Back at it!

I know, enough w/the back jokes. It's been a while so here's my status (which I know you're just dying for.)

After a BIG scare last week (leg went numb again) everything is back in working order and seems to actually be on the mend. Week before last I went into the doctor for my 6 week follow up. He made me bend, squat, roll over, sit and beg....anyway, he checked my mobility. My ankle is still w/out a reflex and I'm still a mess whenever I have an appointment like that; all that movement F's me up really bad. But more or less I'm ploding along at an expected rate. Dr. gave me a prescription for physical therapy & steroids (to move the healing along a bit more.) Last Thursday was the last day of taking steroids (and I was feeling that they really were starting to help,) I woke up w/a numb foot. Uh oh. A few hours later & the numbness was working it's way up my leg and by 11 I had no feeling in my leg left at all. After a phone call to the doctor, he set me up for a 2nd round of steroids and told me to start Physical Therapy (PT). If I still have numbness in a week, then another scan will be scheduled. The PT thought I probably was building scar tissue which was pushing on the nerve again. She worked it out for me and I haven't had any notiable numbness since. Whew!

Ultimately, I'm frustrated. It has been very slow going, or maybe it hasn't. I've had this problem for so long now (2 years) maybe the length of time this is taking is to be expected. I'm finding that I do feel better for periods of time, but then I do something (like go out to dinner w/my hubby for his b-day) and find that it was too much. The bigest problem I have is that when I'm overdoing it, my back doesn't let me know. I find out after the fact that it was too much, and spend the next day in bed. I find it really hard to stop myself from doing things if it doesn't actively hurt, especially if it's related to the girls. I feel so guilty about how much I'm saying no to them already that if I don't know it will bother me for sure I tend to do it, and pay later.

I'm also frustrated w/other things; I've gained quite a bit of weight during this down time (15 lbs) and I get really, really tired. We took the girls to the park for a couple hours today and all I did was sit and watch, but I was wiped out from it. I slept for 3 hours after. I'm tired of being tired is all. I try not to focus on the extrainious stuff (like my weight) hoping that it will take care of it's self once I'm moving again.
Hang w/me Internet. I know I'm crabby and bitchy & I'm trying to be nice, but feel free to call me on it. I just want to be me again, you know.