Fluff

Ok, I haven’t uploaded my pix from this weekend yet, “Don’t shoot me!” But it’s why I haven’t posted anything in the last 24 hours. It’s probably good, lots of fluff has been floating around in my head to write about, but really that’s what it’s been: FLUFF. (But then isn’t that what a blog is? I suppose, sigh. I’d like to think its somehow more meaningful then that. But so far, not so much.
My SIL came home to an interesting surprise from our little weekend. Lucky her! I personally have been the recipient of one too many of these types of surprises, not from any animals that are currently alive and no Internet, that’s not why said animal is deal. Although I’ve been informed that others would’ve have killed over less. It’s no fun. But it’s a funny story when it happens to someone else. Hey, it’s not like it’s a secret that I have warped sense of humor.

I was all set to tell you how I think my Fibro is not really in remission this pregnancy and probably wasn’t last either, I’m just less tolerant of it since I’d gotten onto meds that were working. But it’s so boring. I almost fell asleep writing it, so I erased it. So, I'll save you the trouble & I’m off to watch Jon Stewart, (yeah TiVO) it’s where I get all my news you know.

I'm Baaaack!

Hola! Went to Tahoe for the weekend. Pix of Daddyspeak & Toddlerspeak (TS) forthcoming. I was taking all the pix so I’m pretty sure there are none of me. Sat in traffic Friday going up (it was literally painful in Davis and for NO REASON!) Sat inside on Saturday because it was a blizzard all day. We did go out in it and sledded, made snow angels, snowfamily and pulled TS around on her skis on the road. But otherwise, sat inside most of the day playing card games, and eating. TS loved it BTW. Finally convinced us to let her go down on the sled by herself (what was I thinking????) But she was fine & thought it was great! More later.

It’s a Dog’s Life

Well today it is. First I read this over at Antique Mommy, which made me cry like a baby. Then I read this at Sweet Juniper, which made me laugh out loud. So I’m feeling very guilty about not posting any pix of my other babies now. (So see below. Old pix but they look the same and it’s a good hair pix for me.) Especially considering my drama over Mowry the other week. BTW, Mowry has totally chilled since all of that went down. We haven’t put the dogs in the run, so that’s part of it, but maybe he’s figuring how to transition better as time goes on. We’re going skiing this weekend (well, Daddyspeak (DS) & Toddlerspeak (TS) are skiing, I’ll be pouting in the lodge, seeing as how if I can’t be on the slopes I ought to at least be able to drink hot toddies in bar or something. And I can’t do that either!) Anywho, I took the dogs to new boarding place for an evaluation/playdate and they did really well, so that’s a plus. And two people have mentioned to me this week that 5 years of age was a magic number for their dogs energy-wise, so I’m hopeful that we can work it out and he’ll mellow. (Mowry will be 5 this year.) I didn’t get the response I was hoping for from the rescue group I contacted, so I’ve retreated to my corner to pretend that nothing is wrong.



Merit is blk/wht & Mowry is all blk. I'm the one in the middle. Save it. This was taken in the Fall 2002.

Just plain tired.

Daddyspeak (DS) had a work dinner tonight, so Toddlerspeak (TS) and I were on our own. As it worked out my SIL was also was having a “girls night” so we took the girls to Fresh Chunks for dinner. It was fun. TS & her cousin loved it. But man, after we got home, getting TS into bed was such a freak'n process. She was all wound up from being with her cousin, so she was pulling all the stops to prolong it. (I want to pick my PJs, not those, these, no those. I need to go to the baffroom again. I need some water. etc…) By the time I got her into bed I was exhausted. I don’t envy any of those single parents out there that’s for sure. I’m sure I had something funny, even witty to share before all of that. But now I’m just tired.

It’s times like this when I wonder what we were thinking by starting on #2. I don’t question our decision over the big stuff, not even the minor major stuff (like say the volcanic tantrum we had last night). Somehow, that stuff you get through and it’s not as exhausting. I guess you expect it on that stuff. It’s the part where the day-to-day just makes you so damn tired, that’s when I wonder "What the heck I was thinking? How on earth am I going to pull this off?" I know it’s mostly the hormones talking right now. When I finally get her into bed and get that hug from those perfect little arms that now fit around my neck, then I remember why we’re taking it on. And it is all worth it.

I love this pix of her. This is from Oct. 05. She's showing off for DS, twirling while he tells her how beautiful she looks.

I'm not Bi-Polar, I'm just Toddler!

We had a MAJOR meltdown last night at dinner. First she wanted to sit her booster seat, then she didn’t want it, “it’s for babies”. We explained, “it’s not for babies, highchairs are for babies.” But by that time she was on a roll; the tears were flying, the whining had commenced and nothing was going to stop it. She wanted the highchair. (foot stomping w/tears & yelling). She got told no. Covered that angle for a while. Finally, got told she was going to get a timeout. Now she wanted Mama’s lap. The answer to that is no as well. More tears, more yelling, graduated to sitting on the floor in a puddle and finally after 2 timeouts she realized none of it was happening. So she happily sat down & ate her dinner. Whew! I’m exhausted writing about it.

So tell me, why do you think they call it Bi-Polar?

They should just call it Toddler.

So F***ing PISSED!!!

So I had this unbelievably busy afternoon. Get off work. Drive home. Pick up dogs. Take dogs to new boarding place for playdate/evaluation. Yoga. Pick up Toddlerspeak (TS) from daycare. Pick up dogs. Drive home. Blah, blah, blah. You get the idea. General mom stuff. Well driving home my gas light goes on (of course). I stop to get gas after dropping off the dogs. Only the place I stop at seems to have their ATM system down. Not unusual for this place, so I drive to yoga, get TS after and stop for gas at another station (same company) on the way to pick the dogs up. Also, seems their system is down. Grrr…. I have $5 on me, so I put that in the tank (not literally). When I pick up the dogs and try to pay, their system isn’t cooperating now either. Hmmmm….maybe it isn’t just the gas station. (Thank goodness for checks, right?) So I get home & go to check my online banking AND I’M LOCKED OUT OF THAT!!!! On any other normal night I probably would’ve chalked it up to bad karma, but for some reason I decided to not be a flake for a change and call the bank.

Turns out my card has been “compromised”. WTF! (You mean, someone took my card on a date, got it drunk & took advantage of it???? Well, just got it drunk, the room mates stepped in & got her home before she went home with the jerk.) Apparently, I used it somewhere and they realized that all the cards during a certain time period were stolen, mine included. Nice, huh? So my card, online banking, etc…all blocked. Now I have to wait for a new bank card (5-7 days). 5-7 days is an eternity for someone who rarely carries more then $5 in her wallet & visits Starbucks several times a day. helllo??? Who are these people who decide the time frame for a new card is 5-7 days???? How the hell do they get anything done w/out their ATM cards for that length of time??? I got them to unblock it for an hour so I could run out at ten o’clock at night, make a deposit, take out cash and get gas (I'm sure I scared the crap out of that gas station attendant) to cover my arce for the next 5-7 days. Jeez I hate this kind of crap! I was thinking I had missed this too!

Cloudy Judgement

Daddyspeak (DS) is now aware of the blog. Well I think he’s been aware of it. But since I didn’t come out and offer up the URL he finally asked this weekend. (gasp) I’m pretty sure the look on my face was pretty much that I didn’t want to give it up, of course implying that I’m writing about him non-stop (which I’m not). So I gave him the URL. (Obviously the pregnancy hormones are clouding my judgment. That or my lack of caffeine.)

The whole point of keeping this blog is to let me vent, so I can’t imagine I’ll be holding back now. I’m sure it will make for some interesting conversations at some point (at home & on the internet). Especially when I get into venting about his family, which I’m sure will go over huge. I know he’ll enjoy the venting over my family. Let’s hope he loses interest quickly. It is basketball season after all.

On another note; I found out a friend had the caffeine issue during pregnancy too. Meaning that her doctor ended up telling her to drink it too, for similar reasons. (I forget to drink some on Saturday, so by Sunday noon I was getting another one of those headaches & dizzy spells. I promptly drove to Starbucks—doctor’s orders!) Guess I’m not a total freak of nature. Maybe we’re like the kids in X-Men; we’re the evolved part of the species, (or our unborn children are) and everyone else just hasn’t caught up yet. I wonder what cool X-Men type name they’d give us?

Happy New Year!

Gratuitous toddler pix (a little late but it's so cute I'm sure you'll forgive me).

Weighty Issue

So I mentioned I’ve had that “I’m too big for my skin” feeling going on. I figured my “snacks” were probably having an affect & I had put some weight on. (Just in case you weren’t paying attention, up until now I’ve gained 2 lbs in this pregnancy. Yes, I said 2 lbs! Yes, I’m 6 months pregnant. I know that’s weird. When pregnant w/Toddlerspeak (TS) I had gained 20 lbs by now. Yes, I said 20. Drop it.) So anyway, we don’t own a scale. My parents do, and I usually get on theirs once a week to check things out. Yesterday, I’m dropping TS off for the day and I say to my mom, “Oh, I want to weigh myself, I’m pretty sure I’ve gained. I feel like I’ve gained.” And in all of her supportive nature my mother proceeds to inform me that my ass looks bigger. She’s practically giddy with the idea that I’ve put on weight and follows me to the bathroom! (I find this unbelievably rude, but hey that’s me.) So I get on the scale and start laughing. I haven’t gained an ounce. She was downright disappointed!

“Are you sure?”
“Is this the same scale you usually weight on?”
“What were you wearing last time?”

“Chain mail mom, I was wearing chain mail the last time I weighed myself.”
Jeez!

Freak of Nature--that's me!

So after all my bitching about feeling crappy, turns out there was actually a reason. Well besides being pregnant. Ok, because of being pregnant! (Jeez Internet you can be so damn picky sometimes!) I still had that crappy headache yesterday afternoon & decided I should call the nurse practitioner and just give them a shout out about what was going on. I mean if I had a headache for over 24 hours (and no pain killers were making a dent) w/out being pregnant I would absolutely call my doctor, so I figured, even though they were going to tell me it was hormones, (see I’m so smart I could be a doctor) I should at least make them log it in my chart or something. So my doc & nurse are out on Wednesdays so the fill in calls me & starts asking a bunch of questions. She started asking about dizzy spells, so I told her about the weird ones I was getting (not w/the headaches, but notable by their length none-the-less,) and she says she’s going to talk to the doc & call me back. Phone rings like 2 minutes later, “Can you come in like in the next half hour?” “Uh, yeah.” “Ok, cause the doctor really thinks you need to be seen.” I hate it when they do that. Makes you feel like such a dork, like “why didn’t you call sooner”. And you’re sitting there going, “but it’s a headache.” So it turns out they wanted to take my blood pressure. I was having symptoms of someone having high blood pressure. But no high blood pressure for me, dear Internet. No, the anomaly that I am, I have low blood pressure, which is the reason for all of this. Apparently the blood is getting hung up in my legs, causing the headaches & dizzy spells. We talked about what I do when I have the dizzy spells and the doctor told me to keep on doing what I’m doing, (change my position, eat something sweet, etc…). She also told me that I can take Excedrin Migraine, “which has caffeine” for the headaches. And that I might want to go get a cup of coffee right now & see if that doesn’t get rid of the headache. So I promptly went to Starbucks and ordered a caffeinated mocha & my headache went away. How many pregnant women do you know who get told to go have caffeine????? I’m such a freak of nature.

On a side note: At the doctor’s I found that I’d lost the 2 lbs I’d previously gained. (And I have a good weight story I’ll write about later.)
So, what ploy do you think I should use to get my doctor to tell me start eating sushi? =)

Knocked Up!

I’m officially pregnant (just took me 6 months to work that out, maybe it was the hormones). In the last couple days I’ve hit the “uncomfortable in my own skin feeling”; which, in case you've never been pregnant, translates to that “bloated-fat-achy (in places you don’t want to know about)-can’t get comfortable even to sleep-constant headache-heartburn-exhausted-bitchy feeling.” (You think my doctor’s advice to have some snacks is adding to my “fat” feeling?) You can bet I’m fun to be around. I’m a regular par-tay! On top of it, Babyspeak has decided to get strong enough to actually start beating on her mother from the inside now. Fun! Extra-strength Tylenol is my current best friend. I’m doing the, “has it been four hours yet?” dance a lot. Mostly cause I woke up with a headache that Will. Not. Go. Away. Honestly, this one is bad (it's not a migraine, I've been know to get those too,) but the length & consistency of it is exhausting me. Why is it during the time you most need a drink you’re not supposed to have one? I’m off for more Tums, Tylenol & bed!

Mama Bear

So Daddyspeak (DS) was not game for the SF Zoo as I had hoped. I could’ve pushed it and made him go, but he didn’t want to drive up there again, “since he has to do it every day”. Wah! This was for something fun! Anyway, I didn’t let him completely off the hook. I dragged him and Toddlerspeak (TS) to the Discovery Museum in San Jose instead. Major torture considering school was out and the weather was crappy (for CA, it wasn’t raining or anything, just cloudy/gloomy/cold) so everyone was dragging their kid somewhere indoors. TS had a pretty good time in spite of the crowd. One little mark on the day, she does this thing where she tends to hang back when other kids are pushing their way in. (I’d say she gets intimidated with the situation.) She bites her lower lip (precursor to a pout) and grabs onto whatever toy she has in hand, just in case they try to grab it. Watching her play in the sand table, some of the kids were maneuvering to push the smaller ones around, I told DS I wish I knew a way to help learn to stick up for herself. You know, push back a little. He told me she’s got to learn it on her own, and he’s right, but it’s hard to watch. You want to go smack the crap out the little snot who’s trying to grab the shovel she patently waited her turn for. Not to worry, little snot’s mom quickly told him to back off and moved him to some other activity since he wasn’t going to play nice at this one. (I don't think little snot was going to play nice at any activity to be honest, but that's just me.) TS didn’t totally give it up either, (So I didn’t have to go be Mama Bear & stick up for her.) I just know that if he’d been quicker/stronger and gotten the shovel from her she would’ve protested, but she would’ve have done much about it. She’s what you would call a rule follower. It’s a great trait if you’re her parent, (she stays in the timeout chair when you put there) but it worries me slightly for her future social life. I know there are much worse things I could worry about; I’m a mama it’s my job to worry about this stuff. And honestly I’m really good at it.

I was hoping to have some great pix to share, but in true toddler fashion we took like 50 pix and really NOT ONE of them came out all that hot. But just so you don’t think I’m making her up here’s a gratuitous kid shot (stunning or not).

Calling God?

As you may remember, we moved into this house the weekend before Thanksgiving. Even though we only moved THREE MILES DOWN THE ROAD this city’s phone company doesn’t talk our old city’s phone company so we had to change our phone number. Beyond annoying. Anyway, let me tell you, a change in phone number immediately disregards any good work you may have done to discourage all telemarketers who shall now commence calling the second your phone is hooked up (probably before that too. How would they know the difference, they’re in India.) But that’s all a bitch for another day. We have caller ID, so we avoid the majority of them. But the other lovely side affect, much harder to avoid, are the phone calls for the previous owner of said phone number. In our case the previous owner was Jesus Vasquez (or something like that. I know I’ve got the first name right.) Anyway, when we got our 5th call for Jesus during dinner tonight it occurred to me, “When they’re looking for God they call our number”. How very lost the flock has become.

All Hail Ye Mighty SBUX God!

Life is very good. We are getting a Starbucks on the corner leading into our neighborhood. Everyone, sing with me, “We are getting a Starbucks, We are getting a Starbucks…" Not that the closest Starbucks are far away (there are at least 3 within a mile). But at our old house I could walk to the closest Starbucks. It was the one thing about the new house I was sort of disappointed about; I could only drive to the closest Starbucks (Daddyspeak would say that’s probably a good thing. He hates Starbucks. In fact hate might be too mild a word. But he hates all things corporate including Mickey Mouse & Disneyland. I may have married the antiChrist--how can you hate Disneyland?) Now I just need a scrapbook store within walking distance (and a winning lottery ticket so I can be a SAHM who can afford to send my kids to school for socialization reasons, and some much needed crop time) and I'll be dialed. I'm not holding my breath.

Daycare vs Preschool

Toddlerspeak (TS) goes to daycare 2 days a week. (The other 2 days are at G’mas.) Her current daycare is pretty much around the block from our old house. It’s a small daycare for a center. The group she’s in has 18 month olds up to 4 year olds. It’s in a house that’s been converted and it’s not one of these bright, shiny new places you see. You know the ones that cost the same as college tuition. Anyway, the main reason for having her in it was socialization, so we didn’t worry so much about what the schedule was and how much instruction she might or might not be getting. And let’s face it, the price was right.

So now that we moved we don’t live around the block from the daycare. It’s not totally out of the way, but as I pass about 10 centers on my way to this one and I do feel a small amount of frustration toward it during those times. Daddyspeak and I figured we’d wait to change her daycare until she turned 3. Figured we put her in preschool with extended care at that point and since it’s only 6 months away, no big deal, right? Well a new baby is arriving at that same time. Hmmm, what to do? If the change in schools isn’t as positive as hope for we don’t want her to think that we’ve made the change related to the baby and then have her blame it on the baby. I’m sure there’s plenty of stuff she can blame on the baby w/out us adding to it. She’s not completely potty trained yet so we can’t put her a preschool yet.
I found a “school” by the house that I really like. But it’s not as structured as a true preschool. In a lot of respects it’s not much different from what she’s in now. It’s bigger (it’s not shiny and new, but it’s close), the student/teacher ratios are really good, they have these cool science, music, art, etc…programs, they feed them (I think that’s a big plus—currently we have parents who send their kids w/donuts for breakfast. Don’t get me wrong; donuts are ok once in a while. But this is what that kid has every Friday for breakfast and it’s not like a party so the other kids get some. It’s not even Krispy Kreme for Christ Sake!) But they don’t do the preschool stuff till age 4 (pre-K). Because she’s mixed w/the bigger kids at this current school she is getting some of that now. So I’m feeling really unsure about it. I ended up going to see a couple other schools to see if this is the norm, (the pre-K thing) and it is. I’m torn. Should I wait and keep her where she is until say September? Should I move her and make my commute easier? Am I potentially limiting her education potential so I can have better commute??? I really only want to make this move once. I don’t want to move her now and then move her again in September. Am I worrying about a non-issue? ACK! I need a mocha.

New Year's Resolution --late but that means I haven't broken it yet either.

Just found out the hubby has Monday off too. (God, this job of his is awfully good, I keep waiting for the down side to it.) I emailed him to see if he wants to do something since we both have the day off. I know everyone under the sun will probably be out w/their kids doing the same thing, but it might be nice to do the “family thing” for a change. With the move, remodel and holidays we really haven’t taken the time to do anything like that in a while.
SOOO, I suggested SF Zoo. Got on their website and am now all excited at the prospect of taking Toddlerspeak (TS) to go see it. She’s been to a couple Zoos before; a local petting zoo (she’s actually scared to feed the animals herself) which has been there since I was a kid. It’s ok, but it’s a petting zoo and it's kinda old, etc... And we took her to the Topeka Zoo when visiting the outlaws last Thanksgiving (2003). They were thrilled to get to take her, and very high on their local zoo. (They had apparently been involved w/fundraising & such to help get a lion exhibit going in the 80s.) Honestly, it was pretty depressing. I’m not huge on “caged” animals to begin with, and since there was snow on the ground (remind me again why we were at an outdoor venue in November, IN THE MIDWEST????) It as so cold that the animals were mostly hanging out in this one big building (and it wasn't really all that big). Basically they were each in a kind of kennel and it was really kind of sad (think giraffe in kennel, need I say more?). But the worst part was the crazy lion at the lion exhibit. She just kept pacing by the fence. Even the kids could tell she was off her rocker. Very depressing (as if Topeka isn’t depressing enough on it’s own, but that's another story for another time).
Hopefully the SF Zoo will be in better shape. And even if the weather sucks, the animals are still outside in an area the feels like an open space.

I started thinking about what else we could do to go be local tourists and came up w/a New Year's resolution. "We need to be local tourists at least once a month. " A couple years ago we made a similar resolution to go to the beach at least once a month (Daddyspeak’s family owns a home on the beach which is approximately 20 minutes from us.) And it worked out really well. We really enjoyed the place, and we need to get back into that groove too.

The Way It Seems to Go Around Here...

So I’m all excited to show Toddlerspeak (TS) her room. She comes in the house all excited to see me. Lots of hugs & kisses. We go into her room and she takes one look at it and literally bursts into tears! She was so upset that we couldn’t understand anything she was saying (which probably isn’t saying much, the kid is in speech therapy.) After about 10 minutes of blubbering and 5+ tissues we finally got it, “she wanted to paint it mommy!” Only it came out “pain it.” Considering her reaction it somehow seems appropriate.

I also screwed up reading my calendar and I’m not supposed to meet my friend for dinner until till next week. (So I could've picked up TS from G'mas) Nice, huh? I guess I should be glad I realized it this afternoon, instead of while waiting at the table by myself for half an hour. The kind of night I’m having I guess.

I'm going to have a mocha & a chocolate brownie cookie, I think I need it.

Bi-Polar or Pregnant?

Maybe I am bi-polar or something. Yesterday’s emotions were such a roller coaster ride I’m starting to think it’s more serious then just pregnancy.

The UPS
Most of the day I was borderline tears (often not borderline) over the whole dog thing. (I’ll tell you more about that in a minute.) I made the mistake of bringing it up to my mother (not the most sympathetic of people,) “it’s only a dog”. Yeah, I’m only your daughter that doesn’t seem to stop you form making me feel like crap. Anyway, in that conversation I asked if Toddlerspeak (TS) could spend the night. I was going to dinner with a friend the next day after work and that way Daddyspeak (DS) & I could switch cars in the morning (we only have one car seat) instead of having to work it out during the day. G’ma said ok. So that meant I had the evening off! I knew exactly what I was going to do with the time; paint TS’s room! In our old house she had the cutest room on earth!


I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do in her room when we first moved in, so I just had it painted yellow. Yellow-we (TS and I) are pink girls, so yellow wasn’t going to cut it, but I figured this way I could do pink accents. I finally decided I wanted it to have these scallops painted on the top border, but now we were moved in and I needed a window when TS wasn’t going to be around to help. It came out so good! I can’t hardly stand it! While doing this I was be-bopping around the room, so pleased with how it was coming out. (That was about half way through).


The DOWNS
But at 11 last night, w/my hands falling asleep from the position they were in while painting, I was losing steam. So then I got frustrated that DS won’t help at all with this kind of thing. Cause if he was helping I'd be done, and then my neck, and stomach and hands wouldn't be hurting and yes, I know I'm sounding very hormal, but this is what was going through my mind at the time. I could’ve really used his help moving everything (furniture) around. I am 5.5 months pregnant you know.

Then, for some unknown reason I checked my email before I went to bed. There was a message about the dog. They will help us find a home for him. But we’d have to foster him and the dogs they currently have like this have been listed since last JULY! I can’t put myself through this for the next 6+ months. So I burst into tears again.

I slept like crap and woke up w/a neck and headache. Go Figure.

Heavenly update

I posted the last entry and TS started to cry. She'd bumped her head on the headboard--very enthusiastic singing. She had obviously pooped her pants too. So that was the end of her nap. And NO, I did not go purchase a lottery ticket. (But continued to be pretty adorable for most of the rest of the afternoon & evening.)

My little slice of Heaven

In the life of toddlerdom most days do not pan out as being either really good or really bad. (Well, maybe on the really bad side.) But much like puberty they seem to swing back & forth from moment to moment, usually from one extreme to the other. Not a huge amount of grey area going on here. So, I’m sure I’m jinxing it by mentioning it in the middle of the day before the day is over, (when she’s not napping—I can hear her singing in fact,) but today was a rare great day.

Toddlerspeak (TS) and I started out the morning w/speech therapy (for her. I know my spelling and grammar suck, but they typically don’t send adults to speech therapy for it. They figure we’re lost causes by this point.) We were early, yes I said early. So early that I ended up driving past the building and going to the bank to make a deposit because I had the time. And we still sat in the waiting room for 15 minutes. (This has never happened before, and probably won’t ever happen again.) What this means is that TS got up, ate breakfast & got dressed in a relatively cooperative manner before we ever got out the door. After speech (which she did great in) we went to get a badly needed haircut. (Her again, not me. I need one, but I get mine from a salon thank you very much. I have hair issues. It’ll come up at some point, don’t worry.) Anyway, she was super good and the lady at the shop gave her a crappy little makeup kit for being so damn good. I’m pleased she was so well behaved. I’m not excited my daughter has been given lip gloss from China. I’m sure it’s toxic. She was thrilled, of course.

Then we went to the shoe store to get her new shoes. The kid’s feet grow so fast they may actually be setting some records. She also has EXTRA WIDE feet, so no cheapy Target shoes for her (they don’t carry wide, much less EXTRA WIDE). No, we have to pony up for the $40+ brand names (Stride Rite, Teva, Jumping Jacks, Merrell, North Face, etc..) at a specialty store. Yes, TS has more expensive shoes then her mommy. Easily more expensive, as I’ve taken to shopping at Target & Payless Shoe Source when I do buy shoes. And from the sorry state most of my shoes are in, I obviously don’t do this very often.

After that, even though it was lunch time I went to two more stores in the mall (opposite end of course) and made some exchanges. And she was like Miss Happy the whole time! She was saying “Hi!” to everyone and dancing around in her stroller. (She was staying in her stroller!) So I completely pushed my luck (let's face it, there’s nothing like watching a 2-year old have meltdown in a restaurant because her mother waited a bit too long to feed her and now she just can’t deal cause her blood sugar is low,) and took her to Fresh Choice for lunch. She was a complete ANGEL! She ate all of her lunch (and some of mine). She sat in the booth and be-bopped to the overhead muzak while she ate. And then she went potty in the bathroom (rather then her pants). When we got home she went down for her nap (which she is currently not taking) without a peep of protest. It was the kind of day you wish for when you’re the mom of a toddler. You actually got some things accomplished without having to kill your child in the process. I think I need to go buy a lottery ticket.

Weekend Update

While this weekend didn’t suck totally, it did suck some. I’m in a bitchy, crumby mood, and I’m pissed at DaddySpeak (DS) in a major way. He spent the entire day helping a friend drywall his garage and hasn’t really done anything about getting our fence fixed. Thus, it will now be I once again, who has to deal with this shit. I just get tired of feeling like I’m doing it alone a lot of the time (I know, bitch, bitch, bitch…)

I wrote to a dog rescue group about the Mowry predicament. I asked for their opinion about moving forward. "Should we pursue a trainer even though we aren’t really the best family for him? Aren’t we just prolonging the inevitable?" I haven’t heard back about it and I’m completely frustrated by the whole situation. I wish there was an easy answer. I wish he would quit doing stuff (like trashing parts of the yard) to make it any harder (or eaiser depending on how you look at it).

I took ToddlerSpeak (TS) to the Farmer’s Market w/a friend (H) today. Since its January I guessed that the place wouldn’t be too crowded & I let her take Pink Dolly w/the baby carrier and stroller. She thought she was the BOMB! Luckily, the crowd was on the thin side & most people thought she was adorable instead of annoying. I think she really only ran into like one person. Once she got going anything we bought had to go into her basket under her stroller. She was quite pleased with herself. Afterward, H let her help arrange some flowers she’d bought into a vase. TS was hilarious, every flower had to have a specific place to be in the arrangement. If it wasn’t just right she’d take it out & fix it. Can you say OCD? She was very cute, but I will never again be able to just put flowers in a vase now. H noted, "I can see how everything takes much longer these days." You think?

Ok, I guess I’ve ignored DS long enough. He’ll start to forget I’m pissed if I don’t go pout in front of him.

Excitement central here

Yesterday just continually sucked. All day. Right after I wrote the last post I got an email that one of the babies in the mom’s group I’m a big sis for died from SIDS the night before. I burst into tears upon reading it. I didn’t know the girl (or baby) well. And I know it’s a tragedy, but I don’t think I would’ve reacted so strongly if I wasn’t already worked up over the idea of giving my dog up and being 5.5 months pregnant. I’m a bit hormonal. You think? The rest of my day was pretty much shot to hell. I kept getting all teary at inappropriate times. (Luckily next to no one was at work.) When I picked up Toddlerspeak (TS) from daycare I ended up being cranky & short w/ her, which made me feel even worse. Of course, when something like this happens you want to run to your kids and hug them. So what do I do? I snap at her. What can I say, I’m on a roll. I’m blaming it on hormones too. (That’s what you can tell your therapist later in life sweetie!) I was so emotionally wiped out that I fell asleep at 7:30 last night.

This morning TS woke up w/her first real bad dream. (First one bad enough so that she wouldn’t put herself back to sleep and I actually had to haul my arce out of bed to comfort her. Funny how Daddyspeak (DS) always manages to sleep through these types of things.) Should I mark this in her baby book? Her rain boots were in the middle of her room (there was parade just before bed you know.) She told me they bit her and she wanted them in her closet. So I put them away. Then she wanted out of bed, so we sat in the rocking chair in her room and she informed me that her bookcase & her “pink baby” (favorite doll, and also the name she feels we should give her little sister) bit her in her dream too. Hmmmm…I’m getting the impression someone at daycare is having a biting issue. Could just be me, but hey I’m kinda physic like that. She doesn’t have any marks & when I asked her point blank she said yes someone was biting, but prompting for details results in a game. So we’ll see. I have already given her a big lecture on not biting & ramifications if she does. She such a rule-follower, hopefully this kid will steer clear of her, because I’m pretty sure she won’t bite back (which is what I’ll do if the terror lays one tooth on my kid). She wasn’t going back to bed so we’ve been up since 6 AM—which is the freaking middle of the night in my book (on a Saturday).

Right now I’m listening to her not napping. We have a 1st b-day party to go to this afternoon (during her usual naptime.) No nap, coupled w/being up since the crack of dawn should make for a great time I’m sure (don’t forget to throw in the sugar buzz & resulting hangover to make it real fun!) The other big excitement for today (I said I was going to write more about my kid—won’t you be so glad now.) We’ve had 3 accidents (a particularly offensive one was cleaned by DS –karma; for sleeping through the whole bad dream thing I’m sure). And I’m having dizzy spells, so I’ve been particularly ineffective today. Excitement central here.

Our Dog's Life

I mentioned that we have two dogs in my "about" section. (We have two cats too, but that's a different story.) We didn’t set out to have two dogs, it just sort of happened.

MERIT (April 2001) (Merit was born sometime in September 1999, so she’s currently 6.)

I started w/Merit. I worked at an ad company at the time and they had a dog policy. I know, most companies have a dog policy, which is “don't bring them to work”. Our policy was to bring them on in. I had bought a condo w/a small yard the year before and felt that if I could bring the animal to work with me then it wasn't irresponsible to get a medium sized dog. Merit is a border collie/beagle mix (at least that’s the info we got on her). She’s super socialized and we dubbed her “The Princess”. She’s smart enough to understand her boundaries and just how close she can get to crossing them. She’s spoiled and knows it. And in most respects she’s really my first baby. I adopted her about a month before DS and I got engaged. I asked him to go with me when I went to the shelter, but he declined and a good friend from work (who is a dog person) went with me. I remember my friend was like, “How can you just go pick a dog out like that?” He felt you needed to research the breed, etc…I agree to a point. But I also remember telling him, “If my dog is there, she’ll pick me.” (I knew I wanted a female.) He thought I was so weird. But I was right. We saw Merit and took her into the greeting yard. My friend & I sat on this bench they had there. She came over to me and stood there wagging her tail, like asking permission to greet me. I patted my chest, like come on up and she promptly put both paws on my shoulders and nuzzled my neck. Basically she gave me a doggie hug. I know now that that she’s actually pretty stingy w/the dog hugs, so I was right. She let me know I was hers. A family who said she was too hyper had brought her to the shelter, but really she just had puppy energy issues. She loved coming to work with me and it was a very rude awakening for her and I when I had to change jobs and no longer got to bring her.

MOWRY (October 2002) (Mowry was born sometime in March 2002. He is currently 3.)
So a year and a half later, my brother’s family gets a dog. His wife (who really hasn’t owned a dog before) wants a “puppy that will be a big dog.” Having had a Lab growing up we (my family) all told her she was loony, but she insisted. They got a Lab/Border Collie mix and named him Mowry. He was about 6 months old. He promptly dug up their yard and chewed up bunch of lawn furniture. My SIL freaked out. A lot of Mowry’s issue at that time was puppy stuff and being a Lab mix meant he had a lot of energy to do it with. Merit and he had had a couple of play dates and got along pretty well. So when it became apparent that they were not going to keep this dog we told them to bring him over. We figured we’d foster him and contact a local rescue group to help find him a home. (We would now be his fourth home in his first year of life.) We immediately enrolled him in obedience school and thought, if we can get him trained like Merit it would be a great for them to have each other (since we both have to work during the day). And Mowry has made great progress. But he has issues.

MOWRY’S ISSUES
He’s a chronic barker. We finally had to get him an electronic bark collar. Not the basic kind you get at Petco or something either. We had to graduate to hunting one (which is serious, trust me). I don’t need to hear the debate on this one. I’m not a huge proponent of them, but we had literally tried everything else leading up to this. We were down to either this, debarking (which I think less of) or getting rid of him. There are a handful of animals that these are appropriate for and he is one of them. He will literally stand in the middle of the yard and bark at nothing for HOURS. He did it two weeks ago when the battery died on his collar. I thought I was going to have nervous breakdown. Our old neighbors had us cited over this, so we had to do something.

He used to be a chewer, and digger, but (knock on wood) he seems to have outgrown these behaviors. His other big issue is that he won’t be confined. (Something they tell you to do with chronic barkers.) First, he broke out the front of an airplane crate (he was crate trained at one time). He broke the lock on it and then bent the wiring. My husband fixed it with rebar. So the dog chewed out the plastic in the back of it. (Have you seen the plastic on these things—this was no small feat. I would not have believed an animal could’ve done this if I hadn’t seen it.) His mouth was a bloody mess. I felt so bad that he felt so panicked that way. That was the end of crating him. We’ve build “dog-runs” in both of our yards (we just moved to a new house in November). But it turns out Mowry can jump the gates on these. He seems content to stay in the main yard for now (but based on past experience I’m not counting on that lasting). Needless, we are feeling very at the end of our rope on this one. There are a bunch of other smaller issues. This post is already so long I’m not going to go through them, but they’re notable in the fact that make us realize that Mowry’s real issue is severe separation anxiety. We had a discussion last night about finally calling that rescue group to have him placed with another family. I pulled up info on it today and turned into a basket case over it. I just feel like no one else will put this kind of effort into him and he’s going to end up being put down. He’s only 3 and he’s not a bad dog, he just needs a lot of attention. I don’t think we’re really the right family for him, we work and can’t exercise him enough. We’re about to have another kid and he doesn’t deal well with these types of transitions. But if we’re willing to put in the money and effort does that make us the right family? We understand our limitations, and the reality is that we have them—are we the right family for him? Is it fair to us (as a family) to constantly be dealing with this stuff? (The neighbors, fixing fences, etc…) I know we took him on and I’m not complaining, but it does create an additional level of stress on our family and it’s not far to the family either.

It’s so hard to know what to do. I really think he belongs with a family who has a significant yard, (like out in the country,) a SAHM and preferably has a couple of boys ages 8-12 who will help keep him occupied and tire him out regularly. But this family would have to be really committed to him. Moving him to another family will make his anxiety worse for some time. That’s what scares me. I just don’t know what do to about it anymore.

Bitch, Bitch, Bitch...You say it like it's a bad thing

Ok, so far I've done nothing but bitch on this. Very compelling I’m sure. And it’s a “mommy blog” and I haven’t yet written or posted anything about my kid. Hey, I’m on a roll. I guess I should preface this by saying that

1) I think this is my new version of therapy (and it’s much cheaper then the real thing—I know,) so I don’t have to write about my kid(s) every day. Don’t worry I’ll bitch about them too.
2) I picked the name ‘mommy speak’ because I wasn’t sure what else to call this damn thing—anything else I was coming up with was either going to give out our names or at least be fairly obvious and it seemed like all the good names were already taken. I’m sure I’ll come up with several now that I’ve actually picked one.
3) I’m sure there will be amble postings of my DD (or daughters as the case will soon be) so don’t sweat it.
4) I’m 5 months pregnant & kinda cranky, need I say more?

So I guess I’ll post a pix of TS (toddlerspeak) to get the ball rolling on this one. This is the pix we used for our X-mas Cards that I amazingly got out. It was amazing for a couple reasons:

1) I got the kid to dress in something Christmas-y, stand in front a X-mas tree and smile all at the same time. And
2) we moved into this house the weekend before Thanksgiving, the fact that I knew where the camera was, much less that I actually sent out X-mas cards is a X-mas miracle in itself.

And I managed to not have any moving boxes in the pix too! I'm amazing.

Is TV God?

Ok, here's my rant. I hate it when college is playing. DS is a "big fan" and he disappears whenever a game is on. It doesn't really matter who is on either. I mean he has his teams for sure, but if there's a college game on you're hard pressed to get him away from the TV. (Football or basketball.) You'd never know we own a TiVO the way he acts over it. It drives me nuts! I'm all for watching the game. I was a huge Sharks fan (I still am I just don't seem to have to time to watch them so much anymore. I has season tickets for 10 years--pre-kids obviously.) And he has to watch them so freaking LOUDLY! Like he needs to help the neighbors out or something. What bugs me so much is how all consuming it becomes & how nothing else matters. We get a couple hours every night w/TS before she goes to bed. He sits down to play with her after dinner and the phone rings; it's his dad to tell him something about the game. He tells his dad he's TiVOing it and not to tell him. But he never comes back into the room! He goes & starts the game & that was the end of it. He couldn't wait another half an hour so he could actually spend some time w/his daughter???? The only reason he said more then two words to her tonight was because it was his night to put her to bed (we take turns or it becomes an issue.) He assures me I'm lucky, that I have no idea how bad he could be. Jeez, how lucky I am.

Back to the Grind--and not the Starbucks kind either

Had to go back to work today after a week off. That sucked. Don't get me wrong, my job is ok, but it is just a job. (Ironically I work on web pages all day, but that's about as much as I'm going to say about it now.) And I'd much rather be at home any time. There was once a time when work was a "real job", I worked in MarCom (marketing communications--advertising, PR, tradeshows...) and traveled A LOT. Internationally and domestic. It was cool. I saw some really, really cool places, I learned to travel alone (and how much fun that can be, cause you meet so many fun people that way.) I racked up frequent flyer miles and knew the drill to get the good seats on the plane (including how to get myself bumped up to business everytime.) I partied a lot and made a ridiculous amount of money doing it. But I got burned out, and then I met someone and decided I'd rather stay closer to home. I do like being home (and having one) better, at least at this point in my life. But I can't say there isn't a part of me that doesn't miss it. And there's so many places I haven't been yet; South America (minus parts of Mexico), Bali, Austraila, AFRICA! (we were supposed to go to Africa the year we got pregnant w/(ToddlerSpeak) TS, opps, kinda screwed that up!)....Course all my travel was pre-9/11 maybe I wouldn't enjoy so much travel now. It's a whole new world now right? And I'm pretty addicted to Starbucks now too, so maybe it wouldn't be as much fun. (Not the coffee, it's all about the vente, decaf, single-shot, non-fat, no-whip mochas! Obviously, I don't like coffee all that much, if I did I'd drink Peet's, but that's a story for another day.) Just trying to make myself feel better. I work a crappy little job, making next to no money so I can have PT hours and great benefits (it's a govenment job). So that's the trade off I guess. We can have the SAH debate on another day.

Actually, the big excitement for today is that I had my monthy check up. Baby (BS) is doing well, but I'm still not really gaining weight. I've gained 2 lbs now. It's super weird because I had gained like 15-20 by now w/TS. I had an amnio last month & BS measured to the date, so I'm not worried about it. I still had 15 lbs to lose from TS, so I'm actually pretty pleased about it. But today my Dr. told me I need to start eating. "I am eating." "No, I mean you need to start adding snacks or something." I had to laugh. It's random to be a chick in this generation and be told you need to gain weight. To eat snacks! I know in a month or two I'll look back at this & cringe cause I'll take her up on it and eat those snacks, and instead of going to the baby it'll go right to my fat arce.

I feel a bit like I'm the only person on earth who doesn't have a blog going. A few months ago I stumbled upon a very funny one which in turn led to reading another, etc...So now I have like 20 I read and I'm starting to feel a bit left out. I have contemplated a lot about doing this, I don't want to list real names, specific places, etc...there's a lot of perves out there you know. But I do think it would be a great outlet for me and maybe even a nice record for my kids someday and who knows maybe you'll even get a good laugh out of the chois that is my life. So I figured it's a new year, why not? I'll probably be the only one who reads it, but that's ok. (I'm not telling any of my friends or family about it yet, I'm sure I will manage to piss them off in very short order.) So if you're reading this welcome and hopefully we be getting to know each other better very soon here.