Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Gimme a break!

Know what I’ve been doing today? (I’m at work.) No besides writing this, something equally productive and (non) work related. I’ve been figuring out our personal budget.

I F’ing hate it here! Ok, I don’t hate it. But I don’t love it either. I actually spent most of the morning in meetings finding out just how F’ed up this place is. Honestly I don’t care. I really don’t. Since I don’t care I’m not that inclined to help them fix it which is what is going to be expected of me. Because of the reorg I am being asked to do many things which I had no part in previously. The fact that a few managers saw my resume and realized I know how to do these things hasn’t helped the matter. That same fact (that I’ve done these things before at other company’s) is why I don’t want to do any of it. These are all things my previous boss dealt with. She worked full time. I, do not. This is what I would call a cluster fuck. Not a new term when dealing with business, just something I really don’t want to deal with anymore. I have one of those (a CF) going on at home, I don’t need anyone else’s. So instead of working on a plan to fix the crap at work, I went through our spending for the last 6 months to see where we stand. (If there were a chance in hell that I could stay home. Hahahahahahahaha…) We fall right into the category of needing my husband’s salary plus $1. Amalah’s description, not mine, but an accurate one, so I’m stealing it. We need ONE of my paychecks to be comfortable. It’s very frustrating. At this point we couldn’t get a cheaper mortgage by buying a smaller house, so no need to suggest it. When we moved last year I made sure we set things up so that our mortgage payment stayed the same; i.e.--more money down. (We’re paying the same for our 5 bdrm house as we did for our 2 bdrm. Crazy I know.) It’s a smart move & in a couple years it’ll be really smart, but I want it to be that smart RIGHT NOW! I realize that part of my problem is that I get no breaks now. Before TS went to school two days a week & I could “get things done” on those days. (I could've even napped, what was I thinking????) Now, I’m at work while she’s at school. No Breaks. I need one. I’m tired and sad & don’t want to be here. Sigh.


Laura said...

That's two of us. I am also fed up of being away from my kids 10.5 hours a day. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.
But the truth is, we can not live without my salary. I'm so sad I can not follow up my kids.
I wasn't much help...I know.