Wednesday, November 03, 2010


I try to tell myself I'm just overdoing it. I'm run down from being sick. I'm getting sick. Aunt Flo's about to visit. I can think of TONS of reasons why I feel so run down, tired, achy, headachey, etc... My reality is that my Fibro seems to be coming out of remission. I don't want to admit that. The idea of it, is depressing on it's own. There have been lots of hints, some little (trouble sleeping,) some big, (migraines). When you look at all of it, it adds up to Fibro. I went to the doctor this week for my migraines. He was very excited because he has this "wonder drug" for me. "I'm going to kick myself for not coming for help sooner." I hope he's right. But when he found out I have Fibro, and that this might be linked he had lots of questions. Good questions. It's almost weird, the turn around from, even just a few years ago, when doctors looked at you suspiciously if you told them you had Fibro. He knew a lot about symptoms, and what to ask. He believed the migraines are linked to my hormones and my Fibro, but thinks this "wonder drug" will really help. Incidentally, while I was there, I got a migraine. So I got to try this "wonder drug" right away. It did seem to help, not exactly the way he said it would, but I'm headache free 24 hours later, so we'll see.

He was also very concerned about my sleep issues. Oh did I neglet to mention those? Yeah, my body is suddenly on the swing shift. Seriously, it's like someone has fliped a switch and I can't turn off after around 9-10 at night. Suddenly, it's 3 AM and I'm still NOT TIRED! I almost feel bipolar about it, I'm so awake. But, you know, kids have to get up at 7, so I'm shot when I have to get up with them. The sleep I am getting has been tense. I wake up w/a sore face/jaw/head from clenching my jaw all night. I'm also getting next to no REM, which is the typical sleep pattern for people with Fibro. He gave me a low-dose anti-depressant to help with my sleep. It's something I've been on before, so hopefully it will be helpful this time as well.

I'm depressed. I'm tired. I have a lot of medical symptoms going on. But I don't want to whine, so that's why I haven't written about it. Alright, to be honest, if I wrote about it, it made it real. I don't want it back. I want the nice, normal, active life I've started to have these last few months. But I do realize I need to ask for help and try to stop this before it gets out of hand. Now that I have kids, I don't have luxury of letting it get the best of me. I just don't.