Sunday, April 27, 2008

Save the Drama for your Mama

Update on the current neighborhood Soap Opera:

BigSpeak (after receiving the inquisition from G’ma, Mama & Daddy in various ways and forms) doesn’t seem to recall there being any issue. Of course. My mom and I point blank asked her if K and her had a fight and then if she “hit” K. Got “no” answers in both cases. BigSpeak can be very sensitive, especially when it comes to G’ma & Mama. If she thinks we’re criticizing her she’ll get really teary, or clam up w/lots of “looks”. None of those things happened. DaddySpeak and I talked about it later and we think K made it up. If not, BigSpeak really didn’t get that anything had gone down. They could’ve been playing and K took something personally and BigSpeak didn’t realize, but I still really think it didn’t happen. BigSpeak isn’t stupid, she knows what hitting is and she would’ve told me if K said she didn’t want to play something anymore, she has before.

K’s mom brought it up the next day while the girls were at gymnastics. (Of course she did.) I didn’t tell her I thought her kid was lying, but I did tell her that, “Whatever did happen, BigSpeak doesn’t know something’s wrong.” After dissecting it some more she did indicate that she’s noticed that lately K “sometimes seems to make things up that she wants to be true.” I can’t ask my kid to apologize for something she may not have done; the message I’m sending her is that I don’t trust/believe her. I told K’s mom that if K was still upset I thought it was up to her to tell BigSpeak. I spoke to BigSpeak about being a good friend and that if K thinks she did/said something that hurt her feeling she should apologize, even if she didn’t mean to. I think that if K does tell her she has hurt feelings BigSpeak will apologize.


BigSpeak and K seemed fine at gymnastics.

On Wednesday at school the report was that they played the usual games w/the usual suspects. My feeling is that K told her mom what she thought her mom wanted to hear. K’s mom “role played” with her on the subject previously so who knows what K took from that.

What I took from this little episode:

I need to tread lightly when it comes to K’s mom, I like her, but I think she’s a bit overreactive. It’s up to the girls to work their friendships out and up to us mom’s to do the same. We’d all do well to stay out of each other’s way.

Thursday, April 24, 2008


Today’s the day!

In just a few hours I will officially be retired from work.
Retired from a paycheck. I’ll still be working. Actually working harder, longer hours and getting paid in hugs and kisses rather than dollars.

I think I’ll take the trade off.

This morning LittleSpeak woke up with a nightmare at FOUR. A. M. DaddySpeak got up with her, but she wouldn’t go back to bed, the second he’d try to put her back she’d snap awake and start calling for mama. So he gave her what she wanted; GRRRRR….. She’s actually a pretty good sleeper/cuddle-r. She likes to lay on top of you in kind of a sleep hug, and since she only weighs like 20 lbs it's actually kind of nice. The problem isn’t really her, it’s me. Once she’s in bed with me I don’t really rest anymore; I have an awareness of everything she’s doing, so I’m not really sleeping. So I really got about 3 hours of sleep at best last night. Total of about 10 for the last 36. Woo!

Just to add to the fun; my commute took 2.5+ hours this morning. That is NOT an exaggeration.

Yup, not going to miss any of that. Not at all.

Of course with potty training and summer vacation looming, you may need to refer me to this post in a couple weeks.

Monday, April 21, 2008

The Real Moms of Silicon Valley

No, I’ve never watched that show. I really only know about it from the internet but it sure does get a lot of buzz.

My stomach is all in knots.
There a bit of a spat going on between BigSpeak & one of her friends, K. K’s mommy said something to me this weekend about the girls; blah, blah, blah…basically my daughter is bossy (yeah, you think?) and her daughter is kind of a doormat. Ummm, OK. So that was on Friday or something. On Sunday, in the car, BigSpeak is telling us some story and pipes up that K is her BFF and she does/plays everything she (BigSpeak) wants her to. Since she brought it up, I mention to her that K is a really good friend, especially since she pretty much lets BigSpeak pick what they’re playing all the time. But that BigSpeak needs to remember that part of being a good friend involves taking turns at who picks what you play and asking first if your friend wants to play that game; and if they don’t than doing something you both want to do. BigSpeak can be pretty sensitive, so she took what I said & turned it into criticism and wouldn’t talk to me or make eye contact for like an hour. Great.

K’s mommy role played w/her about what to say to BigSpeak. Today at school K told BigSpeak she didn’t want to play whatever was suggested and BigSpeak screwed up her face and told her that she didn’t like her anymore and didn’t want to be her friend. There was also supposedly some hitting and arm thrashing by my daughter. I say supposedly because BigSpeak is NOT a physical kid. She’s VERY passive aggressive, and the more I think I about it the more I’m surprised that she would do that. LittleSpeak, no problem, she’ll backhand you for looking at her the wrong way, but BigSpeak that’s just not her mode d’operandi. She’s more the trip you later kind of girl. I’m not saying my kid didn’t or wouldn’t do it, I’m just saying I find it hard to believe she did it if this story is all there is to it.

I got all this from K’s mommy who called me at work to tell me. The fact that she called me at work is a big red flag.

Did my child actually hurt your child? No.
Is your child still upset over it? No.
Hmmm, perhaps we should stay out of it? (Was it really so important that you couldn't email me or call me at home over it?)

I called my mom to see how BigSpeak was & nothing had been said about any of it and she was happily playing with her little sister. K really has been her BFF, so G'ma had asked her specifically if she'd played w/K today and all she got was a Yes. Interesting.

I called back K’s mommy & told her I would be talking to BigSpeak about hitting and making sure she apologized to K about that, cause it's not acceptable on any level. Otherwise, I felt it was really up to the girls to work it out. She agreed, but continued to go on about it. And it was really apparent that she needed to be “right” over this.

If she really agreed, why did she get involved in the first place?
I’m mad at my self because I inadvertently allowed her to pull me into this. Bah.

I feel like I’m in a really bad reality series.

I need a weekend from my weekend now.

I was going to write about my weekend, but once I started writing I realized how freaking boring it really was, sorry, such is life in suburbia. I'll bullet list the high lights below. And then to make it up to you, a photo I've been meaning to post.
  • My back was pretty sucky all weekend long. Vicodin and my bed are my new BFFs.

  • We pulled the training wheels off BigSpeak's bike (running along w/her, not one of my smarter choices.) I predict she'll be w/out training wheels full time by June 1st!

  • I found a great new place for pedicures!

  • We got our fence fixed!

  • My neighbor (who shares the fence) came over to yell at me because her dog got out during fence fixing (somehow this was my fault) and her 90+YO dad fell looking for him (also somehow my fault.) She ruined all my good pedi vibes by making me feel guilty. Bah!

  • LittleSpeak is doing her best to try and make me rethink the whole SAHM thing.

  • BigSpeak has started a new line of whining and I may have to cut her tongue out.

  • Got decorations for LittleSpeak's b-day next weekend: going to be a Fiesta!

Thanks for letting me vent; and now your reward.....BigSpeak playing in the backyard!

Her beauty continues to amaze me. Even if she is whiny sometimes.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Do you think they're sinc'd w/goggle maps too?

When we eat LittleSpeak now sits in a booster seat on a regular chair. This seat has an attachable tray but she’s really too big for it to fit on the seat anymore. Tonight at dinner she wanted it and DaddySpeak put it on for her then she got upset because it was too tight. Being upset she asked for her “ba”. I told her no, and asked her if she was a baby. As usual, she smiled hugely and shook her head no. The following conversation ensued:

BigSpeak: LittleSpeak are you going to send your binks to the babies soon?
LittleSpeaks nods and then shakes her head no. She’s understandably a bit torn about the whole concept still.

BigSpeak: The bink fairy is going to come get the binks and bring you a present! (Turns to me) Does the Bink Fairy come after you go to bed?

MommySpeak: Yup.

BigSpeak: Do you know what she looks like?

MommySpeak: No, she won’t come unless everyone’s in bed so we’ve never seen her.

BigSpeak: But she has wings cause she's a fairy.

MommySpeak: That's correct.

BigSpeak: All fairy's have wings. Angels have wings. They have halos too!

MommySpeak: Yes they do.

DaddySpeak: Angels can float you know.

BigSpeak: They can? Like in the water?

MommySpeak: No in the air.

DaddySpeak: Angels can pretty much go anywhere. They can even float through walls.

BigSpeak: Their halos let them float. I hope they don't get lost, what if they get lost?

MommySpeak & DaddySpeak: (in unison) The halo works as a GPS too.
Dude, I can’t make this stuff up.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Potty Watch 2008

Yeah, we're still avoiding the potty training issue. Shhh! Don't let her hear us, she'll try to use the potty again. I know, I know, I'm supposed to want my baby to get potty trained.

Have you ever tried to potty train a child? It sucks.

BigSpeak was our easy kid. Hey, I'm not trying to pigonhole my kids, but I'm basising this on our years of scientific research. BigSpeak is the kid who slept through the night from day one, and left "it" (whatever "it" might be) alone when you told her to. She's the child who eats everything hapily and is generally easy to be around. Don't get me wrong, she has her moments, she just prefers to be agreeable most of the time.

Most family's get one kid like this, and the other kid is, well, not so much.

LittleSpeak is the "not so much" kid. She also, pretty much slept through the night from day one, she eats everything under the sun (as long as she's in the mood, otherwise, just put Ranch on it, cause everything is good w/Ranch, right?) So it's not like she's an awful or anything. But she is also the child who throws herself on the floor kicking and screaming when you tell her (or anyone in her general vicinity) "no". If you tell her to stay away from something, well you just issued yourself a challenge there. And when she's bored, mad, upset, etc...she's the kid who will come pinch you to get the fun going. Seriously. Actually, she'll usually pinch her sister cause then mom & sissy will pay attention. Smart kid.

LittleSpeak has decided she wants to potty train. She's wanted to do this for quite a while now. Whenever any of us head to the bathroom, she must join you! She wants to sit on her potty! She wants to play with the toilet paper! If you ask her if she wants to go, she'll tell you yes and head over.
We've done our encouraging; sitting w/books, singing, movies, the potty dance, rewards (like m&m's), but she hasn't figured out how to make herself go yet, so it's all moot. She tries, trust me. She can hold it forever, she just can't control the when yet. This is why I'm not that included to run her to the potty every 5 minutes. I know one day she'll just get it and that will be that.

This week, she's decided to start pulling off her diaper Every. Time. She. Goes. Pee.

Last week, there was a day that if I left her alone for even 30 seconds, when I came back, the diaper was off. I told her to try and tell mommy before she goes now and she nods enthusiastically. But like I said, she just doesn't know how to control it yet.

It's just a matter of time until she pulls it off to go.....................all over my rug.

Edited: This last weekend she pulled the diaper off with more than just pee in it. Niiiice. She also picked up the contents to show me. Also, Niiiice. She wasn't too pleased w/the texture cause she was shaking by the time I got there and got it back into the diaper. Hopefully, that will be the last time she picks up the contents and shares.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Binky Ba

DaddySpeak and I are proponents of the pacifier. If you’re anti them good for you, don’t suck on one.

Our opinions about pacifiers/thumb sucking comes from the fact that there has been quite a bit of thumb sucking by the kids in our families’ till late ages (5+). While we want our babies’ to be able to sooth themselves, we also don’t want the one thing that makes them feel better to be the reason they get teased by kids when they start school. We are not big proponents of older kids using a pacifier, so we have a plan for how to “break” them of their habit. At age 2, all the “binks” go into a box and get put on the porch at night. The Bink Fairy comes and takes the binks to a baby who needs them and leaves a “gift” that is only appropriate for a “big kid”.

This worked like a charm with BigSpeak. No problem at all.


LittleSpeak has started getting really attached to her bink (aka-pacifier). (We’ve always called them binks, but she refers to them as her “ba”.) A month or so ago she started asking for her ba. Before that, she seemed like she could take it or leave it; the only time she’d ask for it was when she wanted to do something like fall asleep in a place other than her bed, like the stroller or car. Once she started asking for it at random times I realized we needed to be cognitive about limiting it.
The limiting of her ba time has been the result of many of her recent tantrums. At first, she’d get so very PISSED OFF if you told her no when she asked for it; a half hour long tantrum comes to mind. Then she started to sneak it; she’d use a kitchen chair to be able to reach the back of the counter where we keep them. She’d get one, we’d take it away. Then she started to sneak them when she thought we weren’t around. Yes, she is smart enough to not just get the bink off the counter, but to take a few extra and hide them in various places in her playroom. She is also smart enough to put the chair back so (she thinks) we won’t know she’s done this; be afraid, be very, very afraid. We’re wise to her and make her go get them and give them back. At that point, she was allowed to have the bink when she went to her crib (naps & bedtime) and if she was hurt. A week or so ago, she started purposely hitting herself and telling you she had a boo-boo, while asking for her “ba”. When that started, I decided it was time to limit it to just the crib. Another round of tantrums ensued, but we’ve substituted w/ice packs (boo-boo bunnies, etc..) and she’s begun to accept that.

DaddySpeak is still giving it to her when I’m not around. He’ll have his own demons to deal with soon.

LittleSpeak turns 2 at the end of the month. We’ll probably wait a week or two, but sooner, rather than later that Bink Fairy is going to be visiting our house. I think LittleSpeak will be very cooperative about putting them out for the Fairy, but I don’t think she’s going to be too happy that those binks don't come back.

These days, when she wants a bink she’ll tell me she’s a baby and happily pop it into her mouth.
She’s growing up too fast.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

One if by Land, Two if by Sea! (What if they use email?)

Classic! Looks like it’s going to get taken onto the Bay itself; perfect! Maybe Jeff Probst could deliver it Survivor style (by helicopter) from the boat into Justin Herman Plaza.

Torch Watch 2008

I’m watching/listening to the coverage of the torch relay on the web right now. They’re showing a bus that was stopped by the crowd who believe the torch is located on the bus. I doubt it. There’s no cops anywhere near the bus, so I’m thinking it’s a ploy to try to drive them away from where it really is. It’s actually kind of funny, most of the media can’t find the torch right now. (update: they just located it on Van Ness!) They’ll probably announce the end of the run and then tell everyone the where they ran it. Maybe down in San Jose. LOL.

I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. I totally think that the protesters have the right to protest. I also think that China has major human rights violations, and therefore should not have been considered an appropriate venue for this event, unless they were to make concessions in that regard. In many ways the torch run has become a spectacle, it’s “torch watch” not “flame watch” cause they keep extinguishing the darn thing. And it’s not fair to the athletes or the torch bearers. It’s considered an honor to get to carry the torch, and to be accepted to compete in the games; aren’t the protests are taking that away from those people. I agree that human life is worth so much more than a torch run, But this is the Olympics; we’re all supposed to come together and ignore our political differences, right? When the difference is basic human rights, which, I agree, shouldn’t be ignored, then why the heck were they awarded the games in the first place? I know; Politics. Bah. The IOC can’t follow the directive to stay away from politics, why would you expect that anyone else would try to play along.
At the same time, one could argue that the IOC has done this cause a huge favor. In awarding the games to China, they’ve given this cause the world’s stage. In what other venue could you get this kind of coverage? The attention being given to the human rights issues related to China is unmatched right now. There are so many people who might have become so aware of these issues had it not been for the Olympics being awarded to China in the first place.

In the meantime, we’ll be entertained by watching the media do their dance trying to locate the thing.

Thursday, April 03, 2008


Or maybe it should be titled “lack of…” cause man have I checked out over here. I have spent my entire morning reading emails, updating facebook and reading blogs, cause I’m cool like that. I just have very little motivation for work anymore, go figure.

Bad case of the senioritis. Oh well, what they gonna do? Fire me? Tank You, I’ll be here all zee week folks, be sure to tip your bartenders and waitresses.

OK, so the effort area of my brain is a bit on the mush side right now, and in that vein here’s something else that requires little effort my part (but maximum reward for you dear internets, cause truly it’s all about you.) A little photo story, bout a girl & her dawg.

Just Hanging AroundUh Oh! Here Comes Trouble!
Trouble Has Arrived!Maybe she won't notice me.
Girl & Her Dawg!Here comes the love!
Too Much LoveThere better be a treat in it for me!

OHMYGAWD! I know you don't really care, but dude I can not tell you how much time I just spent working on that damn table so those pix & captions would layout correctly! I do web stuff, so posting a table, not normally a big deal, but OH.MY.GAWD! Apparently there's a bug in blogger related to table and even though I found the info and correct fix for it in the blogger groups it still took me like two hours to really get it to post correctly. I'm not kidding.

See internet I do love you.
I have to also comment; when we first got Merit, she was not a "kid" dog. We worked hard w/her to get her over that. However, she prefers the adults or bigger kids even knowing that the little ones are really the key to the "food train." Of course, DD2 is in lurve with all animals, especially Merit. Merit has been a very good sport (DD2 is the food train after all) but she doesn't have to enjoy it; as you can see here. Merit's expressions crack me up. I know that she and DD2 will be best buds and at some point it will become clear that Merit has become DD2's dog more than mine.