Thursday, September 22, 2011

Mean (Little) Girls...and Boys

We're into our 4th week of school, (I think).  Things seem to be going well.  BigSpeak really likes her teacher, as expected.  LittleSpeak is thriving.  And, knock on wood, but I seem to be doing pretty well.  My cocktail of meds seems about right.  I have small set backs; Big was home sick all of last week, and DaddySpeak was out of town for work, but I didn't collapse.  I had to scale back a bit this week to recover, but I seem to be doing well.  I feel like we're finally thriving, instead of just surviving.  It's a nice feeling.  I hope it lasts. 
One thing that's new is the stories Little has been coming home from school with every day.  At first I thought she was embellishing, as she's prone to do.  But as the days pass, and each day I get a similar tale, I'm starting to think maybe most of it is true.  Little's class seems to have an awful lot of chiefs and almost no Indians. Everyday she comes home with a story of how E told K she can't be in their club-du-jour.  Or how D threw his blocks at the teacher when she told him it was time to clean up.  Every day I hear how A told the teacher, he "hates school and the rules." 

What the heck???  Who are these kids???

I'm not sure if it's because this grade has a lot of siblings or if we're just paying more attention, but none of that type of stuff EVER came up in Big's class.  They were what you would expect of five year old boys and girls.  They were mostly sweet and very young.  This group?  These kids are like five going on fifteen.  

Little tells me these stories, pointing out, of course, how she isn't the perpetrator in any of these cases.  I fear, in fact, that she's one of the "good" kids. Which is really kinda scary for her teacher.  We know how strong-willed Little can be, and I think she might not hold a candle to some of these kids.  In fact, she has been a "victim" of the Mean Girls on more than one occasion.  (I've witnessed it going on during Big kid pick up.)  When I saw it happening to her, I wasn't entirely surprised.  The major culprit is a neighbor and Little and her are "hot & cold."  They're either the best of buds, or ready to go to blows.  Honestly, I'm not that crazy about this other girl, but Little seems to hold her own, so I'm going along for now.  The last time I saw the Mean Girl action occurring, I called her over and confirmed what I was seeing.  ("E says I can't be in their club because all their shoes flash and mine don't. It hurts my feelings.")  Little doesn't take it lying down either.  She gets all up in E's face, points her finger and tells her off.  And while her feelings are hurt, she doesn't turn into a puddle AT ALL.  But, anyone's self-esteem is going to take a hit at some point, so last time I saw this and called her over, this was our conversation?

"Ummm, yeah.  Little, first of all, there are NO CLUBS at school.  The only clubs that exist are ones that ANYONE can be in.  If they exclude someone, then that's not fair, or nice and it's a form of bullying.  There is NO Bullying allowed at school." 
"Also, E is not your firend."

Yeah she is mommy. And I want to play pink pony tag." (Or whatever crap they're into that day.)

"No Little, she's not.  A friend doesn't put conditions on being included.  A friend doesn't care if you have flashing shoes, or any shoes for that matter.  A friend, sees you have different shoes, and either points out how it's cool you're different.  Or suggests everyone take of their shoes, and be equal.  When she talks to you like that she's not being your friend.  Tell her you want to play, but not if she's going to be mean.  Then walk away and find someone who is a friend." 

They're FIVE!  It's gonna be a long year is all I'm saying.