Tuesday, September 25, 2007

The Last of MOO-hicans (I've got a million of them!)

It’s not that I don’t want to talk about it; it’s more like it just kinda makes me feel sad.

My baby is growing up.

I know, I am happy for her, but every day they both need me a little less and that can make a girl feel melancholy. (If you talk to me on Friday night after hanging with both of them ALL. DAY. LONG. I believe you will get a different kind of answer, but I digress…)
So week before last DD2 stopped breastfeeding.


When DD1 was done with breastfeeding (BF) it was my decision. She kept biting me, by 12 months she had 12 teeth and she wasn’t afraid to use them. (I am still a resource to a couple moms’ groups on how to heal nerve damage and cuts while still BFing the baby. There's a visual for you. You're welcome.) On her first birthday DD1 started getting sippy cups only (we ditched the bottle at the same time too). DD1 did not care. As long as she was getting the food she was happy. Actually, she was pretty happy no matter what, so there you go, a very easy going kid. Five days later I back into a full blown Fibro episode. Bah! So my b00bs no longer hurt, but everything else did.

This go around I decided I was going to continue with the BFing until DD2 weaned herself. Ok, if she was starting kindergarten I would’ve probably drawn the line. But I don’t know, being pain free is a pretty magical thing. You might be willing to BF your 8 year old too if it meant no pain. (God, I’m kidding. That would gross me out too.) My point is that I was going to let DD2 self-wean.
And she did.
She just did it a lot sooner then I thought she would.

DD2's a snuggly kid and she likes BFing. She was constantly feeling me up & asking for it. Much like a druggie needing a fix. I’m not a big fan of the “on demand” thing so she had a general schedule
(please don’t email me about what an awful mom I am because I don’t propagate the “on demand” philosophy, if it works for you great then do it. I know it wouldn’t work for me or my family. ‘nuf said.)
The last hold out feeding was the going to bed one.
It was nice. The last quiet moments of her day, rocking in the chair in her room in the dusk, watching her eyelids get heavy and her little baby hands reaching for my face to try and entice me into a game. I knew she wasn’t getting much milk anymore; if anyone else was around she would totally pop off to see what was happening (something she would never do if she were getting a lot of milk.) A couple weeks ago I went out to dinner with some mom’s from the neighborhood. I told DS to give her a bottle & she should be fine. When I got home he said she really didn’t drink it, she just played with it. So the next night I had him put her to bed again (I figured it was less likely to fly if I was around) this time without anything but a story and a kiss goodnight.
She cried and cried and cried. And then she cried some more.
Finally, it became apparent she was winding up, not down, so I went up to her room (about 30 minutes had passed). I picked her up and she stopped crying (go figure). She laid her head on my shoulder and calmed her hiccup-y cries and sniffles. (She does pathetic really well.) I sat down in the rocker & she pulled on my shirt. I told her, “No you’re a big girl now and we don’t do that anymore.” She laid her head on my shoulder and hugged me as she went to sleep. And my heart broke a little.


I didn’t expect her to listen to me!

She’s asked for it at various times since then, (not like I would've thought) usually because she’s upset. A hug and a bink will usually suffice in those cases. If she's being a little more insistant I tell her she’s a big girl and we don't do that anymore. She just kind of shrugs her shoulders and moves on.

I’d say she’s taking it way better then I am.


kellyo75 said...

How old is she? I was trying to figure it out, but I can't. Your post made me get all teary, though My daughter is 3 now, but she stopped bf'ing at 23 months. It was a sad sad day for us both. I remember her saying, "Nanny, please mommy, I want nanny." It broke my heart. I know how you're feeling. Hugs!

mama speak said...

She's 17 months on Sept 27. Sigh I really thought she'd be much closer to 24 then this...