Sunday, April 27, 2008

Save the Drama for your Mama

Update on the current neighborhood Soap Opera:

BigSpeak (after receiving the inquisition from G’ma, Mama & Daddy in various ways and forms) doesn’t seem to recall there being any issue. Of course. My mom and I point blank asked her if K and her had a fight and then if she “hit” K. Got “no” answers in both cases. BigSpeak can be very sensitive, especially when it comes to G’ma & Mama. If she thinks we’re criticizing her she’ll get really teary, or clam up w/lots of “looks”. None of those things happened. DaddySpeak and I talked about it later and we think K made it up. If not, BigSpeak really didn’t get that anything had gone down. They could’ve been playing and K took something personally and BigSpeak didn’t realize, but I still really think it didn’t happen. BigSpeak isn’t stupid, she knows what hitting is and she would’ve told me if K said she didn’t want to play something anymore, she has before.

K’s mom brought it up the next day while the girls were at gymnastics. (Of course she did.) I didn’t tell her I thought her kid was lying, but I did tell her that, “Whatever did happen, BigSpeak doesn’t know something’s wrong.” After dissecting it some more she did indicate that she’s noticed that lately K “sometimes seems to make things up that she wants to be true.” I can’t ask my kid to apologize for something she may not have done; the message I’m sending her is that I don’t trust/believe her. I told K’s mom that if K was still upset I thought it was up to her to tell BigSpeak. I spoke to BigSpeak about being a good friend and that if K thinks she did/said something that hurt her feeling she should apologize, even if she didn’t mean to. I think that if K does tell her she has hurt feelings BigSpeak will apologize.


BigSpeak and K seemed fine at gymnastics.

On Wednesday at school the report was that they played the usual games w/the usual suspects. My feeling is that K told her mom what she thought her mom wanted to hear. K’s mom “role played” with her on the subject previously so who knows what K took from that.

What I took from this little episode:

I need to tread lightly when it comes to K’s mom, I like her, but I think she’s a bit overreactive. It’s up to the girls to work their friendships out and up to us mom’s to do the same. We’d all do well to stay out of each other’s way.