Lost in Space

That's kind of how I feel these days. The beginning of last week my back pain got so back that I was getting chills from it, and then later, having trouble forming coherent sentences, I wish I was joking. I broke down & took pain pills that day. I decided the pills couldn't make me any loopier then I already apparently was. I had my appointment w/the neurosurgeon and since it's almost 2 AM I'm going to keep it quick and say; he recommend surgery. That's a big surprise, coming from a surgeon and all. I'll give you more on that later.

BigSpeak was also sick during part of this week; the joys of going to school. LittleSpeak woke us at 5 AM with the fever. Fun! And I have started with the sore throat tonight. I also spent most of my day exhausted & sleeping on the couch.

this is why I've been MIA this week. Hopefully, more tomorrow; when I'm sick and lying around.

Avast Me Harties!

I'm sure I totally misspelled that, but it's Pirate Speak, I'm not sure pirate were really known for their spelling abilities.
Anywho, Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day! My favorite holiday; drink rum, sing, talk funny, wear cool hats. What more could you want in a holiday?

Now go out there and annoy the crap out of everyone.

Super Nanny meet LittleSpeak

This weekend LittleSpeak started a new phase. I think it's her "monkey" phase. Although I may rename it her "get sold to the gypsies" phase.

If you've ever watched the show Super Nanny you've seen the families' who have the kids who won't sleep in their own beds. Usually these kids have been sleeping in mom & dad's bed. Let it be known here, the Speak kids do not sleep in our bed. It's happened probably once with each child. In each case, child was sick or had a bad dream, so we let them crawl in with us. In both cases no one really slept all that well, lots of tossing and turning, etc... And in both cases, I can't tell you when those happened they were so long ago; less than 2 years, but not by much. So knowing that, what started this weekend with LittleSpeak surprised us to say the least.

Friday night she decided she wasn't going to bed. I laid her down and she started crying. I said good night & closed the door, usually she rolls over and goes to sleep. This night she promptly climbed over the railing of her crib and came out crying, looking for me. After the 3rd time, I lowered her crib rail since it being higher obviously wasn't deterring her from climbing out. A few more rounds of this and I called DaddySpeak to come help. (I'm not really supposed to be lifting her a lot with my back and all.) Super Nanny indicates that you don't want to engage them, you just turn them around, put them back in bed and leave. Engaging, including just talking, is giving them the attention they seek. After 80 rounds (yes, I counted) and an hour an a half we got her to finally stay in bed. Good thing they go to bed at 7:30, eh?

Saturday, nap time, round two. DaddySpeak ran interference since my back was not doing well at all at this point. She was taking longer between attempts so he was in the next room on the computer. BigSpeak was playing in the backyard & wanted to show me her latest trick on the monkey bars. I guess LittleSpeak could hear us, cause the next thing I know I see her little, tear-soaked face at the window. This means she climbed out of her crib, up the changing table and was standing on the changing table in order to see out the window. Since DaddySpeak couldn't hear me yelling for him, I sent BigSpeak up to tell DaddySpeak to get in her room while I kept her talking. I think it goes without saying that the changing table is now out of her room. That was her 30th attempt. Chalk that round up to her as we decided the nap was off at that point.

Luckily Saturday night she was so tired she passed out as soon as she hit the mattress. Yeah!

We've decided she's given up her naps for now; when she needs them she goes down really easily for us, but when she doesn't the effort and time is futile. How am I supposed to get my naps in now???

Sunday night, round three! She started the same as Friday night's episode, only this time she started to tell me she wanted to "sleep in mama's bed". I have no idea what made her think that was an option. DaddySpeak came up to help out and this time it only lasted nine attempts. But she wasn't through with us. Sneaky girl that she is, she showed up in our room at 3 AM and started all over. Not sure if that was a continuation of round 3 or a new round 4. (And really, too tired to care.) After returning her to bed the 3 time, I woke DaddySpeak to take watch. He got to do another 3 attempts (I think) and then she was done.

Tonight she went right down. Of course, the night is young...

I'm exhausted, but I stayed up to write about it for you Internet, don't say I don't love you! ;-)

Creative Me

This has been a hard week. My back is only getting worse; I had a dr. appt today & an MRI now on Monday. BigSpeak got sick yesterday afternoon (fever and throwing up, just fever now) and still is, and LittleSpeak is busy being LittleSpeak in the middle of it all. I haven't written about my back this week because it's rehashing the same old thing, but today I hit a new low. I called DaddySpeak at work & asked him to please come home. With one child I can more or less pull it off, but with two; one sick and the other wanting lots of attention, I just couldn't pull it off. I needed to lie down for at least 10 mins ever half hour (that's how I've made it through the week so far) & it just wasn't happening. DS was a trooper and took a taxi from South City to his car in the South Bay (he takes a van pool). Luckily his company allows for this type of thing once a quarter and will cover what I'm sure was a very expensive ride. I popped a couple pain pills and parked myself on the couch w/lots of support pillows, and promptly passed out. I'm just so exhausted from the pain. I'll let you know more on this when I do, my current dr believes that they will be recommending surgery, but I'm holding out hope. I just don't feel like I'm at that point yet. I'm not sure what that point will be, but it will be before I permanently have a dropped foot. And the point I'm at now is unacceptable. I can't care for my kids!

In spite of the above, I am doing something "just for me" this week, and loving it. I haven't really been cropping the last several months. I guess it was just feeling a little stale, so I signed up for a class at Jessica Sprague.com . I'm loving it. The class I signed up for is a writing class, it was the next one offered and I was feeling desperate. My degree is in communications, which is more than half writing, although you probably can't tell from the way I usually write here. I didn't realize how much I missed writing. I wouldn't say anything in the class has been "new" for me. Most of the techniques were ones I've done in school or at work at some point. But having someone assign me a topic and homework is really helping to get me inspired. We are given a new writing "technique" one day and the next we use our journal entries to help create a new page. In addition, we're getting new templates, papers, etc...to help in designing our pages which is always fun. I can't believe how much inspiration I'm getting from doing this. I'm so excited I'm signing up for the next class (an intermediate photoshop class) next month. I'm excited to be excited about something for me for a change.

The page we did yesterday was about ourselves, something most scrapbookers are notoriously poor about doing. The shoemakers kids have no shoes kind of thing.... It's the first page I've ever done about myself & I really enjoyed doing it. I'm really happy with the result, so I decided to share it here. (Pix is from BigSpeak's first day of school & the photo is offset because she's right next to me, but I also think it brought in a cool artistic effect...at least I'm going to keep telling myself that.)
Tell me you love it, even if you think it's lame. I'm really proud of it.

Potty Watch 2008: It's a Double!

BabySpeak surprised all of us tonight. Not only did she use the potty, but she POOPED!

Yes, the MommySpeak blog has hit a new low, we're talking about poop. Wohoo!

Tonight I went to put her on my lap so we could read before bed. She arched her back & told me "poop, mommy". I checked her diaper & told her she didn't have one. I picked her up again & she gave me the answer. I checked once more (just to be sure) and decided she was about to go. I ran her into the bathroom & put her on the potty. And. She. Went!

We did the potty dance. She got a couple M&Ms (even though she had already brushed her teeth and was about to go to bed). We called both sets of grandparents and I let her tell them herself. We went into her sissy's room so we could tell her and get more hugs and dancing. Tomorrow, after we drop Big Speak off at school we will be heading to the toy store so she can pick out a toy. I believe it will a baby who goes pee.

How appropriate.

Potty Watch 2008: Foul Ball!

Note: This post was written September 1st.

Well Summer is winding down and so is the end of baseball season. It is ending soon ,right?

I only know this cause HOCKEY starts so soon! Let's all just take a moment here to pause and thank the Hockey Gods for all that is good and holy about hockey.

Ok, so...

I haven't said anything in a while about the whole potty training debacle going on in our house. Mostly cause it's pretty much all debacle, and not so much on the training part. I know LittleSpeak is only 28 months so it's not like she's late on this subject. The thing is, I happen to know the kid is actually trained. She chooses not to go until you put a diaper on her. For this reason, I am slowly and painfully going insane. (As if there was any doubt, she is obviously the daughter my mother wished on me; "I hope you have a daughter just like you!" It wasn't said with love folks.) If I didn't think she was interested or wasn't ready (or already trained for that matter) it would be fine. But I feel like the kid is taunting me. Anyone who knows anything about this subject will agree that it is much easier to do this during the summer, so I decided to give it another try during Labor Day weekend.

I striped the kid of her diaper in the AM & let her run around nekkid from the waist down while we're home. The potty is sitting on a mat in front of the TV (for her convenience) and no pull-ups or diapers will be provided. (I have to keep them up high or she'll try to put them on.) Problem is; we have to leave the house occasionally. At which time I put a pull-up or diaper on her. This child can hold it for up to 7 hours! I'm not exaggerating. Once she has that diaper on she lets it all go. She has the kegal muscles of a ....(who would be a good comparison for this? I'm not sure I want to know). On Monday, it finally caught up with her; she had an accident. She pooped herself. She stood next to the mat (not on it mind you) and pooped all over my rug. Then she shrieked as if someone had just torn her finger off. DaddySpeak got there first (and got to clean up, lucky him!) She wasn't happy about this, so we'll see what happens next time. It'll be a bit harder to maintain during the week, so we'll see.

Sexism or Family-ism

I’m going to come clean right off. I live in a VERY blue state. I live in the bluest part of that blue state too. I’m registered Democrat, (so I can vote in the primaries) but really I’m much more socialist or liberal to be honest. So right off, it’s not a big surprise that I’m not planning on voting Republican. I’m not a fan of this war. When we went to war I wrote a letter to my unborn baby (BigSpeak) to tell her that regardless of what history will show her parents did not support this decision and why. Even if it turned out that invading Iraq was a good thing, we still felt it was the wrong thing. Since then, the war has gone less than stellar (many things I wrote in my letter showed to be true) my opinions on that subject have only strengthened.

So that being said, there’s been a lot of buzz about Sarah Palin. Since I’m not planning on voting for anyone from the party, her nomination doesn’t really concern me. However, I do have some opinions about her and her choices. I’ve made a few comments to some posts on some blogs already. But now I’m hearing that the opinions I’ve expressed are “sexist”. Interesting. I’ve never thought of myself that way before. I’m pretty certain no one has ever accused me of anything related to that before. Just to clarify, I’d like to address what my issue is and why I don’t think it’s sexist. I think my opinion is more family-ism. Yes, that is totally a word.

She had a baby FOUR months ago. That woman is obviously made of steel or something. Four months after I had my baby I was barely making it out of the house. I have a lot of respect for her ability to get it together. I'm barely getting it together and my "baby" is 2. But then I'm not running for office either.

My first concern has to do with the fact that she has a special needs child who is under a year. During my first pregnancy I had a “scare “ and did some research about down’s syndrome babies. I found that your first year with that child is really no different than any other baby. After that first year, you start to learn the scope of the your child’s disability. There’s a lot of unknowns related to this, often other birth defeats are not uncommon. I think that her family and child deserve her full attention during this time.

Secondly her 17YO is 5 months pregnant. This is not new news to her. She made the decision to run for a national office knowing that her daughter would paraded out for the public controversy that would inevitably ensue. I don't begrudge her or what happened to her daughter. It is what it is, and I hope for the best for them all. It's going to be hard for everyone involved. I understand having strong personal career aspirations, but I also understand that parenting involves sacrifices. I believe that this is one of those times when a sacrifice might have been the better choice. Is running for this office in the best interest of her family and in turn herself during this time frame?

Either of these issues is a major thing for any family to be going through. Both of them, at the same time???? Talk about having a lot on your plate! I would question any candidate (male or female) about their decision making process in this situation. Perhaps the media wouldn’t have brought up this issue for a man, but I can honestly say that I would have. I just think that her family has a couple of very, very stressful years ahead of them. I understand her husband can take the lead on the family matters, but I don’t think taking on a national office and the sacrifices it will entail is the most responsible choice. Knowing that her family has these issues to deal with in the next couple years says volumes about her decision making. Add to that, the fact that she is running on a platform of “family values” and I would say it equals hypocrisy at best.

I could say more on the subject, but really that what it comes down to for me. I think her family should be the focus for them right now; husband and wife. Making the decision to allow her focus to be elsewhere, definitely makes me question her decision making ability. I don't think that's sexism, I think it's about putting your family first.

The Incredible Shrinking Woman

Of course, now that I'm mentioning it, I'll probably going to jinx it and gain all of it back. I actually do not know how much weight I've actually lost, I don't own a scale, I'd rather depend on how my clothes fit (It's not what I weigh, it's what I look like I weigh, right?). Since I've quit my job I've gone down 3 dress sizes. Yes, Three.



Here's the kicker, I don't know why. Am I dieting, not really. I've been sort of low-carb, but honestly I haven't been that great about it. I haven't been horrible either.



I haven't been "working out". Shoot, with my back being so bad lately I haven't walked much lately, much less worked out.



I'll tell you what is different:



1. I've been nauseated since the month of June. In fact, I was nauseated for pretty much the entire month of June. I lost a chunk of weight in that month, about 8 lbs (my mom has a scale). But, now in September, it's clear that I've continued to lose. I stopped being nauseated 24/7 after about a month, but I still feel queasy at least a couple times a day. I can say my eating has been cut down because of this. It's not uncommon for me to only get one meal or a granola bar in a day. (It's all I can stomach.)



2. I'm chasing a 2YO all day every day. At work I got to sit & play on the web for hours, and now, not so much. I don't even get to sit to check my email, so I think this is the real reason.



I have a theory that my nausea is being cause by low Blood Pressure (BP), so I have an appointment w/my doctor at the end of the month. If I'm right, this could also be part of reason too. I don't recommend this method of losing weight.

Still Resolute

I've been meaning to write a post about my resolutions for a while now. I've been working on them (most of them) all year, but just hadn't gotten around to an update. So tonight I pulled my old post to see how long it's been. I almost fell off the couch laughing. It's a good thing keep up my posting on my resolutions wasn't part of them, cause I've failed miserably on that part. I updated them ONCE! Ummm, yeah. Well, even though I haven't been mentioning it, I have been working on them. So, even though you probably don't care, da da da dummmmm, here's the current update on them:

1) Get our finances in order
Well I obviously did a lot more then indicated in those last posts. Because of my efforts on this topic I was able to QUIT MY JOB in April. OMG, I’m still pinching myself over it. The outcome of this was to find out that we are on track for retirement and the girls college (assuming they aren’t asking for a full ride to Stanford). I do have some follow up items to help consolidate where all of our accounts are located.
Goal for week: Get consolidation paperwork (which has been sitting on my counter for months) out the door.
This is an ongoing goal, so for all intensive purposes I consider this goal ACHIEVED for this year.
b. Set up plan to get legal stuff (ie—living trust, define who the kids would go to, etc…)updated.
Ummm yeah. Not so much done on this one.
Goal this week: Make that phone call!

2) Get the house completely unpacked.
a. Spare bedroom & den still have boxes that haven’t been unpacked. (Gee do you think we still need this stuff?)
Umm..yeah. This one is lagging as well. Big surprise. DaddySpeak has moved things around a bit. And I’ve pulled together a few boxes for recycling, but honestly nothing to write home about. I did get a dent made in the spare bedroom, but that was after it got much worse for a while due to an influx of hand-me-downs.
Goal this week: spend 10 mins in spare bedroom every day (cleaning out/purging). Dude, I’d be happy if I got ONE day in this week.

3) Get all the rooms decorated; still have pix to be hung, etc…
No where near where I’d like to be on this one, but progress has been made. I had a photoshoot of the girls in July & then purchased a ridiculous amount of prints, but hey, it’s “art” right? The result is that some of the rooms in our house are looking pretty good. It’s moving along.
Goal for week: Hang at least one print/pix.

4) Follow the Flylady system again (the other stuff will fall into place if I stick with it)
Afraid this one is still where it was at the beginning of the year. I’m not sure why but for some reason I just can’t seem to get off my arce & just do it. I know it works, I just need to do it. I have been taking small steps, (baby steps!!!) so it’s not a lost cause, but if I would hunker down & do it, life would get a lot simpler.
Goal for this week: I will both update my calendar & write out/time my evening routine.

5) Define house projects we’d like to do, prioritize them, budget them out & move on them (if I do #1 and #4 this will actually start to happen.)
I did do the spreadsheet on this one. And some of them have actually happened. But new things get added & reprioritize things, so it’s hard to remember how far we’ve come.
Goal for week: reassess spreadsheet & tackle a new project.

6) Walk for 30 mins at least 3x a week.
I’m hoping to get going on this again. My back is tentatively better right now (knock on wood) so tomorrow I’m going to try adding the 30 min walk after we drop BigSpeak off at school. OF NOTE: A large part of my reason for wanting to do this was to try and drop some inches/pounds. In the last 3 months I’ve gone down 3 (yes, THREE) dress sizes. I kid you not. I don’t know how much I’ve lost cause I don’t own a scale, but I do know that I really, really need to go shopping for some clothes cause all of my shorts and pants are HUGE on me. I'm going to write about how this happened later this week.
Goal for week: walk for 30 mins at least 1x this week.

7) Get hair free (except my head) by EOY.
This is almost complete. I took the bull by the horns and got this done. All I can say is, “why didn’t I do this sooner!!!” For the first time in years I’m considering wearing a regular bathing suit (instead of board shorts) because my bikini line isn’t full of in-grown hairs. I know TMI, sorry. The shaving I do have to do is only about every 2 weeks now. Yeah I know. AWESOME! I was very, very expensive, but worth every damn penny. If you're even thinking about doing this, by all means find a way!
Goal for week: schedule next appointment.
I consider this goal ACHIEVED.

So two of my 7 have been achieved. Not so bad for a girl who updated once, huh? I'm motivated to get a few more check marks in the done column now.

Have your resolutions fallen by the wayside? What have you completed?