The Incredible Shrinking Woman

Of course, now that I'm mentioning it, I'll probably going to jinx it and gain all of it back. I actually do not know how much weight I've actually lost, I don't own a scale, I'd rather depend on how my clothes fit (It's not what I weigh, it's what I look like I weigh, right?). Since I've quit my job I've gone down 3 dress sizes. Yes, Three.



Here's the kicker, I don't know why. Am I dieting, not really. I've been sort of low-carb, but honestly I haven't been that great about it. I haven't been horrible either.



I haven't been "working out". Shoot, with my back being so bad lately I haven't walked much lately, much less worked out.



I'll tell you what is different:



1. I've been nauseated since the month of June. In fact, I was nauseated for pretty much the entire month of June. I lost a chunk of weight in that month, about 8 lbs (my mom has a scale). But, now in September, it's clear that I've continued to lose. I stopped being nauseated 24/7 after about a month, but I still feel queasy at least a couple times a day. I can say my eating has been cut down because of this. It's not uncommon for me to only get one meal or a granola bar in a day. (It's all I can stomach.)



2. I'm chasing a 2YO all day every day. At work I got to sit & play on the web for hours, and now, not so much. I don't even get to sit to check my email, so I think this is the real reason.



I have a theory that my nausea is being cause by low Blood Pressure (BP), so I have an appointment w/my doctor at the end of the month. If I'm right, this could also be part of reason too. I don't recommend this method of losing weight.

Still Resolute

I've been meaning to write a post about my resolutions for a while now. I've been working on them (most of them) all year, but just hadn't gotten around to an update. So tonight I pulled my old post to see how long it's been. I almost fell off the couch laughing. It's a good thing keep up my posting on my resolutions wasn't part of them, cause I've failed miserably on that part. I updated them ONCE! Ummm, yeah. Well, even though I haven't been mentioning it, I have been working on them. So, even though you probably don't care, da da da dummmmm, here's the current update on them:

1) Get our finances in order
Well I obviously did a lot more then indicated in those last posts. Because of my efforts on this topic I was able to QUIT MY JOB in April. OMG, I’m still pinching myself over it. The outcome of this was to find out that we are on track for retirement and the girls college (assuming they aren’t asking for a full ride to Stanford). I do have some follow up items to help consolidate where all of our accounts are located.
Goal for week: Get consolidation paperwork (which has been sitting on my counter for months) out the door.
This is an ongoing goal, so for all intensive purposes I consider this goal ACHIEVED for this year.
b. Set up plan to get legal stuff (ie—living trust, define who the kids would go to, etc…)updated.
Ummm yeah. Not so much done on this one.
Goal this week: Make that phone call!

2) Get the house completely unpacked.
a. Spare bedroom & den still have boxes that haven’t been unpacked. (Gee do you think we still need this stuff?)
Umm..yeah. This one is lagging as well. Big surprise. DaddySpeak has moved things around a bit. And I’ve pulled together a few boxes for recycling, but honestly nothing to write home about. I did get a dent made in the spare bedroom, but that was after it got much worse for a while due to an influx of hand-me-downs.
Goal this week: spend 10 mins in spare bedroom every day (cleaning out/purging). Dude, I’d be happy if I got ONE day in this week.

3) Get all the rooms decorated; still have pix to be hung, etc…
No where near where I’d like to be on this one, but progress has been made. I had a photoshoot of the girls in July & then purchased a ridiculous amount of prints, but hey, it’s “art” right? The result is that some of the rooms in our house are looking pretty good. It’s moving along.
Goal for week: Hang at least one print/pix.

4) Follow the Flylady system again (the other stuff will fall into place if I stick with it)
Afraid this one is still where it was at the beginning of the year. I’m not sure why but for some reason I just can’t seem to get off my arce & just do it. I know it works, I just need to do it. I have been taking small steps, (baby steps!!!) so it’s not a lost cause, but if I would hunker down & do it, life would get a lot simpler.
Goal for this week: I will both update my calendar & write out/time my evening routine.

5) Define house projects we’d like to do, prioritize them, budget them out & move on them (if I do #1 and #4 this will actually start to happen.)
I did do the spreadsheet on this one. And some of them have actually happened. But new things get added & reprioritize things, so it’s hard to remember how far we’ve come.
Goal for week: reassess spreadsheet & tackle a new project.

6) Walk for 30 mins at least 3x a week.
I’m hoping to get going on this again. My back is tentatively better right now (knock on wood) so tomorrow I’m going to try adding the 30 min walk after we drop BigSpeak off at school. OF NOTE: A large part of my reason for wanting to do this was to try and drop some inches/pounds. In the last 3 months I’ve gone down 3 (yes, THREE) dress sizes. I kid you not. I don’t know how much I’ve lost cause I don’t own a scale, but I do know that I really, really need to go shopping for some clothes cause all of my shorts and pants are HUGE on me. I'm going to write about how this happened later this week.
Goal for week: walk for 30 mins at least 1x this week.

7) Get hair free (except my head) by EOY.
This is almost complete. I took the bull by the horns and got this done. All I can say is, “why didn’t I do this sooner!!!” For the first time in years I’m considering wearing a regular bathing suit (instead of board shorts) because my bikini line isn’t full of in-grown hairs. I know TMI, sorry. The shaving I do have to do is only about every 2 weeks now. Yeah I know. AWESOME! I was very, very expensive, but worth every damn penny. If you're even thinking about doing this, by all means find a way!
Goal for week: schedule next appointment.
I consider this goal ACHIEVED.

So two of my 7 have been achieved. Not so bad for a girl who updated once, huh? I'm motivated to get a few more check marks in the done column now.

Have your resolutions fallen by the wayside? What have you completed?

5’s A Charm--And Your Science Lesson For The Week

At least I’m hoping that will be the case. I had my 5th epidural shot today.

The experience was a lot more pleasant than my last one. Pleasant is a relative word here. In fact, this was very much like the first-third shots I had in the past. I was really pleased with the way those went so I’m very, very hopeful that will be the case this time. So far, so good.

A little background on my procedure. (and lots of over use of parentheses & italics)

I think most people think of the type of epidural (an anesthesia epidural) you get when in labor with an infant. The kind I had today is called an epidural steroid injection (ESI) and is given for a herniated disc.

My Condition

I have a lumbar herniation which is pushing on my sciatica. My pain runs down the right side of my lower back, into my hip and down my right leg. At it's worst I have a painful numbness down the back of my leg and foot. I have nerve damage in my right leg and have lost the reflex in my right foot. My doctors have told told me that the nerve damage is still not deep enough to indicate it would be permanent. I've also been told that my foot's reflex should return when the disc is healed. I have had this condition for over 18 months now. I was pain free after quitting my job in April until the beginning of August. Because of that 3 month period they are treating this as if it might be a second injury, (although it's really more likely that it wasn't completely healed and I did something to make it worse again. What I did; fodder for another post.)

I’ve had both type of epidurals and they’re similar, but not exactly the same. For instance, I don’t have a baby in my belly so I get to lay down while the shot is being administered. I also get to watch the machine measuring my heart rate, Blood Pressure, etc...(my BP was 86/39 when I got there, yes, they took it twice, I'm apparently a zombie.) I also get to watch the machine (X-ray fluoroscopy) that shows where they’re putting the needles; if I want (sorry if that makes you queasy, I think it's kinda cool). I walk into a surgery room and lay down on the table (in labor they come into your room w/a cart & sit you up on the bed). My doctor likes to play music and sing while he’s working, which adds an interesting dynamic (today it was James Taylor which was really relaxing to me, so I liked it. I found Led Zeppelin wasn’t really so relaxing the day he had that going. More like driving music to me.) The doctor first uses the X-ray fluoroscopy to locate where he wants to put the shot, he has metal wand to help him be precise on the machine image and then marks it on my physical self with a pen. (When in labor, they have you hug a pillow and hunch so they can feel each vertebra. I don‘t recall any pen marks, but I could be wrong. I was kinda busy right then.) For an ESI they actually put in two shots (you get one in a labor situation) so you get two marks. In both cases they cover the area (and I do mean cover) in iodine and then give you get a shot of something (zylocain, I think) to numb the area, which stings/burns like crazy. After that they put in the actual epidural needle(s). Epidural needles are actually catheters, if you’re in labor they start the medicine and you feel pressure in your back, hip and leg. Let me make it clear that it’s a very uncomfortable pain type pressure. During labor you notice, but usually your contractions are strong enough that you are quickly over it because you suddenly get some glorious relief! In the case of an ESI, ummm, not so much. First they run some dye in each catheter to see which direction the medicine will spread. (I think this is the most interesting part to watch on the x-ray fluoroscopy screen, but it does hurt too.) Adjustments are made as necessary and then they pump in the medicine. They do this part twice because you have two catheters in you. Double the fun. Once again, huge amount of pressure in you back/hip/leg. This time there are no contractions to distract you so the pressure is a bit more noticeable. Ya think? It feels a lot like it’s coming from both the inside of you and the outside and it sort of feels like that area might implode or explode or something. There’s a part of your brain that will start to freak out because this isn’t good, and ohmygawdgetthosethingsoutnownownow!!! but then it’s done and while it still hurts, it’s better than it was, so your brain calms down. They pull everything out, wipe you down, put on a couple band aids, you change and someone (my dad today) drives you home. (In labor, you’re typically still in labor at this time. You ain't going anywhere soon girl!)

Your body will typically react to the shot (they just put sharp things though your back muscles, so you're probably gonna swell). They tell you to ice it for 20 minutes every hour and to take your pain pills as necessary. My personal experience has found that with this one it’s best to take a vicodin, even if not currently dying from pain. I take one every 4 hours till I go to bed. After that I take them as needed. I did this during the first 3 shots and was ready for my Olympic training the next day. Seriously. All. Three. Times. That’s extremely unusual. My reaction to those was so dramatic they decided a fourth wouldn’t hurt. (Poor choice of words on my part.) Most people do not get more than three in a year as they find the effects to diminish after 3.

Epidural #4 was not this same experience. It hurt like hell. Felt like someone was shooting fire down my muscles and nerves. It was awful. The worst part; it didn’t do anything. I felt like creamed crap from that shot for several days, then I just got back to the same back pain I’d been having, minus the creamed crap part. I was very nervous about my treatment today because of #4. I was scared that I’d have the same experience, all that extra pain for nothing. Both my doctors’ think #4 missed it’s mark, and that’s why it hurt so much and didn’t do anything. I’m starting to become inclined to believe them.

I do believe this many epidural shots and my fibromyalgia may just qualify this as a pain management blog instead of a mommy blog.

Hopefully, this is the last post for pain management and we’ll be back to corralling kiddies all the time again soon.

That being said…….

Tomorrow is orientation for BigSpeak’s starting kindergarten.

On Monday,

MY BABY IS STARTING KINDERGARTEN!!! Oh. My. God.

Straitening Things Out

Yup I'm working on becoming the queen of the pun, cause down here in Silicon Valley, that's how we roll.

Update from today's dr visit:

I still don't have a reflex in my right ankle bad

I have an epidural scheduled for 8/21 good

If the epdural doesn't give me permanent bad
relief, I will be given another MRI & most
likely referred to a specialist surgeon.

I have to say that I will be surprised if the epidural gets rid of it altogether. They've helped my pain a lot, but they've never been permanent. I'll be pleasantly surprised if it happens, but I'm not holding my breath on that one.

Dr. K also commented that nerve pain typically goes into your lower leg (below the knee) and as of the last two weeks mine has not. All the other tenderpoints and movement (or lack of) I do and don't have imply the nerve is still a big part of the problem. I assured him that I knew it was as I'm getting tingling and numbness this go around still AND after his little exam my pain was defineatly all the way back down into my foot (I'm pretty sure my shoe and the floor were feeling it for a while there). I've been poping half vicodins all day. (You could set a clock by me cause I can tell you exactly when they wear off). They don't eliminate the pain (a full one probably would, but I'm responsible for kids you know) but they do take the edge off.



I could've gotten the shot this week, but I'm really, really trying to get the girls to the beach house for an extended period this summer. We're going Wed. for 5 days, DAMIT!

Mama Doesn’t Get A Free Day

I’ve been nauseated since Sunday (it’s Wednesday). I’ve mostly been ok until I eat and then I need to lie down because I’m so very nauseated. Obviously, I’ve been mostly avoiding food. Last night it got really bad and didn’t matter if I’d eaten I was so sick. This morning it was still like that so I called my mom to see if she could take the girls for a couple hours and give me a break. She did, so I slept, and took a shower, but still it’s not good. I have only had a granola bar, some jello and a popsicle in the last 24 hours. That and about 7 gallons of water. I’m trying a couple crackers now, cause my stomach is churning on itself. So we’ll see. No sick days for Mama.

Fun Monday--the Fire Sale Edition

Don’t know if you heard, but Northern California is pretty much aflame. Seriously, I woke up with a sore throat from all the smoke in our air. It’s bad. Really bad. None of the fires are very close to us, but the wind is working against us as far as smoke goes. And, just for the record, the beach house has a fire just a few miles from it too, so going down there isn’t much help. Thus you get the fire sale edition of Fun Monday. cough, cough

After many weeks off I decided to participate in Fun Monday again. Fun Monday this week is hosted by Hula Girl at Heart, (go check her out for more on this topic and a really, really 90's wedding dress). The topic she gave us is:

Show us those pieces of clothing you just can't part with, whether you wear them or not. It might be your grandma's vintage wedding dress, a jacket from high school, a t-shirt from an old boyfriend or those jeans you hope to get back into some day. It could be anything. Most of us have something like that we can't seem to throw away.

I was going to participate in the Fun Monday by talking about my favorite outfit, which is a teal skirt & top. I got the outfit the spring Daddy Speak & I were engaged; so it’s 8-9 years old. I love it for a lot of reasons, mostly cause it’s gorgeous and my eyes turn the same color teal when I wear it. I wore it a lot and even took my engagement photos with DaddySpeak in it, so it’s memory is well preserved to me no matter what. Once I got pregnant with BigSpeak (6 years ago) I no longer fit in it. Or at least, no longer fit in it well. I hold on to it in the hope that I will get thin enough to get back into it, although I’m pretty sure even at a size smaller than it, my hips expanded enough so that it won’t fit “right”. But I still hope, a girl‘s gotta have a dream, right? Today I decided I’m going to give up that dream. Yup, just today I decided I’m going to get rid of it. Our friends who lost their house this weekend, I’m going to pass it on to them. Well to K, I don't think D would look that good in teal, I'm just saying... They have nothing now and it’s just sitting in my closet, waiting to eventually be passed on to Goodwill. Instead it’s going to get a new life. It holds such happy memories for me, it seems fitting that it should help her move forward into new happiness.

This is not the best pix of it, but the only I could find for now. Plus look at DaddySpeak w/his long hair! Being the Rock Star he is!

Hot Gift

I know a week or two ago I was complaining about how it’s supposed to almost be summer & we are freezing over here! But this week the temperature has been creeping up and today we were about 95° . Not having AC we’re feeling a bit warm in the Speak household (the kids’ rooms are about 80° at 7:30 this evening). In this case the heat wave does have an upside?; my folks gave us a margarita maker last weekend. It was a late anniversary gift. Coincidently my folks are spending the night here; they’re having their house tented for termites, so we broke out the margarita machine (actually the thing is so freakn’ huge it has it’s own spot permanently on the counter!) No margaritas though, mudslides! Yeah Baby! YUM! Not low carb, but yummy.

Retirement

Today’s the day!

In just a few hours I will officially be retired from work.
Retired from a paycheck. I’ll still be working. Actually working harder, longer hours and getting paid in hugs and kisses rather than dollars.

I think I’ll take the trade off.

This morning LittleSpeak woke up with a nightmare at FOUR. A. M. DaddySpeak got up with her, but she wouldn’t go back to bed, the second he’d try to put her back she’d snap awake and start calling for mama. So he gave her what she wanted; GRRRRR….. She’s actually a pretty good sleeper/cuddle-r. She likes to lay on top of you in kind of a sleep hug, and since she only weighs like 20 lbs it's actually kind of nice. The problem isn’t really her, it’s me. Once she’s in bed with me I don’t really rest anymore; I have an awareness of everything she’s doing, so I’m not really sleeping. So I really got about 3 hours of sleep at best last night. Total of about 10 for the last 36. Woo!

Just to add to the fun; my commute took 2.5+ hours this morning. That is NOT an exaggeration.

Yup, not going to miss any of that. Not at all.


Of course with potty training and summer vacation looming, you may need to refer me to this post in a couple weeks.

Motivation

Or maybe it should be titled “lack of…” cause man have I checked out over here. I have spent my entire morning reading emails, updating facebook and reading blogs, cause I’m cool like that. I just have very little motivation for work anymore, go figure.

Bad case of the senioritis. Oh well, what they gonna do? Fire me? Tank You, I’ll be here all zee week folks, be sure to tip your bartenders and waitresses.

OK, so the effort area of my brain is a bit on the mush side right now, and in that vein here’s something else that requires little effort my part (but maximum reward for you dear internets, cause truly it’s all about you.) A little photo story, bout a girl & her dawg.

Just Hanging Around	Uh Oh! Here Comes Trouble!
Trouble Has Arrived!	Maybe she won't notice me.
Girl & Her Dawg!	Here comes the love!
Too Much Love	There better be a treat in it for me!

OHMYGAWD! I know you don't really care, but dude I can not tell you how much time I just spent working on that damn table so those pix & captions would layout correctly! I do web stuff, so posting a table, not normally a big deal, but OH.MY.GAWD! Apparently there's a bug in blogger related to table and even though I found the info and correct fix for it in the blogger groups it still took me like two hours to really get it to post correctly. I'm not kidding.

See internet I do love you.
I have to also comment; when we first got Merit, she was not a "kid" dog. We worked hard w/her to get her over that. However, she prefers the adults or bigger kids even knowing that the little ones are really the key to the "food train." Of course, DD2 is in lurve with all animals, especially Merit. Merit has been a very good sport (DD2 is the food train after all) but she doesn't have to enjoy it; as you can see here. Merit's expressions crack me up. I know that she and DD2 will be best buds and at some point it will become clear that Merit has become DD2's dog more than mine.

Cleaning House, so to speak

Big News

And now for the most anti-climactic moment of the month…da, da, da, DA! I quit my job today! No, this is not a joke, April Fool’s is tomorrow. I know big surprise. My last day will be April 24th and then, God help us, I will officially be a Stay at Home Mom (SAHM). Right now I’m flying high on my "giving notice excitement" (I love giving notice, it’s such a sense of freedom!) I’m sure two weeks into this, I’ll be begging for them to take me back (I don’t think they’ll want me). DD2 turns two 3 days after I do this, so I will be staying at home right after my kids are done with their baby years. I think that means I’m doing this for them vs. for me.

Oh, yes, and for my love of you internets. You will benefit from more posts and I imagine more fodder for posts. All that time with the two year old, what else could come from it?

………………

Computer Issues (AKA Death vs. Taxes, I may just choose death)

Yesterday, I finally sat down to start our taxes, don’t want to rush into anything you know. It took me two hours to ascertain that the computer can not locate last years return. BAH!

I don’t know if you remember a couple months ago we had a big storm that knocked out our power (and our back fence, which also is still jimmied together, I see a theme emerging). The resulting power surge killed our CPU. It was fine, we have like 4 hard drives backing everything up 2-3 times. Seriously. We pulled out an old CPU which was loaned to us by a friend.

In Silicon Valley everyone pretty much has extra computers, parts and
accessories around their house. Seriously, it’s part of our geek code
here.

So that was all fine, right? Well other then photos we really haven’t tried to access the old files too much and last night when we did, I can’t find the one I need, of course. But hey, the text for my wedding invites, no problem. So I’m pretty sure I also saved this file on my laptop, which is having WiFi issues since we returned from our Cabo trip. Fine, I’ll lug it up the stairs and plug it in to the modem MANUALLY. The humanity of it! In the process of doing this, I found that the laptop is having driver problems (I suspect it may actually be Vista problems, but I don’t know for sure) and can not locate any networks anywhere at anytime. What I do know is that I will now have to spend some time on the phone with someone from Bangladesh and it's going to suck! Fun that I am so looking forward to. I also managed to set it up so that the CPU was not talking to the modem for a while as well. Big Fun! I love playing IT geek when I NEED to be doing something else. After two hours of all of this, I did finally get the CPU talking to the Internets again, but I was done. I loaded some pix to our Google photos and called it a day.

Tonight I get to re-enter all our personal information to start our taxes for this year.

And to really spice things up on Friday, I'll probably call Bangladesh. I'm just saying...

So how was your weekend?

Since I loaded some new photos I’ll share. This is my favorite of both of them together. Taken in Feb., when the outlaws were visiting.

Baby, It’s Cold Outside…

Ok, if you live anywhere in the US, but the West Coast you can pick yourself up off the floor now. I know it’s not cold here compared to where you live, but for me 67 being the high is not cutting it anymore. I got used the mid-80s thing pretty quickly and now this is an rude reminder that it is not summer yet.

Oh Yeah! Hi, yes, we’re back, we’ve been back since the weekend, but I’m still trying to get back into the swing of things. So, um, sorry I’ve been absent, no our plane didn’t crash or anything.

Our trip was super fun & I totally intend to write more on it, but I’m swamped at work (of course) so I need to get a couple things done & then I’ll write you a good post; all about warm, breezy days, whales waving at us, sleeping in and cabana boys bringing super-fresh sushi and swirled margaritas. YUM! If I close my eyes I can almost feel the warmth of the sun on my skin right now. Almost.

Salute!

Hola Chicas & Chicos!

Let's all give a cheer to Senior Greenberg's for not only providing internet access, but FREE access for paying customers (1 hr max, if I apruptly get cut off you'll know why). So we made it to Cabo in spite of the fact that we missed our plane (cab never showed up and yes, we did cut it too close). We ended up buying tickets to LA via Southwest and then from LA to Cabo via Alaska. And just to be clear, the folks at Alaska (especially Linda in SJ and some guy in LA who's name escapes me for now, but hopefully I will remember cause) they both went out of their way to try and "fix" our day for us. And let us also mention the nice lady working the bar at SJ airport who kept our glasses full while we wait to head out. When we did get here we were feeling a bit ragged (having been up since 4 AM!) so it was very nice to arrive at our hotel and see that it really is super posh. We have a view of the pool and the Pacific. I can not believe how large the waves are here ! There's no swimming at our beach, but it's not an issue. DaddySpeak is a really good swimmer and tends to disregard those warnings sometimes, but not this time. He couldn't get over the drop off on the beach. It's the result of the waves.

My first impression of the Los Cabos area was that it looks a lot like home during the summer. That's because we basically flew down the San Andreas fault. But the best thing was first thing in the AM DS goes out on our balcony & OMG we got to see a pod of whales go by. Same thing this AM, so we're foregoing the whale watching boats since we can watch them for free from our room.

Yesterday we walked around a lot, checked things out, went on our obligatory "hotel tour". Our host was really cool, he realized right off we were not interested, and cut us lose right off. In the afternoon I hung by the pool and drank swirled margaritas. I perdict they will be the new popular drink down here by the time I leave. Last night we went out. The wind here is COLD!!! So we ended up eating in a restuarant that was relatively empty to be inside; Captain Fish. We ordered oysters on the half shell & were kinda feeling a bit "taken" since it was $10 for a half doz when we pay $1 each at home. But then they brought them out. OMG! I've never seen oysters this large before. One of them was so large it could've eaten us! That alone could've been my diner, but we split dinner too. Then we went bar hopping. We started a CaboWabo which was fun. The crowd was our age so it was good. After a couple margaritas there I was feeling no pain, I had started the drink a rita, drink a bottle of water, but the ritas were ahead of me. So I stopped. We headed to Giggling Marlin, where we danced for a while & DS did a couple of jello shots. (Bad Idea.) Then we headed to Squid Row where we were some of the old folks there (it's Spring Break here!) Well, us and a half doz dirty old men. It was ok, but a lot of the kids there were sloppy drunk, so that part was lame. We danced for a while there, DS did a couple more jello shots and we headed home.

We were home before midnight. DS over did it.

I mentioned to him at the beginning of the evening to remember we need to pace ourselves, and by the time we were headed home, I was sobered up. I'm sure I wouldn't have passed a DUI check, but my buzz had more or less worn off. DS, on the other hand, had the spins. He got so sick, that we know now, that
1) housekeeping does not work 24 hrs at our resort and
2) the only bucket like item in our room is the ice bucket.

It was a long night, part of which he spent next to the toilet, but he was good as new today and has eaten & everything. I had a very expensive (but worth every penny) spa day today; mani, pedi, & facial at the same time AND a back & neck massage. It was lovely, and NOW I really feel like I'm on vacation. Tomorrow, DS is going fishing, I'll probably lay by the pool all day. On Wed, we're scheduled for a snorkleing booze cruise (not sure that's a great combo, but we'll see) and we're going to go sign up for the sunset cruise in a bit here.

We are having a blast, so I raise a swirled rita to you internet & hopefully you'll hear back from me again soon this week.

It's 84 and Sunny in Cabo today!

And tomorrow, and the next day, and as far as the forecast out. I will be in Cabo as of Saturday and I'm so antsy to get there I can hardly stand it!!! Warm sun, sand, cabana boys w/ umbrella drinks for me & DaddySpeak. (Ok, he can have Cabana Girls bringing him his drinks, but only if there's an umbrella in them and if the girls are at least as old as me. ;-)

I can. not. wait! I will miss my girls so very, very much though. But SUN! And UMBRELLA DRINKS! more later....

Starbucks Closed!!!

Did you know that Starbucks closed tonight for 3 hours????

Every single Starbucks in the Nation was closed.

WTF???? Just Wrong People.

Luckily, I was forward thinking and headed over to my local Barnes & Nobel café.
I’m nothing if not resourceful.

Fun Monday!

I’m Back!
The lovely Mariposa is hosting this week and has chosen a topic I’m interested in participating in.

(1) Please share to us how the NAME of your BLOG was made? I can't wait to
hear interesting funny stories!
(2) Please share to us (in words or photo, though a combination of both
will be a bonus!) your favorite/ most common dish!

1) I wish I had a funny story to share on this one. I knew I wanted to start a blog, but I also knew I didn’t want to use our family’s real names, so I wanted some kind of title that would lend itself toward a name. When I first started this blog my intent was two-fold: to give myself an outlet and to have a written record of myself for my girls. (I want them to have a better understanding of me as a person, of course I won’t let them read this till I’m old and dead, so maybe it’s really for my great grandkids.) After looking up many others (already used) I came up with Mommy Speak. It allowed me to use DaddySpeak, MommySpeak, ToddlerSpeak and BabySpeak or The House O’Speak which I liked. It gave an indication of the blog topic, so it was all good. Of course, toddler and baby aren’t anymore, but it’s still a name I’m happy with.

2) My favorite dish: ummm…Chocolate! Seriously my very favorite thing to eat/drink is my daily mocha from Starbucks. Seriously. Kinda pathetic, huh? I really like a lot of other foods, I list some of those below, but if you wantta make mama happy the fastest way is a: Vente, decaf, single-shot, whole-milk, w/whip mocha. Warms me up and makes me smile just thinking about it.
Other foods high on my list:
Greek
Sushi/sashimi
Swiss Fondue
Ethiopian Food
Mexican
Tapas
Ok, now I'm hungry! Go visit Maraposa for the rest of the Fun Monday participants.

Icing on the Cake

Apparently my back wasn’t bothering me enough. My body thought I was getting off too easy, cause today…today I woke up with a rotten cold. The whole family has had these croup-y sounding coughs for more than a week, but I keep chanting; “It’s the tree pollens. It’s the tree pollens.” And it may well have been the trees, but this morning my sinuses were feeling neglected and got into the act. Now I have all this pressure on my eyes & nose. I'm blowing & spitting up lots of "yellow gunk" (your welcome, eating breakfast, huh?) And my ears are all itchy (on the inside)! Wah! Seriously, I was feeling better than this when I woke up and now I just want to crawl back into bed and go back to sleep. I'm seriously considering it.

Happy Valentine’s Day!!!

Yes, I'm a day late, but really by an hour, so sue me. Would you expect anything less? It's been a very rough week w/my back and all (excuse #37 for not posting), so let's cut me some slack & pretend like I got this up yesterday, ok? Great, now let's all move on to my riviting words.What did you get for V-day? Know what I got? I got an epidural shot! Woohooo! We are living it up at the Speak household. DaddySpeak’s b-day was yesterday, so that coupled w/my back issues (got to have a nerve test yesterday. Big Fun let me tell you.) meant we were very low key this year. Luckily, I had extra stocking stuffers from the $1 bin at Target, and heart balloons I got for the girls yesterday when picking b-day balloons for DS (from the girls) yesterday and matching “play cell phones” (also boutique target, but a bit more than $1) in house for just such a need. Today was shot as far as I was concerned. Once I got home from the shot, around 10, I went to bed & slept till 2. The vidcodin on an empty stomach might have had something to do with it. Ya think? I do feel bad cause I really didn’t do much for DS for his b-day or V-day. But he didn’t go without, just not as much as I might have normally put into it. Between my back issues & his parents being here I just couldn’t get it anymore together than that. I’ll make it up to him & I said so, but I also think he really does know that I will. He ponyed up big time & bought this beautiful necklace a neighbor MADE!!! I may be able to get a photo on here soon, but I’m not promising a date with everything else that’s happening. I will post a photo at some point though cause it’s super awesome and I LURVE it. (Plus I think she's going to open a shop on Esty, so I will link to it for sure when she does.) I have a feeling it was uber expensive, but that’s ok; I love the piece, the person who made it and most especially the person who gave it.
About the shot:
Not exactly like your epidural that you (may have, like I did) got when in labor. I guess I forgot how much the shot HURT! OMG, did that thing hurt like a mofo! Seriously. I think the one that they give you during labor typically gives you so much relief that you don’t really think of it as hurting? Or maybe I blocked that one too, who knows at this point. I can’t be trusted on these topics I guess. If it makes me feel better I seem to be able to completely block the awful part out of my mind. Since this is my 4th go around with this type of shot you might think I’d have some memory of pain. Maybe I’m brain dead or something, cause I really don’t. I do remember from last go around that getting onto the OR table hurt as much as getting off, so that may have been part of it. Everything was already such a mess, the shot didn’t really add much. The other thing is that during that time my right leg was more or less numb and this go around it’s and on and off thing, so I’m thinking I may have been too numb to feel all of it then too. Not so much this time. The pain is this huge pressure, and it feels like the shot is in my hip bone by the time it’s done. I’m sure it’s not, in fact it’s between two vertebrae, wouldn’t you think my tailbone would feel it more or something? The pressure traveled down my leg to the back of my knee & seemed to stop there. Tonight it’s pretty much just my lower back. I'm very stiff now, and I wasn't before, just hurting, as of right now I'm worse. I'm working on the pretense that I'm going to wake up tomorrow (if I ever get my arce in bed) and feel miraculously better. We'll see. I’m pretty sure I did too much today, so I might have felt slightly better if I hadn’t been picking up toddlers, walking up and down stairs, walking the block to deliver valentines and giving DD1 a real mani & pedi (yes, I spoil that child) as the bending to get to her toes & fingers wasn't the best. But you should see her nails; they rock!
About the nerve test:The results of the nerve test were that I am not worse. I’m not better either. Doctor wasn’t thrilled with that, “after a year it should have more healing and therefore better response.” But on the upside, it isn’t worse, so it’s a start. I knew the nerve test hurt like heck last time, but I forgot about the best part: the second part of the test they stick needles (not as thick as an IV one, but much thicker than say an acupuncture one) in you (my leg & lower back) and move them around while running a low current of electricity into them. I’m. NOT. Kidding. It’s to see if the nerves in the muscles are damaged. They are deep enough to cause you to bleed too. So, not only do you get the pain, they up the ante by pressing on the needle and moving it around, while you bleed. This is one of those tests I think all med students should have to have so they know how it feels and be more empathetic about it. I don’t think my doctor was especially rough, but he does seem to be somewhat flip about it. Trust me, IT HURTS!
Must get to bed before I fall over, so looking forward to a pain and test free weekend. Hoping for the same for you and your family!

Back At It

Ah, the back metaphors are back (get it they're back). Lucky you Internet! The saga of the herniated disk continues…When we last left our heroine she had been progressing nicely. The week in Miami in October (sans kids) had done her wonders. In fact, until she got home from that trip and picked the (not so) little ones she was feeling no pain; and we aren’t talking about the Mai Tai’s folks.

Tank you verry much, I’ll be here all zee week!

Yeah, this week was a bad one for my poor little disk. I am almost at the point of naming the guy. Yes, the disk in my back. It seems to get as much press as my kids do, so it seems fitting. Maybe we should have a naming contest, what’d you think? Any suggestions?

I headed out to the orthopedic surgeon today. He had me bend and cough a lot, (but was never behind me & I’m a chick and was fully dressed so save it). I think he was impressed with my mobility, but that’s the thing about being a mom, you do what you have to, which is everything, until you can’t. Then you can’t move at all. At the time the bending didn’t seem like that big of a deal, but by the time I got home from the appointment I was sore & exhausted. Talk about being out of shape, huh? The biggest thing was that he tested my reflexes and guess what! Not so good. My right ankle seems to have lost it’s reflex. (It’s a sign of nerve damage.) I was tested a year ago because the reflex wasn’t so good then either. At that time, I had little to no feeling in my right leg (the disk was pressing on my sciatica nerve). The doctor thinks it’s worse. The only way they can know for sure it so redo the nerve test, so I’m having that done on Wednesday. Oh Joy! On Thursday I be having another epidural. It’s been about a year since my last epidural so that’s good.; means it’s more likely to be effective. I’m actually looking forward to the epidural. I got so much relief from them last time I could be the epidural poster child. Of course, I felt similarly after my first child’s birth and not quite so much after the second. So I’m tentatively looking forward to it. I am NOT looking forward to the nerve test. Last time I had one my leg was more or less numb, especially the part they were testing. Now, I have complete feeling in my leg. It hurt like HECK last time. No, really, it hurt like HELL. Seriously, not a fun test. I can hardly wait to see how much fun it is now that the nerve is working. If you’ve never had a nerve test, they send electrical impulses into your muscles to see how they respond. The slower they respond the more nerve damage you have. I would think it's like getting lots of mini taser guns shot into various parts of you for an extended period of time. Wouldn't surprise me one bit if it came up that they use this type of thing to torture terror suspects. I'm just saying...
I suppose it wouldn’t hurt if the nerve is DEAD! Mine is not, so I don’t imagine it’ll feel good.
The up side of all of this (well beside the fact that I’m getting an epidural which should make me feel better more or less immediately,) is that I got my pain pill prescription refilled! I take vicodin, and I get nervous when I get low. The press that these kinds of drugs get these days make the doctors hand them out sparingly and I’m always nervous when I start to get low. I’m fearful that I'm going to run out over a weekend & be a mess until I can get in on Monday. It’s never happened, it’s just an irrational fear I have.

Alright, I’m off to bed now. At least I can sleep in tomorrow.

The Blahs

Have you ever had a period of time where you feel like you’ve stopped trying? I’m having a week like that. I’m tired (I know, “wah!”) But seriously, the last 3 nights I’ve fallen asleep on the couch right after dinner. It’s really, really not like me. I feel almost zombie-like; I get dressed, but don’t care what I wear (mostly jeans & t-shirt w/sweater/sweatshirt over). I do my hair, but could care less how it comes out; using a spray bottle mostly so it’s frizzy. I just avoid the mirror.

This is why I haven’t written this week. I hate to write and be all wah, wah, wah, whine, whine, whine (unless of course its’ wine,) but that’s how I’ve been feeling all week & can’t seem to get out of the funk. Thanks for sticking with me, yes, I can see you from behind this curtain & I’m lurking around your site too BTW. Hopefully, I’ll be back up to speed real quick here.

The other reason I haven’t written is that I’m hoping to have some very, very big news very soon here. No, I’m not pregnant, get over that one right now. As much as part of me really wants another baby we are done. This big news is something I’ve talked about before, but it never really seemed tangible before. I’m not going to say what it is because I don’t want to jinx it, but that’s another reason I haven’t written; something potentially exciting may be happening and it’s all I can think about, but because it isn’t for sure yet, I don’t want to jinx it. So this topic has been taking up all my brain space and leaving any room for other things. You know how it is. I was going to leave you with some random thoughts from this week, but I got bored writing it. So I guess that’s it for now.

Resolving to Update….

How many titles do you think I can get out of “resolve”? I’m not sure that I haven’t exhausted them all and I’m in January.

Since I did set some goals/resolutions this year I figure the only way I’m going to accomplish any of them is to update them regularly. You, Internet, are keeping me accountable. So I’ve copied them from my original post & will be updating at least once a month, if not more. Guess, I’ll make the 1st & 15th my go-to days on updating these (that would be me making myself accountable to you again there). So here you go….

1) Get our finances in order
a. Meet w/advisor to define what is “out of order” & define & start to implement plan
(i.e.—we were under insured, I’ve upped our coverage.)
Met w/advisor on 1/10, got a summary of “things to do”.
Have already done some of them!
Goal for week: Go over list w/Daddyspeak & make some decisions (1/24).
Follow up meeting w/FA on 1/29.
b. Set up plan to get legal
stuff (ie—living trust, define who the kids would go to, etc…)updated.
FA offered to provide contacts/lawyers for this, follow up on 1/29. Need to define a date in which this should be completed by (will come after speaking w/actual lawyers).
This should be part of discussion w/Daddyspeak on 1/24.

2) Get the house completely unpacked.
a. Spare bedroom & den still have boxes that haven’t been unpacked. (Gee do you think we still need this stuff?)
Daddyspeak started some of this (he couldn’t find his passport & we both need to renew). All boxes have been pulled out.
Goal this week: spend 10 mins in spare bedroom every day (cleaning out/purging).

3) Get all the rooms decorated; still have pix to be hung, etc…I finally accepted that Daddy ain’t going to pony up so I’m starting to do it myself. (Need to unpack/hang at least one thing a week.)
Need to work on this one; I brought a pix downstairs to be hung, but still haven’t done it yet.
Goal for week: Hang at least one print/pix.

4) Follow the Flylady system again (the other stuff will fall into place if I stick with it)
Need to work on this one too. I did update my calendar for this week.
Goal for this week: I will both update my calendar & write out/time my evening routine.

5) Define house projects we’d like to do, prioritize them, budget them out & move on them (if I do #1 and #4 this will actually start to happen.)
Ummm, yeah…need to work on getting this one out of my head & onto paper.
Goal for week: spreadsheet things to be done around house.

6) Walk for 30 mins at least 3x a week.
In my defense, it has been flooding here the last couple weeks (much less the rain). So yeah, I need to work on this one too. I did ski last weekend, does that
count?
Goal for week: walk for 30 mins at least 1x (go to the freaking mall if I have to!)

7) Get hair free (except my head) by EOY.
Goal for week (cause yeah, lagging on this one too). Figure out the clinic I’m going to and cost.