Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Recession Era Cleaning! And other uplifting stories.

Well based on the title of my last post, this one ought to be entitled something like, "Someone Must Be Crapping Butterflies" No? My point is that it just keeps getting better round here. If you follow my twitter you may have noticed that I am now the "evil mommy." You missed that? Well, let's just say that I'm finding new uses for cleaning products all the time!

Little is still on her rampage and today started in w/the spitting again. To be honest, I don't even remember what her issue was at the time. But by the time she was being punished I was done with her. She spit 2x and got warnings and I was just at the end of my rope. She's THREE! If I can't get control of her now (or let's be honest, I'm trying to teach her to control herself) what the heck will I do when she's 13??? So I grabbed the bottle of hand soap from the kitchen counter & walked into the (time out) dinning room. She was screaming and spitting and just generally being lovely while standing in front of (she wouldn't stay in) the time out chair. So, I stuck the little pump into her mouth & gave it a press and she promptly
It got her attention, that's for sure. She then spent some time doing some more spitting; trying to get the soap out her mouth. Yes, I do see the irony of my actions. And I was fearful for a time that she was going to force herself to barf over it. That would've taught me, huh. In the end, I was able to get her to calm down so that I could help her rinse out her mouth w/out making it worse. She didn't like it, so we'll see if it's a deterrent or not in the future. I'm hopeful, but not that optimistic.
All the time this was happening, she was devastated that I did it to her. You could see the look in her eyes. I'm the one who's supposed to love her no matter what awful thing she does or how far she pushes me and I did THIS to her? I know that I'm teaching her boundaries and appropriate responses, etc...and that if I don't, I'm not doing her any favors. I totally get that. But it doesn't make me feel any less guilty about it. I've tried giving her chances to do the right thing, rewarding good behavior and even hugging her to try and help her reset. What I want to do when this stuff is going down is really just hug her super tight and somehow make her understand that I really do love her so very much and to please stop trying to make me prove it to her. I hate this part of parenting. I hate having to punish her. I hate feeling like I'm not giving her sister enough attention (cause she's the "good one") and I hate that she lacks the control to stop herself and I don't seem to know how to help her find it. Sigh


nikki said...

I have a 50 pound 5 (on Thursday!) year old who is the most stubborn creature ever. If he decides he's not doing something, there will be a huge battle. He's so much like his father, it's not even funny.

Genevieve said...

Don't be afraid to be the rule-enforcing mom as well as the protector mom. After all, they're really the same thing.

Little sounds hilarious - and dangerously bright. My 2nd was labeled "gifted" (which I didn't need any test for, but it helped them give her extra stuff at school so she didn't decide to go into nuclear physic experiments in grade 2 or something) and we had to figure out what to do with her. She identified a piece by Shostakovich at age 17 mos, for gods sake.

There are 2 things our psychologist, specializing in giftedness, told us. First, for discipline, instead of punishing, warn ONCE, then take something away. And mean it. Take something you can take away immediately, like a fave toy. She gets it back after 24 hours.

Second, with a kid that smart, DON'T engage in arguments because chances are she'll box you into a corner and whoop your butt, which is not good in mommyland.

Good luck!