Life, it is plotting against me.

Hi Internet,

I'm here, I haven't forgotten you I'm just having a really rough time of it these days. The outcome from meeting w/the surgeon is that I'm basically going to end up having surgery it's just a matter of when; you know, when I can't stand the pain any longer. The recommendation is for a microdiscectomy which, in light of what it could be, is probably the best I could've hoped for. This doctor does want you to stay overnight in the hospital (to make sure there's no unforeseen complications) but most do the surgery as an outpatient procedure, so that should tell you something right there. The worst part (at least it seems like it from here) is the recovery; where I'm down on my back for several weeks (like 6). No nothing for a full week, no driving for over 2 weeks, no house cleaning/picking up kids, etc....for the next 6 or so. I would need some help to say the least. On top of this, my mom has a torn miniscus, so she needs to have surgery and won't be able to help me until she's resolved that issue. In the meantime, I'm still trying not to take my pain pills unless absolutely necessary, and when there's another adult present, but these last couple weeks have shown the other adult option is negociable; the pain has gotten pretty bad at times. I need to get a second opinion and then assuming it's going to be this surgery figure out how and when we can pull this off. I don't know how the heck I'm going to be able to just turn it all off for that length of time. I'm freaking out about it when I think about it for too long so moving on....

To add to the fun LittleSpeak has been sick this last week (BigSpeak the week before, now she just has the rotten cold part). LS has been getting up no later than 5 AM for over week now. She comes in our room at that time w/a fever, so I give her tylenol & put her in bed with us to go back to sleep; only not much sleep is happening for me after that point. Her fever then goes again until is shows up at 5 AM again the next day. Weird. Yesterday was the first morning when she did not have a fever, but she's apparently decided she likes this wake up time and getting into bed to "play" w/mama. Mama is not enjoying this so we are "crying it out" (CIO) if earlier than 5 AM (has happened), DaddySpeak has to get up to do the CIO as my back is already shot from all the lifting of her I'm doing during the day. I'm hopeful, but not that optimistic, that she will go back to sleeping later than this, I need life to cut me a break somewhere!

I did go visit my primary care physican to discuss my weight loss, BP, etc....I can tell she just thinks I'm not eatting as much as I think I am, but is running some blood tests to see if anything pops up. BTW, my BP that day was 86/60, so the lowness of it doesn't seem to be a fluke.

I'm trying to maintain a "normal" life in the midst of this; BigSpeak is going to start Daisy Scouts next week, I'm working in her classroom, walking her to and from school everyday, gymnastics on Tuesdays for BS and Wednesdays for LS. There are a lot of days when I walk BS to school and then come crash on the couch w/my feet up and either get LS to let me read to her or play pretend with her until it's time to walk to pick up BS. It's very, very frustrating to say the least. Hopefully, I will start to get more rest this week and then can get back to my regularly scheduled posting, hahahahahahaha.