To The Winner - The Spoils

I told my husband, if he keeps bringing it up, he's taunting me into writing about it. It's already taking on epic proportions that will be an ongoing private joke between us.

Last night around 9:30ish, I was downstairs on my computer, editing photos, and skimming some rerun. He'd gone upstairs about 9 to take a shower before going to bed. I could hear him walking around, opening windows, etc...usual bedtime routine stuff. All the sudden, he comes racing down the stairs calling the dog. Poor Merit, was sound asleep next to me. She jumped up and was running to the front door barking before she was completely awake. You could see she was perplexed from the look on her face. Daddy was calling for her, so she was on it! He sent her out front barking. I assumed there must be two cats out front fighting or a raccoon or something. (He wouldn't send my preshus babah out after bad guys who could hurt her, right? Though, that might be better than a flea infested rat. Gah!) He called her right back in and closed the door.
"What's going on?"
"Teenagers!"
???
"There was a group of teenagers coming down the street w/toilet paper. They were going to TP L's house!" (Next door's teenage daughter.)
blank stare
???
"So I sent the dog after them."
"To lick them? Why did you stop them?"
"Well they weren't even being that stealthy about it. They have to at least try!"
??? "Did you tell them to get off your lawn too? What are you 80?"
Only now he was gone & out the front door again. A few minutes later he walks back in w/4-5 rolls of partially used TP.
"To the winner goes the spoils!"
"Wha?? What are you going to do w/that??"

That settles it, I'm buying him a cane, so he can raise it up and wave it at the kids as he tells them he'll keep any of the balls that land on his lawn.