Thursday, September 06, 2007

Forecast: Gloomy & HOT

Bah! The weather here is matching my mood & that’s not good. It looks cloudy here, almost like a medium foggy (not down the ground fog so much, more like marine layer, but hanging lower). Anyway, it’s not fog or clouds even. It’s smoke. There’s a couple of fires that aren’t too far away and we’re in a weather pattern that is causing the smoke to just sit over us. Luckily, (so far) no one has lost a home or gotten injured (or worse), but we’re really not that close to either of the fires and our day is totally affected by them. Needless, I won’t be walking outside today. whine, whine, whine

Work is sucking still, BIG TIME.

I had a job once (in a previous life) that was very political and very negative. Everyone there was out to screw someone else to help themselves look good and get ahead. When something good happened, the managers’ took credit without acknowledging others’ efforts and when something went poorly…we’ll lets just say the manager’s and everyone who could would take a large step backward. Being in the thick of it, I took it all very personally. I had never worked in an environment like that before and I couldn’t understand why these people would treat each other (especially me, who hadn't done anything, but be a large target) so poorly. It became a practice in CYA, "Cover Your Ass": meaning I would document and print any and all communication I had with anyone on any topic so they couldn’t deny their involvement. Finally I started to make myself physically ill over it; with the support of DS I quit. After I was out of the environment for a while I was able to be more objective about it and realize it wasn’t about “me”. Have you ever heard the term “shite rolls downhill”? That was the problem. The CEO ruled through fear and intimidation and so everyone fell in line. It was awful.

Where I at right now is being very much like that.

Yeah, it sucks that much.

I’ve been spending my morning looking at “work at home sites”, which really improved my mood.

Hopefully a good sea breeze will pick up this afternoon and clear the smoke along w/my mood.