Mama Doesn’t Get A Free Day

I’ve been nauseated since Sunday (it’s Wednesday). I’ve mostly been ok until I eat and then I need to lie down because I’m so very nauseated. Obviously, I’ve been mostly avoiding food. Last night it got really bad and didn’t matter if I’d eaten I was so sick. This morning it was still like that so I called my mom to see if she could take the girls for a couple hours and give me a break. She did, so I slept, and took a shower, but still it’s not good. I have only had a granola bar, some jello and a popsicle in the last 24 hours. That and about 7 gallons of water. I’m trying a couple crackers now, cause my stomach is churning on itself. So we’ll see. No sick days for Mama.

Fun Monday--the Fire Sale Edition

Don’t know if you heard, but Northern California is pretty much aflame. Seriously, I woke up with a sore throat from all the smoke in our air. It’s bad. Really bad. None of the fires are very close to us, but the wind is working against us as far as smoke goes. And, just for the record, the beach house has a fire just a few miles from it too, so going down there isn’t much help. Thus you get the fire sale edition of Fun Monday. cough, cough

After many weeks off I decided to participate in Fun Monday again. Fun Monday this week is hosted by Hula Girl at Heart, (go check her out for more on this topic and a really, really 90's wedding dress). The topic she gave us is:

Show us those pieces of clothing you just can't part with, whether you wear them or not. It might be your grandma's vintage wedding dress, a jacket from high school, a t-shirt from an old boyfriend or those jeans you hope to get back into some day. It could be anything. Most of us have something like that we can't seem to throw away.

I was going to participate in the Fun Monday by talking about my favorite outfit, which is a teal skirt & top. I got the outfit the spring Daddy Speak & I were engaged; so it’s 8-9 years old. I love it for a lot of reasons, mostly cause it’s gorgeous and my eyes turn the same color teal when I wear it. I wore it a lot and even took my engagement photos with DaddySpeak in it, so it’s memory is well preserved to me no matter what. Once I got pregnant with BigSpeak (6 years ago) I no longer fit in it. Or at least, no longer fit in it well. I hold on to it in the hope that I will get thin enough to get back into it, although I’m pretty sure even at a size smaller than it, my hips expanded enough so that it won’t fit “right”. But I still hope, a girl‘s gotta have a dream, right? Today I decided I’m going to give up that dream. Yup, just today I decided I’m going to get rid of it. Our friends who lost their house this weekend, I’m going to pass it on to them. Well to K, I don't think D would look that good in teal, I'm just saying... They have nothing now and it’s just sitting in my closet, waiting to eventually be passed on to Goodwill. Instead it’s going to get a new life. It holds such happy memories for me, it seems fitting that it should help her move forward into new happiness.

This is not the best pix of it, but the only I could find for now. Plus look at DaddySpeak w/his long hair! Being the Rock Star he is!

Welcome to the Freak Show

Today was so weird.

All last night & today our street has been a freak show; cars and people are constantly driving and walking by to see the destruction. The FD was here till well past midnight. The phone and cable companies have been working on lines all day. Our electricity came back around 9:30 last night, but it was well past noon before we had internet or cable. The burned out houses were boarded up by 6 this morning (DaddySpeak managed to slip in and get some photos,) and a cyclone fence with locks went up at some point during the day. People get out of their cars to peek through the fence.

Everything seems so surreal.

We had 5 parties today, we were only trying to make three of them, but I told DaddySpeak as we left, “I so don’t want to go anywhere today. I just want to stay around the neighborhood with people who know how I’m feeling. I want to close ranks with everyone here it just seems how it ought to be.” He said he felt the same way. We still had to go. It was fine. We even made the third party which was for the triplets. The majority of people were gone but it was good to be back by our house and with friends who understood our state of mind. One of the neighbors went out & got gift certificates (Target, Old Navy & Toys R Us) for D&K; the kids only have the bathing suits they were wearing at the pool when it all started. Tonight I walked over to her house to give her a check for my part. Our house was the closest of all our friends to the fire, but the smoke, apparently, drifted the away from us. Once I got past the houses I was overwhelmed w/the smoke smell. My nose started dripping uncontrollability and my eyes were watering. I can only imagine what it was like last night. We’re lucky on this front too; I tend to be very sensitive to things like smoke. If it had drifted our way I might be sleeping at my parents house for the next couple days. Several other neighbors happened to be heading to the same house as myself and we had an informal powwow for a half an hour or so. It was what I needed. To feel connected to these people who are feeling the same sense of survivors’ guilt I am. I’m glad it worked out that way.

I’m feeling so many things right now and it’s like I have no words to articulate the complexity of these feelings. I’m suddenly at such a loss of words.

Loss of Innocence

I’m sitting here drinking a mudslide in the heat, trying to get a buzz so I can forget a bit how much I care about what I’m going to tell you. As I sit here I’m also listening to the hum of six large fire engines in our street because some good friends lost their home today.

Today was a typical Friday for our neighborhood. This afternoon (after nap time) we headed out to the pool to hang out because it was HOT. It had to be very close to 100° today. I had stopped at Costco earlier & picked up a chicken to eat cold for dinner tonight. The neighbors behinds us (triplets) were there and so were A, C & their dad D. Mom would be there later after work w/KFC for the crowd. Kids played, we BS’d and shared snacks & beers. At 5:30 we looked toward our neighborhood and saw a huge black cloud rising quickly from some houses. The guys took off running (DaddySpeak was jumping backyard fences) leaving S (triplets mom) and I with 7 kids. And they didn’t come back. K (A & C’s mom) pulled up just as the guys were jumping fences, she was worried about her house. She was going to pull the KFC out & go check, but I told her I’m sure it’s fine, just go check & come back. She never came back! Now I’m getting a little worried, the guys ran over w/out anything but their swim trunks, no shoes and certainly no cell phones. Realizing this was serious and looking for some distraction, I pulled out our food and started feeding kids. K’s mom suddenly pulls up and we know D & K’s house is involved. Their mom packed up their stuff and took the kids to her house. The guys finally came back; it was D & K’s house (three doors down from us) and their next door neighbors, N (two doors down). The guys had been helping to actually fight the fire; unrolling & hooking up hoses and hosing down the house in-between ours and N’s. The fire had started between the two houses, but as of now do not know how or why. (Part of the reason there are still six large trucks out there is because they are working on finding out the why.) K & D’s bedrooms are a loss, the roof on that side collapsed. I imagine most of the stuff in the house has smoke & water damage, so what didn‘t get destroyed is probably mostly lost too. They do have some clothing and the most important irreplaceable stuff (baby mementos) were salvaged. Their dog, Leo, was in their bedroom and did not make it. I am overwhelmed with my feelings and can not begin to fathom how they are feeling right now. I had to explain to BigSpeak that one of her best friends just lost everything safe she knows. She doesn't really understand yet, and I'm sad that in short order she will. They are such babies still, they shouldn't have to understand how vulnerable we are yet.

I am grateful that they are all physically ok.
I am overwhelmed by the outpouring from the neighborhood already. (I’m sure they are too.)
I am grateful that it was not my home and my family.
I’m saddened that my child (BigSpeak) and one of her best friends (A) lost their sense of security in relation to their homes tonight.
I am hopeful that they will be blessed in the rebuilding of their home.
I pray that Leo didn’t suffer.
Mostly I am glad that all of us (their family and mine) are healthy and able to move forward together.

The picture is not of their house, I found it via an image search on yahoo.

Hot Gift

I know a week or two ago I was complaining about how it’s supposed to almost be summer & we are freezing over here! But this week the temperature has been creeping up and today we were about 95° . Not having AC we’re feeling a bit warm in the Speak household (the kids’ rooms are about 80° at 7:30 this evening). In this case the heat wave does have an upside?; my folks gave us a margarita maker last weekend. It was a late anniversary gift. Coincidently my folks are spending the night here; they’re having their house tented for termites, so we broke out the margarita machine (actually the thing is so freakn’ huge it has it’s own spot permanently on the counter!) No margaritas though, mudslides! Yeah Baby! YUM! Not low carb, but yummy.

Summer Vacation with a Vengeance!

This is our first week true week of summer vacation and we are at it with a vengeance!

On Monday we went to Happy Hollow. This is a park aimed at the under 5 set and is perfect for us. After 30+ years are they are gutting the place & redoing all of it starting in July, which is really very bittersweet. On one hand ,it’ll be really, really, really nice once it’s finished. On the other, this park is a place that anyone who grew up in the South Bay has visited as a child, and to have them change it now after all this time, is just sort of sad. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure, safety wise the place is a nightmare, but still, I have pictures of both DaddySpeak and I as children riding the carousel, running in the maze, climbing the fire engine….so it’s melancholy. We’re trying to get in as many visits as possible before their close date.

Yesterday, we cleaned house and then cousin S came over for a playdate; after which you couldn’t tell I’d done any cleaning. It was fine, they just built a “carnival” in the front room using every toy in the house and utilizing every inch of space in our playroom. After the playdate we headed over to one of the neighbors for slip and slide and then take out Chinese. (I love summer!)

This morning we got up and picked up the playroom (took us 30 minutes, I set the timer in 10 minute increments) then headed off to Gilroy Gardens for the day. The girls slept the entire ride home.

Tomorrow we have gymnastics and swim lessons, and Friday is Gymboree.

Whew! If we keep up this pace I’ll be a size 4 in a month!

Typical Night at Home

DaddySpeak and I are having a typical evening at home.

Girls are asleep upstairs.
TV is on; watching Dirty Jobs.
He’s sitting on the love seat and I’m on the couch, we each like to stretch out and have a blanket (cause we're true romantics). AND...

We each have a laptop going; I’m digi-scrapping, he’s cruising the Internet.

Romantics at heart, that's us!

No, we are not emailing each other!

Odd Man Out

Sigh.

Sometimes this parenting thing can be so hard. And they're only 5 and 2! I'm not sure how to help BigSpeak, she's super sensitive and not mature enough emotionally to deal with all the things she picks up on.

This afternoon we had a lovely low-key Father's Day with about 5 other neighbors at our neighborhood pool. We'd all agreed to a BYOM (Bring Your Own Meat) Potluck. BYOM is explainatory, potluck=sidedish to share. It was going great till we realized that the pool's BBQ is missing it' s propane tank. No problem we moved it to one of the neighbor's backyards. After everyone had finished eating the kids were playing inside and one of the girls announced we were getting a dance show. When the kids assembled to do the show BigSpeak hung back by the parents. I asked her if she was going to go with the kids and she burst into tears. She was so upset that I had to take her inside so I could get her to calm down. The explination I got was that she didn't know how to do what they were doing and wanted to do it at home. I told her that was fine & got her to calm down. She watched the "show" w/the adults, but was still unhappy. When we got home, as promised, we got our dance show. She beamed while dancing for just us.

I don't know if she was just:

• Overtired (likely)


• Upset because it seemed the kids had paired off & she was somewhat of the odd man out. (I think she picked up on this but may not have understood why this upset her.)


• Being the perfectionist and not wanting to do something until she knew she could do it perfectly. (This one has been a big problem in the past, and hasn't reared it's head for a while.)

I'm sure it's a combination of the 3, the later two concerning me greatly. There's so many ramifications to being a perfectionist like that. I mean, Dude, you're only 5, if you're putting this much pressure on yourself now, how are top it by age 13? And the feeling left out thing, I know it's something we all go through, but the cliquiness that has started already, it scares the crap out of me.

I just want to gather her up in my lap and hold her. She looks so much older than her barely 5YO self, and she's still such a little girl. I want to protect her from all those mean things that rotten kids will inevitably say to her, (because kids are mean and will do that,) and the snubs that will be put her direction (because she's sensitive and will wear her feelings making herself an easy target). I just want to hold her close and make it OK.

Most of the time she's such a happy, carefree little girl and it hurts me to see these types of things chipping away at that. I want to tell her it will be OK, and know that it really will be for her. How do you help your child develop a thick skin, without chipping away at that the pure innocence that believes everyone is nice?

I watch her sleep and she's still such a baby. The world is asking her to grow up too fast and I want to protect her from that.

We made it.

Schools out (as of Wednesday) and I’m now feeling like I can breath again. Note: the next time I decide to initiate a school project with less than 2 weeks left in the school year just take a gun to my head ok? I’m obviously loopy. You see, I decided that a scrapbook would make a really nice teachers gift. Being that I was working most of the year & wasn’t able to get into the class and take lots of pictures. Brilliant me! I thought I’ll get everyone else’s pictures. This really was a great idea, if I had like a month left, which I did not. I did not let that deter me. And in the process I offered to set up a class gift as well. Because, well because I am obviously short a few brain cells.
Short story long, I was able to get quite a few pix from other parents, I now the name of every kid in my daughters class. I created a really nice (if I do say so myself) album for each teacher and collected enough money for a really nice gift card ($100+) and box of Godiva (dipped fruit, yum!) for each of them. I lost a bit of sleep (try 4 nights up till 2-3AM and Monday was till 4 AM). But I think they really appreciated it. And I enjoyed playing Santa. So that’s the reasons I’ve been MIA the last couple weeks. In the meantime some bullet points on what you’ve missed:

• Headed to the beach house for the weekend last weekend & had So. Much. Fun!


• BigSpeak lost a second tooth. And I do mean lost. So far, the Tooth Fairy is getting gypped.


• BigSpeak has officially graduated from Pre-K.


• Major neighborhood drama between moms & girls (not together, that would be too exciting); the fun never ends here.


• LittleSpeak bit her sister & broke skin the other morning (she wanted the step stool BigSpeak was one, note there are two of them.)


• I got to view the photos I had done with the girls a few weeks ago and OMG! Lets just say the photo studio is having a very Merry Christmas based on what we’re spending.

All right, the neighborhood pool is open now & the girls are jonesing to go again. More later! Happy Summer!

Shhhhh......

Yeah, OK a pix of her sleeping would've been way more appropriate for this post, I agree. However, I have discovered, upon looking at my photo library, that my child rarely sleeps. Thus, I have no recent pix of her sleeping. After reading what I have to say below, you will completely understand why I am NOT going to got take a pix her right now (and risk waking her up.) I love you Internet, but a mama's gotta sleep too.

She's sleeping w/out her binky right now! I know, who would've thunk it?
DaddySpeak took her to a friends house today during nap time (I was having tea at the Fairmont, cause I'm all Fancy Nancy like that). Since we had a b-day party at 4 I made it clear that she needed to nap. That was fine, friends own a port-a-crib. They also have daughters the same age as ours, so big girls could play while little ones napped. Ahhh, but DaddySpeak forgot to bring a bink. She cried. But he was surprised at how short it lasted, less then 10 min total (and that included him going in once to make sure she wasn't climbing walls). So I was inspired and tonight at bedtime I asked her if she was ready to send them off to the Bink Fairy. I got an enthusiastic "babies", meaning that's who would get them. I agreed that the mythical babies would get her binks. That was that. I rocked her a little, but she wasn't completely alseep, I put her in her crib, gave her Sally (favorite doll), a blanket and she rolled over & went to sleep w/out a peep.

My fingers are crossed that she won't wake up at 2 AM screaming cause she can't find it.

Sigh, she's really not a baby anymore.

I Meant to Write.....

So I've had good intentions, but you know the drill; "I wuz bizeeee!"

Yes, well the outlaws left on Tuesday & I'm still recovering. I happen to choose their visit as the time to run out of the anti-anxiety/PPD pills my dr had me on for PPD. Yeah, I know my kid is two, I was supposed to be weaning off of them, I just got distracted. Not great timing for me, you think? So I'm feeling a little anxious...actually just my brain starts to race most of the time & I feel like I'm having dizzy spells a lot. It's like Disneyland, without the metal detectors or high prices.

In other news...
I did get my laptop back. Yeah!
But our WiFi network has been reconfigured since it was out and I need to reconfig the network and/or laptop again. Boo! So yeah, a couple more days on that one still. But hey, it's getting close.

This is a message I emailed to friend just before this post, it'll give you an idea of what my week has been like:

Got your phone message, but this afternoon was KRAZZZEEE! (That would be a special kind of crazy w/a capital K, in case you didn't notice.) LittleSpeak is still recovering from the fact that her G'parents have left and the world no longer revolves directly around her. Perhaps you felt the Earth's axis shift? I'm sure you heard her screaming her displeasure over it. I'm pretty sure everyone in a 5 mile radius heard her screaming her displeasure about it.

Yeah, that's pretty much my life right now. We're in the process of trying to reset from the G'parents visit. That, and LittleSpeak is teething (two-year molars, whoo!) so there was a 48 hour period this week in which I'd had a total of 7 hours of sleep (not all in one stretch, jeez, you're optimistic). Last night was better, I got 7 total hours, now we just need to work on the whole getting at 5:30 AM thing with her and we'll be golden.

Hoping to get the b-day party pix up this weekend, so really cute ones, not just of my kids although if I don't say so myself....

FIVE

Five is half a decade
Five is oh so grown up…
Five wants to watch Hi-Five & Hannah Montana, not Barney
Five can add and subtract
Five can play board and card games, and win without help
Five is smart
Five is an awareness that “I want to play with XX” means I don’t want to play with you
Five is sensitive and sweet
Five looks out for her little sister, even when her lil sis is not being all that nice
Five is worrying about others; including your mommy
Five is NOT too old to call your mom, mommy, yet
Five is one lost tooth and another ready to go
Five is kindergarten ready
Five is starting to read
Five is one year away from six which is already too old already for mommy’s taste
Five is here…and

Five is beautiful

We are so screwed

I still owe you a post about LittleSpeak turning two, which was like a month ago! And BigSpeak is about to turn FIVE this weekend!

WTH??? These damn kids w/their growing up! Grumble, grumble, grumble…

.........Night before last LittleSpeak went to the silverware drawer & pulled out this hard plastic straw (came w/some cup at an amusement park at some point,) walked over to the drawer I keep all the art stuff in and used the straw to leverage the baby lock and Open. The. Drawer.

I kid you not. Obviously, she is smarter than the rest of us.

I Do Too

Today, the California Supreme Court legalize same sex marriages in CA. I live in Silicon Valley, just a “short” drive to “The City” where this all started four years ago. This may not be big news where you live, but it is here. I have to admit, it’s nice to watch the news and have it all be positive for a change. In fact, now that I think about it, they bumped the war tonight. I can’t remember the last time the war wasn’t one of the top stories. It was nice to see The City (more specifically The Castro) holding an impromptu street party to celebrate. There was such a sense of community that conveyed even through the TV reports.
You may not support “Gay Marriage” but I have to say I honestly do. This does not mean I want to watch gay couples make out (I don’t want to watch strait couples do that either) or that I think less of the “institution” of marriage than you do. What I do know, is that many of these couples are as committed to each other as “traditional “ married couples. They live, have families, support each other the same as any other “traditional” couple, but when/if one passes the “next of kin” is not their partner. Now, think for a minute, if you and your spouse were in that situation; not only are you devastated by the loss of your partner, but his/her family, who was not supportive of your “lifestyle” have aced you out of the decision making related to their death. I’m not saying this is the case with all partners and their families. I have no idea of the statistics, but I would like to think that many more are supportive than not. For those who are not, I can not imagine the feelings that they go through.
I honestly don’t understand how in 2008 we live in a society where this type of decision is a hard-fought one. It seems so simplistic to me. Being married, being treated the same as everyone else, regardless of race, gender, disability, religious belief or sexual orientation seems like it ought to be a basic human right. How is it that separate, but equal is still considered “ok” by some people. And why does it seem to concern people so much? Those who are against it, how does it affect you directly? There is just so much more to fix in this world, this just seems so obvious to me.
Congrats to California for saying “I DO!”.

Potty Watch 2008: Strike One

A couple weekends ago I decide to take the offensive. LittleSpeak has decided she doesn’t like being wet and takes off her diaper whenever she goes in it. It’s a lovely new skill that she’s acquired and made me feel that she is more than ready to be potty trained.

The stage was set:

• Potty seat on patio (check)
• Nice weather (check)
• Lots of juice boxes (check)
• Bubbles, sand table, and other toys she could play with and sit on the potty if she wanted (check, check, check)
• Clear Calendar (check)
• Motivational tools; candy & pull ups (check)

So we were good to go. She happily drank her juice boxes and played bubbles with me naked from the waist down. In fact, I think she couldn't believe her luck. She sat on the potty, she talked about the potty, she talked about her pull ups and her candy. It was looking good. Three juice boxes later she obviously had to go. She was standing at her sand table and couldn’t hold it any longer and let a little flow go. A couple drops landed on her feet. I quickly grabbed her and sat her on her potty seat. Well, she did NOT like her little piggies getting wet. We wiped them off, but she was having none of it. I told her to go pee-pee in the potty and she told me “no”. WTF? Then she asked for a diaper or a pull up. I told her no and she threw a fit (par for her). She tried to get the pull ups from me & put one on. I reminded her that she had to go in the potty and then she could wear a pull up. She did NOT want to pee in the potty. She had to go so bad it was killing her. She was crossing her legs, holding herself, hopping around begging for a diaper. I felt really bad when she put her head in my lap crying for a diaper. I just kept telling her to go, but she wouldn’t. DaddySpeak tried running her around w/the bubble wand to see if the distraction would make her go so she’d get over it. But nothing. After about 45 minutes (damn that kid has better bladder control than a lot of adults!) I finally gave in and gave her a diaper. I was torn; I didn’t want to give in to a power struggle, but this didn’t feel like that. This felt more like she wasn’t ready.

She went in the diaper right after she put it on.
Then she took the diaper off because it was wet.
LittleSpeak one, parents zero.

Too Big, Too Fast

BigSpeak went & surprised the heck out of us tonight.

She lost her first tooth. In fact, she really lost it.

It’s been loose for over a week & when she first told me I kinda blew her off. I figured someone at school must’ve lost one & now her’s was “loose.” Then last weekend we were reading on the couch and her smile looked kinda crooked to me. We had just finished dinner so I figured it was food in her teeth and the lighting or something, but then I really looked at it & her front bottom left tooth was all snaggle-toothed on her.

WTF? She’s not even FIVE yet! I’m so not ready for this! I declared her grounded for a year for growing up to fast; which amused her to no end.

When she first showed it to me it was very loose, but not falling off or anything, I figured we had at least a couple weeks yet. Tonight after DaddySpeak gave the girls their bath he came into the study, where I was frantically trying to check for any important emails, and asked me when BigSpeak had lost her tooth. Huh? I looked at her & she smiled showing me the telling gap on her bottom row. OMG. I was speechless. We think she must’ve lost it eating dinner tonight, but aren’t positive. When I informed her we’d write the tooth fairy a note she started to cry. She was very upset that she didn’t have the actual tooth to put under her pillow. I explained that this happens all the time and after a few minutes and hugs she calmed down, mostly. She went in her room for PJs and (after a few tears of my own, cause I am so not ready for her to be this big yet!) I went & got the phone. We called the grandparents who gushed and made all the appropriate compliments about how big she's getting. She completely recovered when I told her she could stay up late so we could write the note. I’m super bummed that I’m still having computer issues, cause I would love to have scanned the note & posted one of the gap-toothed photos I took of her. I got a couple good ones. (Soon, I promise.) Since she’s only FOUR (and doesn't really know how to write yet) I wrote the actual note; she signed her name & drew a picture of herself missing a tooth and then of the tooth fairy and a coin (bigger than the fairy) she’s bringing (“so she won’t forget”). It was so damn cute I’m getting all teary now just thinking about it.
I hear the going rate for a first tooth is $5, and every other one after is $1 (in quarters). Let’s hope those ones are a ways behind still.

No rest for the weary!

Wow! You just may have too much time on your hands. I’m just saying; I’ve been totally MIA for almost two weeks and you’re checking back anyway? Well, thanks. It’s good to know that someone in the blogosphere might actually alert the cops to my house after a period of non posting. Cause that means someone was still coming to see if I’d written something. Which is actually really touching…or sad, I’m going w/touching.

So here’s the deal; I’m retired!!! Yeah!!! OMG I’m retired!

I’m still working out the whole schedule thing and when I get to be on the computer each day; ummm yeah, still haven’t worked that part out yet. I can say that each and every day myself and both girls have been dressed by 8 AM (weekends don’t count). My house is waaaay cleaner than it’s been in months. Yes, I know that’s not necessarily saying much, but work w/me here. And we’ve celebrated one birthday and had a full weeks worth of very sick child. So nothing like being thrown into the thick of things, right?

Ok, since it’s past midnight already, and one of my goals is to get to bed by midnight, it’s a goal people, no one said it would be easy, I’m going to stop here and try to get in some writing tomorrow. I said try and I really will, but JIC it doesn’t happen I did say try. Promise to be back again this week. PROMISE! I have good stories & pix, soon ! So keep checking, and thanks for caring, seriously.

Save the Drama for your Mama

Update on the current neighborhood Soap Opera:

BigSpeak (after receiving the inquisition from G’ma, Mama & Daddy in various ways and forms) doesn’t seem to recall there being any issue. Of course. My mom and I point blank asked her if K and her had a fight and then if she “hit” K. Got “no” answers in both cases. BigSpeak can be very sensitive, especially when it comes to G’ma & Mama. If she thinks we’re criticizing her she’ll get really teary, or clam up w/lots of “looks”. None of those things happened. DaddySpeak and I talked about it later and we think K made it up. If not, BigSpeak really didn’t get that anything had gone down. They could’ve been playing and K took something personally and BigSpeak didn’t realize, but I still really think it didn’t happen. BigSpeak isn’t stupid, she knows what hitting is and she would’ve told me if K said she didn’t want to play something anymore, she has before.

K’s mom brought it up the next day while the girls were at gymnastics. (Of course she did.) I didn’t tell her I thought her kid was lying, but I did tell her that, “Whatever did happen, BigSpeak doesn’t know something’s wrong.” After dissecting it some more she did indicate that she’s noticed that lately K “sometimes seems to make things up that she wants to be true.” I can’t ask my kid to apologize for something she may not have done; the message I’m sending her is that I don’t trust/believe her. I told K’s mom that if K was still upset I thought it was up to her to tell BigSpeak. I spoke to BigSpeak about being a good friend and that if K thinks she did/said something that hurt her feeling she should apologize, even if she didn’t mean to. I think that if K does tell her she has hurt feelings BigSpeak will apologize.

GRRRRR…..

BigSpeak and K seemed fine at gymnastics.



On Wednesday at school the report was that they played the usual games w/the usual suspects. My feeling is that K told her mom what she thought her mom wanted to hear. K’s mom “role played” with her on the subject previously so who knows what K took from that.

What I took from this little episode:



I need to tread lightly when it comes to K’s mom, I like her, but I think she’s a bit overreactive. It’s up to the girls to work their friendships out and up to us mom’s to do the same. We’d all do well to stay out of each other’s way.

Retirement

Today’s the day!

In just a few hours I will officially be retired from work.
Retired from a paycheck. I’ll still be working. Actually working harder, longer hours and getting paid in hugs and kisses rather than dollars.

I think I’ll take the trade off.

This morning LittleSpeak woke up with a nightmare at FOUR. A. M. DaddySpeak got up with her, but she wouldn’t go back to bed, the second he’d try to put her back she’d snap awake and start calling for mama. So he gave her what she wanted; GRRRRR….. She’s actually a pretty good sleeper/cuddle-r. She likes to lay on top of you in kind of a sleep hug, and since she only weighs like 20 lbs it's actually kind of nice. The problem isn’t really her, it’s me. Once she’s in bed with me I don’t really rest anymore; I have an awareness of everything she’s doing, so I’m not really sleeping. So I really got about 3 hours of sleep at best last night. Total of about 10 for the last 36. Woo!

Just to add to the fun; my commute took 2.5+ hours this morning. That is NOT an exaggeration.

Yup, not going to miss any of that. Not at all.


Of course with potty training and summer vacation looming, you may need to refer me to this post in a couple weeks.

The Real Moms of Silicon Valley

No, I’ve never watched that show. I really only know about it from the internet but it sure does get a lot of buzz.

My stomach is all in knots.
There a bit of a spat going on between BigSpeak & one of her friends, K. K’s mommy said something to me this weekend about the girls; blah, blah, blah…basically my daughter is bossy (yeah, you think?) and her daughter is kind of a doormat. Ummm, OK. So that was on Friday or something. On Sunday, in the car, BigSpeak is telling us some story and pipes up that K is her BFF and she does/plays everything she (BigSpeak) wants her to. Since she brought it up, I mention to her that K is a really good friend, especially since she pretty much lets BigSpeak pick what they’re playing all the time. But that BigSpeak needs to remember that part of being a good friend involves taking turns at who picks what you play and asking first if your friend wants to play that game; and if they don’t than doing something you both want to do. BigSpeak can be pretty sensitive, so she took what I said & turned it into criticism and wouldn’t talk to me or make eye contact for like an hour. Great.

K’s mommy role played w/her about what to say to BigSpeak. Today at school K told BigSpeak she didn’t want to play whatever was suggested and BigSpeak screwed up her face and told her that she didn’t like her anymore and didn’t want to be her friend. There was also supposedly some hitting and arm thrashing by my daughter. I say supposedly because BigSpeak is NOT a physical kid. She’s VERY passive aggressive, and the more I think I about it the more I’m surprised that she would do that. LittleSpeak, no problem, she’ll backhand you for looking at her the wrong way, but BigSpeak that’s just not her mode d’operandi. She’s more the trip you later kind of girl. I’m not saying my kid didn’t or wouldn’t do it, I’m just saying I find it hard to believe she did it if this story is all there is to it.

I got all this from K’s mommy who called me at work to tell me. The fact that she called me at work is a big red flag.

Did my child actually hurt your child? No.
Is your child still upset over it? No.
Hmmm, perhaps we should stay out of it? (Was it really so important that you couldn't email me or call me at home over it?)

I called my mom to see how BigSpeak was & nothing had been said about any of it and she was happily playing with her little sister. K really has been her BFF, so G'ma had asked her specifically if she'd played w/K today and all she got was a Yes. Interesting.

I called back K’s mommy & told her I would be talking to BigSpeak about hitting and making sure she apologized to K about that, cause it's not acceptable on any level. Otherwise, I felt it was really up to the girls to work it out. She agreed, but continued to go on about it. And it was really apparent that she needed to be “right” over this.

If she really agreed, why did she get involved in the first place?
I’m mad at my self because I inadvertently allowed her to pull me into this. Bah.

I feel like I’m in a really bad reality series.