his behavior deteriorates dramatically & he’ll be deemed unadoptable & will be put down. But if we continue to keep him (and he continues to get out) it’s a matter of time before he’ll get hit by car. Neither is a good option.

I’ll keep you posted on where he ends up. Like I said, it’s just a matter of when & where, from what I’m hearing from DS the when is happening in the next week or so.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Opps, I did it again!

Yes, more drama yesterday. Contractions started at 3:00 and were every 3 minutes (like clockwork), 45 seconds long. (I think part of what is so unnerving about them is that they’re so perfect like that.) So after 5 of them I called the doctor. My doctor is out on Wednesdays so the on call Nurse told me,

“Since the FFN came back negative it’s very unlikely you’re actually in labor.”

“Yeah, I figured that, so am I supposed to keep calling you guys when this happens or what?”

“Well, if you have more then 10 in an hour you should go to the hospital. Unless you don’t feel comfortable with that and want to go to the hospital now.”

(I don’t want to go to the hospital at all, where’s that option? I just want you guys to tell me that I don’t need to call you when this starts, unless it does XXX”)


I know these episodes are lasting hours at a time, cause it’s generally been a while (I’m thinking more then 2 hours) when I’m commenting on them. So her "advice" wasn’t helping me much.

I drove to my parent’s house to get Toddlerspeak (TS) and by that time it had been well over an hour and they were still going strong. So what do to: the hospital is on the other side of town by our house, but TS wouldn’t be going with us. Do I leave her at G’ma’s? Do I sit around some more? Bah, again! Now I’m getting mad. I mean I’m pretty sure nothing is going to happen, but no one really knows and the “error on side of caution” thing means the information I’m getting is making me stressed out.

Screw it.

I took TS home & told Daddyspeak (DS), “I’m not going to the hospital unless they start to do something really dramatic, like hurt, but I’m not doing anything else either, except laying on the couch since I’m pretty sure that’s what they’d tell me to do anyway.” Sure enough after 3 ½ hours they finally stopped.

I could be a freaking M.D. (who needs medical school?)

I have a follow up on Friday AM, so I guess I’ll talk to my doctor about MY guidelines regarding this at that time. Unless, of course, they happen again today. (What do you want to bet?)

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Who's the Drama Queen?

Like the way I left you high & dry like that?

“Oh I’m having contractions, I might call my doctor. I’ll let you know.”

Well I did call my doctor, but by that time it was lunch time, so by the time I got a call back it had been 2 ½ hours of contractions. At least by that point I was over feeling ridiculous and was onto feeling nervous and tired.

(Think about it, my abdominal muscles were contracting every 3-5 minutes, for 30 seconds minimum, actually most of the contractions were 1 ½ to 3 minutes long. Now that’s a workout! In the end, it lasted about 4 hours.)

When the Nurse Practitioner called me back she immediately said, “Umm yeah, you need to come in right now.”

Are you starting to notice a theme to my conversations with them?

I call & leave message about what a dork I am cause “I know it’s hormones, but the literature says to call if this happens, so I’m calling.”

They call back & basically say, “Um, you’re a dork for thinking that, please get your arce in here NOW!”

So I go in, pee in a cup, doctor does an exam, runs a swab to determine my likelihood for pre-term labor (Fetal Fibronectin, FFN) and then sends me to pee in another cup (check for urinary tract infection, which apparently can cause pre-term labor as well. Who knew?) Such FUN! I am given strict orders to go LAY DOWN for the rest of the day (no cooking dinner, no playing with Toddlerspeak (TS), no housework, no nothing! Ok, I think I can do that.). Also, drink lots of water (“to the point of feeling like you’re going to float away, and then keep drinking.”). Apparently dehydration can be the cause of this as well. (I drink a ton of water normally, so I’d be surprised if that were issue. But doctors orders!)

So I called the G’parents, where TS was yesterday, and before I even got into the whole coordinating Daddyspeak (DS) to pick her up, they suggest she just spend the night. Well, that would make things easier, wouldn’t it? So that’s pretty much the extent of it. Spent my afternoon/evening catching up on TiVO shows & napping. Computer is upstairs, so I wasn’t online because I wasn’t supposed to be going up and down the stairs. But if this continues we may have to purchase a new laptop & wireless router so I can blog on the couch.

Thing is, I know this has been going on for a while now. (That uncomfortable in my own skin feeling I keep mentioning—this is what that is: contractions.) So I asked the doctor if I’m supposed to call the next time it does this (cause I know it will and it’s just a matter of time). “Next time they’ll send me directly to the hospital and hook me up to monitors.” How exciting! Can’t wait for that installment of this drama.

We like to joke that TS is a Drama Queen, as I was scheduled to be induced with her and my water broke 4 hours before hand. (No one was going to tell her when she was going to be born, she was doing it on her terms at her time, damit!) But I’m starting to think (not for the first time) that Babyspeak is going to give TS a run for her money.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Umm… Duh!

So apparently, I have no clue when it comes to this whole pregnancy/labor thing. I got on my doctor’s website this AM to look up information about BH contractions & in the “When to Call the Doctor” section it says this:

When to call the office:
Pre-term labor: Pre-term labor occurs at less than 36 weeks. Many patients have occasional irregular contractions, also known as Braxton-Hicks that may be painful. If you have more than 5 contractions in an hour, stop all activities, drink extra fluids and stay in bed. If you continue to have more than 5 contractions in an hour, call your obstetrician.

Umm, ok.
I feel a bit stupid now.
Obviously everything is fine. But I know it’s been doing this & I'm just now reading about it. So much for the second time mom, huh?

I’m having them again right now. Guess I’ll call if they last an hour, it’s been happening for over half an hour minutes so far. I feel like such a dork.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Braxton Meet Hicks

Remember when I mentioned I felt uncomfortable in my own skin? Well the way I’d describe it is this sense of pressure—like the baby is trying to push her way out through the front of my stomach. Very pleasant, let me assure you.

It occurred to me today that this reminded me a lot of an uncomfortable crampy feeling, like when you’re having contractions.. DUH! I started to really pay attention today (mostly cause it seems to be bothering me a lot) and noted that when I really felt like this, my stomach was getting all HARD! Often, the baby would start moving around, but not usually on the side where my stomach was all hard. Weird. So tonight I dug out a watch & started to see if there was a rhythm, and there was. How come I’m so freaking retarded sometimes???? You know, I've done this once before. Turns out I was having contractions 3-4 minutes apart (I wasn’t being a stickler about the timing, I was busy watching The Cobert Report at the time, priorities after all--I LOVE TiVO) and they we’re lasting between 35-60 seconds!!!! This went on for a good 2 hours (at least). Jeez Louise!

So what’s this mean? Nothing really, it’s too early for the baby to come. (I’m only 31 weeks.) My body’s just getting ready & apparently I'm in tune to it (sort of). I did something similar with Toddlerspeak (TS), but just once (this has been going on for a while now). I had an afternoon during my 7th month of pregnancy where I had contractions that were 30 seconds long, 3 minutes apart. They didn’t hurt, and we’d read that if they last an hour to go for a walk; Braxton-Hicks will stop with exercise, if not, call you doc. Mine stopped at 45 minutes that time.

But it’s just a HUGE wake up call—helllloooo, you’re going to have a baby pretty soon, do you think you could put the crib up & maybe finish paint the damn room before she shows up? Oh, and nailing down a name might be a good call too. Details, details…

Saturday, March 04, 2006

The Wiggles are coming!!!

We watch A LOT of The Wiggles around out place. (I know all the songs & dance moves. But hey, I'm groovy like that.)

As a baby, Toddlerspeak (TS) was like the only munchkin who wouldn't be appeased by hanging out in front of Baby Einstein (AKA – Crack for Babies, that should get some interesting hits off the internet, don’t you think?) so when she got old enough & discovered The Wiggles I was actually thrilled.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a huge proponent of sticking you toddler (or kid for that matter) in front of the TV as a babysitter, (I’m more of a proponent of “everything in moderation”.) But if something gives me 10 minutes to do breakfast dishes I’m not sure it’s totally a bad thing.

We really discovered the magic that is The Wiggles when we were getting ready to move last October. They gave us the ability to get some boxes packed and I can’t thank them enough. I don’t feel too bad about her watching them because (like Sesame Street) they teach the kids a lot of important things and the way TS watches them is more like a dance party. She knows all the moves to all their dances. Considering the coordination skills she’s getting from her gene pool, The Wiggles have already given her a leg up in life.

I bought tickets for the concert this AM and told her we’re going to go see them in a couple months. She talked about them for like an hour and a half (like a true groupie). Then she informed me she wants HI-5 (Yes, we have the CD & know all the dance moves to this one too. Zoot would be so proud,) to come visit too.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Can you see the steam pouring out of my ears?

This one makes me so mad! I swear there’s steam pouring out of my ears. Yesterday I came home to Daddyspeak (DS) on the phone; something about Mowry. Couldn’t for the life of me figure out what it would be, I even thought maybe some of my footwork from last time had paid off. (Yeah, right.) Turns out Mowry got out of the yard. We aren’t positive how, but we think he might have squeezed through a small opening where DS has fixed part of the fence, but not all yet. Anyway, one of the neighbors found him & called. She had the nerve to tell DS that the dog looked “awfully thin,” so she fed him cheese & crackers. She also was “appalled” at the bark collar & choke chain on him so she and “a trainer friend” agreed it was too tight and CUT IT OFF! (I believe she should be buying us a new collar for the bark collar.)

First of all: Mowry & Merit are on doggie insurance that we pay for every month. Both dogs went for their bi-annual check up in January. Both dogs weigh 50 lbs.; perfect for Mowry, Merit could use a diet (we keep getting told). He is NOT underweight. (DS actually informed her of this. Part of me feel like I would’ve too, but part of me wants to say why waste the energy explaining it to her cause it’s really none of her business. And for the record “people food” is generally really bad for your dog. So if you know so much about what our dog should weigh shouldn’t also know not to be giving him people food?)

Secondly, WHERE THE HELL does she get off? She doesn’t know us. We have a dog with SEVERE separation anxiety & alpha issues. The behavior things you do to treat one side of these will exaggerate the other. We’ve been through training with him, met w/behaviorists, etc…we’re working on it. It’s better then it’s been, but it’s never going to get great. The dog has issues! We were cited by the city for his barking (separation anxiety) at our other house and after going the gamut of devices have found this is the only thing that seems to work for him. Our next options were either debarking or putting him down. (I can guess what she thinks of those.) We have also found during this process that the electric bark collar actually keeps his overall anxiety level down, so it’s actually a GOOD thing for him. But Miss Judge-y over there wouldn’t know anything about it cause she’s busy on her tower being high-and-mighty. She had the nerve to tell DS that “she would’ve kept him herself, but her yard is too small.” She also suggested taking him to the pound and DS informed her how their “no kill policy*” really works.

OHMYFUCKINGGOD!!!! HOW DARE SHE! We are over her putting our literal blood, sweat, stress & tears into this animal and she has the NERVE to make a trite comment like that. PUT UP OR SHUT UP BE-YOCH!

All I know is that it’s good he went to get the dog and not me, cause I might have literally gone to blows with her. As it is, I just found out she still has our choke chain. I’m going to call her when I calm down a bit (so I don’t start out screaming at her bitch-ass in the very beginning. Better to wait till I get the actual collar in hand & then let her have it.)

“Listen bitch, like it or not, we are his owners. We love him, we feed him, and we actually take REALLY good care of him (which is fucking hard to do a lot of the time,). I am SEVEN AND A HALF MONTHS PREGNANT and I need my both my dogs to be on a choke chains when I have them on lead OR THEY COULD KNOCK MY PREGNANT ASS OVER!!! So kiss my large happy ass bitch, or pony up and adopt the dog. But don’t you DARE tell me how to take care of him. I have yet to find ANYONE who would put up his shit the way we have. And I’m looking.

*Silicon Valley Humane Society’s no kill policy means that they won’t kill any “adoptable” animal. If they deem a pet to be “unadoptable” then they won’t put it up to the public and will have the animal euthanized. The evaluation for this is done at their discretion in a kennel with a bunch of other barking dogs. (And I think the number of dogs they have at that time is taken into consideration.) Mowry was deemed unadoptable by them when my brother’s family took him there. He’s a special needs dog, but he could make someone a good pet. He is not an animal who deserves to be put down for these reasons.