Do you think they're sinc'd w/goggle maps too?

When we eat LittleSpeak now sits in a booster seat on a regular chair. This seat has an attachable tray but she’s really too big for it to fit on the seat anymore. Tonight at dinner she wanted it and DaddySpeak put it on for her then she got upset because it was too tight. Being upset she asked for her “ba”. I told her no, and asked her if she was a baby. As usual, she smiled hugely and shook her head no. The following conversation ensued:

BigSpeak: LittleSpeak are you going to send your binks to the babies soon?
LittleSpeaks nods and then shakes her head no. She’s understandably a bit torn about the whole concept still.

BigSpeak: The bink fairy is going to come get the binks and bring you a present! (Turns to me) Does the Bink Fairy come after you go to bed?

MommySpeak: Yup.

BigSpeak: Do you know what she looks like?

MommySpeak: No, she won’t come unless everyone’s in bed so we’ve never seen her.

BigSpeak: But she has wings cause she's a fairy.

MommySpeak: That's correct.

BigSpeak: All fairy's have wings. Angels have wings. They have halos too!

MommySpeak: Yes they do.

DaddySpeak: Angels can float you know.

BigSpeak: They can? Like in the water?

MommySpeak: No in the air.

DaddySpeak: Angels can pretty much go anywhere. They can even float through walls.

BigSpeak: Their halos let them float. I hope they don't get lost, what if they get lost?

MommySpeak & DaddySpeak: (in unison) The halo works as a GPS too.
Dude, I can’t make this stuff up.

Potty Watch 2008

Yeah, we're still avoiding the potty training issue. Shhh! Don't let her hear us, she'll try to use the potty again. I know, I know, I'm supposed to want my baby to get potty trained.

Have you ever tried to potty train a child? It sucks.

BigSpeak was our easy kid. Hey, I'm not trying to pigonhole my kids, but I'm basising this on our years of scientific research. BigSpeak is the kid who slept through the night from day one, and left "it" (whatever "it" might be) alone when you told her to. She's the child who eats everything hapily and is generally easy to be around. Don't get me wrong, she has her moments, she just prefers to be agreeable most of the time.

Most family's get one kid like this, and the other kid is, well, not so much.

LittleSpeak is the "not so much" kid. She also, pretty much slept through the night from day one, she eats everything under the sun (as long as she's in the mood, otherwise, just put Ranch on it, cause everything is good w/Ranch, right?) So it's not like she's an awful or anything. But she is also the child who throws herself on the floor kicking and screaming when you tell her (or anyone in her general vicinity) "no". If you tell her to stay away from something, well you just issued yourself a challenge there. And when she's bored, mad, upset, etc...she's the kid who will come pinch you to get the fun going. Seriously. Actually, she'll usually pinch her sister cause then mom & sissy will pay attention. Smart kid.

LittleSpeak has decided she wants to potty train. She's wanted to do this for quite a while now. Whenever any of us head to the bathroom, she must join you! She wants to sit on her potty! She wants to play with the toilet paper! If you ask her if she wants to go, she'll tell you yes and head over.
We've done our encouraging; sitting w/books, singing, movies, the potty dance, rewards (like m&m's), but she hasn't figured out how to make herself go yet, so it's all moot. She tries, trust me. She can hold it forever, she just can't control the when yet. This is why I'm not that included to run her to the potty every 5 minutes. I know one day she'll just get it and that will be that.

This week, she's decided to start pulling off her diaper Every. Time. She. Goes. Pee.

Last week, there was a day that if I left her alone for even 30 seconds, when I came back, the diaper was off. I told her to try and tell mommy before she goes now and she nods enthusiastically. But like I said, she just doesn't know how to control it yet.

It's just a matter of time until she pulls it off to go.....................all over my rug.

Edited: This last weekend she pulled the diaper off with more than just pee in it. Niiiice. She also picked up the contents to show me. Also, Niiiice. She wasn't too pleased w/the texture cause she was shaking by the time I got there and got it back into the diaper. Hopefully, that will be the last time she picks up the contents and shares.

Binky Ba

DaddySpeak and I are proponents of the pacifier. If you’re anti them good for you, don’t suck on one.

Our opinions about pacifiers/thumb sucking comes from the fact that there has been quite a bit of thumb sucking by the kids in our families’ till late ages (5+). While we want our babies’ to be able to sooth themselves, we also don’t want the one thing that makes them feel better to be the reason they get teased by kids when they start school. We are not big proponents of older kids using a pacifier, so we have a plan for how to “break” them of their habit. At age 2, all the “binks” go into a box and get put on the porch at night. The Bink Fairy comes and takes the binks to a baby who needs them and leaves a “gift” that is only appropriate for a “big kid”.

This worked like a charm with BigSpeak. No problem at all.

---------------------------------------

LittleSpeak has started getting really attached to her bink (aka-pacifier). (We’ve always called them binks, but she refers to them as her “ba”.) A month or so ago she started asking for her ba. Before that, she seemed like she could take it or leave it; the only time she’d ask for it was when she wanted to do something like fall asleep in a place other than her bed, like the stroller or car. Once she started asking for it at random times I realized we needed to be cognitive about limiting it.
The limiting of her ba time has been the result of many of her recent tantrums. At first, she’d get so very PISSED OFF if you told her no when she asked for it; a half hour long tantrum comes to mind. Then she started to sneak it; she’d use a kitchen chair to be able to reach the back of the counter where we keep them. She’d get one, we’d take it away. Then she started to sneak them when she thought we weren’t around. Yes, she is smart enough to not just get the bink off the counter, but to take a few extra and hide them in various places in her playroom. She is also smart enough to put the chair back so (she thinks) we won’t know she’s done this; be afraid, be very, very afraid. We’re wise to her and make her go get them and give them back. At that point, she was allowed to have the bink when she went to her crib (naps & bedtime) and if she was hurt. A week or so ago, she started purposely hitting herself and telling you she had a boo-boo, while asking for her “ba”. When that started, I decided it was time to limit it to just the crib. Another round of tantrums ensued, but we’ve substituted w/ice packs (boo-boo bunnies, etc..) and she’s begun to accept that.

DaddySpeak is still giving it to her when I’m not around. He’ll have his own demons to deal with soon.

LittleSpeak turns 2 at the end of the month. We’ll probably wait a week or two, but sooner, rather than later that Bink Fairy is going to be visiting our house. I think LittleSpeak will be very cooperative about putting them out for the Fairy, but I don’t think she’s going to be too happy that those binks don't come back.

These days, when she wants a bink she’ll tell me she’s a baby and happily pop it into her mouth.
Sigh.
She’s growing up too fast.

One if by Land, Two if by Sea! (What if they use email?)

Classic! Looks like it’s going to get taken onto the Bay itself; perfect! Maybe Jeff Probst could deliver it Survivor style (by helicopter) from the boat into Justin Herman Plaza.

Torch Watch 2008

I’m watching/listening to the coverage of the torch relay on the web right now. They’re showing a bus that was stopped by the crowd who believe the torch is located on the bus. I doubt it. There’s no cops anywhere near the bus, so I’m thinking it’s a ploy to try to drive them away from where it really is. It’s actually kind of funny, most of the media can’t find the torch right now. (update: they just located it on Van Ness!) They’ll probably announce the end of the run and then tell everyone the where they ran it. Maybe down in San Jose. LOL.

I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. I totally think that the protesters have the right to protest. I also think that China has major human rights violations, and therefore should not have been considered an appropriate venue for this event, unless they were to make concessions in that regard. In many ways the torch run has become a spectacle, it’s “torch watch” not “flame watch” cause they keep extinguishing the darn thing. And it’s not fair to the athletes or the torch bearers. It’s considered an honor to get to carry the torch, and to be accepted to compete in the games; aren’t the protests are taking that away from those people. I agree that human life is worth so much more than a torch run, But this is the Olympics; we’re all supposed to come together and ignore our political differences, right? When the difference is basic human rights, which, I agree, shouldn’t be ignored, then why the heck were they awarded the games in the first place? I know; Politics. Bah. The IOC can’t follow the directive to stay away from politics, why would you expect that anyone else would try to play along.
At the same time, one could argue that the IOC has done this cause a huge favor. In awarding the games to China, they’ve given this cause the world’s stage. In what other venue could you get this kind of coverage? The attention being given to the human rights issues related to China is unmatched right now. There are so many people who might have become so aware of these issues had it not been for the Olympics being awarded to China in the first place.

In the meantime, we’ll be entertained by watching the media do their dance trying to locate the thing.

Motivation

Or maybe it should be titled “lack of…” cause man have I checked out over here. I have spent my entire morning reading emails, updating facebook and reading blogs, cause I’m cool like that. I just have very little motivation for work anymore, go figure.

Bad case of the senioritis. Oh well, what they gonna do? Fire me? Tank You, I’ll be here all zee week folks, be sure to tip your bartenders and waitresses.

OK, so the effort area of my brain is a bit on the mush side right now, and in that vein here’s something else that requires little effort my part (but maximum reward for you dear internets, cause truly it’s all about you.) A little photo story, bout a girl & her dawg.

Just Hanging Around	Uh Oh! Here Comes Trouble!
Trouble Has Arrived!	Maybe she won't notice me.
Girl & Her Dawg!	Here comes the love!
Too Much Love	There better be a treat in it for me!

OHMYGAWD! I know you don't really care, but dude I can not tell you how much time I just spent working on that damn table so those pix & captions would layout correctly! I do web stuff, so posting a table, not normally a big deal, but OH.MY.GAWD! Apparently there's a bug in blogger related to table and even though I found the info and correct fix for it in the blogger groups it still took me like two hours to really get it to post correctly. I'm not kidding.

See internet I do love you.
I have to also comment; when we first got Merit, she was not a "kid" dog. We worked hard w/her to get her over that. However, she prefers the adults or bigger kids even knowing that the little ones are really the key to the "food train." Of course, DD2 is in lurve with all animals, especially Merit. Merit has been a very good sport (DD2 is the food train after all) but she doesn't have to enjoy it; as you can see here. Merit's expressions crack me up. I know that she and DD2 will be best buds and at some point it will become clear that Merit has become DD2's dog more than mine.

Cleaning House, so to speak

Big News

And now for the most anti-climactic moment of the month…da, da, da, DA! I quit my job today! No, this is not a joke, April Fool’s is tomorrow. I know big surprise. My last day will be April 24th and then, God help us, I will officially be a Stay at Home Mom (SAHM). Right now I’m flying high on my "giving notice excitement" (I love giving notice, it’s such a sense of freedom!) I’m sure two weeks into this, I’ll be begging for them to take me back (I don’t think they’ll want me). DD2 turns two 3 days after I do this, so I will be staying at home right after my kids are done with their baby years. I think that means I’m doing this for them vs. for me.

Oh, yes, and for my love of you internets. You will benefit from more posts and I imagine more fodder for posts. All that time with the two year old, what else could come from it?

………………

Computer Issues (AKA Death vs. Taxes, I may just choose death)

Yesterday, I finally sat down to start our taxes, don’t want to rush into anything you know. It took me two hours to ascertain that the computer can not locate last years return. BAH!

I don’t know if you remember a couple months ago we had a big storm that knocked out our power (and our back fence, which also is still jimmied together, I see a theme emerging). The resulting power surge killed our CPU. It was fine, we have like 4 hard drives backing everything up 2-3 times. Seriously. We pulled out an old CPU which was loaned to us by a friend.

In Silicon Valley everyone pretty much has extra computers, parts and
accessories around their house. Seriously, it’s part of our geek code
here.

So that was all fine, right? Well other then photos we really haven’t tried to access the old files too much and last night when we did, I can’t find the one I need, of course. But hey, the text for my wedding invites, no problem. So I’m pretty sure I also saved this file on my laptop, which is having WiFi issues since we returned from our Cabo trip. Fine, I’ll lug it up the stairs and plug it in to the modem MANUALLY. The humanity of it! In the process of doing this, I found that the laptop is having driver problems (I suspect it may actually be Vista problems, but I don’t know for sure) and can not locate any networks anywhere at anytime. What I do know is that I will now have to spend some time on the phone with someone from Bangladesh and it's going to suck! Fun that I am so looking forward to. I also managed to set it up so that the CPU was not talking to the modem for a while as well. Big Fun! I love playing IT geek when I NEED to be doing something else. After two hours of all of this, I did finally get the CPU talking to the Internets again, but I was done. I loaded some pix to our Google photos and called it a day.

Tonight I get to re-enter all our personal information to start our taxes for this year.

And to really spice things up on Friday, I'll probably call Bangladesh. I'm just saying...

So how was your weekend?

Since I loaded some new photos I’ll share. This is my favorite of both of them together. Taken in Feb., when the outlaws were visiting.

Not Quite so Dramatic this time.

A little melodramatic no? Yeah, I know, I get that way once in a while. It’s more or less passed. When it happens I feel like it I write it down & get it out maybe it’ll go away. I’m not sure it helps, other than to prove I’m mentally ill (and help my kids have me committed some day.) But, whatever. I was in the thick of a very bad time with my back. I believe I peaked yesterday. God, I hope that was the peak. I spent almost all of yesterday in bed on drugs. I was pretty good this morning, driving in the car put me backward for sure, but now I seem to be better. Vicodin is, once again, one of my very best friends evah! I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it’s passed now. It was awful.

Work has been super busy, which hasn’t helped things, but all of this business should soon be slowing down. On MONDAY I can finally tell you my BIG NEWS and then, hopefully there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. After all this, I’m sure it will be very anticlimactic. Ok, back to work, just wanted to let you know I’m ok & I haven’t done anything like thrown myself down a flight of stairs or something.

yeah, I think it's time to up the meds again

Usually I write about the funny, the odd or the ordinary in my life.

I try to avoid the darkness I sometimes feel. Lately, that darkness has been hanging out closer to the surface. Today is one of the days I’m having trouble holding it off. I don’t like to write about it. Almost as if I don’t acknowledge it, it doesn’t exist.

I wish it were so easy.

I try not to give into it, but late at night it overwhelms me. It envelops me and if I give into it I fear I might fall into a dark pit forever. Just falling, falling, like Alice in a never-ending rabbit hole. Just blackness.

I hope that if I write tonight, maybe that will chip away at the power it seems to have over me. I’m not sure it matters. I hate this sense of helplessness I feel toward it.

I have a big change coming up in my life. It’s been taking shape for a while now and it’s finally coming to fruition. Next week I’ll be able to tell you more. But I believe it may be why the darkness is near now. It a good change. It’s something I’ve been working toward. It’s positive. But it is a big change. And I fear change. Outwardly I seem fine, but on the inside, I’m a mess.

I get overwhelmed and the darkness sees the weakness and waits nearby to try and work it’s way into me. It threatens my happiness. It makes me question my abilities, my desires….I hate this darkness. It knows and it’s waits. It waits for the time I’m weak enough to try and take hold of me fully. I think that’s why I have trouble sleeping, why I’ll play mindless games on the computer. I need to block feeling anything, and I want to be completely exhausted so I won’t be able to feel that darkness once I get into bed. I want to hit that pillow & be out. Otherwise, it's like I can feel it. It's waiting. The darkness, it's patient, and it's near.

Things I love--AKA Love Thursday Style

Meet Pancho & Speedy

(need I say more? Yeah, we'll be sending out Cinco De Mayo cards this year.)

Things I Hate!

• I hate 4 PM.
  
• I have an awesome day w/my girls, but 4 PM hits and it's like someone hit a switch. The whining, the screeching, the drama, and that's just me. Seriously, I just don't get it. It can take a great day of 8 hours that fly by and dissolve it into 2 that seem to last all day and make me feel like mom of the year.
• My Job
• They don't pay me enough to deal w/the idiots I'm working with; I know that goes against my do not talk negatively about work rule, but damn some people have no regard for others. Let's just say I got a really rude (insulting) email at the end of th day on Monday. Even though I vowed not to let it bother me and consider the source, I'm still stewing over it. Grrr!...I'm working on this one (remember my "big news" from a while back ago? Soon, I may have an announcement. I'm just saying...)
• Sharing computers
• I'm a selfish bee-yoch when it comes to my bathroom & my computer. Knowing this, it's obvious that I love my husband very, very much when you consider we share both of these. I find these to be extremely personal areas of my life (yes, my computer is very personal, I have it all arranged just so and it drives me ape shit when someone removes a shortcut or adds software or something! It's up there w/putting the toilet paper roll on wrong.) I'm moving on, I could rant for hours on this one.
• Giving up Chocolate
• Sigh, it looks like I'm going to have to. It's becoming more and more apparent that I'm having a really hard time w/chocolate. I've realized that I seem to be getting reflux from my mochas now. If that isn't a sign I don't know what is. Bah!
  

That's it for now (cause now I'm super depressed). Isn't it enough? Sigh.

'Éirinn go Brách

I have these totally adorable pix of the girls that I took this AM of them all in their green, but no way to post them right now! BAH.

That statement right there could describe my life right now. I have the materials/drive/what not to make things happen & technology/tools are preventing me from doing it. And so is my life. I'm tired, we had a crazy busy weekend and it was fun, but it was crazy busy and I have so many things on my plate that I'm overwhelmed and blah, blah, blah, I know you aren't really interested in listening to me complain, but damn this girl needs a nap (and an IT guy, maybe a finance manager to pay our bills, a cleaning service, etc....)

So I hope to post more later; on my ambitious side I'm hoping to jump onto the Fun Monday bandwagon and write more about our Cabo trip and post the St. Paddy's Day photos of my girls. Realistically: Happy St. Paddy's Day, raise a glass of green beer (seriously, stick to the grasshoppers or Irish Cream, green beer makes you pee green, which, seriously, is gross) and hopefully you'll more than one post from me this week.

Sláinte!

Baby, It’s Cold Outside…

Ok, if you live anywhere in the US, but the West Coast you can pick yourself up off the floor now. I know it’s not cold here compared to where you live, but for me 67 being the high is not cutting it anymore. I got used the mid-80s thing pretty quickly and now this is an rude reminder that it is not summer yet.

Oh Yeah! Hi, yes, we’re back, we’ve been back since the weekend, but I’m still trying to get back into the swing of things. So, um, sorry I’ve been absent, no our plane didn’t crash or anything.

Our trip was super fun & I totally intend to write more on it, but I’m swamped at work (of course) so I need to get a couple things done & then I’ll write you a good post; all about warm, breezy days, whales waving at us, sleeping in and cabana boys bringing super-fresh sushi and swirled margaritas. YUM! If I close my eyes I can almost feel the warmth of the sun on my skin right now. Almost.

Salute!

Hola Chicas & Chicos!

Let's all give a cheer to Senior Greenberg's for not only providing internet access, but FREE access for paying customers (1 hr max, if I apruptly get cut off you'll know why). So we made it to Cabo in spite of the fact that we missed our plane (cab never showed up and yes, we did cut it too close). We ended up buying tickets to LA via Southwest and then from LA to Cabo via Alaska. And just to be clear, the folks at Alaska (especially Linda in SJ and some guy in LA who's name escapes me for now, but hopefully I will remember cause) they both went out of their way to try and "fix" our day for us. And let us also mention the nice lady working the bar at SJ airport who kept our glasses full while we wait to head out. When we did get here we were feeling a bit ragged (having been up since 4 AM!) so it was very nice to arrive at our hotel and see that it really is super posh. We have a view of the pool and the Pacific. I can not believe how large the waves are here ! There's no swimming at our beach, but it's not an issue. DaddySpeak is a really good swimmer and tends to disregard those warnings sometimes, but not this time. He couldn't get over the drop off on the beach. It's the result of the waves.

My first impression of the Los Cabos area was that it looks a lot like home during the summer. That's because we basically flew down the San Andreas fault. But the best thing was first thing in the AM DS goes out on our balcony & OMG we got to see a pod of whales go by. Same thing this AM, so we're foregoing the whale watching boats since we can watch them for free from our room.

Yesterday we walked around a lot, checked things out, went on our obligatory "hotel tour". Our host was really cool, he realized right off we were not interested, and cut us lose right off. In the afternoon I hung by the pool and drank swirled margaritas. I perdict they will be the new popular drink down here by the time I leave. Last night we went out. The wind here is COLD!!! So we ended up eating in a restuarant that was relatively empty to be inside; Captain Fish. We ordered oysters on the half shell & were kinda feeling a bit "taken" since it was $10 for a half doz when we pay $1 each at home. But then they brought them out. OMG! I've never seen oysters this large before. One of them was so large it could've eaten us! That alone could've been my diner, but we split dinner too. Then we went bar hopping. We started a CaboWabo which was fun. The crowd was our age so it was good. After a couple margaritas there I was feeling no pain, I had started the drink a rita, drink a bottle of water, but the ritas were ahead of me. So I stopped. We headed to Giggling Marlin, where we danced for a while & DS did a couple of jello shots. (Bad Idea.) Then we headed to Squid Row where we were some of the old folks there (it's Spring Break here!) Well, us and a half doz dirty old men. It was ok, but a lot of the kids there were sloppy drunk, so that part was lame. We danced for a while there, DS did a couple more jello shots and we headed home.

We were home before midnight. DS over did it.

I mentioned to him at the beginning of the evening to remember we need to pace ourselves, and by the time we were headed home, I was sobered up. I'm sure I wouldn't have passed a DUI check, but my buzz had more or less worn off. DS, on the other hand, had the spins. He got so sick, that we know now, that
1) housekeeping does not work 24 hrs at our resort and
2) the only bucket like item in our room is the ice bucket.

It was a long night, part of which he spent next to the toilet, but he was good as new today and has eaten & everything. I had a very expensive (but worth every penny) spa day today; mani, pedi, & facial at the same time AND a back & neck massage. It was lovely, and NOW I really feel like I'm on vacation. Tomorrow, DS is going fishing, I'll probably lay by the pool all day. On Wed, we're scheduled for a snorkleing booze cruise (not sure that's a great combo, but we'll see) and we're going to go sign up for the sunset cruise in a bit here.

We are having a blast, so I raise a swirled rita to you internet & hopefully you'll hear back from me again soon this week.

Hola! From What Better Be Sunny Cabo!

After some research DaddySpeak and I determined there does not seem to be a Starbucks in Cabo San Lucas, Gasp! I know, I was shocked too! I had no idea we were headed somewhere so remote! Anywho, the resort we're staying at will charge us like $20 a day for internet service, so we are going to take a true step back in time & travel without a laptop! Oh, sorry, guess I should've warned you to sit down first. Soooo, if we find that there is an internet cafe there then you will realize this little post is moot. But if you just came over here and this is what you got, (Yes, I flake on Fun Monday, sorry, but...) you know those Corona commercials? That's me right now! And let me tell you after the day I just had (it's almost 2 AM & I have a 6 AM flight what does that tell you?) I NEED this vacation.

I will however miss the girls desperately, so to deal with that I promise to drink an abundance of tequila. Cheers! Salute! Adios!

It's 84 and Sunny in Cabo today!

And tomorrow, and the next day, and as far as the forecast out. I will be in Cabo as of Saturday and I'm so antsy to get there I can hardly stand it!!! Warm sun, sand, cabana boys w/ umbrella drinks for me & DaddySpeak. (Ok, he can have Cabana Girls bringing him his drinks, but only if there's an umbrella in them and if the girls are at least as old as me. ;-)

I can. not. wait! I will miss my girls so very, very much though. But SUN! And UMBRELLA DRINKS! more later....

Starbucks Closed!!!

Did you know that Starbucks closed tonight for 3 hours????

Every single Starbucks in the Nation was closed.

WTF???? Just Wrong People.

Luckily, I was forward thinking and headed over to my local Barnes & Nobel café.
I’m nothing if not resourceful.

Fun Monday!

I’m Back!
The lovely Mariposa is hosting this week and has chosen a topic I’m interested in participating in.

(1) Please share to us how the NAME of your BLOG was made? I can't wait to
hear interesting funny stories!
(2) Please share to us (in words or photo, though a combination of both
will be a bonus!) your favorite/ most common dish!

1) I wish I had a funny story to share on this one. I knew I wanted to start a blog, but I also knew I didn’t want to use our family’s real names, so I wanted some kind of title that would lend itself toward a name. When I first started this blog my intent was two-fold: to give myself an outlet and to have a written record of myself for my girls. (I want them to have a better understanding of me as a person, of course I won’t let them read this till I’m old and dead, so maybe it’s really for my great grandkids.) After looking up many others (already used) I came up with Mommy Speak. It allowed me to use DaddySpeak, MommySpeak, ToddlerSpeak and BabySpeak or The House O’Speak which I liked. It gave an indication of the blog topic, so it was all good. Of course, toddler and baby aren’t anymore, but it’s still a name I’m happy with.

2) My favorite dish: ummm…Chocolate! Seriously my very favorite thing to eat/drink is my daily mocha from Starbucks. Seriously. Kinda pathetic, huh? I really like a lot of other foods, I list some of those below, but if you wantta make mama happy the fastest way is a: Vente, decaf, single-shot, whole-milk, w/whip mocha. Warms me up and makes me smile just thinking about it.
Other foods high on my list:
Greek
Sushi/sashimi
Swiss Fondue
Ethiopian Food
Mexican
Tapas
Ok, now I'm hungry! Go visit Maraposa for the rest of the Fun Monday participants.

At The Very Least She Could Do Spoken Word

So this afternoon I was playing with the girls in the playroom and they pulled out their musical instruments. I belted out “On Top of Spaghetti”. DD1 stopped what she was doing to listen & requested an encore. After that she says, “Want to hear my song?” Sure!

My poor meatball turned into a guy. He rolled out the window & wouldn’t come
back till the sun laid down.

The airplane dumped into the trash can & wouldn’t come back until the 4th of July.

He turned into the sun and wouldn’t come back until the clouds waited up.

But at the end of the day he turned back into a meatball.

Who knew she was so deep?

I’m signing her up to work coffee houses starting next weekend.

Driving in the car….

We are sitting in DaddySpeak’s new Nissan Altima Hybrid at a stop light and notice that the truck in front of us has cheesy cover on the hitch.

DaddySpeak: I’m gonna git me a hitch on this car just so I can get a cover on it.

MommySpeak: Why don’t you just get the car slamed w/neon lights lining the bottom?

DaddySpeak: Nope, I think a hitch w/a cover would trick this car out.

MommySpeak: Ohh! I know, get some truck nutz on it!

DaddySpeak: You think if they made those for motorcycles you’d only get one ball?

MommySpeak: I am SO blogging this…

Ok, prior to posting this I did not know that biker ballz existed. Now I do. No, DS you still get the standard issue 2, but since there's no picture I'm not positive where they would go on a bike. They come in many colors too; flesh, brass and camo to name a few. Of course they do.

Icing on the Cake

Apparently my back wasn’t bothering me enough. My body thought I was getting off too easy, cause today…today I woke up with a rotten cold. The whole family has had these croup-y sounding coughs for more than a week, but I keep chanting; “It’s the tree pollens. It’s the tree pollens.” And it may well have been the trees, but this morning my sinuses were feeling neglected and got into the act. Now I have all this pressure on my eyes & nose. I'm blowing & spitting up lots of "yellow gunk" (your welcome, eating breakfast, huh?) And my ears are all itchy (on the inside)! Wah! Seriously, I was feeling better than this when I woke up and now I just want to crawl back into bed and go back to sleep. I'm seriously considering it.

Checking BACK In….

Yup, more back cracks. I know, I’m sorry. Honestly, it’s pretty much what’s going on here these days. I was down for the count Thursday and Friday. Saturday & Sunday I took it easy, sort of. Taking it easy meant I didn’t pack moving boxes up and down stairs I guess, cause on Monday I worked in the garden. I know, what was I thinking???? I was thinking that those bulb kits at Costco were a good price, (only $15) and that we had a weekend long break from the rain and it was nice to get outside. I was thinking it was a nice project for my MIL & the kids. That’s what I get for thinking. But DaddySpeak & I planted them w/the girls, so that's what I get for thinking. They weren't labor intensive or anything. They were even in raised beds, but it was enough bending and reaching to throw me off I guess. I spent the later part of yesterday & early today feeling like crap. I hope I didn’t undo any good the shot had done. I promise I will behave myself from now on; beside it’s raining again & we go to MEXICO in two weeks! GAWD, I can’t wait.
In the meantime, apparently Antique Mommy’s Sean is walking around in a coma. (No, I’m not making light of her situation, but if his count really was 2000, I’m pretty sure a coma would be the upside of things. I’m on the side of human error in the testing, but I’m also saying a little prayer for them too.) Amalah & Mrs. Mogul went & got knocked up again! (Yes, I’m totally broody and jealous. Sigh) And Juni’s a big sis! So there’s your something shinny. Go read and enjoy, I’m going to bed early to try and HEAL!

Happy Valentine’s Day!!!

Yes, I'm a day late, but really by an hour, so sue me. Would you expect anything less? It's been a very rough week w/my back and all (excuse #37 for not posting), so let's cut me some slack & pretend like I got this up yesterday, ok? Great, now let's all move on to my riviting words.What did you get for V-day? Know what I got? I got an epidural shot! Woohooo! We are living it up at the Speak household. DaddySpeak’s b-day was yesterday, so that coupled w/my back issues (got to have a nerve test yesterday. Big Fun let me tell you.) meant we were very low key this year. Luckily, I had extra stocking stuffers from the $1 bin at Target, and heart balloons I got for the girls yesterday when picking b-day balloons for DS (from the girls) yesterday and matching “play cell phones” (also boutique target, but a bit more than $1) in house for just such a need. Today was shot as far as I was concerned. Once I got home from the shot, around 10, I went to bed & slept till 2. The vidcodin on an empty stomach might have had something to do with it. Ya think? I do feel bad cause I really didn’t do much for DS for his b-day or V-day. But he didn’t go without, just not as much as I might have normally put into it. Between my back issues & his parents being here I just couldn’t get it anymore together than that. I’ll make it up to him & I said so, but I also think he really does know that I will. He ponyed up big time & bought this beautiful necklace a neighbor MADE!!! I may be able to get a photo on here soon, but I’m not promising a date with everything else that’s happening. I will post a photo at some point though cause it’s super awesome and I LURVE it. (Plus I think she's going to open a shop on Esty, so I will link to it for sure when she does.) I have a feeling it was uber expensive, but that’s ok; I love the piece, the person who made it and most especially the person who gave it.
About the shot:
Not exactly like your epidural that you (may have, like I did) got when in labor. I guess I forgot how much the shot HURT! OMG, did that thing hurt like a mofo! Seriously. I think the one that they give you during labor typically gives you so much relief that you don’t really think of it as hurting? Or maybe I blocked that one too, who knows at this point. I can’t be trusted on these topics I guess. If it makes me feel better I seem to be able to completely block the awful part out of my mind. Since this is my 4th go around with this type of shot you might think I’d have some memory of pain. Maybe I’m brain dead or something, cause I really don’t. I do remember from last go around that getting onto the OR table hurt as much as getting off, so that may have been part of it. Everything was already such a mess, the shot didn’t really add much. The other thing is that during that time my right leg was more or less numb and this go around it’s and on and off thing, so I’m thinking I may have been too numb to feel all of it then too. Not so much this time. The pain is this huge pressure, and it feels like the shot is in my hip bone by the time it’s done. I’m sure it’s not, in fact it’s between two vertebrae, wouldn’t you think my tailbone would feel it more or something? The pressure traveled down my leg to the back of my knee & seemed to stop there. Tonight it’s pretty much just my lower back. I'm very stiff now, and I wasn't before, just hurting, as of right now I'm worse. I'm working on the pretense that I'm going to wake up tomorrow (if I ever get my arce in bed) and feel miraculously better. We'll see. I’m pretty sure I did too much today, so I might have felt slightly better if I hadn’t been picking up toddlers, walking up and down stairs, walking the block to deliver valentines and giving DD1 a real mani & pedi (yes, I spoil that child) as the bending to get to her toes & fingers wasn't the best. But you should see her nails; they rock!
About the nerve test:The results of the nerve test were that I am not worse. I’m not better either. Doctor wasn’t thrilled with that, “after a year it should have more healing and therefore better response.” But on the upside, it isn’t worse, so it’s a start. I knew the nerve test hurt like heck last time, but I forgot about the best part: the second part of the test they stick needles (not as thick as an IV one, but much thicker than say an acupuncture one) in you (my leg & lower back) and move them around while running a low current of electricity into them. I’m. NOT. Kidding. It’s to see if the nerves in the muscles are damaged. They are deep enough to cause you to bleed too. So, not only do you get the pain, they up the ante by pressing on the needle and moving it around, while you bleed. This is one of those tests I think all med students should have to have so they know how it feels and be more empathetic about it. I don’t think my doctor was especially rough, but he does seem to be somewhat flip about it. Trust me, IT HURTS!
Must get to bed before I fall over, so looking forward to a pain and test free weekend. Hoping for the same for you and your family!

Back At It

Ah, the back metaphors are back (get it they're back). Lucky you Internet! The saga of the herniated disk continues…When we last left our heroine she had been progressing nicely. The week in Miami in October (sans kids) had done her wonders. In fact, until she got home from that trip and picked the (not so) little ones she was feeling no pain; and we aren’t talking about the Mai Tai’s folks.

Tank you verry much, I’ll be here all zee week!

Yeah, this week was a bad one for my poor little disk. I am almost at the point of naming the guy. Yes, the disk in my back. It seems to get as much press as my kids do, so it seems fitting. Maybe we should have a naming contest, what’d you think? Any suggestions?

I headed out to the orthopedic surgeon today. He had me bend and cough a lot, (but was never behind me & I’m a chick and was fully dressed so save it). I think he was impressed with my mobility, but that’s the thing about being a mom, you do what you have to, which is everything, until you can’t. Then you can’t move at all. At the time the bending didn’t seem like that big of a deal, but by the time I got home from the appointment I was sore & exhausted. Talk about being out of shape, huh? The biggest thing was that he tested my reflexes and guess what! Not so good. My right ankle seems to have lost it’s reflex. (It’s a sign of nerve damage.) I was tested a year ago because the reflex wasn’t so good then either. At that time, I had little to no feeling in my right leg (the disk was pressing on my sciatica nerve). The doctor thinks it’s worse. The only way they can know for sure it so redo the nerve test, so I’m having that done on Wednesday. Oh Joy! On Thursday I be having another epidural. It’s been about a year since my last epidural so that’s good.; means it’s more likely to be effective. I’m actually looking forward to the epidural. I got so much relief from them last time I could be the epidural poster child. Of course, I felt similarly after my first child’s birth and not quite so much after the second. So I’m tentatively looking forward to it. I am NOT looking forward to the nerve test. Last time I had one my leg was more or less numb, especially the part they were testing. Now, I have complete feeling in my leg. It hurt like HECK last time. No, really, it hurt like HELL. Seriously, not a fun test. I can hardly wait to see how much fun it is now that the nerve is working. If you’ve never had a nerve test, they send electrical impulses into your muscles to see how they respond. The slower they respond the more nerve damage you have. I would think it's like getting lots of mini taser guns shot into various parts of you for an extended period of time. Wouldn't surprise me one bit if it came up that they use this type of thing to torture terror suspects. I'm just saying...
I suppose it wouldn’t hurt if the nerve is DEAD! Mine is not, so I don’t imagine it’ll feel good.
The up side of all of this (well beside the fact that I’m getting an epidural which should make me feel better more or less immediately,) is that I got my pain pill prescription refilled! I take vicodin, and I get nervous when I get low. The press that these kinds of drugs get these days make the doctors hand them out sparingly and I’m always nervous when I start to get low. I’m fearful that I'm going to run out over a weekend & be a mess until I can get in on Monday. It’s never happened, it’s just an irrational fear I have.

Alright, I’m off to bed now. At least I can sleep in tomorrow.

Gung hay fat choy!

Happy Lunar New Year!!! It's the year of the Rat folks. Go out and eat some long noodles (for long life) and maybe some egg rolls or lumpia (Pilipino egg rolls) mmmmm! just because they're so yummy.
This is one of those times I am so very glad I live here in Silicon Valley because people not only know about all these cool different cultures, but they actively celebrate them. I didn't know that not everyone celebrated Lunar New Year until I went to college and had my eyes opened to some less diverse areas of the world. I'm very excited because our weather is back to normal (sunny! warm!) and it's supposed to hold this weekend, so I believe we will be taking the girls to their first Lunar New Year Parade. Yeah! The closest one to us is in San Jose and it's Vietnamese, (the big one in SF is Chinese) but they're all celebrating the same thing and it's so fun! DD1's class is having their own parade on Friday and they're all supposed to dress for it, I can't wait!
DaddySpeak & I are both Monkeys and we're supposed to have a very good year. DD1 is a Goat (or Sheep depending on where you're looking it up) and she too is supposed to have a very good year. DD2 is a Dog and it's supposed to be a tough, but growing year for her, fitting considering she's turning two this year and has already started her stride in the terrible part.
Do you do anything to celebrate the Lunar New Year?

Did You Vote? AKA-- Avoiding Fun Monday

Yeah, yeah, I know I’m supposed to write a “bucket list” for Fun Monday. Honestly, this is one of the hardest things I’ve tried to do, so I’m trying to distract you; “Look! Something Shiny!” This is effectively my “The dog ate my homework of the Fun Mondays.”
When I started thinking about it, I realized I’ve done quite a few things that would typically be on the list; I’ve traveled to 11 countries in Europe & 3 in Asia, I’ve gone paragliding (run off a mountain w/a parachute, it was actually in the Alps, so a BIG mountain,) I whitewater rafted a level 5 river (also in Switzerland, BTW), I’ve hiked & skied in the Alps, so the usual things you’ll find on peoples lists; ie--thrill seeking and travel to exotic places are more or less covered. I’d still like to go to Australia & Africa, but I those are things I will probably save until after our kids have grown and if I don't make it, that's ok. I don’t really care if I do something like jump out of an airplane, I’ve run off a cliff so I think it’s more or less all the same at some point. Plus I kind of feel that now that I have children I really need to rethink the thrill seeking thing if death is a possible option.
Things I know I want to accomplish in this lifetime; I wanted to find my soul mate & grow old with him. I’m doing that. I wanted to have children and be able to be here to watch them grow. I hope to be able to be around to have a strong and happy relationship with grandchildren at some point. But these things are all things that will take my lifetime to accomplish.
I know, a bucket list is supposed to be the things you want to accomplish before you die. But if I could have spent a lifetime making happy memories w/my husband and watching my children grow up happy, healthy and into well-adjusted, successful adults who are able to meet their soul mates and have happy families, then I will have accomplished my life goals.

Sappy, yes. But truly the way I feel.

Look! Over there, something sparkly and shiny!

Nominated for Mother of the Year!

Yeah, that’s for sure. I'm sure you'll agree after you read this:

My back’s bad today. One of the worst days I’ve had in a long time. Bad enough that I’m calling my doctor tomorrow. I think I need to either have another MRI or maybe another epidural. This has gotten ridiculous, it has now been over a year since I hurt it. I know a herniated disk has a long recovery time (they told me up to 9 months) and it is better than it was, (my siatica isn't as involved now,) but jeez a year is a long time.

Ok, I’m done complaining, but you get my point, it hurts. A LOT. So I’m much less patient about everything right now. I have a super short fuse and no tolerance for anything of any sort. The usual banter of questions that DD1 throws at me while in the car, I’m totally snapping at her over. I HATE it when I’m like that. It’s almost like I can see myself doing it, but am powerless to stop it from happening. Thus you have my mindset for the day. As I mentioned in my last post, DD2 has also been in rare form as of late; we are a treat to be around, let me tell you.
……………………………….


The girls both are in need of new shoes & my mom had offered to buy them. (She feels strongly that they need really good shoes while their feet are growing and will spend a minimum of $40 on their shoes to make sure they fit properly. Since my girls both wear shoes that cost more than double what mine cost, I‘m inclined to let her pay for them.) We’d been trying to coordinate a time when we were both available & found that we didn’t really care about the Super Bowl this year (I can TiVO the commercials) considering that the teams were both from the East Coast. We headed off to the good (pricey) kid's shoe store (not Payless Shoe Source) to get the girls some new tennis. All was well during this, except that the little bit of walking we did in the mall really made my back tweak out. Bad. DaddySpeak was at a neighbor’s house watching the game & I called him on our way home because I was in no condition to deal with the girls alone. Plus I was totally taking a major pain pill as soon as I got home. Before we’d left the mall DD1 had complained that her tummy hurt because she was hungry. I figured she was trying to make a play for Starbucks or McD’s (which she was totally not getting) and told her she could have some fruit when we got home. In the car she cleared her throat and it sounded a lot like she was getting sick. My mom questioned her about where she learned to clear her throat like that (probably at school) but she got all sensitive about it and wouldn’t answer. She did it one more time and then literally started crying that her throat hurt. Well no wonder dude, don’t clear it like that & it won’t hurt. My mom looked at me and said, “Do you think it really hurts her?” to which I replied, “No. I think she’s all bent about the throat clearing question and this is her face saving attempt at attention.” You might say I was a bit skeptical. In my defense, this type of episode is not uncommon for her. She can be a bit sensitive at times. Just as we pull into the driveway DS is walking up and she’s crying at this point. He gets her out of the car, but now she’s pulling the whole “I only want Mommy” thing which isn’t helping her case so much. (Remember, Mommy ain’t feeling so hot, so needy clingy , whiney kid is not what I’m in the mood for exactly.) We go in the house & get her calmed down. I check her throat, nothing. I get her settled in front of the playroom TV w/a “My Pretty Pony” movie and life is generally back to normal.

Let’s all bow our heads now in a moment of gratitude for “My Pretty Pony” and
their like.

So I finally get my pain pill and lay down on my “good” side on the couch in the family room so I can yell at DD2 and then hassle DS because he’s really only half watching her while he’s watching the game. Then, right as the Giant’s score their first touchdown , DD1 goes into the bathroom & starts retching. Because of the activity on the TV, I totally have to yell at DS (over the TV) that I think she’s getting sick, he can see her from where he’s sitting and runs into her, (he didn't even stop to pause the TiVO, so I do have to give him props for that part).



Poor baby got totally sick; barfed her little guts out.


Yup, Mrs. Sympathetic that’s me.

Just nominate me for Mother of the Year, I’m sure I deserve it.



My poor kid is feeling sick and I’m totally dis’ing her cause I think she just wants attention. And she got sick two more times after that. I'm a piece of work, am I not? I’m still not sure if she’s really sick or if she just ate something that didn’t agree with her. Hopefully it was the later & she’s done with it by now.



Just so you know, I know when I’m a total a**hole, even to my 4YO, and I told her I was sorry she didn’t feel good and I was sorry I snapped at her in the car. She came and laid on me on the couch for the next hour (in-between getting sick). I know she enjoyed the attention. She's currently sleeping w/a large tupperware bowl next to her now, cause I care. Nothing says I care about you like plastic bed assesories (hmmm, wonder what that will do to all those Google searches?) and holding your hair back while barfing. Daddy held the hair back, so I got her the bowl. What a team we are, no?

And I did let her have a pedalite popsicle on the couch tonight. She just about fell over when I suggested that she could lay on the couch & eat it instead of at the kitchen table.



That right there should ensure my winning “Mother of the Year.”

Advanced For Her Age

She ain't giving up that bink w/out a fight either!

DD2 is hit a new level this week. She’s become a complete TWO YEAR OLD. Why yes, she does have several months before her official birthday, so she must be advanced for her age.
OMG has she stepped it up. Her fuse is so short! She can’t stand it if you tell her “no”, she will immediately throw herself on the floor kicking and screaming. Doesn’t matter what it’s about, we are merciless and her life, it is tragic. Yes, at 21 months, her life it is already a tragedy, because her mean, mean mother will not let her have a cookie 10 minutes before dinner. I still haven’t hit this status with DD1. You know what they say about each kid being different? Like night and day folks. The biggest milestone she’s passed this week is that she will now promptly do exactly what you told her not to do. People w/no kids would call it "asserting her independence." Tonight it was about climbing on the leather cubes/tables. We have these in lieu of a coffee table, so the kids won't crack their heads open on them. No one told me we needed to get all the neighbors to get rid of their driveways too. New hobby of hers; climbing on everything she can & standing up! She likes to be TALL! She wants a matching scar above her other eye. Mommy is not impressed. So tonight, I catch her pulling herself up onto one of the cubes and I tell her to get down. This isn’t news to her, we’ve had this conversation before, almost daily this week in fact. She responds by STANDING UP! Because she’s independent and smart! I change my tone and tell her to “get on her tush” and get down. She ignores me. I walk (quickly, because I’m not in the mood for another trip to the emergency room) and pick her up and give her a time out. (Time out for her consists of being straped in her high chair and moved to the next room. I set a timer so they hear the beep when the time out is done, she gets a one minute time out, because she is one. However, by the end of this little episode, I decided she had more than graduated to 90 seconds; being advanced and all.) After the timeout she gets down, walks over to her sister and (insert any one of many negative behaviors here) bites, scratches, hits, pulls hair… her. She immediately gets another time out. After this timeout I make her apologize to her sister, which she does. She then she walks back over to the cube. She watches me watch her do this. She reaches to pull herself up (watching me) I tell her she’s going to get another timeout. She responds with a grunt/screech-like sound of displeasure. Lovely child. She continues to pull herself up I count “One!” She pulls herself some more, now on her stomach on the cube, still smiling at me. “Two!” and I start to walk over, she pushes herself off, smiling. I tell her, “You do it again & you’ll get another time out.” (God, I sound like my mother.) She sort of grunts her understanding, then she puts her hand on the other side of the cube, watching me the whole time and smiling. You can see the wheels turning in her head, “Hmmm, is this pushing your buttons yet mama?” You know all those things you wish for your child when they’re growing inside of you? To be smart, independent, a leader, creative, funny…Not so much what you’re looking for in your toddler. I’m just saying.

The Blahs

Have you ever had a period of time where you feel like you’ve stopped trying? I’m having a week like that. I’m tired (I know, “wah!”) But seriously, the last 3 nights I’ve fallen asleep on the couch right after dinner. It’s really, really not like me. I feel almost zombie-like; I get dressed, but don’t care what I wear (mostly jeans & t-shirt w/sweater/sweatshirt over). I do my hair, but could care less how it comes out; using a spray bottle mostly so it’s frizzy. I just avoid the mirror.

This is why I haven’t written this week. I hate to write and be all wah, wah, wah, whine, whine, whine (unless of course its’ wine,) but that’s how I’ve been feeling all week & can’t seem to get out of the funk. Thanks for sticking with me, yes, I can see you from behind this curtain & I’m lurking around your site too BTW. Hopefully, I’ll be back up to speed real quick here.

The other reason I haven’t written is that I’m hoping to have some very, very big news very soon here. No, I’m not pregnant, get over that one right now. As much as part of me really wants another baby we are done. This big news is something I’ve talked about before, but it never really seemed tangible before. I’m not going to say what it is because I don’t want to jinx it, but that’s another reason I haven’t written; something potentially exciting may be happening and it’s all I can think about, but because it isn’t for sure yet, I don’t want to jinx it. So this topic has been taking up all my brain space and leaving any room for other things. You know how it is. I was going to leave you with some random thoughts from this week, but I got bored writing it. So I guess that’s it for now.

Yes, of course, I got pictures so I can scrapbook this event!

I spent my afternoon of free time in the local ER w/DD2. It was one of those stupid accidents, are there any other kind? We were walking DD1 to a neighbor’s house to play & in their driveway she tripped and fell. (You should see the driveway!) Not sure if she actually tripped on something or not, she’s 20 MO they fall a lot, you know. She turned her head just right so that she landed face first and used her eyebrow to catch herself. Her eyebrow was less then pleased. I was initially relieved that she didn’t knock out a tooth. She had obviously given herself a good knot on her head and after cleaning her up (quite a bleeder) we went home where I made her lunch. She seemed fine, was quite happy & joking around in fact. But the damn cut wouldn’t stop bleeding. It wasn’t gushing or anything, just every couple minutes I’d have to press it w/a cloth so the blood wasn’t dripping into her eye. Your welcome, eating breakfast were you? You should know better than to do that while reading my stuff by now. Once an hour had passed & it was still bleeding I decided to call the advice nurse; I knew it was more likely than not that they’d tell me to come in, but I also thought there was decent chance they’d say they don’t butterfly a child at that age or something and as long as she was acting fine then she was fine. Of course I told me to come in. In fact I was directed NOT to got to urgent care, but to go to ER. Great.
Luckily the hospital was relatively slow when we got there. We did end up having to wait for an hour and a half in the beginning (I think we got screwed in a receptionist shift change) but once I decided to allow DD1 carte blanch at the waiting room they got us in right away. Yes, I was that mother. In my defense I had pretty much run out of tricks to keep her entertained and seated after an hour an a half. Whatever, it worked. We didn’t even see a doctor. The nurse practitioner took one look & said stitches for sure.

Me: “Really? Can’t you glue it? It’s so small.”
Nurse: If it were anywhere else we probably would glue it, but by the eye we don’t use the glue. Plus being right at the beginning of her eyebrow we’d be messing w/the hairs & it’s really best left alone.
Me: So you’re basically going to give her a shot in her eye, right? (I'm thinking of the therapy this is going to cost me later in life.)
Nurse: We’ll numb it first, and we’ll strap her down to a papoose board.
Me: Trust me the board will be the worst part of it. She can’t stand to be confined. I can’t overstate how much she hates to be strapped down.
Nurse: That’s typically it’ll be fine.

So they put some gel on the cut to numb it, and in the end didn’t do a shot, only the gel. She ended up with two stitches. It was big enough for three, but the nurse decided the other two pulled it together well enough and a third is just that much more opportunity for scarring. Here's the real kicker; she didn’t cry. Yes, you read correctly. Remember I mentioned before that she doesn’t cry at shots (neither of my kids do), well she didn’t cry at this either. In fact, I spun the situation so well with her (yes, I am taking the credit for this thankyouverymuch) that she was cooing through the whole thing at me & the 2nd nurse who was holding her head still. No shite! I swear! I honestly wish I’d had a video of the thing because it was amazing. When we left, the nurses were in the back telling all the others about it because they’d never had a kid be not just so calm, but actually happy during something like that. I made a big deal out of the fact that she was getting to lay on a big girl bed (the ER beds) and she ate that up. Then they brought the board in and she was interested in what was going on, so they told her they were going to wrap her up w/blankies so she would stay warm. When they started, one of the nurses said something about becoming a baby burrito and I told her they were going to wrap her up like we do Baby S & Baby G, my friend’s twins. I told her we were going to pretend she was a baby. Well let me tell you, she lurved that!!! (She loves babies.) She cooed through the rest of the procedure. As they stitched her eye I stroked her face & told her how proud I was of her & what a big, brave girl she was, just like DD1. I couldn’t have said anything better, she was thrilled with herself. I have a feeling this is the first of many of these types of ER visits in her future. I hope I’m wrong, but I told DaddySpeak “I think this is our hockey player.”

The post in which I float away…..

I live in CA, have you seen us on the national weather map? We are under the big green blob the West. The one indicating heavy rain. It has been raining since last weekend. In California. Usually we don’t get that much water for any length of time. I ordered wellies during the big storms we had a few weeks ago, cause they were cute & I was jealous of the kids with all their cute shoes. My husband & mother laughed at me, cause you know, we get so much rain here.

Suddenly I don’t feel so foolish, or wet.

We were supposed to go back up to Tahoe this weekend, but being the wussies that we are, we bailed. We were supposed to go with some friends this time & they were not impressed that we backed out, but they didn’t just sit in the car with toddlers during a storm. Dude, the thought of 8+ hours in the car w/DD2 who just lurves riding in her car seat and communicates that through screaming at the top of her lungs, (for HOURS) made us rethink the whole deal. As I sit here listening to it get worse and worse, I’m glad we did. So instead of sitting the car listening to the screams & whines of toddlers, I’m sitting here listening to Sesame Street the gurgling of the gutters as they’re overloaded with water.
It’s weird to have an unscheduled weekend for a change. Guess I should take advantage of it and start working on those resolutions related to the house.

Resolving to Update….

How many titles do you think I can get out of “resolve”? I’m not sure that I haven’t exhausted them all and I’m in January.

Since I did set some goals/resolutions this year I figure the only way I’m going to accomplish any of them is to update them regularly. You, Internet, are keeping me accountable. So I’ve copied them from my original post & will be updating at least once a month, if not more. Guess, I’ll make the 1st & 15th my go-to days on updating these (that would be me making myself accountable to you again there). So here you go….

1) Get our finances in order
a. Meet w/advisor to define what is “out of order” & define & start to implement plan
(i.e.—we were under insured, I’ve upped our coverage.)
Met w/advisor on 1/10, got a summary of “things to do”.
Have already done some of them!
Goal for week: Go over list w/Daddyspeak & make some decisions (1/24).
Follow up meeting w/FA on 1/29.
b. Set up plan to get legal
stuff (ie—living trust, define who the kids would go to, etc…)updated.
FA offered to provide contacts/lawyers for this, follow up on 1/29. Need to define a date in which this should be completed by (will come after speaking w/actual lawyers).
This should be part of discussion w/Daddyspeak on 1/24.

2) Get the house completely unpacked.
a. Spare bedroom & den still have boxes that haven’t been unpacked. (Gee do you think we still need this stuff?)
Daddyspeak started some of this (he couldn’t find his passport & we both need to renew). All boxes have been pulled out.
Goal this week: spend 10 mins in spare bedroom every day (cleaning out/purging).

3) Get all the rooms decorated; still have pix to be hung, etc…I finally accepted that Daddy ain’t going to pony up so I’m starting to do it myself. (Need to unpack/hang at least one thing a week.)
Need to work on this one; I brought a pix downstairs to be hung, but still haven’t done it yet.
Goal for week: Hang at least one print/pix.

4) Follow the Flylady system again (the other stuff will fall into place if I stick with it)
Need to work on this one too. I did update my calendar for this week.
Goal for this week: I will both update my calendar & write out/time my evening routine.

5) Define house projects we’d like to do, prioritize them, budget them out & move on them (if I do #1 and #4 this will actually start to happen.)
Ummm, yeah…need to work on getting this one out of my head & onto paper.
Goal for week: spreadsheet things to be done around house.

6) Walk for 30 mins at least 3x a week.
In my defense, it has been flooding here the last couple weeks (much less the rain). So yeah, I need to work on this one too. I did ski last weekend, does that
count?
Goal for week: walk for 30 mins at least 1x (go to the freaking mall if I have to!)

7) Get hair free (except my head) by EOY.
Goal for week (cause yeah, lagging on this one too). Figure out the clinic I’m going to and cost.

Internal Mommy Wars

Here’s where my head is today.

Have you ever noticed how it seems like women work so hard to obtain & move forward in their career only to have children and then start to work their butts off to be able to stay home? And then when/if they are able to stay home with those kids they make excuses about how they had this “career” before kids and act as if staying home with those kids is a lesser job; like they’re slacking or something. (AKA—The Mommy Wars).

We’re told all our lives about how we can achieve anything we want (girl power!). Our mentors have broken down barriers and through glass ceilings so that we can do as much and make as much as our male counterparts. When I write it like that, I almost feel like they (whoever “they” are,) are trying it guilt us into pursuing those careers because they sacrificed so that we could have these wonderful opportunities. Women’s magazines constantly tout how lucky we are: “We can have it all: A career, a family, a fulfilling marriage!” Really? All at the same time? I’m kinda tired just thinking about all of that at the same time. Cause all of those things take a lot of effort. At least if you want them done well they do and honestly at 39, I’m finding that I’m a bit more tired these days. There is very little talk about how many of the celebrities who waited till their late thirties or longer to try and have children are not using their own eggs or more. They certainly don’t talk about how expensive it is for these families who wait to have babies to go through fertility treatments. There’s no discussion about the emotional toll these treatments take on the individuals, much less their relationships. What about those costs? We pursue this career so we can put ourselves on a roller coaster just to get to the real ride.

No, I don’t have any first hand knowledge about these types of things; I’m that girlfriend who gets pregnant by thinking about it. Everyone is good at something, right? I’m good at pregnant, which I wish I could do more since I’m so damn good at it.

My mom’s generation (baby boomers) is the “me” generation. They were the ones who tried to have it all at the same time. they mostly look tired, don't you think? I’d like to think that my generation (I’m part of Gen X) learned from their mistakes, but I’m not really sure.
I’m just spewing crap from my brain (i.e.--thinking out loud) so this probably doesn’t make any sense (I’m trying to work it out in my head as it is). I guess what it means is that I’m having this internal mommy war in my head right now. Why does it feel like it has to be my head (career) or my heart (SAHM) why can’t be both?

Still kicking....

Yes, I'm still alive. I have lots to relay & I'm totally lagging (and actually may flake this week) on the Fun Monday post (because I have so much to write already). But I am tired from our trip & drive home. So here's your teaser....DD1 skied this weekend for the FIRST TIME!!!!

Pix & maybe even video to follow soon!

Rock Star

I've been meaning to share some video with you. Ever since we got the Cannon TX1 (love it!!!) we've been pretty good about getting those kodak moments on video as well as photos. You're just getting video on here now because I am lazzzzzy. But you knew that already.

As a side note, if you're considering a new camera, but think this is too expensive, consider this: you can sell your regular digital camera & video camera on ebay or something to offset the price. Once you have this you won't need those anymore cause this one will take the place of both, I promise. (They should pay me or something.)

I'm looking for one of the baby (who really isn't a baby anymore) cause she has the most awesome toddler/baby giggle right now, but until then here's a good one of the my BIG girl who is starting kindergarten in September. Oh. My. God. Just shoot me now. It seems like I just brought her home from the damn hospital last week. Damn kids and their growing up.....grumble, grumble.



This is an original composition by her. Like the way she already knows to turn her back on the camera cause she's the star? Oh, and dig her moves, she gets that from her mama (singing voice from daddy.)

Two Steps Forward….

Yeah, one step back.
Can I just tell you how badly I got my arce kicked today?
Shagged my arce out of bed at dark o’clock to get in line for the kindergarten registration, as planned. DaddySpeak was still in bed and I told him he was late (he leaves the house at dark o’clock every morning, I do not know how he does it, but I certainly appreciate him for it). He informed me he was going in later so he could get his passport done this morning. Really?

Me: What time are you doing that at?
Him: 8 or 9, whenever the post office opens.
Me: Oh Dude! Can I let the girls sleep and you stay here with them while I go take care of the registration?
Him: No problem.

God, I love him!

So, anywho, girls, of course heard me; they seem to have these secret super sonic listening devices for when ever I’m trying not to be heard, do your kids that that too? What is up with that? I mean I can be next to their ear saying their name 3-4 times & they don’t hear me, but man, I sneak upstairs or try to get out of the house while their sleeping? And they are all over me. I digress; I end up putting DD2 in bed w/DS (so awesome, we lurve it when she does this, cause she sleeps on you, which rocks when it comes to snuggle time. The kid’s still pretty small, what can I say?) And, then DD1 of course called me into her room, once again w/a face full of dried snot (your welcome, I’m sure you were eating breakfast or something, huh? Consider it my contribution toward your New Year's weight loss resolution.) So I clean her up, give her some more medicine & get her back to sleep. By that time I’ve got several neighbors calling because they didn’t see any lights on at our house, and I wasn’t at the corner, blah, blah, blah…

and I’m off! (like a herd of turtles) Yesterday was frickin’ cold so I dress warmly; layered long-sleeved t-shirt, wool sweater, wool pea coat, wool scarf, jeans, wool socks, damn, left my mittens on the counter! But the fog was in & it was low, so no ice this AM. Cool! Booked it over to the school, where the neighbors were saving my place in line. At 6:45 AM we were NOT first. KaRAZEE! In the end we stood in line for over an hour and a half and we got off easy!!! By the time we were done the line had at least 50 more people in it and was growing! Thank God for my neighbors, cause I would’ve been one of those 50 people if one of them hadn’t found out what it was like & clued us all in. (We were #12 BTW)
BUT…
You knew there was one didn’t you? There always is with me….
Sometime around 7:30 the fog started to lift, and when the fog lifted the temperature dropped. Notably. Like I bet we could’ve estimated the degree drop as it happened. Suddenly it was damp and freezing!!! No seriously, it had to be in the 30s. By the time I made it home I was damp & so very, very COLD! (I know there's snow where you live, but you don't stand outside in it w/out down clothes on, right?) I couldn’t get warm. I drank like 3 hot drinks, I laid under blankets, I just couldn’t warm up, especially my legs. Since my back has been so out of whack this last week, guess what decided to really take a nose dive? You guessed it! I was back to being laid out & barely being able to move. I kept thinking that if I could just get warmed up it would stop aching so badly. I finally upped the thermostat to like 75, that helped warm me up, but by then my back was shot. I called DS at work & told him that if there was anyway he could get home early I would be eternally gratefully, he said he’d see what her could do. A few more hours later it did start to subside a bit, at which point it was migrating into a migraine. (The pattern it has been taking this last week.) So I grabbed a diet soda (caffeine) & took the girls for a walk (trying to loosen it up some more & help them burn some energy). We ended up at a neighbor’s house (as usual) where the girls all played happily & us mom’s got to visit. It was a much, much needed break. Good call on my part. On the walk part, I called DS & told him I was better & if he couldn’t get away it was ok, but once he did get home I was totally popping a vicodin. (I won't take them if I'm the only adult w/the girls.) Knowing how I am he said he’d still do his best to not work late. (He’s awesome that way.) So at 5 we were on our way home & saw him pulling into the driveway. The girls ran up to him with hugs, and I can’t tell you the sense of relief I had.

Now here is the awesomeness that is my husband:

He totally played with the girls for half an hour. I got my vicodin & laid down. He made the girls & himself dinner (I wasn’t that interested in eating, go figure.) He cleaned up the kitchen while I occupied the girls w/a movie. Then he played with them a bit longer and got them ready and into bed! THEN (yes, it gets better) he went to Trader Joe’s for me to get dark and milk chocolate cashews, cause I was craving chocolate (typical pain response) and the dark chocolate ones are relatively low carb. Yes, he made a special trip just for those for me.

Now the next time I attempt to bitch about my husband and some stupid thing he didn’t do (like pick up his socks) tell me to Shut my Pie Hole and direct me to this post, cause I just may have married the most awesome guy on earth, seriously. Sometimes, I wonder what I did to have scored so well, you know?

All I know is that I must’ve done some seriously good shite in another life to deserve someone who not only do I love and cherish, but who loves me back so much that he not only puts up with all my shite, but takes care of me in spite of it.

All this and he makes beautiful babies too! Yeah, I know you’re jealous.
I have to go now, cause I’m due for another vicodin & I hear it calling my name.

My First Baby

Isn’t a baby anymore. Sigh. I know that’s not news.

I filled out the registration forms for kindergarten tonight.

We have to get in line tomorrow at 6:45 with all our paperwork (shots records & proof of residence). We don’t have to get there that early, but if we want to get in the morning classes then we need to get there early. We live in a very good school district so there are wait lists for inter-district transfers. We are guaranteed to get in as this is our school, but like I said we want the morning classes, and so does everyone else.

I can’t believe she’s starting kindergarten in September.

Next thing she’ll want to be driving the car or something.

Fun Monday

The lovely Ann is hosting today’s Fun Monday. Her topic is:
For today's Fun Monday, I want to hear about a web site that's changed your life. A web site that you can't live without. A web site whose inventor you'd like to see win a McArthur Genius Grant. A lot of people have said that they didn't think they could narrow it down to one, and that's okay. A top-5 list or a top-3 list is completely acceptable.

You’d think (Well, I’d think) that this would be easy for me. OMG there’s so much we do via the web. At one time I did all my grocery shopping via the web (oh, how I miss you Web Van.) Most of my groups of friends have formed groups on various sites; yahoogroups, googlegroups, facebook, etc…and that’s how we organize all our activities. But still other than say, My Yahoo and Google, I can’t think of any website I “can’t live with out.” To be honest, I prefer those two portals, but if I had to live w/out them I think I’d get by. It would be a bummer, but I’d manage. So I guess, you’re going to get a little story. Lucky you! I’m going to talk about a website that changed my life. I don’t use it anymore, but that’s because of the change it made for me.

DaddySpeak and I met online. Gasp. Yes, we’re one of those couples. This was in the heyday of the dot.com boom. You could do anything and everything on line, for FREE. I was working at a (semiconductor) chip maker and he was working at a small bio-tech, who was backed by a much larger international bio-tech. In other words, we were both at companies that were pretty flush. That means we both were in a world where everyone worked hard & played hard. Twelve to fourteen hour days were the norm, so were signing bonuses, stock options and Friday Afternoon beer busts (at work). Silicon Valley was flush with money & that mean flush w/people. Even the best of commutes would take an hour. As a result, it could be really hard to socialize. In my case, I was working in MarCom and managing a pretty active tradeshow schedule, so my travel was 1-2 weeks every month. I met lots of single guys, but most were geographically undesirable. I had a good friend who worked at an ad agency (where I would soon end up, cause it’s not so much what you know as who you know,) who asked me to check out the beta site on a dating website they were designing. I did, and in the process decided to sign up (the first month or something) was free. You filled out a questionnaire, a couple of essay questions and then based on your answers you were given a match with others. A high match was usually somewhere in the high 20's. From the day I got on there, DS and I were a 37% match, so high it was almost unheard of, except, we wouldn't contact each other. DS is rather youthful looking, and at that time he had long hair, which made him look even younger. I figured he was lying about his age and wasn't interested in someone who was going to start out lying. Ironically, DS wouldn't write to me because of my picture as well. The most recent digital photo I had (this was like 10 yrs ago, digital photos weren't that common then) was from my 30th birthday. I had gotten all dolled up for the party & was wearing a black cocktail dress, long black gloves and a tiara. He thought I was advertising that I was a princess, so he wasn't interested. Funny, huh? Lucky for us his friends were also all on the site & short story long, I became good friends with all of them. DS was dating someone else at the time. But a few months later, when he was single again, he and I sat next to each other during a group dinner (he was single by that time) and well, we've been together ever since.

So I would say that website was life changeing wouldn't you? It was http://www.matchmaker.com/ Tell you what, the one thing I learned from all of this was that sometimes you should pay attention to what others are telling you; you're "type" might not really be your type at all.

House Keeping

I suppose most of these could be Twitter posts, but I'll round it up anyway, it's faster this way.

Cats
I know you’re all waiting w/baited breath to get the cat/bedspread update. So far, so good. No more defecating on the bed, even w/DaddySpeak back in town. I'm sure I just jinxed it right now.

DD1
Woke up w/a super, bad cold today, of course she did, we’re going skiing this weekend. This way we'll all be sick by Friday. Bah! In fact, it might even be pink eye; if she’s still all “goopy” by noon I’ll be calling the dr office.

DD2
Not to be left out she indicates w/grunts & finger pointing that she too has whatever Big Sis has. She doesn’t (I hope) but she is not going to be left out of anything. It’s kind of cute right now, you'll need to remind me of that in a year when it’s become annoying. She is also tall enough to reach the kitchen counters now. Bah, these damn kids w/their growing! I know this because she swiped my keys this weekend (w/out me knowing) and put them in one of her play purses. I went NUTS looking for them! Luckily, I finally thought to ask DD1 if she knew where they were (true desperation) and she did! Otherwise, I’d probably still be looking for them.

Mommy
I think I’m in the early stages of a Fibro flare up. I really, really hope not, as I mentioned earlier we’re going skiing this weekend and it would really suck to feel like this when it’s so very, very cold. (Temperature can affect the symptoms.) Plus, skiing! I haven’t gotten to ski in over 2 years; last year I had a herniated disk in my back (it’s still not in great shape, but we're not going to talk about it), and the year before that I was pregnant. Last year I got new skis and bindings, so I’m dying to use them! Have I mentioned that I ski? I used to ski A LOT! No, ok blog fodder for later, but hey, I ski! No, really, it's like the one sport I will actually tell you I do well. (That should tell you something, cause I SUCK at most sports.)

At work last week, a group of us started a friendly “biggest loser” game. Everyone put in $10 and who ever loses the highest percentage of body weight wins the pot. There’s over $200 in there right now. There's one person who tracks everyone on a spreadsheet. We had to indicate our goal & he calculated our goal percentage. My goal is to lose 9%, which means I want to lose 13 lbs. (But wouldn't it be awesome if I lose more??? Ok, focus on those first 13 MS.) I lost 3 lbs this week! Wahoo! What’s really awesome is that because I was feeling so bad this weekend, I wasn’t very good about my diet. I got better on Saturday and Sunday, but Thursday and Friday were the worst I’ve eaten since July. A couple guys in here lost 6 lbs each and one guy lost 11 lbs! It’ll be interesting to see how it goes over the whole 90 days, it's not a sprint, it's a marathon.

More on FUN Monday in a little while.