Cleaning House, so to speak

Big News

And now for the most anti-climactic moment of the month…da, da, da, DA! I quit my job today! No, this is not a joke, April Fool’s is tomorrow. I know big surprise. My last day will be April 24th and then, God help us, I will officially be a Stay at Home Mom (SAHM). Right now I’m flying high on my "giving notice excitement" (I love giving notice, it’s such a sense of freedom!) I’m sure two weeks into this, I’ll be begging for them to take me back (I don’t think they’ll want me). DD2 turns two 3 days after I do this, so I will be staying at home right after my kids are done with their baby years. I think that means I’m doing this for them vs. for me.

Oh, yes, and for my love of you internets. You will benefit from more posts and I imagine more fodder for posts. All that time with the two year old, what else could come from it?

………………

Computer Issues (AKA Death vs. Taxes, I may just choose death)

Yesterday, I finally sat down to start our taxes, don’t want to rush into anything you know. It took me two hours to ascertain that the computer can not locate last years return. BAH!

I don’t know if you remember a couple months ago we had a big storm that knocked out our power (and our back fence, which also is still jimmied together, I see a theme emerging). The resulting power surge killed our CPU. It was fine, we have like 4 hard drives backing everything up 2-3 times. Seriously. We pulled out an old CPU which was loaned to us by a friend.

In Silicon Valley everyone pretty much has extra computers, parts and
accessories around their house. Seriously, it’s part of our geek code
here.

So that was all fine, right? Well other then photos we really haven’t tried to access the old files too much and last night when we did, I can’t find the one I need, of course. But hey, the text for my wedding invites, no problem. So I’m pretty sure I also saved this file on my laptop, which is having WiFi issues since we returned from our Cabo trip. Fine, I’ll lug it up the stairs and plug it in to the modem MANUALLY. The humanity of it! In the process of doing this, I found that the laptop is having driver problems (I suspect it may actually be Vista problems, but I don’t know for sure) and can not locate any networks anywhere at anytime. What I do know is that I will now have to spend some time on the phone with someone from Bangladesh and it's going to suck! Fun that I am so looking forward to. I also managed to set it up so that the CPU was not talking to the modem for a while as well. Big Fun! I love playing IT geek when I NEED to be doing something else. After two hours of all of this, I did finally get the CPU talking to the Internets again, but I was done. I loaded some pix to our Google photos and called it a day.

Tonight I get to re-enter all our personal information to start our taxes for this year.

And to really spice things up on Friday, I'll probably call Bangladesh. I'm just saying...

So how was your weekend?

Since I loaded some new photos I’ll share. This is my favorite of both of them together. Taken in Feb., when the outlaws were visiting.

Not Quite so Dramatic this time.

A little melodramatic no? Yeah, I know, I get that way once in a while. It’s more or less passed. When it happens I feel like it I write it down & get it out maybe it’ll go away. I’m not sure it helps, other than to prove I’m mentally ill (and help my kids have me committed some day.) But, whatever. I was in the thick of a very bad time with my back. I believe I peaked yesterday. God, I hope that was the peak. I spent almost all of yesterday in bed on drugs. I was pretty good this morning, driving in the car put me backward for sure, but now I seem to be better. Vicodin is, once again, one of my very best friends evah! I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it’s passed now. It was awful.

Work has been super busy, which hasn’t helped things, but all of this business should soon be slowing down. On MONDAY I can finally tell you my BIG NEWS and then, hopefully there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. After all this, I’m sure it will be very anticlimactic. Ok, back to work, just wanted to let you know I’m ok & I haven’t done anything like thrown myself down a flight of stairs or something.

yeah, I think it's time to up the meds again

Usually I write about the funny, the odd or the ordinary in my life.

I try to avoid the darkness I sometimes feel. Lately, that darkness has been hanging out closer to the surface. Today is one of the days I’m having trouble holding it off. I don’t like to write about it. Almost as if I don’t acknowledge it, it doesn’t exist.

I wish it were so easy.

I try not to give into it, but late at night it overwhelms me. It envelops me and if I give into it I fear I might fall into a dark pit forever. Just falling, falling, like Alice in a never-ending rabbit hole. Just blackness.

I hope that if I write tonight, maybe that will chip away at the power it seems to have over me. I’m not sure it matters. I hate this sense of helplessness I feel toward it.

I have a big change coming up in my life. It’s been taking shape for a while now and it’s finally coming to fruition. Next week I’ll be able to tell you more. But I believe it may be why the darkness is near now. It a good change. It’s something I’ve been working toward. It’s positive. But it is a big change. And I fear change. Outwardly I seem fine, but on the inside, I’m a mess.

I get overwhelmed and the darkness sees the weakness and waits nearby to try and work it’s way into me. It threatens my happiness. It makes me question my abilities, my desires….I hate this darkness. It knows and it’s waits. It waits for the time I’m weak enough to try and take hold of me fully. I think that’s why I have trouble sleeping, why I’ll play mindless games on the computer. I need to block feeling anything, and I want to be completely exhausted so I won’t be able to feel that darkness once I get into bed. I want to hit that pillow & be out. Otherwise, it's like I can feel it. It's waiting. The darkness, it's patient, and it's near.

Things I love--AKA Love Thursday Style

Meet Pancho & Speedy

(need I say more? Yeah, we'll be sending out Cinco De Mayo cards this year.)

Things I Hate!

• I hate 4 PM.
  
• I have an awesome day w/my girls, but 4 PM hits and it's like someone hit a switch. The whining, the screeching, the drama, and that's just me. Seriously, I just don't get it. It can take a great day of 8 hours that fly by and dissolve it into 2 that seem to last all day and make me feel like mom of the year.
• My Job
• They don't pay me enough to deal w/the idiots I'm working with; I know that goes against my do not talk negatively about work rule, but damn some people have no regard for others. Let's just say I got a really rude (insulting) email at the end of th day on Monday. Even though I vowed not to let it bother me and consider the source, I'm still stewing over it. Grrr!...I'm working on this one (remember my "big news" from a while back ago? Soon, I may have an announcement. I'm just saying...)
• Sharing computers
• I'm a selfish bee-yoch when it comes to my bathroom & my computer. Knowing this, it's obvious that I love my husband very, very much when you consider we share both of these. I find these to be extremely personal areas of my life (yes, my computer is very personal, I have it all arranged just so and it drives me ape shit when someone removes a shortcut or adds software or something! It's up there w/putting the toilet paper roll on wrong.) I'm moving on, I could rant for hours on this one.
• Giving up Chocolate
• Sigh, it looks like I'm going to have to. It's becoming more and more apparent that I'm having a really hard time w/chocolate. I've realized that I seem to be getting reflux from my mochas now. If that isn't a sign I don't know what is. Bah!
  

That's it for now (cause now I'm super depressed). Isn't it enough? Sigh.

'Éirinn go Brách

I have these totally adorable pix of the girls that I took this AM of them all in their green, but no way to post them right now! BAH.

That statement right there could describe my life right now. I have the materials/drive/what not to make things happen & technology/tools are preventing me from doing it. And so is my life. I'm tired, we had a crazy busy weekend and it was fun, but it was crazy busy and I have so many things on my plate that I'm overwhelmed and blah, blah, blah, I know you aren't really interested in listening to me complain, but damn this girl needs a nap (and an IT guy, maybe a finance manager to pay our bills, a cleaning service, etc....)

So I hope to post more later; on my ambitious side I'm hoping to jump onto the Fun Monday bandwagon and write more about our Cabo trip and post the St. Paddy's Day photos of my girls. Realistically: Happy St. Paddy's Day, raise a glass of green beer (seriously, stick to the grasshoppers or Irish Cream, green beer makes you pee green, which, seriously, is gross) and hopefully you'll more than one post from me this week.

Sláinte!

Baby, It’s Cold Outside…

Ok, if you live anywhere in the US, but the West Coast you can pick yourself up off the floor now. I know it’s not cold here compared to where you live, but for me 67 being the high is not cutting it anymore. I got used the mid-80s thing pretty quickly and now this is an rude reminder that it is not summer yet.

Oh Yeah! Hi, yes, we’re back, we’ve been back since the weekend, but I’m still trying to get back into the swing of things. So, um, sorry I’ve been absent, no our plane didn’t crash or anything.

Our trip was super fun & I totally intend to write more on it, but I’m swamped at work (of course) so I need to get a couple things done & then I’ll write you a good post; all about warm, breezy days, whales waving at us, sleeping in and cabana boys bringing super-fresh sushi and swirled margaritas. YUM! If I close my eyes I can almost feel the warmth of the sun on my skin right now. Almost.

Salute!

Hola Chicas & Chicos!

Let's all give a cheer to Senior Greenberg's for not only providing internet access, but FREE access for paying customers (1 hr max, if I apruptly get cut off you'll know why). So we made it to Cabo in spite of the fact that we missed our plane (cab never showed up and yes, we did cut it too close). We ended up buying tickets to LA via Southwest and then from LA to Cabo via Alaska. And just to be clear, the folks at Alaska (especially Linda in SJ and some guy in LA who's name escapes me for now, but hopefully I will remember cause) they both went out of their way to try and "fix" our day for us. And let us also mention the nice lady working the bar at SJ airport who kept our glasses full while we wait to head out. When we did get here we were feeling a bit ragged (having been up since 4 AM!) so it was very nice to arrive at our hotel and see that it really is super posh. We have a view of the pool and the Pacific. I can not believe how large the waves are here ! There's no swimming at our beach, but it's not an issue. DaddySpeak is a really good swimmer and tends to disregard those warnings sometimes, but not this time. He couldn't get over the drop off on the beach. It's the result of the waves.

My first impression of the Los Cabos area was that it looks a lot like home during the summer. That's because we basically flew down the San Andreas fault. But the best thing was first thing in the AM DS goes out on our balcony & OMG we got to see a pod of whales go by. Same thing this AM, so we're foregoing the whale watching boats since we can watch them for free from our room.

Yesterday we walked around a lot, checked things out, went on our obligatory "hotel tour". Our host was really cool, he realized right off we were not interested, and cut us lose right off. In the afternoon I hung by the pool and drank swirled margaritas. I perdict they will be the new popular drink down here by the time I leave. Last night we went out. The wind here is COLD!!! So we ended up eating in a restuarant that was relatively empty to be inside; Captain Fish. We ordered oysters on the half shell & were kinda feeling a bit "taken" since it was $10 for a half doz when we pay $1 each at home. But then they brought them out. OMG! I've never seen oysters this large before. One of them was so large it could've eaten us! That alone could've been my diner, but we split dinner too. Then we went bar hopping. We started a CaboWabo which was fun. The crowd was our age so it was good. After a couple margaritas there I was feeling no pain, I had started the drink a rita, drink a bottle of water, but the ritas were ahead of me. So I stopped. We headed to Giggling Marlin, where we danced for a while & DS did a couple of jello shots. (Bad Idea.) Then we headed to Squid Row where we were some of the old folks there (it's Spring Break here!) Well, us and a half doz dirty old men. It was ok, but a lot of the kids there were sloppy drunk, so that part was lame. We danced for a while there, DS did a couple more jello shots and we headed home.

We were home before midnight. DS over did it.

I mentioned to him at the beginning of the evening to remember we need to pace ourselves, and by the time we were headed home, I was sobered up. I'm sure I wouldn't have passed a DUI check, but my buzz had more or less worn off. DS, on the other hand, had the spins. He got so sick, that we know now, that
1) housekeeping does not work 24 hrs at our resort and
2) the only bucket like item in our room is the ice bucket.

It was a long night, part of which he spent next to the toilet, but he was good as new today and has eaten & everything. I had a very expensive (but worth every penny) spa day today; mani, pedi, & facial at the same time AND a back & neck massage. It was lovely, and NOW I really feel like I'm on vacation. Tomorrow, DS is going fishing, I'll probably lay by the pool all day. On Wed, we're scheduled for a snorkleing booze cruise (not sure that's a great combo, but we'll see) and we're going to go sign up for the sunset cruise in a bit here.

We are having a blast, so I raise a swirled rita to you internet & hopefully you'll hear back from me again soon this week.

Hola! From What Better Be Sunny Cabo!

After some research DaddySpeak and I determined there does not seem to be a Starbucks in Cabo San Lucas, Gasp! I know, I was shocked too! I had no idea we were headed somewhere so remote! Anywho, the resort we're staying at will charge us like $20 a day for internet service, so we are going to take a true step back in time & travel without a laptop! Oh, sorry, guess I should've warned you to sit down first. Soooo, if we find that there is an internet cafe there then you will realize this little post is moot. But if you just came over here and this is what you got, (Yes, I flake on Fun Monday, sorry, but...) you know those Corona commercials? That's me right now! And let me tell you after the day I just had (it's almost 2 AM & I have a 6 AM flight what does that tell you?) I NEED this vacation.

I will however miss the girls desperately, so to deal with that I promise to drink an abundance of tequila. Cheers! Salute! Adios!