Saturday, May 23, 2009


Really??? SIX??? Already? Dam. It really does go by so fast.
And Big? I love you. More than you can know. You are the child who gave me the gift that is motherhood. You made us a family, so much more than a couple. You are my first and like I always tell you,
"You'll always be my baby."

Happy Birthday Big! I hope is so awesome!
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Monday, May 18, 2009

Bathing Suit Season; The Mom Suit

We have been having some very, very nice weather in our parts. Reminding us that summer is (pretty much here) right around the corner. Since we went to the beach last weekend AND it was hot I had to break down & put on THE BATHING SUIT.

I may have mentioned how I've put on a few pounds since my surgery. Like THIRTY!!!! I'm not exactly pleased about this, but I've been trying to tell myself it's going to come off once I get more mobile. As with most things about me, I seem to take 5x as long for everything, so I'm still not very mobile yet. Don't get me wrong, I am getting better, I am doing more, but I'm also still lugging around an additional 30 lbs these days. AND IT SUCKS!!! Now, let me tell you how I really feel about it.

To say I HATE putting on a bathing suit wouldn't begin to describe my feelings on this subject. Being a women who was born & raised in the US, I realize I am not alone in my feelings, and that my weight really doesn't have that much to do with it. It's body image, I get that. I really do. If you look back, you'll realized my most comfortable body is when I'm pregnant & huge. I LOVE the way I look pregnant. But I wrote that post already. I'm trying very hard not to give my daughters' body image issues (at least the ones I have). I prefer to the let the media do my dirty work for me. Seriously, it's why we don't push the food issue w/them, it's why I monitor how much juice, milk & water they get, etc...I want them to be healthy and comfortable in their own skin. As women, we deserve that, and I don't know how to do that for myself, so I'm doing my best to keep my daughters from ever getting there.

And this is where the "mom suit" comes in. I swore I would never wear one, but I do. If you don't know, a mom bathing suit, usually involves a skirted bottom and a full coverage top. It's the bottom that really makes it a mom suit. Land's End has really taken the suit up a notch in the last several years and made it much more main stream. Not sure if that's good or bad, but it does put me here, at 40, wearing a bathing suit I swore I never would. (I wore bikini's when pregnant, I am woman, hear/see me roar/grow!) All I need now is some soccer playing kids, and a minivan. One out of two at least.

I know for most women the mom suit comes into play when you're pregnant. You want something to cover your ever expanding arce (and stomach). And then after you've had the baby, you want something to cover your stretch marks, cellulite and flab. Childbirth is hell, and that's not even the labor part. For me, it actually started much earlier, and for much different reasons; bikini lines. Apparently, I am descended from a long line gorillas or something. Ok, seriously, all women have to shave, down there, if they want to wear a bathing suit. We're all adults here and know that. I have very curly hair, so when my hair grows it grows in a curl, which makes me very, very prone to ingrown hairs. Suffice to say, I don't think the word HATE quite covers how I feel about the shaving thing. About 15 years ago I decided forget it & bought some board shorts to wear over my bathing suit. I wore a bikini top, so it looks "sporty." I keep telling myself that, so work w/me here. It worked pretty well until after I had a baby. Then any muscle tone I had left in my midsection disappeared. Also, I wasn't wearing something that allowed my flab to hang over my bottoms. Your welcome for the visual. So I moved to the mom suit. I did it w/the stipulation that it would be temporary, you know, once I lost the baby weight. But here we are, 6 years later still wearing it.

If you need me I'll be driving my kids to soccer practice, in my minivan while listening to NASCAR and wearing my mom suit.


Little wouldn't quit w/the disruption on the packing. You know it's all about her, so laundry, cooking dinner, packing bags, not really her thing. I finally told her that if she didn't knock it off she was going to stay home w/Daddy for the weekend and Big & I would go to the beach. That kicked her butt into gear. Finally, something worked.

Then Daddy got home, and she stuck to him like glue. He couldn't get the kid to leave him alone for two seconds. Since he's trying to load the car, she's continually getting stepped on, smashing fingers in the ice chest, you get the idea. Once the car has been opened up she is IN HER SEAT & will NOT get out. I decide maybe she's overtired & hungry, so I warm up diner for the girls so we can finished getting the car loaded up. (Sausage & Quiche, they love these things.)

She counts out loud: "One, two, three" (pops three bites of sausage in her mouth,) "One, two, three" pops three bites of quiche in her mouth, required amounts to have completed dinner in our house) and declares herself done.
I told her that was fine, she didn't have to eat anymore if she really was full, but if she didn't eat all her dinner she couldn't get a jamba juice on the way. (Bribes)

Little: "That's fine. I don't want a Jamba Juice." (hops in open car, starts putting on seatbelt, and will not get out.)

I finally realized that she was sure I was going to leave her home. She figured as long as Daddy kept telling her he was going then she was, but just to make sure she was getting in her seat & NOT getting out.

Guess it's nice to know I have some clout around here after all.


Got a few little posts to share from this weekend & such. (NO interwebs again at the beach!!! The humanity!!!)

So anywho, on Friday I'm trying to pack and I tell the girls to pick up the playroom. "No one's leaving for the beach until the house is packed & picked up!"
Big is doing her part, she gets that I don't really care how they pick it up, just that I can see the floor when it's done.
Little, on the other hand, is taking toys out when Big puts them away. In fact, she waits till Big has finished putting away, say a 100+ piece puzzle & then dumps out the box. (Lovely child.)
Big is, understandably, kinda flipping out over this.
I call Little into the kitchen and tell her she needs to help PUT AWAY. She tells me, "No." So...

Me: "You need to help our you're going to get a time out & go take a nap in your room."
Little: (hand on hip) "Fine! I'll go to my room!"

And then I died from laughing.

She's THREE (barely) and she calls my bluff every time!

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Recession Era Cleaning! And other uplifting stories.

Well based on the title of my last post, this one ought to be entitled something like, "Someone Must Be Crapping Butterflies" No? My point is that it just keeps getting better round here. If you follow my twitter you may have noticed that I am now the "evil mommy." You missed that? Well, let's just say that I'm finding new uses for cleaning products all the time!

Little is still on her rampage and today started in w/the spitting again. To be honest, I don't even remember what her issue was at the time. But by the time she was being punished I was done with her. She spit 2x and got warnings and I was just at the end of my rope. She's THREE! If I can't get control of her now (or let's be honest, I'm trying to teach her to control herself) what the heck will I do when she's 13??? So I grabbed the bottle of hand soap from the kitchen counter & walked into the (time out) dinning room. She was screaming and spitting and just generally being lovely while standing in front of (she wouldn't stay in) the time out chair. So, I stuck the little pump into her mouth & gave it a press and she promptly
It got her attention, that's for sure. She then spent some time doing some more spitting; trying to get the soap out her mouth. Yes, I do see the irony of my actions. And I was fearful for a time that she was going to force herself to barf over it. That would've taught me, huh. In the end, I was able to get her to calm down so that I could help her rinse out her mouth w/out making it worse. She didn't like it, so we'll see if it's a deterrent or not in the future. I'm hopeful, but not that optimistic.
All the time this was happening, she was devastated that I did it to her. You could see the look in her eyes. I'm the one who's supposed to love her no matter what awful thing she does or how far she pushes me and I did THIS to her? I know that I'm teaching her boundaries and appropriate responses, etc...and that if I don't, I'm not doing her any favors. I totally get that. But it doesn't make me feel any less guilty about it. I've tried giving her chances to do the right thing, rewarding good behavior and even hugging her to try and help her reset. What I want to do when this stuff is going down is really just hug her super tight and somehow make her understand that I really do love her so very much and to please stop trying to make me prove it to her. I hate this part of parenting. I hate having to punish her. I hate feeling like I'm not giving her sister enough attention (cause she's the "good one") and I hate that she lacks the control to stop herself and I don't seem to know how to help her find it. Sigh