Obama Goes Back To School

Apparently President Obama is going to speak specifically to our children next week. He's going to televise this so that the kids can watch it live, and the White House has provided "talking points," if you will, for the classroom. The suggestions were,

for pre-K through grade 6 suggests questions students think about during the speech, such as "What is the President trying to tell me? What is the President asking me to do?"

for grades 7-12 a "guided discussion," with suggested topics: "What resonated with you from President Obama's speech? What is President Obama inspiring you to do?"

Conservatives are all a dither over him "speaking directly to our children" and "brainwashing them."

My understanding is that basically President Obama is going to talk about how important education is, and why kids need to stay in school. So knowing that,

Seriously folks? You really think President Obama is going to "brainwash" your children about what? Healthcare? The War in Iraq? Going to college? The humanity! Your kids might actually be inspired to do well in school & get a higher education!

I can't imagine what you think he's going to say to our kids that will suddenly turn them into flaming liberals. I actually had to look up the article to find out what the fuss was about. I thought for sure he must be talking about some controversial topic. I believe the "talking points" are basically to help make sure the kids are paying attention. It's no big secret that the kids like to screw around in class when the TV goes on. I'm pretty sure there isn't any indoctrination into "liberal" politics that will take place. It's noted in the news article, that Reagan, and George H. Bush both addressed students when in office. Which means!?! that I was addressed when in school. And guess what?? I'm an Obama girl. Obviously, it didn't hurt me. I turned out OK, or at least more or less the same. I wasn't a fan of President Reagan when in office (I actually didn't speak to my dad for a week after voting for him the second time) and I wasn't a fan of him after he (Reagan) spoke to me and my peers either. Actually, I don't remember it, so there you go.

As a parent, part of my job is to teach my children what I think is right and wrong. If you don't agree with the President's policies it's your job to teach your children what you do believe and why. While I don't think our President is going to say anything that will need refuting on any level, I think it's good for our kids to get different views on different topics. It helps them develop into critical thinkers. You know, well rounded individuals who can take in multiple viewpoints on topics and then develop a well thought out opinion. I'm crazy like that, wanting my kids to grow up to be smart and all.

I think our kids are all going to be OK.

Can I just say that I know several of you are "conservative". I hope this doesn't offend you and prevent you from coming back to read more (since I don't usually get on my big ol' political soapbox anyway). Most of my family is very conservative, thus my sarcastic tone. ;) Here's the thing, I'm topic by topic and when you add it all up I usually come out on the side of: Common Sense. If you don't like what I had to say, tell me (respectfully). And we can agree to disagree, just so long as we can all go get Starbucks later, okay?

I'm Cruzin--another (Not So) Wordless Wednesday

In light of recent events, it seems appropriate to show off what I'm driving right now.

No, we did not get a new car (yet). In a weird quirk of fate, I was offered the opportunity to test drive the Lincoln MKT for several days. It just worked out that we were able to take advantage right after our other car went into the shop. Still waiting to hear about the other car BTW. (Current fix it cost is $12K & potentially rising, Insurance is reviewing at this point to determine if it will be fixed or scrapped.) I'm actually pretty excited about it. I don't know what I expected (Towncar) but it was not this, that's for sure. The girls, especially Little, are beyond the moon over it. Got to do a little driving in it this afternoon, but will be minus the girls tomorrow for part of the day when I can really play with it.



All I need now are my gold rimz & rhinestone grill & I'll be chill!

The Law & Breastfeeding

What is it about breastfeeding (BF) that seems to freak conservatives out? Now, before you get your panties in a bunch, by conservative I mean people who are conservative in nature or modest. I don't mean that by identifying w/the Republican party you are automatically conservative in your thinking toward BF.

The Ohio Supreme Court just upheld a case in which a woman was terminated for taking unscheduled breaks from work to pump. Umm, which century are we in here folks?

I guess my question to the Supreme Court of Ohio is, "Would you have found the same result if the person was taking these breaks for going to the bathroom?" "What if this person had a medical reason/need to take more than the average person? (Like a small bladder?) My guess is that it wouldn't have made it to the Supreme Court, but that a medical reason would deem that a resulting termination was discrimination of a person's handicap and would be deemed illegal. (In this case, a small bladder.) They also determined that it wasn't gender or pregnancy discrimination because the woman had continued to "choose" to BF 5 months postpartum and after a period of time, lactation is a condition of breastfeeding not pregnancy. Really???? How many men do you know who lactate? It just doesn't make sense. I want to throttle these people. Seriously. The stupidity behind this ruling floors me.

I BF both my kids. My second child had all kinds of health problems and couldn't eat anything, BUT breast milk. AND as a lactating mother, I didn't have leakage issues, which are bad enough, but I had engorgement issues. Engorgement is painful and can cause mastitis which is awful at best. Honestly, I'm currently wishing a flaming case of mastitis on each of the justices right now. If you start to become engorged & don't pump to relieve it you can cause all kinds of additional health issues.

One thing for sure, I will NOT be purchasing products from Totes/Isotoner any longer. If you know of any other ways we can help to get this changed and prevent it from becoming law in other states, please let me know. I'm so fired up over this one, I can't tell you. I don't understand how this kind of thinking has made it into this century. I believe my 6 year old could have told you that this ruling was a form of gender/pregnancy discrimination. Of course, my 6 year old was breast fed and we all know those kids are smarter.

The Flip Side or Daddy got a little Junk in his Trunk (specifically a Chevy S-10)

So the flip side of last Friday's post is that we are down a car now.

Friday was a really weird day.

Thursday night was one of Little's all nighters. Where she gets up every couple hours & wants to come to bed w/us & throws tantrums, All. Night. Long. I got about 2 hours of sleep (I wish that was an exaggeration) and not all at one shot. So Friday morning started out a bit less than stellar. I was so tired I was nauseous. Big, after her first full week of school, was understandably ready for the weekend, and less than helpful that morning. Grumpy was the the keyword that morning. Little, was of course, chipper and on her game. I was dreading my day. Oh yeah, our toilet was broken & I had "Lake Speak" going on in the girls bathroom too. Five beach towels later... In the middle of the morning chaos Daddy called. He wanted me to get online & find out what was going on by his work. The exits were all closed from the freeway. Gah! Really dude? I'm kinda in the middle of something. Hearing the screaming & fusing in my background he told me, no rush, but he was considering coming home. *Que sound of tires screeching* Umm, what do I have to do to get you home? Found out there was a hazmat situation near his work and the whole area was closed for the day. Woo! (Obviously not Woo! for the company & people this affected negatively. But Woo for a nap for me, OK?) Three day weekend for him! And zomg! I can get a nap in to make up for the night before.

So he got home not too long after I got Big off to school. And he and Little set off an a Daddy/Daughter day. They went to the library & then to a posh outdoor mall, where they had lunch together. It sounded like they both had a blast. AND I took a 3 hour nap! Obviously I needed it. It was hotter than hot here on Friday & while the girls wanted to spend the afternoon swimming I vetoed in favor of laying low till Big's soccer practice. (100 degree heat does not result in a canceled practice.) About an hour before practice Daddy declared he needed another part for the bathroom (he'd been working on it all afternoon) and would be right back. Normally, Little is ALWAYS on any trip to the hardware store. To say the child loves Home Depot would not begin to describe her feelings. But Daddy was going to a local store instead of Home Depot for a change. She debated, but ended up deciding to hang w/Mommy & Sissy for one more episode of Wonder Pets.
Thank God for Wonder Pets.

About 20 minutes later the phone rings.
Daddy: "I'm OK, but I've been in a bit of a fender bender."
Mommy: "OoooK"
Daddy: "Cops are making a report, so probably not going to make it back in time for Big to get to practice & I have Little's car seat." (Meaning I can't drive, because I don't have a car seat for Little.)
Mommy: "Crap! OK, let me go so I can find a carpool for Big."

No problem. Got a ride for Big. Another hour and Daddy walks in. I go out to see the car.
OH. MY. GOD!

"That is not what I would call a fender bender. Are you OK?"

He's fine. But THANK GOD Little didn't go with him.

It was a 3 car accident. Car in front of him stopped suddenly, so he had to slam on his breaks. No problem, for him. Not so much for car behind him. Suddenly the Chevy S-10 behind him had joined him in his back seat. The truck pushed him into the car in front of him. No obvious damage to the front of his car, but sometimes you can't tell. The back of the car was a different story. The Chevy smashed the trunk of our car, popping and pushing the lid into the back window. It hit hard enough to shatter it. That's why it was good that Little wasn't with him. She would've been showered in glass if she'd been with him. Definitely would've involved a hospital visit, at the least. Fortunately, it (so far) has only involved car-seat replacement, rental car, towing, police reports & lots of calls w/the insurance company. Oddly, the truck was a company truck for the hardware store Daddy was headed to, the manager was driving by a few minutes after it happened & stopped to help. He insisted on a police report for his company. The upside of all of that is that everyone had insurance, there's lots of documentation, we should be completely covered and no one was hurt.

How was your weekend? ;)

Addendum: As of Monday evening, the cost is over $9k. "BUT, it's worse then they thought and are still pulling the car apart to figure out what all needs to be fixed." Also, while the front end isn't obviously damaged, they may have to remove the batteries (it's a hybrid, but Nissan, not Toyota) to weld as the rear axis frame needs to be replaced. If they have to do that, it will have to go to the dealer for that part of the repair (cha-ching). Will know more later. Keep you posted.

Ford You--Product Review

So last Friday I was invited to attend a blog event.

I know, it's like I have credibility or something. Who knew???

The sponsor was Ford & the product was the Taurus SHO. No, I'm serious. Really. They were interested in what someone like myself (a regular Jane,) thought of their new car.

Stop laughing!

So, of course, I was game to go check it out. It involved a MNO (Mom's Night Out) in The City (San Francisco) after we were done. When does that happen? Like never. And yes, I'll admit my first priority was not driving the Ford Taurus. It was more toward getting out of the house. Gasp! Having been in PR, yes, I do realize I just committed a cardinal sin. Know what? I'm not a PR/MarCom person anymore. I'm a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom). While I know the "rules" of PR & events, I think part of the point was the the people reviewing the product didn't necessarily know those rules, and therefore, gave you an honest review. So, that being said, I went w/small expectations at best.

I was floored.

I guess when you start w/the bar low (as I did) it isn't too hard to impress, but I have a couple things I should declare before I continue. Bar probably wasn't actually as "low" as I'd like to think.

My dad worked for the Ford company, (in it's various shapes, sizes and names,) while I was growing up. He wasn't in the car business, and was, in fact, one of those Silicon Valley workers who never changes their desk/location, but works for 7 different companies in 4 years. Eventually, his division became part of Loral, but for most of my life it was Ford. As a result of that, I happen to have driven a lot of Ford cars. (Go Figure.) You know those used cars that are like new? Yeah, we were one of the families who put the miles on them to make them used. Deal worked like this; we paid a monthly lease fee and Ford paid all maintenance & insurance. Go ahead and mull that one over for a minute. Yes, they paid the car insurance of a family w/two teenagers. During that time I got to drive; a convertible Mustang, (it was fire engine red too), a Capri (punishment for something I did w/the mustang), a (turbo) Taurus, (which I bent the frame on, don't ask, just don't get your teenager a turbo boost engine), an Escort & a Mustang. There may have been a few more, but those are the ones I specifically remember driving. Additionally, my folks have always owned a Ford, including a Taurus, for a long period of time. So, yeah, I probably have more than your average experience driving Ford cars.

I have to say, this was one of the nicest cars I've ever driven. (And, they didn't pay me to say that.) It's extremely posh, and has all kinds of bells and whistles. The one we drove wasn't stock, but it wasn't totally pimped out either. We were driving in San Francisco, so the fact that I enjoyed my experience is saying something. The City can be a bit stressful to drive in, one-way streets, lots of traffic, oh and those famous hills. The car drove like a charm & honestly I felt like I was in a Mercedes or a Lexus. It was smooooooth. In addition to the fact that the car was super nice, drove really smoothly and very comfortable, it was super quiet too. My family currently owns a hybrid, (not a Ford, sorry) and I thought it was one to be honest. It's not, it's got "EcoBoost™ Twin-Turbocharged Power". Ok, whatever that is. Actually, the way it was described to me is that it drives like a v8, but w/a v6 engine. (Now that I understood.) What I also understood is that it handles really well.

If you want a well researched and more complete review you might want to check out Glenna, who actually got some facts about the car and wrote things down and such. I was excited to get out of the house, so next time I'll do more than reference Glenna, (maybe, she does such a nice job, why compete?)

Bottom line, it's not a car I would've considered prior to having the opportunity to drive it. If I were in the market for a car, I'd give it more than a once over.

And driving my mini-van kinda sucks now.

First Day Follow Up

Of course, everything was fine. She was excited (we were FIRST in line, on her FIRST day of FIRST grade!) The G'parents came & walked to school w/us. This made her extra happy, made her day seem special.

Wisteria Lane lives on, but things have mellowed. She's already griping about the homework (we had to read for 20 mins tonight.) I've already started setting the "homework" schedule; you get to watch a TV show, while having a snack, then homework. I'm sure she'll complain about getting up tomorrow and it'll be like summer never happened.

First Day of First

Sigh.

Tomorrow (or more likely today, cause I writing this close to midnight) my preshus baabee is starting FIRST GRADE!!!!

She'll be in the big kid classrooms & have lunch at school, with more BIG kids. (Some of those girls are as tall as me!!!) She'll have recess and lunch at school, on the BIG playground! And she'll be gone for most of the day!...

Maybe this doesn't sound so bad.

Like most parents, I have mixed feelings over this whole thing. Sad to see summer over. Sad to mark another year older. But excited for summer to be over, so I can get some mom time occasionally. I'm excited for her to start a new year w/new experiences. I'm excited for her excitement.

The usual stuff.

It's sort of ironic that I refer to her as my baby. She's a tall kid. She's easily the height of most 2nd, if not 3rd & 4th graders. I refer to them as the BIG kids, but she actually towers over many of them. In many respects Big is still very much a little girl. That's the thing I worry about. I love that she's not growing up too fast, but I worry about her being teased or left out because of it. That has the potential to become more and more of an issue the older she gets.

I know, I know, she's 6, leave her alone, stop creating issues where there aren't any. I'm trying!

And of course, as usual here on Wisteria Lane, the cliques are already in action. This is part of why I have the fears that I do, I guess. Some of my actions this summer may have already affected her standing in social circles at school. Yes, the drama is that much in this neighborhood. I try to avoid it, but I worry that maybe my attempts at avoiding it have already not worked favorably for her. Of course, I have no way of knowing either way, so I should just move on, umm...yeah, good luck with that. I'm a mom. We worry, it's in the job description, and I'm really, really good at that part of my job. ;)

I guess as long as she's excited and doesn't know I'm worried it's all good, right?

All right, guess I should make those lunches before it's time to get up for school already.

(Not so) Wordless Wednesday--vacation version

Yes, I know you're onto me. My wordless Wednesday is just a half-assed attempt at posting. I know you see right thru it.

But you keep coming back, don't you? ;-) Well, interwebs I'm to you too! I know you think my girls are beautiful & can't get enough of them. Oh wait, that's me. Well, whatever, it's getting me back into the swing of things and that is something.
Besides, in case you haven't noticed, I can't keep my mouth shut. So once again, it's my version of (Not so) Wordless Wednesday.

I'm pretty sure I haven't posted these yet. Once again, in trying to keep up w/our travels this summer, I missed posting while we were on vacation in Disneyland. 10 days & nights in the LA area, half of which where spent at the DL Hotel & parks. This is a special gift my parents give to us whenever a grandchild turns 3. This was our 4th trip in 12 years (every 3 years, we plan so well). They take my brother's family, our family & get a suite (3 bedrooms & living room) for us all, and they get our 5 day passes too. No, they are not taking applications for adoptions, and if you're past age 3 you're out of luck anyway. So this one was Little's big trip.

Because my folks treat us to all of that, we are able to do a lot of the extra's. This time the big extra was Bibbidi, Bobbiti Boutique, aka-"Pimp my Princess". The Girls LOVED it. They do make up, hair & nails. You can do much, much more (all w/Disney prices, of course). But we brought our own dresses, crowns, shoes, etc.... (FYI--they do boys too; not as princesses, although who knows, I didn't ask. The packages we saw were for "knights" & they gelled up their hair into faux-hawks and added color & confetti. Very cute). These are pix of the girls seeing their images for the first time (they have a "reveal" at the end, of course they do).

And this third pix is of them dressed in their full princess regalia. The "castmembers" at Disney address all girls as "princess" in the park, but they really pull out the stops when the girls get done up like this; opening doors w/a flourish, bowing to them, etc...The girls eat it up. (And obviously, so do their folks.) It wasn't cheap (it was Disney, that's a given, right?) But I did feel like I got my money's worth. My girls loved the attention & I got enough pix for a scrapbook just on this subject. --Not so wordless Wednesday

Electronically Addicted

Hello, my name is Mama (No last names here).
Crowd: Hello Mama
And I'm an iphone-ic (like an alcoholic, get it?)

The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. And I am addicted to my iphone. There is no doubt about that one. My family has declared that the thing has become merged into my left hand. And it's true, I pretty much go nowhere w/out it now. I even sleep w/it next to me at night. I know I have a problem, I just admitted it to you. But if you think about it, is it my iphone I'm addicted to or is it my ability to be connected 24/7? It's a gray area in my book. Part of my addiction has it's ties in Twitter. I'm also addicted to that and Facebook. (Of course, I am) So, which is it? Twitter or iphone? And I do love being able to check my email at any given time. Not to mention my web access, Facebook, and real time traffic updates....You're getting the scope of my problem here now aren't you. I love that I can snap a quick pix of something cute the girls are doing, add the caption and upload it right then to my Facebook page. Then I shoot it off via email to the grandparents. It's so much less involved than doing that w/my regular camera (although, nothing replaces my DSLR, but that's another addiction to post about). When we're waiting in line somewhere I have downloaded free games for Little (and Big) to play, so it's become a bit of a babysitter for me (what's not to love about that?). And I've loaded some big kid games too, I like to play solitaire in bed to put myself to sleep. (What? That's pathetic? Oh, hey anything that gets me to sleep is good in my book.) We've avoided numerous traffic jams because of it; not only do I see the traffic on a Google map, but I can see a way around the traffic because it's a Google map! And I have the most awesome music app, Pandora. You type in an artist & it creates a radio station w/music based on that. And it's been spot on for me. I love it. Trust me, I could go on and on and on (obviously!)

I pink puffy heart my iphone there is no doubt about it. It is worth every penny we pay for it. And while I agree I do probably have an addiction, I'm not giving it up. (Wish I knew how to quit you. Not really.) Nope, I might have a problem, but I'm no quitter! I'm sticking w/my iphone.

Wordless Wednesday - Soccer Mom

You can call it wordless Wednesday, but I can't keep my mouth shut, so there you go.
I believe I officially have fulfilled my demographic now:

*kids - check
*minivan - check
*soccer player -check

Now, just gotta get Daddy to start watching Nascar...like that's gonna happen.

Sleep, it turns out, not so overrated

When you first have a child you expect to have many sleepless nights. It's one of those things everyone tells you about. Even though most of us are astounded at how much sleep you don't get, you do have a sense of what's coming. Later, depending on your "sleeping philosophy" (yes, there is too such a thing) when you finally decide your child needs to sleep in their own bed, in their own room, you will usually experience a similar bout of sleeplessness in your efforts. Also, sort of understood that you're going to go thru this when you choose to co-sleep. I hear the teenage years also give you a new reason to lose sleep, but we aren't at that juncture yet. I guess the point is that, I get it, when you have kids you lose out on your sleep. I just didn't expect it now.

Little background:
I have FM (Fibromyalgia). One of the major components of FM is not sleeping. I look like I'm sleeping, I just never get to any REM sleep. To say it SUCKS would not begin to do it justice. So, I am familiar with lack of sleep. I also have been very lucky in finding protocols that have been affective in treating my symptoms. I guard my sleep very closely as you might imagine.

When the girls were born, they slept in their own rooms from the first night home. I know, I'm an evil, evil woman and they will require years of therapy for it, I'm sure. Both girls, BTW, slept thru the night from day 1. Ducks Ok, so before you get your panties in a bunch over it, we still had our share of lost sleep. Both girls were also very small (for full term) and had trouble gaining weight. They fed well, they just couldn't get much in them in the beginning. Trust me I had my full share of stressful newborn stuff, and we had to set alarms so as not to miss feedings. No, the baby didn't wake us to be fed, but if we didn't wake her & missed a feeding, it was a pretty big deal. (With Big, we had to go to the doc to have her weighed every other day. She should've been back in the hospital for failure to thrive, but the doc knew I was doing everything possible to rectify it, so he gave us a pass, as long as we came in for weighs every other day to show we weren't slipping backward with her.) That being said, both my girls have been excellent sleepers from the day 1.

Little has always been an early bird, which SUCKS, cause I'm a night owl , but otherwise on the sleep front our girls have been amazing. Until....the last six months. When it comes to Little, everything is about control. So when she started giving us a hard time w/bedtime, we knew it wasn't really about being tired or not. We've gone thru the: lay w/me, need water, one more book, have to go to the bathroom, phases...it doesn't matter, she'll find an excuse to delay. Then we went thru a long, drawn out period of her getting up & us putting her back to bed. (The record was 80x in one night. Nanny Joe would've been proud.) We've gotten past all that, finally, and now she's started w/middle of the night stuff. She gets up in the middle of the night (2/3 AM,) goes to the bathroom & climbs into bed with us! At first, she'd come to my side & try to get me to pick her up. That didn't fly. Now she's sneaky and climbs in, in between us so we won't wake right up. But, Mama is a lousy sleeper, and she usually wants to snuggle up with (or kick) me. Both of those are more than enough to wake me & try to get her back into her own bed. (I won't sleep more or less, once she's in our bed.) Putting her back in her bed results in tantrum throwing; ear piercing screams, throwing herself on the ground, face as a wall of snot, the full deal. It's a minimum 1 hour deal on a good night. Most nights it goes on till it's time to get up. We put a lock on her door (so we could lock her in) but that resulted in her starting out w/the tantrum because she couldn't get out of her room to pee. We still think that's part of hte answer for now, but I sure wish she'd stop screaming.

She's deceptively cute.

On top of it, she's been running a fever off and on all week, so she's not sleeping all that great anyway. Now I have the fever (big surprise). I'm averageing 2-3 hours per night right now, and I have two very active girls, who don't nap, during the day.
I don't really expect any great solutions (other than putting some whisky in her juice at dinner). I know we're doing what we should do to resolve this and it's just a matter of being consistent. I just wanted to vent.

And to tell you, "Damn, I'm tired."

Wordless Wednesday

Not completely Wordless Wednesday....

So I dropped a bomb & disappeared for while. Your welcome. I am going to address the bomb I dropped BTW, just not today. And when I do, it'll be quick, so don't blink, you might miss it.

So, where have I been? Gonna use "wordless Wednesday" to show you:








Spent a week and a half in July at the beach!







Yes, they are only 6 & 3. And yes, they are Boogie Boarding already. I'm doomed.

Sexy Health Care Reform

In my inbox tonight I came across the current Blogher newsletter. The headline was this article:

How do we make "Health Care" as sexy as "Beer Summit"? Obama Administration asks BlogHers to help. Will you?

If you don't want to click over, the gist of it is this:

"They [the Obama Administration] aren’t paying lip service. TELL THEM WHAT YOU THINK about their health care reform plan and if you DO NOT LIKE IT give them your ideas. I’m sending your feedback directly to White House staff.

Let 'er rip!!"

Umm, Ok. I'll give you my 2cents.

I couldn't stay a lurker when I saw this one. I know it's been a while since I've posted anything. (Long story, fodder for another post at another time.) This is the topic that has drawn me back out. Below, is the comment I left. Listen, I think this is really important. The reality is that our health care system is limping along at best. It's going to change. Whether you like what you're hearing about that change or not, you should add your 2cent to this conversation too. It's the same w/voting, if you don't vote you don't get to complain. If you don't put out your opinions on this when asked, then you shouldn't complain about the result.

On this topic I had to throw in my 2 cents (I usually just lurk). I have had a long journey w/Fribromyalgia. My first severe symptoms (hospitalization required) were 22 years ago. I was finally diagnosed 8 years ago. That is a lot of experience (at a young age) w/many parts of the health care system. Now you know my credentials, so here's a couple things I'd like to throw out. Note: I don't know how to make these happen (that's the job of the people making the reforms, right?) I just know that these are things that I think need to be addressed, based on my experience.

1. Cobra: (Where do I start). I have a chronic illness, thus we sign up for the best possible health care we can get through our employers. Yet if we lose our jobs, (and it's happened,) the Cobra option requires us to stay w/the same level of coverage, while we're unemployed. I've just lost my job, I'm looking to drop my costs not add to them. It makes no sense. Upon losing your job, there should be some kind of interim wellness coverage available to the average person. I shouldn't have to choose between bankruptcy and health insurance each month. There should be some sort of coverage for people in between jobs. I shouldn't have to be completely broke to be able to get a step culture.

2. Most of us (middle class) are one severe illness away from bankruptcy. That may sound ridiculous, but it's true. Even with "good" health coverage, a severe illness can put us all in major debt if not bankruptcy. There should be some way that people can be assured that they won't lose their home because someone in their family gets sick.

3. I hear that if we "like" what we're getting at our employers then this won't affect us. We can stick w/that. What if we don't like what our employers are offering us? What if what our employers are offering us less than before? Will the government fill in the gaps for us? It should. I agree that those who's have no coverage need it. But most of us are underinsured. Please remember us too!

Ok, so go give them your 2cents too! It's important!

I'm sure there's more I could come up with, but off the top of my head here you go! My point is that while I agree that the huge amount of people who lack coverage need to get it, please don't forget about those in the middle. We have coverage, but we are hardly "covered".

Something Wicked this way comes....

I've actually been writing and not posting if you can believe it.

A few weeks ago something really awful happened to me. Something that was purposefully done by someone to me. This person was angry with me and I guess thought this was a way to retaliate. But in coming after me, this person also went after my family. They could have hurt my family very badly. (Bet that got your attention, didn't it?) What happened had no merit to it, and so it has passed. From a bystanders point, it could easily be dismissed because it was so far off base. But in the thick of it, it was awful. It was a really terrible thing to have to go through.

I've been debating about posting about it. I had to write about it while it was happening. The feelings I had were so overwhelming, so all consuming that the only way I could begin to rein them in was to write them down. Writing didn't change the feelings, but it allowed me to look at them more objectively and move on to the next appropriate emotion. And, trust me, there was a process to go through on this one.

And so there are posts that have not been published.

This was such an awful event that that I'm debating if I should post these writings or not. The "incident" is past, but this morning the remnants of it reared it ugly head a bit and made me wonder what I did to deserve all this drama. And, if I post those writings, am I inviting the drama I despise. Probably.

I'm torn, I think that it would be cathartic to a degree. And it's my blog, and I want to write about my life, right now! as it is! I want my girls to have this to look back at & know me as the person I was at this time. To hopefully understand some of the decisions I've made and why. But, I also don't want anymore drama than I've already received. So I'm still debating. Maybe when things have died down a bit more and the wounds are not so fresh. Maybe.

This One at Band Camp....

Mir over at Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda, just wrote a post about her first of many car camping trips. It reminded me of a specific adventure when I was a kid. I figured w/summer looming a camping story was appropriate, so here's the Reader's Digest version:

One time when I was 14 or so, my girl scout troop went to Disneyland & stayed at the campsites there, Vacationland! (You can't make this stuff up.) The "campsite" consisted of a field of grass. Our immediate neighbors where of the "white trash" variety. I know this because "Dad" walked around half the night cussing (loudly, of course) in his cowboy hat, tighty whiteys and (wait for it...) yes, his cowboy boots. Quite an education for us 14YOs. Finally, some poor traveler from the UK couldn't take it anymore & told him to shut up (in a very important sounding English accent). When we laughed loudly from our tents and other camper cheered & applauded, I guess he figured he was outnumbered & drank quietly after that.

Now THAT's a camping w/the public story!

SIX

Really??? SIX??? Already? Dam. It really does go by so fast.
And Big? I love you. More than you can know. You are the child who gave me the gift that is motherhood. You made us a family, so much more than a couple. You are my first and like I always tell you,
"You'll always be my baby."

Happy Birthday Big! I hope is so awesome!

Bathing Suit Season; The Mom Suit

We have been having some very, very nice weather in our parts. Reminding us that summer is (pretty much here) right around the corner. Since we went to the beach last weekend AND it was hot I had to break down & put on THE BATHING SUIT.

I may have mentioned how I've put on a few pounds since my surgery. Like THIRTY!!!! I'm not exactly pleased about this, but I've been trying to tell myself it's going to come off once I get more mobile. As with most things about me, I seem to take 5x as long for everything, so I'm still not very mobile yet. Don't get me wrong, I am getting better, I am doing more, but I'm also still lugging around an additional 30 lbs these days. AND IT SUCKS!!! Now, let me tell you how I really feel about it.

To say I HATE putting on a bathing suit wouldn't begin to describe my feelings on this subject. Being a women who was born & raised in the US, I realize I am not alone in my feelings, and that my weight really doesn't have that much to do with it. It's body image, I get that. I really do. If you look back, you'll realized my most comfortable body is when I'm pregnant & huge. I LOVE the way I look pregnant. But I wrote that post already. I'm trying very hard not to give my daughters' body image issues (at least the ones I have). I prefer to the let the media do my dirty work for me. Seriously, it's why we don't push the food issue w/them, it's why I monitor how much juice, milk & water they get, etc...I want them to be healthy and comfortable in their own skin. As women, we deserve that, and I don't know how to do that for myself, so I'm doing my best to keep my daughters from ever getting there.

And this is where the "mom suit" comes in. I swore I would never wear one, but I do. If you don't know, a mom bathing suit, usually involves a skirted bottom and a full coverage top. It's the bottom that really makes it a mom suit. Land's End has really taken the suit up a notch in the last several years and made it much more main stream. Not sure if that's good or bad, but it does put me here, at 40, wearing a bathing suit I swore I never would. (I wore bikini's when pregnant, I am woman, hear/see me roar/grow!) All I need now is some soccer playing kids, and a minivan. One out of two at least.

I know for most women the mom suit comes into play when you're pregnant. You want something to cover your ever expanding arce (and stomach). And then after you've had the baby, you want something to cover your stretch marks, cellulite and flab. Childbirth is hell, and that's not even the labor part. For me, it actually started much earlier, and for much different reasons; bikini lines. Apparently, I am descended from a long line gorillas or something. Ok, seriously, all women have to shave, down there, if they want to wear a bathing suit. We're all adults here and know that. I have very curly hair, so when my hair grows it grows in a curl, which makes me very, very prone to ingrown hairs. Suffice to say, I don't think the word HATE quite covers how I feel about the shaving thing. About 15 years ago I decided forget it & bought some board shorts to wear over my bathing suit. I wore a bikini top, so it looks "sporty." I keep telling myself that, so work w/me here. It worked pretty well until after I had a baby. Then any muscle tone I had left in my midsection disappeared. Also, I wasn't wearing something that allowed my flab to hang over my bottoms. Your welcome for the visual. So I moved to the mom suit. I did it w/the stipulation that it would be temporary, you know, once I lost the baby weight. But here we are, 6 years later still wearing it.

If you need me I'll be driving my kids to soccer practice, in my minivan while listening to NASCAR and wearing my mom suit.

Threats

Little wouldn't quit w/the disruption on the packing. You know it's all about her, so laundry, cooking dinner, packing bags, not really her thing. I finally told her that if she didn't knock it off she was going to stay home w/Daddy for the weekend and Big & I would go to the beach. That kicked her butt into gear. Finally, something worked.

Then Daddy got home, and she stuck to him like glue. He couldn't get the kid to leave him alone for two seconds. Since he's trying to load the car, she's continually getting stepped on, smashing fingers in the ice chest, you get the idea. Once the car has been opened up she is IN HER SEAT & will NOT get out. I decide maybe she's overtired & hungry, so I warm up diner for the girls so we can finished getting the car loaded up. (Sausage & Quiche, they love these things.)

She counts out loud: "One, two, three" (pops three bites of sausage in her mouth,) "One, two, three" pops three bites of quiche in her mouth, required amounts to have completed dinner in our house) and declares herself done.
I told her that was fine, she didn't have to eat anymore if she really was full, but if she didn't eat all her dinner she couldn't get a jamba juice on the way. (Bribes)

Little: "That's fine. I don't want a Jamba Juice." (hops in open car, starts putting on seatbelt, and will not get out.)

I finally realized that she was sure I was going to leave her home. She figured as long as Daddy kept telling her he was going then she was, but just to make sure she was getting in her seat & NOT getting out.

Guess it's nice to know I have some clout around here after all.

Packing

Got a few little posts to share from this weekend & such. (NO interwebs again at the beach!!! The humanity!!!)

So anywho, on Friday I'm trying to pack and I tell the girls to pick up the playroom. "No one's leaving for the beach until the house is packed & picked up!"
Big is doing her part, she gets that I don't really care how they pick it up, just that I can see the floor when it's done.
Little, on the other hand, is taking toys out when Big puts them away. In fact, she waits till Big has finished putting away, say a 100+ piece puzzle & then dumps out the box. (Lovely child.)
Big is, understandably, kinda flipping out over this.
I call Little into the kitchen and tell her she needs to help PUT AWAY. She tells me, "No." So...

Me: "You need to help our you're going to get a time out & go take a nap in your room."
Little: (hand on hip) "Fine! I'll go to my room!"

And then I died from laughing.

She's THREE (barely) and she calls my bluff every time!

Recession Era Cleaning! And other uplifting stories.

Well based on the title of my last post, this one ought to be entitled something like, "Someone Must Be Crapping Butterflies" No? My point is that it just keeps getting better round here. If you follow my twitter you may have noticed that I am now the "evil mommy." You missed that? Well, let's just say that I'm finding new uses for cleaning products all the time!

Little is still on her rampage and today started in w/the spitting again. To be honest, I don't even remember what her issue was at the time. But by the time she was being punished I was done with her. She spit 2x and got warnings and I was just at the end of my rope. She's THREE! If I can't get control of her now (or let's be honest, I'm trying to teach her to control herself) what the heck will I do when she's 13??? So I grabbed the bottle of hand soap from the kitchen counter & walked into the (time out) dinning room. She was screaming and spitting and just generally being lovely while standing in front of (she wouldn't stay in) the time out chair. So, I stuck the little pump into her mouth & gave it a press and she promptly
FLIPPED. THE. F. OUT.
It got her attention, that's for sure. She then spent some time doing some more spitting; trying to get the soap out her mouth. Yes, I do see the irony of my actions. And I was fearful for a time that she was going to force herself to barf over it. That would've taught me, huh. In the end, I was able to get her to calm down so that I could help her rinse out her mouth w/out making it worse. She didn't like it, so we'll see if it's a deterrent or not in the future. I'm hopeful, but not that optimistic.
All the time this was happening, she was devastated that I did it to her. You could see the look in her eyes. I'm the one who's supposed to love her no matter what awful thing she does or how far she pushes me and I did THIS to her? I know that I'm teaching her boundaries and appropriate responses, etc...and that if I don't, I'm not doing her any favors. I totally get that. But it doesn't make me feel any less guilty about it. I've tried giving her chances to do the right thing, rewarding good behavior and even hugging her to try and help her reset. What I want to do when this stuff is going down is really just hug her super tight and somehow make her understand that I really do love her so very much and to please stop trying to make me prove it to her. I hate this part of parenting. I hate having to punish her. I hate feeling like I'm not giving her sister enough attention (cause she's the "good one") and I hate that she lacks the control to stop herself and I don't seem to know how to help her find it. Sigh

More sunshine and rainbows!

Well 3 has gotten off to an officious start.
Let me start this off by stating that everyone I know w/young kids (3 & under) seems to be having similar experiences. All of our kids seem to have freaked the F out. I don't know if it's the moon phase or air pressure change or what, but in the last week it seems like all of our kids have turned into complete THREE YEAR OLDS (aka-monsters!!!). You know what they say about 3? It's 2 w/a year of experience. (I'll be here all zee week, don't forget to tip your bartenders and waitresses!)

So that being said; Little bit the crap out of me last night. You may remember we had some issues in the past w/the biting. (You know one of the catalysts that got us into a kiddie shrink for a while). But somehow this was worse. Maybe it was because she's bigger (and stronger) or maybe it's because she hasn't really pulled anything like this in quite a while, I really feel like I've failed her. Is that weird? Shouldn't I be pissed at her?

Here's what happened:
We started the day w/her in snitch anyway. My girlfriend w/the twins came over in the AM which was good cause she was just getting into stuff to push my buttons. So our morning was covered. In the afternoon we had gymnastics (also good, blows off lots of steam) and then M and planned to hit the outlet mall which now has a Crocs store. We dropped our car off at our house and in the 5 mins it took to get there Little had fallen asleep. Considering her mood earlier in the day I should've had bells going off and LET HER SLEEP. But it seemed silly to take two cars, so I woke her and we piled into M's van. Once there I realized I had forgotten a stroller (restraint device) of any type and then was reminded the entire time, why I don't shop w/both my kids. OMG! I suppose they weren't any worse than any one else's kids, but kids running around in a store drives me nuts! Just writing about it stresses me out. I can feel my BP rising right now. So anyway we head home after I spent 30 mins yelling at my kids. We get back to our house and Little runs to the grass so she can stand (safely) and wave bye. I tell her to come in and she not only ignores me, but runs down to the side walk & starts running in circles. (Remember what I said about pushing buttons?) I (more sternly) tell her to "get in the house NOW!", which she ignores. So I get her and march her by the arm into the house. Well, this was not the response she was looking for, so she's trying to hit at me & then tries to spit me (lovely new habit, she learned it at school). Now we're in our doorway so I give her smack on the butt (not a hard one, but a smack still) and tell her, "You don't hit or spit at Mommy!" She then turns around to me and screams, "YOU DON'T HIT ME MOMMY!" To which I reply, "You don't talk to Mommy like that! You're getting a time out." She's less than pleased and isn't going to participate if she can help it, so I pick her up to take her to the time out chair. Mind you, my back has been a mess since Sunday, so picking her up is really something I should be avoiding (and this scenario shows a lot of why my back is taking so long to heal.) So I pick her up so that her front is laying across my arm (my hand is holding between her legs and my arm is supporting most of her weight). She retaliates by clamping onto the inside of my arm WITH. HER. TEETH! She didn't get a big chunk either. No, she got like a "pinch" so I couldn't pull her off w/out ripping the skin. Instead I go to hold her like that while yelling at her to let go. When she finally did, well as you might imagine, my arm modeling career is done. I gave her 3 more smacks on the bum (she was unfazed) and put her into the time out chair. She's screaming and generally carrying on (I can only imagine what the neighbors must think.) And, cue Daddy walking in. He took one look at me and said, "What's going on?" I didn't say anything I just gave me a look and then showed him my arm. He was shocked (by now the bite, was red & purple and very swollen). I informed him that I was "done" for the evening, got a pain pill (for my back) and laid down on the couch.

Daddy, the saint that he is, took Little out back. She continued her tantrum for at least another 30 minutes. One part resulted in her spinning herself in circles and carrying on, while sitting on the deck. Her feet were bare, so that resulted in many large splinters. She, of course, wanted Mommy to get them out & make her feel better. Daddy told her, "No way, not till you apologize." This, resulted in more tantrum. Eventually she agreed to apologize & I worked on her foot till I had enough wood to build a small fire. Then we were done with the episode.

Now, while I'm not a proponent of spanking/hitting in general, I do think there are times/situations when it's warranted. In hindsight, I think I might have been better served w/some liquid soap in the mouth, but still the spanking is not what I'm feeling guilty about. No, I'm just sad because I don't know how to help her get past this. I feel like I'm failing her, cause she's only 3 and I should be able to teach her how to funnel these feelings more productively. I guess I'm feeling as frustrated as she does.

Today, after school, she was back to her funny, goofy, sweet self. Of course.

THREE!!!

Yup, that's what said, THREE!!!

Crazy how fast this all goes by. Seriously no more babies in my house. It does make me a little sad, they are growing so fast. I know, it's so cliche, but it's so true. I've written about her actual "birth day" in the past. And I've reflected on the past year. Truth be told, if I reflected on this year, it would not all be positive. And I want her b-day post to be positive, so I'm writing about her party. Somehow I turned this post into a testimonial for Build-a-Bear. But hey, they made my kid's day. Honestly, that's what I'm looking for in a b-day party; a very happy b-day girl.

We celebrated Little's b-day w/a Build-a-Bear party. We decided after my surgery that we would pony up for the girls' b-day this year & not kill ourselves before, during & after. Instead, I just kill myself during, you know, trying to get all my pix. ;-) Let me just say, worth EVERY. DAMN. PENNY! It cost us about the same as having it at home & less than the Pump It Up or Gym parties. I KNOW??? Who knew??? And we went full board ($25 a kid, you can go as low as $10 per kid and you're only required to have 6 kids for it to be a party). Every child left w/a great experience, a new friend and a groovy outfit. My child was THRILLED! The kids at this party ranged in age from 2-6, so a lot like herding cats in my opinion & our group leader was amazing; she could switch gears w/no problem. All the kids had fun, and were involved. My oldest has decided she wants a party there now and pared down her list to a number Mommy could live with. We already scheduled it & sent out the invites.

So everyone had a blast. Momma & Daddy were happy (feel like we got our money's worth & our baby's happy). B-day girl was THRILLED! And all the party goers were happy!
It's a win-win-win (get it 3 wins for a 3YO). Happy B-day Little! I'm so glad you're happy, it's what makes me happy.

Jinx

I keep putting off this post, hoping things will improve. Of course, I jinx myself or something, by writing that last post. Not really, I know that. But, as I've said earlier, this healing thing has been very "two steps forward, three steps back." So I've been more on the 3 steps back side of things and when I'm like that I'm not much in the mood to post. Lying on the couch doesn't leave much to talk about, you know? Things got real bad last Thursday night. I had a pretty intense Physical Therapy (PT) session that day, but I felt good when doing it, so I didn't think it was from that. My muscles were stiff that night when I was heading to bed so I took one of my muscle relaxers (haven't had one of those in several weeks). I woke up Friday and could barely move. It was super bad. AND my foot was numb! The numbness slowly worked it's way up my leg during the day and by the time Daddyspeak got home (and I could take a much desired pain pill) my leg was gone!

I thought I was done w/the numbness!

I only took half pain pills (vicodin) cause, even though it hurt, it wasn't debilitating and I wanted to know if I started to come out of it. (Plus those things really screw w/my sleep patterns.) I'd been taking anti-inflammatory meds all day (and icing) w/out any luck. Since I knew the disc wasn't pushing on the nerve, and I don't have excess scar tissue (something PT works on every time I go in) I figured something must've been inflamed and pushing on the nerve. While it was unpleasant, it did improve and by Sunday I was able to host Easter for my family.

My guess was that I might be a human barometer now. That was the only major change I could think of, that could've caused such a drastic reaction; we had a MAJOR pressure change Thursday/Friday. My back doc had asked if I'd noticed anything related to weather since I'd had the healing issues w/my bones; it's not uncommon for people to have that added affect.

I had PT again today & told them about my little experience. My PT did some extra massage on the vertebrae directly affected from the surgery. She thinks I might have scar tissue building/attaching directly to the nerve root. I guess the scar tissue isn't just on the cut itself. I was actually feeling pretty good before she started & by the time she was done it was hurting like heck and I had the pins and needles going down my leg. I did the rest of my exercises & was OK by the time I left. (I basically work out for 2 hours at PT.) I got home & capitalized on my energy burst (and the fact that Little was in school and Big was out w/G'ma) and did a load of laundry & got some picking up done. Then I was losing steam so I worked at my computer. I was pretty good (even got dinner on the table & ate w/the family tonight, Woo!) But when I started to clear the table my leg went numb. I took my cue & got my butt on the couch. I ended up taking a pain pill (full one) cause it was giving me waves of increasing pain. I did notice that if I touch the area next to my scar it's incredibly tender. That's new, so I think this is a reaction to the massage. I'm also thinking my little weekend pain jaunt was probably more related to PT than not. I iced my back again & I'm better. Still tingly, but not completely numb. Hopefully, it'll not get worse by morning.

So there's your medical post for the day. I feel bad that so much of what I'm writing these days is about this, but that's my life these days. I can say that things are still better and continuing to get that way. My energy level is improved and the pain I'm having is no where near what I was having in November and December or even in February or March. It's all about babysteps, but we are getting there.

Back to Me

No, this isn't a post about my back.
Really, it's not. Well, everything is about my back, sort of, but as much as anything in my life can be removed this post is just that. Removed.
Did you read my last post?
Recognize anything? No really, think about it.

ME!

Yes, me I'm back.
No, I never totally left, and I've been off the drugs for weeks now, but since Thursday I've been back.
God, I hope it doesn't go away. For the first time in months (maybe 2 years) I feel like I'm back to being me. No underlying current of pain in everything I do. I'm not pain free. Well, occasionally, like right now, I can get into a position that doesn't hurt, isn't even uncomfortable, for a period of time.
That's new.
Yeah, that's how bad it really was, there was never a time when it didn't actively hurt. Ever. Then it was just that I was always at least uncomfortable, if not in pain. But today, today, I've had periods of time when I don't hurt. Well, if I move I'll still feel it, but damn that light at the end of that tunnel is getting bright.

Last Thursday I saw my back doctor. He was IMPRESSED w/my ability. "Things were looking good, I had another month of Physical Threapy (PT) and if I needed more they would let him know, so he released me from his care. "
Wow.
I mean I knew I was doing well, but I still was having a lot of pain and are you sure? I didn't say anything. I was actually surprised during the appointment. I did my usually; touch your toes, bend backwards, walk; on your toes, on your heels, etc... The bending got me. It didn't hurt. Hmmm....that 's new.
Next day I went to PT. Had a different threapist since it was a different day of the week. It was like someone had lifted a layer of brick off my right hip & she was able to get into the layer of muscle that was really giving me the problem. Hurt like heck, but at least someone else could feel the place that was pulling everything forward. (That's the best way I can describe it. It feels like my pelvic bone on the right is being pulled forward, everything else along with it.) After, I went through all my exercises, they're getting easier still. She added two more and I was still done 15 mins earlier.
I was riding high when I left that session. You know when you work out and you have tons of energy at the end. Not, go run a marathon energy, more like you are finally really awake for the day energy. The kind where you want to hit your ToDo list & knock out as much as possible before you run out. I figured it would last a hour at most & then I would crash.

I haven't crashed yet.

No, I'm not on that euphoric super-charged high anymore. That lasted about 4 hours, and when it ended it was gradual. But my energy level is still up. I'm functioning like a normal person. I can knock out something on my list, like unload the dishwasher and not have to sit down for the next hour to rest after. Yeah, that's been my life at best for the last 6-12 months. Today, (Monday,) I went so far as to write a ToDo list, cause I felt like I could do some of it.

No, I'm not pain-free yet. But I'm drug-free, and I'm only uncomfortable, and that's not all the time. I believe I'm about to be back.

I have hope again that I can be the person I want to be.
The mom & wife I want to be and my family deserves. That makes it all worth it.

Originally written 3/30/09, and then I got a killer sinus infection for the next week or so. Yes, I'm feeling better and my medicine cabinet is stocked, so I feel fairly safe in making this post. KNOCK ON WOOD!

Thank Goodness for Fish Cake!

Today was not my most stellar day as a mom. I'm sure it's one that will stick in my kids' minds, but it's one I'd probably like to forget. I got a diagnosis; sinus infection. Some antibiotics, cough meds w/codeine & I'm on the mend, I hope. Today was the day our cleaning people come. In order for them to really be able to clean, the house needs to be picked up. It wasn't. Well it wasn't this AM. This morning when I got up I found that every single room in this house looked like the contents of the drawers/shelves/cupboards had all thrown up. I was too tired to be pissed. I got Big off to school & laid down on the couch. I then worked on the house 10 mins at a time w/my timer. The state of my house was the reason for my less than stellar mom skills today. At one point I told the girls; "If this house EVER looks like this again, I'm just not coming home till it's picked up." I think what made me that maddest is that it was like, "Hey, Mom's sick, it's a free for all!" As if I wouldn't notice or care. If the cleaners weren't coming I wouldn't have picked it all up, I would've made them all do it. My girls know to put their trash in the trash can & their dirty clothes in the hamper. I don't normally have to tell them to put their dishes in the sink when they're done or to put their toys away when they move on to something else. They know. I guess that's what bugged me the most, that they do it w/out being told if I'm around.

On another note, I discovered something about myself. You know when you're not feeling well you want comforting things. I realized that my version of comfort food is Japanese. Who knew? Well, I sort of did, but it's been a while. Tonight, I went out & got myself some Udon (Japanese noodle soup) and sushi. And now, I'm sitting my quiet, clean house alone (the kids & daddy are at the neighbors having pizza, although I did drop off a spider and part of a rainbow roll to daddy.) But I suddenly feel so much more human!

Nothing a little fish cake & wasabi can't fix, right?

She Plans & God Laughs...

Ever heard that expression before? It's my life lately. Last week I wrote a post about how much better I'm feeling, how I'm seeing that light at the end of the tunnel and it's gotten really bright lately, blah, blah, blah....

Then I got sick.
Got the worst flu I've had in ages. AGES!
Was sick w/it for like 5 days, w/no one around to help me out, G'parents on vacations. Yes, I know lots of you never have anyone to help you out, you don't live near family or they're gone, etc...I get that. But you've also got a back up plan of some sort, right? I'm getting there on the back up plan, but we're still sorting it out, because most of the time I don't need it.)

After 5 days of that I was feeling better and was ready to post my "feeling better" post and then I get sick again! I jinxed myself I guess. Not sure what I have now is not the same thing that just sat for a week and has turned into a secondary infection. What I can tell you is that I feel like creamed crap again. Bah!

I'm feeling bad enough that I asked DaddySpeak to stay home from work today. That's pretty bad in my book. I hate asking for help. HATE IT!

I slept till 11 (sort of, woke a lot w/sore throat & coughing) then got in the shower thinking that might help. It did, a bit. But my body is obviously at war & I'm feeling the effects. I'm super achy. Like typing does me in. And my neck is super sensitive from holding my head up. Seriously. (Melodramatic much? But really that is how I feel.)

So, once I get well, I will list that post. I thought it'd be nice for you to hear about something beside my bitching all the time. But after that, never again. I learned my lesson. Bitchy, snarky posts only from here on out!

Who Do You Love?"

"Mommy, who do you love more?"

Big hit me with that one today. Didn't see that one coming at all. They always manage to blindside you with the big ones.

"Who are you talking about?"
"Us and Daddy? Who do you love more"
I would've thought it would've been more about the two of them, but maybe she's smart enough to know she's afraid of the possibilities of that answer. At least in this case it's apples & oranges and she knows that. Even at age 5 somewhere in her she understands it's different.

"Honey, I love you all equally in different ways."
She waits.
"Listen, I love you and your sister the way a mother loves her daughters and your father the way a wife loves her husband and G'ma & Papa the way a daughter love her parents."
"A Daughter!?"
"Yeah, remember G'ma & Papa are my mom & dad."
"And even though I love you and your sister like a mother loves a daughter the way I love you each is different too. I love you each because of who you are, so that makes it different and the same. "
She just looks at me skeptical (jeez, she's only FIVE!)
"Listen, before we had your sister, when you were our only child, I loved you so much. I just couldn't imagine being able to have enough love in my heart to be able to love another child as much as I loved you. I just couldn't. I'd never known the kind of love a parent has for a child & once I knew I couldn't imagine being able to love another child that much too."
"Really?"
"Yup. But you know what happened?"
"What?"
"When your sister was born my heart grew."
"It did?"
"Yup. That's what happens, your heart grows to be big enough for all the love for everyone you need to. Especially your kids."
"Is that true?"
"Yup. It is."

And it is.

Tweet, Tweet!!!

Um yeah, I Tweet. Who doesn't? Do you both read my blog & my twitter? I've also hooked up my FaceBook account to my twitter so I can update from my cell, cause I'm hip and down with it like the kids. And, "get that ball off my lawn you whippersnappers!" Yeah, so if you do follow my twitter or FB accounts you may have noticed some odd messages from me today.

No, I am not above humiliating myself to get help fix the situation. Stop laughing! Seriously!
Yes, I locked myself out of the house today.
Remember I said I've been sick? Well, I have and I am & I'm having trouble w/completely coherent thoughts. Yes, they do still let me watch the children, why do you ask??? So let me back track a little here (although if you do follow my twitter & FB you might want to skip the rest of this paragraph as it's review.

And now, I'm exhausted. See, this is why I haven't been posting. I'm taking a break to rest because I can (DaddySpeak just walked in the door and while I do love you Internets, I am really sick and this post is partly a distraction to try and keep me awake. Since I do really need to rest and DS is here, I'll be back.) You'll hardly miss me, trust me.

See, like I never left. :-)
That's pretty much my day every day. Only when you're here, you miss me. Or I miss you. I miss major chunks of my day still, but it's getting later & later every day so progress, right?

Anywho, the tweets....oh yes!
Here's the deal; Because I have the flu (bubonic plague) I'm a little out of it. Yesterday was much worse, I had a fever most of the day w/accompanying chills & aches along w/cement filled sinuses. Just for fun, Little decided to get up before 5 yesterday. I didn't fight it (too much) got up, got her & Big to their schools & went to Physical Therapy (PT). I felt so awful I didn't actually do any PT, just got them to work on my back a bit & headed home. So that was yesterday. It was miserable, but doable because Little was at school all day. My fever broke last night, and I did get some sleep, but I was still working from exhausted when I woke up today. AND today Little's home all day. So I make it through the morning with her, (sort of, I did do the drop off and wake w/a start thing a couple times, but the house wasn't burned down & no one poisoned themselves so overall I consider that a win). The weather's been nice & the kid wants to wear all these flip-flops that I recently unpacked from her hand-me-down bins. Most are too big so they slow her down at best, (at worst, she gets tripped, but that's fodder for another post). I'm trying to kill time w/her so cool, "Hey Little, want to walk to get Sissy and you can push your doll stroller?" Heavens opened up and angels sang, at least according to her. So I didn't bring my whole purse, I did my pocket check;

ipod, "check"
cell phone, "check"
keys, "check"
water bottle? "Opps, where's my water bottle?" "Hey, Little, wait don't open the door w/out mom!"

And we're on our way!
Guess, what I put down on the counter instead of into my pocket when grabbing my water bottle to chase after my 2YO who was leaving w/out me?
Lame, yes. But understandable considering the complete mess my head is right now.
Here's how out of it I am; I didn't know I'd done this until we literally got back to the doorstep. (And looking in to see the keys sitting on the counter.)

ARGGGGG!!!!

So yes, I checked all the doors & windows (we had a spat of break-ins going on a month or so ago, so) every thing locked up tight! Big, of course, "I really have to go to the potty!" So I call our closest neighbor & we trek on down to her house. W/in minutes her daughter & my two were in full play mode. I'm on the cell trying to reach DS, who I'm assuming is ignoring my calls because he already knows that I'm sick would like him to come home early. I have a an epiphany: If I call the road side service (RSS) & tell them I'm locked out of my car, I have a garage door opener in the car & hopefully, hopefully the door from the house to the garage isn't locked.

FORTY-FIVE MINUTES. That's how long till RSS will be at our house to help me out. And that's assuming we didn't lock the garage door. The girls have gymnastics in 45 minutes and I really need them to go. Yeah, it's expensive, so I don't want them to miss it, but more than that, I need them to get tired out from it. So now I'm on the phone calling neighbor who are in the same class trying to work out a carpool and who has car seats we can borrow, etc.... In the meantime, MD, the neighbor's house I'm at, has made lunch for the girls and is getting them situated on the patio to eat, "so they'll be ready to go". MM has worked out the carpool and found seats for me and will take my girls while I wait for RSS to show up. Do I have the most rocking friends or what?

So the tweets, why would I need to alert the world to my plight? Do I just enjoy the ridicule? Well, no, I was pretty sure that the garage door would not be unlocked. In which case, I still needed DS to make his way home, and he still didn't even know it yet. Epiphany #2! If I send a Tweet (hooked up to my FB) and indicate that I'm trying to contact him, one of his co-workers will track him down for comic value if nothing else. It worked, he called me right back! Actually, he called me before anyone even saw it. By that time, RSS had shown up, and lucky me! garage door was open! The girls and I rallied and we were off to gymnastics!

A few hours later DS walked through the door. EARLY! And here we are!
So that's why I humiliated myself today via Twitter and Facebook.

Awake...it's what's for dinner

Wow it's been 2 weeks since my last post. Well, not much new to report. I'm taking a scrapbook class & I've been sick. Woo-freaking-hoo! I know, the exciting life I lead. Between those two things, not much time left for much else. I am actually doing better. Yup, you heard me right,
"I'm doing better!"
Don't get too excited, I'm still very much two steps forward, three steps back, but at least now I'm past the point where I started at, it is progress and I guess I'm resigned to my snail's pace. Two nights in a row now I've actually made dinner and stayed awake for it. I didn't say I sat & ate dinner, I told you it's been slow. But the fact that I've actually pulled together more than chicken nuggets and set the table is a pretty big deal for me. I've had days where I've managed to put together a meal in a crockpot or in babysteps all day long, but this is more the whole putting it together the hour before we're due to eat kind of thing. You know, like normal people.
So yeah, it wasn't my intention but, you're getting a post about my ability to make dinner.
Wow, you may qualify as more pathetic than I if you're still reading this.

My First Best Friend (4) --Part 3

OMyGawd!OMyGawd!OMyGawd!

Guess who sent me a message today on Facebook. Ok, ok, I'll calm down a bit. I was just so damn sideswiped by it, you know. I mean I'm going along having a day. Little's at preschool, Big's having a playdate and her and I just got back from our dentist appointment. I hit the refresh button on my computer in passing, you know, not really expecting anything. Well, except for all those "sales" and "coupons" that seem to fill up my inbox these days...So I immediately go to the 3 FB notes; 2 are from a school friend who posted old high school photos of us, lovely. But the third! The third is a note from her! Just a quick, "Hi, your family is beautiful and Wow! Look at those scrapbook pages." (I get a lot of that from people who don't know better. ;-) But still, it's the first personal contact she's initiated in 15+ years. OK, I'm going to go practice my cleansing breaths and think about what 2 "not committal, casual sentences I can write back, w/out sounding desperate." Which is kind of pathetic isn't it? More later.

And as the pendulum swings back...

I've been avoiding blogging for a while now, I guess. Part of it is frustration & I feel like all I'm doing is two steps forward then three back. And I guess I am.

I am getting better, I really am.
It's just frustrating. I feel better, I do something and then I'm on my back again. And really that's all there is going on right now. Well, it's not all, but I'm feeling very grumpy and I don't want to be all Nancy Negative, cause I that's all I feel, so thus no posting.

So here's your Monday Update grumpiness and all:

Remember all that weight I lost last summer, without trying? Yeah, you can get over being pissed at me.
It's back (I told you it wouldn't last,) oh and it brought friends. After the surgery, well it started during the holidays cause that's around the time I really stopped moving unless absolutely necessary. And also the time I started eating again. Honestly, I never stopped eating, well crap. I never stopped eating CRAP! So by the end of my "6 weeks," that magic number by which I should've been "recovered". I'd found that I'd gained back 15 lbs of that 17 I'd lost. Did that stop me? NOoooooo . I was convinced that I would miraculously jump from my bed in any moment now because I would be "recovered" and it would just "melt off". Riiiiight. Well that and there were also these Girl Scout cookies in the freezer...God forbid I be deprived of thin mints at this my time of suffering. Yeah, I know, you get the idea.

So how's that working for me?

Um yeah, I weigh as much as I did when I left the hospital after having Little. So I'm up an additional 15 lbs. Yes, up 30 lbs from say September. BAH! So you understand the grumpiness now? The frustration? Oh, and I'm having a really hard time making myself do extra stuff (to get moving to try and start losing it) for fear of ending up on the couch again.

I'm back on my low carb thing again. I had my first carb crash tonight. It was scary. I was shaking to badly I could hardly stand. I had berries & whipped cream. And when that wasn't fast enough I ate some gummies. Good News--I'm on my way to having them out of my system. Bad News--this is the hardest part.

Potty Training 08

So yeah, it really was just potty training 08. For fear of jinxing myself here, but at this point I think I'm pretty safe (knock on wood, sign of the cross…). Little has not strayed from using the potty since January. Stinker! She's SO GOOD about it that I forget to remind her to go. The biggest annoyance about it, so far, has been that she NEEDS to check out the bathroom where ever we go. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. And as you know, if your recently trained toddler says she needs to go, you take her. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Yeah, she's figured out that she can prolong quite a few things this way, including the time out. Last week I told her she could pee herself, I didn't care (she'd hit her sister). She didn't, (pee herself) but I still have to let her check out every bathroom in Santa Clara County for now.

BIG GIRL NEWS (there really are no babies left in my house. *sigh*)

No, not news about Big (boy could this get confusing) but news about Little being a BIG GIRL. Last week her school told me she would be moving up w/the 3YOs so not to pay the extra $$ associated w/the 2YOs who aren't potty trained. AND then the next day, her gymnastics teacher informed me I should really consider moving her up to the 3YO class. "She's a great example to the rest of the group, but she's going to get bored pretty quick." Yikes! All in one week, damn kid w/her growing up....get that ball of my lawn....grumble, grumble.... I told her teacher I wanted to wait till I was able to get THE BIG ONE into her class on Wednesdays (we were waitlisted) so they'd be changing at the same time AND I wouldn't have to deal w/kids sitting around waiting for each other. Two days later the gym called to say we had a spot! Yeah!!!

So yeah, that earthquake you felt...it was just the planets aligning w/the sun, moon and earth so that my kids now have gym class at the same time! My life just got exponentially easier.

NEWS ABOUT THE BIG GIRL

So Big is pretty much cruising. We've gone through the similar growing pain type stuff from her G'parent's last visit. I knew what it was this time and while that hasn't seemed to stop it, it's taking care of itself. Same w/Little on that front. 48 hours of "testing" after G'ma J left to make sure all the same rules still applied. Big still has this awesome gap where her two top front teeth go, makes for some awesome pictures. Her hair is growing out & starting to look slightly less akward. I told her she can get it cut AFTER our Disney trip; we're getting princess hairdo's while there, damit!! Yes, I'm living vicariously through my kids. If I can't be Barbie well then they MUST be! And then I will scrapbook it, so later they can tell me how lame it was ,only to find that they have little girls who are dying to do it.

That is how this all works, right?

Speaking of cruising...Daddy's been taking her out to the school on weekends and she's started riding her bike w/out the training wheels. Still pretty wobbly, and when she was showing Mommy (w/Mommy doing the holding) she biffed big time. (Of course she got hurt once Mommy go involved.) But she's doing it, and she's motivated to do it. Which is more than half the battle right there. Little wants to do it so bad she can taste it. Big better pick it up before summer, I'm pretty sure Little will skip the whole training wheels thing. She's determined.

I have more, but it's tedium at it's finest, so I'll leave you w/this for now. More later this week, when I lose 30lbs and start running marathons....