tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-204595362024-03-23T11:15:05.731-07:00mommy speakmama speakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03640989726991698596noreply@blogger.comBlogger529125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20459536.post-91335265663501433822016-06-07T03:21:00.000-07:002016-06-07T03:21:11.202-07:00The Day I Accomplished Nothing, and Everything At The Same Time (How's that for cryptic?)Well, I accomplished nothing today. That's not exactly true. I did NOT accomplish what I set out to do today. It's been hotter than all get out here, so I had planned to work in the classroom, then get my butt moving & hit Costco, walk the dog, (Millie; working to resocialize her,) to the dog park, & make dinner, all before it got too hot. NONE of THAT, happened. &mama speakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03640989726991698596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20459536.post-74233947519026601002016-03-10T02:48:00.000-08:002016-03-10T02:48:09.263-08:00My Good KarmaTomorrow, I embark on what will be one of the hardest things I ever have to do in my life. Tomorrow, I am taking Merit in to be euthanized. I've been a mess for over a week now, knowing it's time. Her arthritis is bad. Three kinds of pain pills bad. And she still has good and bad days. Even with the pain pills. This week the bad days have outnumbered the mama speakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03640989726991698596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20459536.post-89850350811109819522016-02-04T23:36:00.000-08:002016-02-10T01:04:26.060-08:00Status: Health, Winter 2016I think I'm writing again. (Lord knows I need to do something different. What I'm currently doing isn't working.)
I feel like I've been more or less on the brink of a nervous breakdown since before Thanksgiving. (Dramatic much, why yes, how did you know?) Little things are helping keep it at bay, but they're sandbags and the levy wall really, really wants to break. mama speakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03640989726991698596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20459536.post-19583401392828296122016-02-04T22:59:00.000-08:002016-02-04T22:59:29.436-08:00Well Hello There....I've been thinking about writing again. I just read my last post. February two years ago & I had an almost identical conversation with my shrink today. And to be honest, it's almost more than I can take. The reason I have for writing isn't about me or my kids. But reading that post & realizing the spiral I've been on for YEARS now? I just want to make it all go away. Youmama speakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03640989726991698596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20459536.post-70230876677354666932014-02-06T23:27:00.001-08:002014-02-06T23:27:47.480-08:00Dark Clouds, Silver-ish LiningsIt's been crazy, as usual. But new crazy. I've been struggling with sleep since Thanksgiving. Yeah, 3 months now. I don't sleep AT ALL for 2-3 nights, then on the 3rd or 4th night I pass out exhausted. So that's been a bit draining. (Ya think?) My endocrinologist is messing with my drug cocktail. We've established that both the T4 & T3 hormones mama speakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03640989726991698596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20459536.post-60304774768834275812013-10-09T00:05:00.000-07:002013-10-09T00:05:36.282-07:00More, (or less,) of the SameSo a super quick update.
Right after I last posted, my energy level Tanked! Plus lots of symptoms: low BP, (90/60,) very low body temp, (around 90. Yes, i am a real life zombie. Who knew?) Hot flashes & night sweats, (while being only 90,) extremely dry skin, hair loss, loss of appetite.... I think you get the idea. Took a month to get in for blood work & my numbers aremama speakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03640989726991698596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20459536.post-65502550781172456242013-09-02T17:58:00.001-07:002013-09-02T19:03:16.372-07:00Return of the Mommy (Speak)Nothing like a little free publicity to get one off her arce & write. So, thanks to SheKnows.com & Sherri Kuhn for kicking my arce to get back on the horse again. (Even if you didn't realize you were providing that service.)
It's been awhile, (February,) since I last posted. At that time, I was in a really dark place. In my defense, that last post was written during a time in which, I wasmama speakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03640989726991698596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20459536.post-24587020888087402442013-02-16T18:27:00.003-08:002013-02-16T18:27:31.363-08:00BrokenWe're in Tahoe right now. Everyone went out to play this morning in the snow, while I laid on the couch on my side, trying to get my body to not hurt so badly. When you have chronic pain, going on vacation might seem like a good way to relax and manage your pain. Unfortunately, if you don't have a good bed, your usual and other potential problems tend to pop up, negating any benefits you might mama speakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03640989726991698596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20459536.post-73139905959167795202013-01-24T09:25:00.001-08:002013-01-24T09:26:08.583-08:00This...Saw my rheumatologist this week. It was disappointing in that he doesn't seem open to alternative medicine; acupuncture. I didn't bring up chiropractic with him. I'm torn on this, I'm not having good success w/acupuncture, but I know people who do, so I was hoping he'd have insight or referrals. Also, his response was so overwhelming negative it made me wonder if he's the best fit for me.&mama speakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03640989726991698596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20459536.post-53059725545731247442013-01-13T13:40:00.001-08:002013-01-13T13:47:22.180-08:00TiredYou know what would be awesome? A pain free day. THAT would kick ass. Could one of you please get on that? (I did say please.) I  actual have a couple hours this week when nothing hurt, (not all in a row, so don't get too excited.) and it was pretty nice. If I could get a whole day a week like that, I could get some shit done. A whole day without pain would kick ass. Maybe I wouldn't be so mama speakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03640989726991698596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20459536.post-84308290082982803742013-01-10T12:17:00.001-08:002013-01-10T13:16:17.215-08:00To Tablet or Not to Tablet... So trying something new this time. I got a tablet for Christmas, (Nexus 7,) and I'm writing on it now. I asked for it, thinking I would be able to do more than I could on an iPad. I was hoping to be able to utilize existing software, (Photoshop,) from my laptop, and work on some of my scrapbook pages. To be honest, I haven't given it a full shot yet. Since it would be web based, I'm pretty sure Imama speakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03640989726991698596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20459536.post-7706642228259692612013-01-01T23:07:00.002-08:002013-01-01T23:07:42.114-08:00Happy New Year!!! Whatever that's about...
Yup, as my post title implies I'm my usual chipper self. Read on, I know you've been waiting to hear from me w/baited breath.... ;-)
I'm checking in to say, I'm going to try & blog more this year. Yeah, I do know that isn't saying much. But I have a "plan" so that means it might actually work out. I'm trying, is what I want you to know.
I know, for a lot of mama speakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03640989726991698596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20459536.post-74161370074607731702012-12-15T23:05:00.001-08:002012-12-15T23:05:12.444-08:00Love Them FiercelyI have to write this & then I'm going to move on from it.
Yesterday, the shooting in Sandyhook, CT.
I have no words.
I don't know how to express the depth of pain I feel about this incident.
I originally saw a headline, but it was right after it happened & the only info was that there was a shooting. About an hour later my mom texted me & told me at least 18 mama speakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03640989726991698596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20459536.post-60417802690215082822012-12-10T13:36:00.000-08:002012-12-10T13:36:38.175-08:00It's Baaack.... Fibro Has Reared It's Ugly Head Again
My Pain Diary for November
As much as I've been trying to convince myself differently, I'm having a horrible Fibro Flare. It probably started in October, but I didn't want to believe it, and really didn't start tracking it well, until November. If you're someone who deals w/a chronic illness, you know exactly what I mean by "tracking." For the rest of you, when you have a mama speakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03640989726991698596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20459536.post-40537864453989062472012-09-11T11:19:00.002-07:002012-09-11T11:19:30.858-07:00I Choose Love (9/11 tribute)Had a bit of a rough morning. My back was bad from the night before, but got the girls to school on time. Even rode bikes, which seems to be helping to loosen up my hip/back, so I'm actually kind of proud of myself on that one. A year ago, I would've called a neighbor to have the girls tag along and walk with them to school. My right leg & foot were falling asleep on the bike ridemama speakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03640989726991698596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20459536.post-5528179340479042182012-08-22T01:23:00.000-07:002012-08-22T01:23:13.798-07:00My Little HexagonYou must laugh when you see that I've posted. Knowing, there will be an onslaught of excuses related to my absence. And, while they're good ones, they are still, just excuses. We're on the very end of summer vacation. I'll do my best to be short in bringing you up to date.
Big's issues have been in a holding pattern. I'm not sure she was completely truthful about nomama speakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03640989726991698596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20459536.post-59352856209300549122012-07-17T19:05:00.001-07:002012-07-17T19:07:54.957-07:00Update on the Update This was written in April. I considered re-writing it to a more timely post (where we are now,) but I figured between this and the post before it, you get a pretty good idea of where we all are right now. Summer vacation has changed things up a bit. And while, life in general seems to be calmer, I suspect we won't know if any of the things we're doing to help our girls is mama speakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03640989726991698596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20459536.post-67878521793420238702012-07-14T01:49:00.001-07:002012-07-17T19:08:10.149-07:00Back in the SaddleSo I've been MIA for about a month here. I actually wrote most of post about the stuff going on w/Little that I'm going to post here after this, but I wanted to address why I haven't posted. At the end of the school year, Little's teacher & I got into it. She felt that a question I asked her (via email,) was implying that I didn't approve of her way of teaching & choicesmama speakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03640989726991698596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20459536.post-77557137188744869052012-04-04T00:21:00.000-07:002012-04-04T00:21:10.966-07:00Say What?... I wrote the following in the beginning of November. I wanted to have a little more information about what was happening before I posted this. Thing was, life happened; the holidays, etc... And this topic snowballed on us. I'm finally coming up for air. I debated about discussing this at all. It's not my topic to discuss, really. But, so much of my life mama speakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03640989726991698596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20459536.post-3243034240879814802012-03-07T18:07:00.001-08:002012-03-07T18:07:37.072-08:00I'm A Slut, How About You?I know I've been MIA for a month. That's because I'm getting better, but as I add things I can do to my list I find exhaustion in the evenings. Not even enough energy to eat dinner some nights. It's a good problem, I agree. I'll detail more in the near future, but for now, THIS, (see below,) is high enough on my list that I feel the need to write the following.
If mama speakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03640989726991698596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20459536.post-64947203045341147442012-01-12T09:00:00.000-08:002012-01-12T09:00:00.666-08:00ART & INSPIRATIONMy current new addiction online is Pintrest. If you haven't been
there, and you have a life, you may not want to visit. It's a huge time suck! Because it's totally made of AWESOME!
A friend described it as a "glossy magazine, but on the internet." I
think that's fairly accurate. I've acquired some great ideas that I've
actually used. It's mostly kidsmama speakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03640989726991698596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20459536.post-25979313784944550022012-01-10T09:00:00.000-08:002012-01-10T09:00:06.022-08:00Inspiration (AKA: I Win At Coolest Mom EVER!)I am not going to vent & bitch today.
Opps!
Should've told you to sit down, sorry. My bad. Pick yourself off the floor now.
My daughters are both very into art. You know how kids have a default activity they tend toward when there's nothing else going on? It's art for my girls. They have 2 large drawers in my kitchen desk full of art supplies. They also have 2 mama speakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03640989726991698596noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20459536.post-1156746238193306172012-01-06T17:16:00.000-08:002012-01-06T17:16:42.557-08:00Day at the Park -- repost I was looking for some info about Little, bc my blog is her baby book. I came across this lovely little post, from when Big was 3 & Little was 4 months old, August 27, 2006. I don't even know the woman who wrote this, she has so much energy! This whole deal was actually pretty funny. Thought you all might enjoy it.
I mentioned that I’m checking into a new mom’smama speakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03640989726991698596noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20459536.post-41678913206362862932012-01-02T20:45:00.000-08:002012-01-02T20:45:43.239-08:00Happy New...MehI know that being a new year & all, I'm supposed to be all reflective & stuff. Meh. I want to set resolutions this year, (which is really a first for me to be honest). And there's a litany of obvious items I want to resolve to change, but really, I can't be bothered to think that hard about it. Doesn't say much for how well I would keep said resolutions, does it?
My realmama speakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03640989726991698596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20459536.post-57239625503016749582011-12-28T19:27:00.000-08:002011-12-28T19:28:16.204-08:00Christmas Chaos (No More?)
I'm a big proponent of the less is more philosophy, but was raised in a "more is more" household. That's not to say I don't appreciate all that I have or was given, because I do. A couple years ago, I got fed up with all the "expectations" of what we should do and who we need to see and exchange gifts with. I wasn't alone & luckily, my SIL and I were able to convincemama speakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03640989726991698596noreply@blogger.com