Thursday, April 30, 2009

More sunshine and rainbows!

Well 3 has gotten off to an officious start.
Let me start this off by stating that everyone I know w/young kids (3 & under) seems to be having similar experiences. All of our kids seem to have freaked the F out. I don't know if it's the moon phase or air pressure change or what, but in the last week it seems like all of our kids have turned into complete THREE YEAR OLDS (aka-monsters!!!). You know what they say about 3? It's 2 w/a year of experience. (I'll be here all zee week, don't forget to tip your bartenders and waitresses!)

So that being said; Little bit the crap out of me last night. You may remember we had some issues in the past w/the biting. (You know one of the catalysts that got us into a kiddie shrink for a while). But somehow this was worse. Maybe it was because she's bigger (and stronger) or maybe it's because she hasn't really pulled anything like this in quite a while, I really feel like I've failed her. Is that weird? Shouldn't I be pissed at her?

Here's what happened:
We started the day w/her in snitch anyway. My girlfriend w/the twins came over in the AM which was good cause she was just getting into stuff to push my buttons. So our morning was covered. In the afternoon we had gymnastics (also good, blows off lots of steam) and then M and planned to hit the outlet mall which now has a Crocs store. We dropped our car off at our house and in the 5 mins it took to get there Little had fallen asleep. Considering her mood earlier in the day I should've had bells going off and LET HER SLEEP. But it seemed silly to take two cars, so I woke her and we piled into M's van. Once there I realized I had forgotten a stroller (restraint device) of any type and then was reminded the entire time, why I don't shop w/both my kids. OMG! I suppose they weren't any worse than any one else's kids, but kids running around in a store drives me nuts! Just writing about it stresses me out. I can feel my BP rising right now. So anyway we head home after I spent 30 mins yelling at my kids. We get back to our house and Little runs to the grass so she can stand (safely) and wave bye. I tell her to come in and she not only ignores me, but runs down to the side walk & starts running in circles. (Remember what I said about pushing buttons?) I (more sternly) tell her to "get in the house NOW!", which she ignores. So I get her and march her by the arm into the house. Well, this was not the response she was looking for, so she's trying to hit at me & then tries to spit me (lovely new habit, she learned it at school). Now we're in our doorway so I give her smack on the butt (not a hard one, but a smack still) and tell her, "You don't hit or spit at Mommy!" She then turns around to me and screams, "YOU DON'T HIT ME MOMMY!" To which I reply, "You don't talk to Mommy like that! You're getting a time out." She's less than pleased and isn't going to participate if she can help it, so I pick her up to take her to the time out chair. Mind you, my back has been a mess since Sunday, so picking her up is really something I should be avoiding (and this scenario shows a lot of why my back is taking so long to heal.) So I pick her up so that her front is laying across my arm (my hand is holding between her legs and my arm is supporting most of her weight). She retaliates by clamping onto the inside of my arm WITH. HER. TEETH! She didn't get a big chunk either. No, she got like a "pinch" so I couldn't pull her off w/out ripping the skin. Instead I go to hold her like that while yelling at her to let go. When she finally did, well as you might imagine, my arm modeling career is done. I gave her 3 more smacks on the bum (she was unfazed) and put her into the time out chair. She's screaming and generally carrying on (I can only imagine what the neighbors must think.) And, cue Daddy walking in. He took one look at me and said, "What's going on?" I didn't say anything I just gave me a look and then showed him my arm. He was shocked (by now the bite, was red & purple and very swollen). I informed him that I was "done" for the evening, got a pain pill (for my back) and laid down on the couch.

Daddy, the saint that he is, took Little out back. She continued her tantrum for at least another 30 minutes. One part resulted in her spinning herself in circles and carrying on, while sitting on the deck. Her feet were bare, so that resulted in many large splinters. She, of course, wanted Mommy to get them out & make her feel better. Daddy told her, "No way, not till you apologize." This, resulted in more tantrum. Eventually she agreed to apologize & I worked on her foot till I had enough wood to build a small fire. Then we were done with the episode.

Now, while I'm not a proponent of spanking/hitting in general, I do think there are times/situations when it's warranted. In hindsight, I think I might have been better served w/some liquid soap in the mouth, but still the spanking is not what I'm feeling guilty about. No, I'm just sad because I don't know how to help her get past this. I feel like I'm failing her, cause she's only 3 and I should be able to teach her how to funnel these feelings more productively. I guess I'm feeling as frustrated as she does.

Today, after school, she was back to her funny, goofy, sweet self. Of course.


m&ms_mommy said...

She's 3. There's not much funneling of anger you can teach a 3 yr-old, so I wouldn't beat myself over this too much :-)