Thursday, February 05, 2009

Gray like me.

I'm tired & cranky. I'm sure you're tired of hearing about it and I'm tired of talking about it. Tuesday I had my first truly pain free day since the surgery. I did stuff, but I didn't think I overdid anything. I woke up yesterday feeling just awful; two steps forward, one step back I guess. And I know I should be grateful that it's still a step forward, but somehow it just feels like I ought to feel better than I do. It doesn't help that my parents (read: mom) decided in the third week of my recovery that I was pretty much done needing help and bailed on me. Karma, being the great equalize that she is, promptly gave my mom a strained back when reaching for her purse in the car. Ha! Take that Mom! Now you know how crappy I feel. Except, I need her to feel ok and to help me with the kids. So Karma, I get it, but really dude, couldn't it have waited?

The kids have been really good, but their patience is wearing thin as well. Littlespeak is good as long as she's got someone dedicated to her. The second you have to divde your time with her, all bets are off. Yesterday we were back to multiple time outs, 3 in 30 minutes. I desperately called my parents for help and my mom put me down, "Cause it sounds like you can't handle taking care on your own kids right now." I can't, I'm not supposed to and the fact that I have been is probably a large reason as to the amount of pain I'm still having and what I'm assuming is going to be a prolonged recovery.

I'm so frustrated! Today has started out poorly. It's raining (which is good, we need rain here in CA), but mostly it's gray, like me.