Testing, testing...

Guess what I’m doing right now? Yup I’m blogging from my couch!!! Isn ‘t it lovely? We finally got the wireless network up and running (again). Keep your fingers crossed that it lasts. Later today I will be attempting to get the CPU we’ve hooked up to the TV going so we can download our movies from netflix; then all will be right with the world.
Sorry, that’s just me geeking out a bit.
So anyway…..
Dutch listed a post about their recent prenatal screening test and boy has it lit up the wires.
It’s interesting to me how differently each of us will take something when we read it. Our personal experiences and the resulting prejudices that shape our opinions on a subjects define our reaction. All he really did was describe his experience and the conflicting emotions he had over the news he would get as a result of this test, good or bad. But many took offence at his perceived lack of empathy toward families with special needs kids. Then the comments started to get heated with the debate regarding “choice.” Poor Dutch, he was just writing about his experience and the internet attacked him. But that is how it goes with the internet, you think you’re writing about this amazing dinner you made and then suddenly PETA is sending you hate mail because you were eating animals. Your most mundane topics take on a life of their own because of the way people perceive you’re writing.
His post was intended to talk about the ethics of the way in which the test is presented to parents. In his case the test was not really treated as optional. It wouldn’t have mattered to them, but that’s not his point. He also discussed the ethics of having this information, in that we are potentially creating a world in which all babies that are born are “disability free”. Is this a world we really want to live in? And while he didn’t even get to this part, my mind went the direction of the ethics of things like choosing your child’s gender, height, hair & eye color. If you’re choosing for your child to be disability free when does that move into things like we only want blue eyed, blonde haired kids? (Personally I prefer my children to have very deep blue eyes, dark brown hair and olive colored skin, but that’s me & I didn’t really get a vote on the subject. Just got to buy the lottery ticket.) Do we circle back to certain hair, eye & skin colors becoming a “disability”?
Eventually, the topic turned back to his intended subject: our medical system. Maybe that’s not exactly what he meant, but that’s where it headed. Much of his concern related to the way in which the test is presented to parents as a standard test, when really it’s a screening. There’s a big difference, I know because I came back high risk for Down’s in a screening. But it isn’t presented that way. In fact, because it is a screening and not a true test of potential issues (a screening to determine if you need the actual test) the information you are provided with is really not complete. And the doctors who are delivering the news don’t really get any training in how to deliver less then great news, which is a large part of what he was driving at. How ethical is it for a doctor to tell you you’re high risk for Down’s or other chromosomal abnormalities when they really don’t know? How ethical is it for a doctor to tell you you’re high risk, but not inform you that what they are giving you is a score based on many factors including external ones (like your age) that existed before you ever walked through the door? How ethical is it for parents to make life changing decisions about their unborn child without being given all the information? Because that’s really what’s going on.

I know this post got a bit heavy, but when I have a few minutes I will write about our “scare” during my first pregnancy. It was pretty awful. Then I think you’ll understand why I feel compelled to comment in the first place.

It's BOMBASTIC!!!

So did you know today was "the great mofo delurk" day? No one told me either. Yeah, my feelings were hurt too. And since the day is mostly over for about (or aboot if you're Canadian) half of the country I'm pretty sure most of you will not be delurking, but by all means knock yourself out. I don't mind if you're a day or two late. In fact that would be entirely appropriate for me. And now onto your regularly scheduled post...




Ever make a trip to the local cable office? Me neither, till yesterday.

We get our internet from cable & our wireless router wasn’t working with our modem. After much trial and tribulation and many phone calls to customer service it was determined that we should exchange our modem. I’ve had good intentions to do this for several weeks now. I HATE that I can’t access our internet from downstairs!

It’s the reason why I generally don’t post on non-work days. Rotten kids think I should actually pay attention to them. Jeez! They’re so demanding! They want to be fed and stuff too!

I was trying to run this little errand while DD1 was in school so I’d only have one child to torture myself (and the CSR) during my visit. It just wasn’t working out, so yesterday, with both kids in tow, I went to the Customer Service office for our cable company. (Rhymes with Bombast.)

The office isn’t far from us, so we head over there and try to find parking. Uh oh. Not off to a good start, the very large parking lot is full. Apparently the majority of the building is used for training, so I assumed (wrongly) that the majority of the cars were probably for that. Oh yeah, and the stroller never got put back in the car after our Costco trip this weekend. This was not starting off all that well. After about 10 minutes I found a random parking space, it was in their parking lot, so I guess I should consider that a plus. I carry DD2 while holding DD1’s hand through the parking lot. DD2 is getting pretty heavy these days, seems that she’s at least 20 lbs now. My point is that my back (which hasn’t been so hot lately) was not doing so hot by the time we got to the sidewalk and I could put her down, and I was starting to break a sweat (ewww). We got to the building and open the door and….the line! OMG the line! Think DMV, but with only 4 service windows. One window is only taking cash transactions and only one window has a Spanish speaker in it. Luckily those were not the same window. It did not look hopeful. The line wound around the office twice and was at the door. We go in it. It was lunch time, DD2 had not had a nap yet today. Wow, this was as pushing it as we could get.

Guess what!

Totally uneventful. Most people couldn’t use the cash only window and/or needed the Spanish speaking guy, so we only waited about 10 minutes. AMAZING! I was able to switch out our modem without incident. The lady who helped us was nice and helpful and it was just so ODD!

In fact it was BOMBASTIC! If you know what I mean.

Happy October!

Actually has been pretty happy. I had a rough weekend with my back; actually broke down & took a vicodin yesterday. That was after I was completely useless for most of the day. I think I’m feeling the after affects of it today as my blood pressure (I think) is low. I started randomly having a dizzy spell, and I got hot and then I got a headache. Bah! Very reminiscent of my pregnancy. No I’m not pregnant, don’t go there. I wouldn’t exactly be sad if I were to get pregnant, but this isn’t how I’d tell you either. DS says we’re done, so unless he changes his mind I guess we’re done. Kinda a two person thing you know.

On the other hand, Auntie H & Uncle A are now Mommy H & Daddy A! Yeah!!!! The twins were born on Saturday and are doing very well. Baby Boy was 6 lbs. 3 oz. (bigger then DD2, who was a full term single birth) and Baby Girl was 5 lbs 8 oz. Baby Boy has had a few issues that are somewhat typical (I think) of multiple births, but some have already ironed themselves out, so I’m sure it will all be happy chaos by the end of the week.

The only real new news is that I have been cropping like crazy these days and actually been approached to do someone’s baby book for them. I know! At first I was like, I don’t know, cause that feels like such a responsibility, but then I looked into what a commercial license entails, etc… and I feel more comfortable about it now. So I emailed her today to see if she’s still interested. We’ll see. I think I’m going to leave it at that so I can go crop some more AND because I still have this raging headache. I’ll leave you with one of my recent layouts to fill the usually lengthy (wordy) void.

Layout credits: All layout paper and elements are from the express yourself kit by Ronna Penner of Scrapadelic.com. Grunge mask from J. Sprague.

She's a smart one, that 4YO

Zoot was talking about how they deal with punishing their kids today and I had a lengthy comment on the topic.

I know, me, a lot to say? Who knew?

It reminded me of something funny from the other day.

Well, I think it's funny. My mom, maybe not so much.

I believe I’ve mentioned that DD2 is a bit loud at times. What I mean to say is that it isn’t uncommon for us (or complete strangers) to refer to her a baby pterodactyl on occasion. Seriously, this kid can screech! She’s especially fond of practicing this talent while in the car; she seems to feel that any ride longer then say out the driveway should be protested. LOUDLY.

I was going to insert appropriate example in video here, but it seems that upon transferring my media files to my portable drive I somehow transferred a jpeg of the first frame of the video, but not the actual video footage. WTF? So I will have to give you an example at some later date. Don’t worry, there are plenty of opportunities for examples of the Baby Pterodactyl. Just get in the car. Hmmm……Halloween costume idea…

So the other day G’ma & DD2 are picking up DD1 from pre-school and DD2 is screeching her head off. G’ma’s ears are bleeding and her head is about to explode so she yells at DD2 trying to get her attention enough to make her stop. To which DD1 replies, “But G’ma you’re yelling loudly too.”

heh, heh

The Last of MOO-hicans (I've got a million of them!)

It’s not that I don’t want to talk about it; it’s more like it just kinda makes me feel sad.

My baby is growing up.

I know, I am happy for her, but every day they both need me a little less and that can make a girl feel melancholy. (If you talk to me on Friday night after hanging with both of them ALL. DAY. LONG. I believe you will get a different kind of answer, but I digress…)

So week before last DD2 stopped breastfeeding.

Sigh.

When DD1 was done with breastfeeding (BF) it was my decision. She kept biting me, by 12 months she had 12 teeth and she wasn’t afraid to use them. (I am still a resource to a couple moms’ groups on how to heal nerve damage and cuts while still BFing the baby. There's a visual for you. You're welcome.) On her first birthday DD1 started getting sippy cups only (we ditched the bottle at the same time too). DD1 did not care. As long as she was getting the food she was happy. Actually, she was pretty happy no matter what, so there you go, a very easy going kid. Five days later I back into a full blown Fibro episode. Bah! So my b00bs no longer hurt, but everything else did.

This go around I decided I was going to continue with the BFing until DD2 weaned herself. Ok, if she was starting kindergarten I would’ve probably drawn the line. But I don’t know, being pain free is a pretty magical thing. You might be willing to BF your 8 year old too if it meant no pain. (God, I’m kidding. That would gross me out too.) My point is that I was going to let DD2 self-wean.

And she did.

She just did it a lot sooner then I thought she would.

DD2's a snuggly kid and she likes BFing. She was constantly feeling me up & asking for it. Much like a druggie needing a fix. I’m not a big fan of the “on demand” thing so she had a general schedule

(please don’t email me about what an awful mom I am because I don’t propagate the “on demand” philosophy, if it works for you great then do it. I know it wouldn’t work for me or my family. ‘nuf said.)

The last hold out feeding was the going to bed one.

It was nice. The last quiet moments of her day, rocking in the chair in her room in the dusk, watching her eyelids get heavy and her little baby hands reaching for my face to try and entice me into a game. I knew she wasn’t getting much milk anymore; if anyone else was around she would totally pop off to see what was happening (something she would never do if she were getting a lot of milk.) A couple weeks ago I went out to dinner with some mom’s from the neighborhood. I told DS to give her a bottle & she should be fine. When I got home he said she really didn’t drink it, she just played with it. So the next night I had him put her to bed again (I figured it was less likely to fly if I was around) this time without anything but a story and a kiss goodnight.

She cried and cried and cried. And then she cried some more.

Finally, it became apparent she was winding up, not down, so I went up to her room (about 30 minutes had passed). I picked her up and she stopped crying (go figure). She laid her head on my shoulder and calmed her hiccup-y cries and sniffles. (She does pathetic really well.) I sat down in the rocker & she pulled on my shirt. I told her, “No you’re a big girl now and we don’t do that anymore.” She laid her head on my shoulder and hugged me as she went to sleep. And my heart broke a little.

Sigh

I didn’t expect her to listen to me!

She’s asked for it at various times since then, (not like I would've thought) usually because she’s upset. A hug and a bink will usually suffice in those cases. If she's being a little more insistant I tell her she’s a big girl and we don't do that anymore. She just kind of shrugs her shoulders and moves on.

I’d say she’s taking it way better then I am.

So much fodder, so little blogging…

I have had lots of topics I should’ve been blogging about this weekend. None of which happened, of course.

Right this second my topic du jour is related to my health; specifically my fibromyalgia. In June, I started to notice that some of my symptoms were returning. As the baby was dropping feedings, I was starting to have some pain, sleeplessness, IBS, migraines…the list goes on. This happened with my last pregnancy/nursing, so I knew what was happening. I was coming out of remission.

It’s been close to two years since I’ve had to deal with my Fibro so I asked DS to get on some of his medical/drug boards (online) while I perused the public ones to see if there were any new studies/treatments that were being touted as the next big thing. As it turns out we found one. It’s not really new, but there’s a new aspect to it that we didn’t notice before. This study summary said something that caught my attention:

Many fibromyalgic patient, especially women, are carbohydrate intolerant ("hypoglycemic") and must restrict their intake of sugar and starches. These overlapping syndromes have distinguishing symptoms that must both be recognized and treated for successful therapy.

Hmmmm…in order to treat hypoglycemia all one has to do is go on a low-carb diet.

In late June I did just that. Since July I’ve lost about 10 lbs and at least 4 inches off my waist. (Maybe more, I haven’t weighed or measured myself in over a week and the skirt I have on today is looser then it’s been so…) The weight loss in itself is a big plus as far as I’m concerned, but the real benefit has been what I would tout as a HUGE reduction in symptoms.

1. IBS: Within two days of starting this diet my IBS was gone. GONE! Even when pregnant & nursing, my IBS never went totally away. That makes sense, my intestinal tract is happier when I changed my diet.

2. Muscle Spasms/Pain: For the first time in at least 5 years I am not sleeping with a neck brace on (I know I’m totally bringing back the sexy.) In the past if I didn’t wear a brace to support my neck muscles during sleep I would wake to find that my neck was in a complete spasm and it would take a couple of hours before I could move it. Meaning it would take a couple hours to get out of bed. Seriously.

3. Sleep: (always the worst part of it) Sleep has always been my biggest issue, while I can’t say every night has been super relaxing, I can say that even the nights I wake up tired I have had dreams that I remember, which means I’m hitting REM. Getting to REM has always been the problem for me, so that’s a huge deal.

There are other less intrusive symptoms some are hanging around here and there; some have not seemed to come back at all. I am on Paxil still for Post Partum Depression. (I see my doctor next week and I’m going to ask how long you’re considered Post Partum. Considering my “baby” is 17 months old on Thursday and walking and talking I’m not so sure I still qualify.) But the big deal is that I stopped nursing week before last (I’ll be writing about this soon, but right now I don’t want to turn into a blubbering mess) and all of this is still the case. Last time I quit nursing I had a full blown case of Fibro going within 5 days. ; could hardly get out of bed, pretty much not sleeping, suddenly couldn’t eat all kinds of foods (i.e. leafy greens & diary) without getting violently ill.

I do believe we may have stumbled on something here.

I still have carbs I’m just limiting them. I’m treating myself as if I’m pre-diabetic, if I have something (like my Starbucks) then I really, really try to watch my carbs for the rest of the day. If I skip that mocha my carb intake is usually between 20-40 a day, if not I’m usually around 60. Before doing this I had no idea how many carbs were in my diet, but now that I’m paying attention I can’t believe it. I would easily consume 100 carbs in one meal! (Consider the evil pasta.) I’ve really started to pay attention to not just my diet, but my kids diet too. They probably aren’t as happy about it as me, but I refuse to let them eat a kid-sized yogurt that has more carbs in it then I will eat all day (43). (Don’t worry, I found a kid themed one with only 13 grams of carbs in it. A number I can live with.) Maybe we can avoid some of these types of issues for them.

For me the diet hasn’t been hard because I can eat as much as I want as long as I keep my carbs limited. I munch on nuts all day; I eat eggs all the time, my favorite snack is really good string cheese and I can eat salami and mayo at lunch. We’re drinking whole milk and eating whole milk cheeses. Since the food tastes better (then “light” or “non-fat”) it’s more enjoyable. I guess it doesn’t make me feel like I’m missing out. Lately, I’m even allowing myself a “bite” of pasta, rice or bread if I really want it with dinner.

I’m keeping my figures crossed, but we may have a found a “treatment” that doesn’t involve pregnancy.

Pirate Speak... to help you blige rats out!

I can't take credit for these, "borrowed" them from a mate who posted them on Yahoo Answers.

Addled/ addlepate - foolish, foolish person
Ahoy! - hello
Avast! - Hey
Begad! - By God!
Belay! - Stop that! Shut up!
Bilge/ bilge rat - nonsense talking, insult
Deadlights - yer "eyes", matey!
Dog - insult (e.g., scurvy dog!)
Fair winds! - Good bye, good luck!
Gangway! - out of my way!
Grub - food!
Jack tar/ tar - A sailor.
Lad, lass(ie) - person younger than you
(Land)lubber - insult to someone who is NOT a pirate, arr! Someone who is not a sailor.
Me hearties! - Friends!
Pillage - to rob or raid.
Poxed - insult that someone looks deathly sick.
Rum - drink, or someone acting peculiar. "Ye be a rum fellow for not talking like a Pirate on Pirate's Day!"
Scupper that! - Expression of anger -- I don't know what it means exactly. :)
Scurvy - diseased, insult.
Sea dog - An experienced sea man.
Ship-shape - organized, under control.
Loaded to the Gunwales - drunk :)
Messdeck lawyer - A know-it-all.
Squiffy - buffoon.
Waister - an incompetent sailor.
Shiver me timbers! - Surprise or way to lure someone for sex. "Wanna shiver *me* timbers, mate?"
Sink me! - Surprise.
Swab - A disrespectful term for a seaman. (e.g., "Ye cowardly swabs!")
Walk the plank - fictional term actually from story books. You know what it means...
Wench - female. (e.g., "Ye be a saucy wench!") One who may be promiscuous.
Yo-ho-ho - meaningless, but fun to say!
Aye! - Yes, I agree with all you said and did just now!
Aye aye! - Right away, sir!, when my break is over...
Black Spot - To "place the Black Spot" on another pirate is to sentence him/her to death or warn him of such.
Booty - loot! Gold! Treasure!
Buckaneer, bucko - friend. "Ay, ye be a good bucko!"
Cap'n - Captain.
Doubloon - Spanish gold coin.
Feed the fish - to throw someone overboard dead or alive.
Grog - An alcoholic drink.
Gun - cannon.
Hands - crew of a ship, sailors.
Shark bait - a lazy/worthless sailor.
Splice the mainbrace - To have a drink, or several drinks.
Swag - loot.
Nipperkin - A small drink.

It's Talk Like A Pirate Day!

`Tis International Talk Like a Shipmate Tide!! I`ll be aft wi' more later!

More here: http://www.talklikeapirate.com/

and translater (for all you blige rats!) here: http://www.syddware.com/cgi-bin/pirate.pl

Did you feel that?

So tell me did you feel the earth move yesterday? ‘round 9:30. Yeah, that was us.

We went to church.

Opps! Sorry about that, didn’t realize you were drinking something. I hate it when I shoot soda out of my nose too. Next time I’ll try to remember to tell you sit down or something before I hit you with news like that.

So yeah, we went to church yesterday. I don’t remember if I mentioned that I signed up DD#1 for the Sunday School (it’s a regular class, that costs money, not just a show up & we’ll put your kids in front of Veggie Tails kind of thing). We even signed up at our neighborhood church. I know big move there. But I figured it was time.

I’ve gone to the same church since before I’d met DS. It was my neighborhood church and I loved it. It had a young congregation and it was a very welcoming place to go. Plus it was in the middle of our downtown, so after we’d walk to get beers or coffees or something. And let’s face it, what’s a mass celebration w/out a beer chaser? As a result my old church ended up being where DS and I got married and where both girls were baptized. So, we have lots of history there, but we don’t live that close to it any more. When you’re big on sleeping in on weekends, not being that close to your church can have a major impact on your attendance. I’m just saying. We’d tried going to churches closer to us after we’d moved from that area, but never found a place we felt as comfortable at. Plus, you know, that sleep thing. When DD#2 was born I decided we ought to look into having her baptized at our Big Neighborhood Church (BNC) and become members there. (Remember we just moved during my pregnancy.) BNC is very large, very popular (big by my standards, it’s no crystal cathedral or anything) and has a very good reputation (associated school and classes etc…have waiting lists). When I called BNC about having the baptism I found that it was a 6 month process. Being an overwhelmed mom w/two small kids, I wasn’t exactly doing this at the time when she was just born, it was a little closer to when she was 6 months old, which was right around the time I wanted to have her baptized. So I called our old church (which was still our current church) and they were all friendly and happy to hear from me. “Oh no! We don’t have anything like that (6 month wait). In fact, since you took that class w/your first child you don’t have to do it again, just pick a date.! And you’re pretty and smell good too!” (Ok, I may have embellished the last bit a little.)

DD#2's baptism (a year ago) was really the last time we went to church. Durning the last year we’ve considered going, but quickly thought better of it. Having two small kids means that one of us sits w/one kid and feeds child toys and snacks, while the other takes the other kid outside because of boredom screaming. So it’s more of a child management scenario and honestly no one is really getting anything out of the service. Plus that sleep thing again.

So I called to see about signing DD#1 up for Sunday School and talked to a super friendly, super nice admin who told me she’d put us on the waiting list and send us the information. She wasn’t sure where we’d be on the waiting list, but they do usually get some cancellations around the time school starts. Funny thing, the very NEXT day she called back to say they’d had a cancellation and if we were still interested they’d put us in it. I’m pretty sure we jumped up on the list, not that we were the list. I think Miss Nicey Nice thought I was nice too and decided to move us to the top. So never underestimate the power of the gatekeeper.

The Sunday School classes start the first weekend of October, but since we hadn’t really gone to this church I figured we should go for a couple of weeks to get the lowdown on the whole deal. Of course, DS made faces the night before when we discussed it, and I have to agree that wasn’t really looking forward to setting the alarm on a Sunday, and in the end I didn’t. As it worked out we were all up by 7:30, so we really didn’t have an excuse. Turns out we like sleep, our kids, not so much.

Let me just say the girls were absolutely perfect! If I had told them they needed to behave they wouldn’t have, but since it was something new (and I plied them w/quiet toys and snacks) they were super good. It wasn't the most attention I've ever paid in church, but no one had to leave the building in the middle of the service, that's a win in my chart. I’m sure it was because it was new and next week DD#2 will be screeching her head off cause it sounds so cool in a big hall like that.

This was the conversation on the way to the church:

DD#1: Are we going to a party.

MS: No, we're going to church.

DD#1: Are they having a party at church?

MS: Um, no, why?

DD#1: Then why are we all dressed up?

Note to self: Take the kids to church a little more often so these conversations don't have to take place in front of the G'parents.

The Reason I Blog (aka--my 2nd child's baby book)

Guess who said "I love you" to me this morning?

Ok, ok I kissed her good-bye and said, "I love you" and she waved, made a kissing noise and said, "I wuv" (couldn't quite get the you in there,) but close enough to make my heart melt.

You know you've hit bottom when the topic is Dino Porn...

We had such a fun weekend, but man am I exhausted. It’s always so good to go see the M’s. Every time we visit I remember how much fun it was when they lived next door and I’m always so sad when we have to separate. (So you hear that J?! Move the hell back up here!!! We could be having SO. MUCH. FUN. if you were living next door to us RIGHT NOW!) BAH!

Anyway here’s our Saturday……

Us girls lazed by the pool. Spent so much time out there that I finally felt fried & made the girls come in for a while. (Got great tans though.) The boy’s went to watch R’s first football game(American style, of course). He totally rocked!; recovered a fumble and scored even! I think it was good that DS ended up going so he could explain the finer points of the game to M. When they came back DD#1 & DD#2 went back in the pool w/the boys & I got some rocking pix of them.

We also played on the computer A LOT; had THREE laptops going at any given time, sharing funnies, photos, movies, etc… on line with each other. In the process we enlightened them to the ways of Pastafarians and reminded them that TLAPD (Talk Like a Pirate Day) is coming up very soon. They loved it and I think we’re all getting FSM emblems for our cars. (We believe we are among chosen; my high school mascot was a Pirate, if that’s not a sign I don’t know what is.) Being Welsh they are appropriately torn between FSM and Fish n’Chips.

Later that afternoon we went to church together (youth mass) and at the end during general announcements:

Woman at Podium: “A woman’s guild is finally forming; 15 years in the making. We’ve sent invites to all 3000+ women in the church and you’re welcome to sign up outside tonight after mass or at our first event September 19.”

Me: OHMYGAWD!!! That’s TLAPD! Do you think it’s a coincidence? I don’t think so! I fully expect you to go and send me pix of you and your brethren of wenches dressed in your do-rags and eye patches!”

That was it. J COMPLETELY lost it. Then I lost it.

Like two school girls in the back of the classroom passing notes, trying to make the other laugh. We’re both totally cracking up and trying not to LOL cause that would be kinda rude in church, don’t you think? We totally had tears streaming down our faces, bodies shaking, the full deal. I’m sure the people behind us must’ve thought we were crazy. They wouldn’t be far from wrong.

The rest of the night included many jokes in Pirate Speak and we all just laughed and laughed. We hit our low point when the topic evolved into Dino Porn (don’t ask, you’d just think we’re lame, and I guess we are, but by then we were all in hysterics). My stomach hurt from laughing so much. Best work out I’ve had in a long, long time.

So I’ll tell you about Sunday tomorrow.

Going Back to Cali…

Yeah, yeah, I know we’re already in Cali. But we’re going to SoCal which, let’s face it, is really what people think of when you think of California. So we’re leaving in like 15 minutes to head down to see DD#1’s GodMum (She’s Welsh you know--makes her a Godmum, not a Godmom) and family. It might even be a religious experience seeing as she already told me she’s got a bottle of Mudslides chilling for us. WooHoo! (Qoooh we could made some of those too! Woohoos; quite popular when I was in college.)

Anyway DD#1 came in the other day and asked me:

DD#1: Mama, how come this wand doesn’t do any magic?

MS: Maybe it’s broken.

DD#1: I think you need to be a fairy godmudder to make it work.

MS: You might be right. That’s probably the trick to making it work.
DD#1: I’m going to take it wid us so Auntie J can fix it and do magic for me.

MS: That’s a great idea DD#1!

I called Auntie J yesterday & let her know her magic was expected to procured this weekend. Auntie J is totally stressed out. Hee, hee! She doesn’t want to let her down. Lucky for her we’re leaving strait from picking DD#1 from school & I’m “forgetting” the wand.

Happy Weekend!

Forecast: Gloomy & HOT

Bah! The weather here is matching my mood & that’s not good. It looks cloudy here, almost like a medium foggy (not down the ground fog so much, more like marine layer, but hanging lower). Anyway, it’s not fog or clouds even. It’s smoke. There’s a couple of fires that aren’t too far away and we’re in a weather pattern that is causing the smoke to just sit over us. Luckily, (so far) no one has lost a home or gotten injured (or worse), but we’re really not that close to either of the fires and our day is totally affected by them. Needless, I won’t be walking outside today. whine, whine, whine

Work is sucking still, BIG TIME.

I had a job once (in a previous life) that was very political and very negative. Everyone there was out to screw someone else to help themselves look good and get ahead. When something good happened, the managers’ took credit without acknowledging others’ efforts and when something went poorly…we’ll lets just say the manager’s and everyone who could would take a large step backward. Being in the thick of it, I took it all very personally. I had never worked in an environment like that before and I couldn’t understand why these people would treat each other (especially me, who hadn't done anything, but be a large target) so poorly. It became a practice in CYA, "Cover Your Ass": meaning I would document and print any and all communication I had with anyone on any topic so they couldn’t deny their involvement. Finally I started to make myself physically ill over it; with the support of DS I quit. After I was out of the environment for a while I was able to be more objective about it and realize it wasn’t about “me”. Have you ever heard the term “shite rolls downhill”? That was the problem. The CEO ruled through fear and intimidation and so everyone fell in line. It was awful.

Where I at right now is being very much like that.

Yeah, it sucks that much.

I’ve been spending my morning looking at “work at home sites”, which really improved my mood.

Hopefully a good sea breeze will pick up this afternoon and clear the smoke along w/my mood.

Hopefully.

Milestones

No, my baby does not start kindergarten this year. She’s starting Pre-K at a new school. I ended up switching her schools because this one feeds into our elementary and all the kids in the neighborhood go there. Since it’s a good school I was waitlisted and after many phone calls this summer I lucked into the director answering the phone last month. I dropped some neighborhood names and schmoozed my bum off; two days later we had apparently been bumped to the top of the list (name dropping did the trick, not smoozing). Even here in Silicon Valley, it’s all about who you know.

Tomorrow is her first day. I’m pretty sure she’s nervous. She acts really excited, but at lunch we had a MAJOR meltdown today over nothing, LITERALY. When I asked her why she was so upset she finally said cause she was so tired. I gave her the option to skip swimming, which she took so we took it easy and laid low the rest of the day. (Sort of, I got antsy and ended up cleaning out all the toys and rearranging all the furniture in the play room; good thing I was taking it easy, or maybe I would've rewired the house or something.)

This is totally one of those times I so wish I could do it for her. Or, at least, some how find the words to help her really understand that this is so not a big deal and she’ll do great. But even if I said that to her she wouldn’t believe me. All I can do is give her lots of hugs and attention and hope that kind of reassurance will somehow suffice. sigh

On a sort of similar note, she got moved up in gymnastics today! My mom had come to watch so that made it a bit extra cool. She doesn’t really understand what “moving up” means, but my mom and I did our best to make a big deal out of it, so she understands that it’s good and that it has something to do with being older. I was able to keep her same teacher so I’m not changing everything on her this month.

I’ll let you know how tomorrow goes. Hopefully she and I will be able to sleep tonight.

TGIF

Work has been sucking more then usual. I make an effort not to talk about it, you know the whole dooce thing and all, but man it’s driving me KRAAAAZEEEE.

I guess that’s all I can/should really say about it right now. Other then that I met w/the new financial advisor this week, and even prior to meeting w/him, sat down w/DS to discuss short and long term goals financially. Having that conversation made me realize it’s not realistic for me to quit right now. But man would I LOVE to!!! I have dreams about telling my current boss to shove it up her ARCE! I can not wait for the day when I can fill you in on all the total Dilbert like details of it. CAN. NOT. WAIT.

In the meantime, getting together additional info for financial advisor, need to sell two cars so we can buy a newer one (not necessarily new. Anyone want to buy a used Del Sol or Impreza?) Get the dishwasher fixed, get the window screens on the back side of the house fixed, blah, blah, blah…my life is boring and HOT! But then I hear pretty much everyone’s life it hot right now, so on the upside; at least we aren’t in Kansas!

Today is DD#1’s last day at her old school. Got the teachers gift cards from Starbucks and Jamba Juice, I know, not very personal or original, but I bet they like those better some of the “personal” gifts they’ll get. Also brought bagel’s from Noah’s for all the staff (and I’m sure the kids) and finger jello for the kids (cause it’s too damn hot for cupcakes!) That’s about it.

I’m in an office pool of 20 for the lottery tonight. Please, please let us win!!! Wouldn’t that be wonderful! That right there would pretty much solve the majority of my issues. Seriously. That’s how pathetic I am. But damn wouldn’t it be nice.

Have a good LONG weekend!

Likes to eat sand....

told you my kids eat EVERYTHING















and then this one because lately I feel like kid #1 has been getting the shaft when it comes to photos and such.

Do you do that? Do you feel like you favor one kid over the other? I mean I don't do it on purpose, but sometime I feel guilty because I think one's getting more positive attention then the other. I know, one more thing for mom guilt. The honest truth is that sometimes my kids are not the funnest people to be around. I know *shocking* that I would write something so negative about my perfect, adorable, brillant childrent. But consider who their mother is? I mean really they've got that working against them to start. Then there's the whole almost being two and 4 going on 14 thing. (yes, we've been getting the hand on the hip accompanied by the eye roll--OMG, this was not supposed to start this early!) So usually they are annoying at different times, which is good I suppose or I might completely lose my mind. But it does still make me feel guilty when kid #1 is going to the "question athority/test boundries" phase (again) and kid #2 is being super cute/giving kisses and hugs,not to mention that her tantrums are actually kinda funny still.

And So It Begins…..

Driving to the beach this weekend:

Mommy she’s looking at me! I don’t want her looking at me!

OMG!
Slit my wrists now!

Maybe I'll quit my job and get my kid into modeling. She could support us!

Now try to tell me that I don’t have the most beautiful child on earth…just try (I know I’m biased, but hey your’s is a close second. I swear!)



Taken August 19, 2007, Age 15 Months

Growing Up Too Fast or Turning my kids into nerds.

I may be totally out to lunch on this one, but I have to say that the fact that my FOUR year old got invited to a "High School Musical 2" party bugs me. Just for the record, she was invited to watch the first one earlier in the week as all the kids who hadn't seen it yet were getting together so they'd be ready for the big even on Friday night.

DUDE! Isn't that a tween movie???

I thought the demographic for that is like 7-12, right? A good (childless) friend saw it and told me "totally harmless. It's the Grease of today, only it makes Grease look rated R."

Ok, so I get it, it's truly a G-rated movie on the Disney channel (which sort of makes it more G-rated, but also sort of implies some one's parent is going to kick it). No one dies, no one even kisses, I know! But still. I feel like some people are really pushing their kids to grow up too fast. I know DD#1 would like all the dancing and singing, but the story line is (hopefully) above her head (cause if not, you know that book I had to buy? Well we'd be spending some quality time with it I'm sure).

So she didn't go to the party. Show started at 8 and my kids go to bed at 7:30. Yes they do. Dude, I need the time to chill, and pick up and blog... Like the title says I'm destining my kid to nerdom.

Ironically, when I turned on the TV this afternoon guess what was on?

Seriously.

She immediately sat down & watched it. We only saw the last half hour of it and then she asked if I could rewind it so she could see the whole thing. So I set the TIVO.

Bah!

Maybe I can fast forward to just the dance scenes.

They're all grounded for trying to grow up too fast!!!

Your PSA on diaper bags--so the love is all for you internet

Ok, I know I totally owe you the whole travel story, but I'm procrastinating on it because I don't want to relive it. So it'll be soon since I have GOT to send them a nasty letter soon or it won't mean anything. It probably won't mean anything regarless of when I send it, but still....

Anyway a very good friend of mine is have TWINS soon. YEAH!! I am so very excited for them you'd think I was having the babies. Anywho, as with all good friends who already have kids I'm offering lots of what I consider to be good, unsolicited advice. Of course, with the precursor that she should ignore 90% of the advice she gets from people and do what feels right. (Which will be what I suggest, of course!) *hee*

I found myself giving her the lowdown on diaper bags today, unrequested as usual. After reading the email I wrote I thought, "This would have been really helpful info to have had BEFORE I had children!" In that vein, here's your unrequested PSA on diaper bags I love. As with all unsolisted advice you have permission to ignore it, but I will most likely tell you "I told you" when you complain about that cheap you bought instead of my recommnedation.

Ones I like for various reasons (some of which are functional and some of which are because they're pretty)

">Landsend Backpack Diaper Bag They only had black when we got ours. Bah. Anyway this was the one we got for DD#1 & we are STILL using it! Very practical, very sturdy. Good also if you're guy has all kinds of opinions about what the diaper bag should look like. On that note; unless he's going to be a SAHD he will most likely not use it all that much and in the end will not realy care. He'll need it, so he'll use it. Any cool factor associated w/the bag he's carrying is negated by the fact that he's carrying a baby and driving a minivan. He'll get over it, so if you really love something and it's girly, by all means get it.

Petunia Pickle Bottom (aka --PPB) I'm currently using one of their boxy backpacks. Love it! I thought material would wear out pretty fast, but it hasn't at all! Am seriously considering getting a travel tote after looking at them now. So girly, I love it.

Fleurville Love these! Totally pricey, but probably what I would've picked if I'd seen them before PPB. My choices would've been a sling tote and/or an escape pod. They are really well organized! Love the fabrics and the fact that they're covered in plastic making them super easy to keep clean. (The little purse/diaper bag thing I carry around is a knock off from Target. Not as roomy, and the plastic has started to pull away from the seam, but only $15, so I think it's pretty good.)

Nordstrom's has a good selection of baby stuff from various designers. They're a good place to check out and then I usually go find the mfg. website to see what else they have. Ditto for Babystyle.

Skip Hop I don't know anything about these, but they seem to be one of the up and coming manufacturers. Cute stuff.

I'm alive...barely

OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!

We made it home FINALLY. But dude, when I tell you about our flights home and the hell we went through...OHMYGOD! All I can say is that

UNITED AIRLINES SUCKS BIG DONKEY BALLS!!!!

That is as nice as I can be about it. And now I will leave you breathlessly awaiting my story as after my 12 hour ordeal to fly 4 hours I need to take a shower and get the stench of their planes off of me.

More later! Don't worry I WILL write about this one, I've got names, places and details I'm alerting the media and then some.

More, more, more...

Yes, more rain, more heat, more humidity, more sleep (Thank God!) and more BUGS!

So on the plus side I did actually get some sleep last night. I think I was so exhausted I just crashed. I woke up several times from my back hurting, but I did reach REM which is a problem for me when I'm hurting, so that's good. It certainly make some of the rest of this more bearable. But, can I just tell you?, the BUGS! OMG, the Bugs! The bugs here are NOT like in California. In CA they twitter, they chirp, you know they're around, but you aren't afraid they'll take over. Here they are so freaking LOUD! It's like you can't hear yourself think if you outside after 3 PM. It's kinda creepy actually, cause it means there are so damn many of them. Another reason to perplex me on why the hell anyone would live here???

Look if you live in Midwest, more power to you. You're obviously made of sturdier stock than I. I (knock on wood) have not been bitten, but DD#1 is getting eaten alive, poor baby. Actually she isn't really complaining about it, but to look at her one leg....ehww. Seriously, these are like the nastiest bug bites I've seen. It's my understanding that the one's on her legs are "chigger" bites. They crawl up your legs from the grass and bite you later. EEHW! Apparently she must've gotten those at the farm the other day. So not only do you have to cover yourself in bug spray, but you need to make sure you cover you shoes and socks. Ideally, you wear some kind of boots and long pants (jeans) to help avoid them. (She had on tennis shoes and jeans.) So if it's not hot enough for you, don't worry you'll have to suit up to avoid being eaten alive. That should get you sweating.

I'm Melting!!!

Dude, it is so freaking humid here I can't tell you. Right now it's currently 97% humidity, at SEVEN AM!!! Who the hell chooses to live like this?? It's inhumane. The AC in this house (built sometime in the 1920s, not updated since I think) is on the fritz so often times we are dying upstairs. Our bed SUCKS!!! Thus I'm on the web since 3:30 AM CA time. My back is killing me.

We have seen the sun here for a total of 1 hour, but it's hot as hell. Did I tell you it was hot? Cause it is. I'd like to say it's not the hot it's the humidity, but no it's both it's the hot and the humidity and they both suck big donkey balls.

Ok, enough w/my bitching, the girls and DS are having fun, so I'll get mine later. I'm going to try and find a place for a pedi today. I don't think I've ever had a white person do my nails--there's seriously ONLY white people here, it's kinda weird. All the Vietnamese got here and were like, dude we just LEFT a place like this, we're going to California! So that should be interesting. And if it keep raining I'll probably take DS#1 to the movies today. They have AC you know.

But hey, you've gotten two posts in less then 24 hours so you're not bitching, right?

Hell exists and it resides in a plane in Colorado

Yeah, our plane trip to Kansas was less then steller. Think about this for a minute; your incoming plane arrived early, but you had to sit on the tarmack for an hour waiting for a gate to open up for you. But wait, there's more, you have 4 year old asking, "When are we going to get out?" and a 15 month old screetching every 10 minutes or so because she's sick of sitting in her car seat after a 3 hour flight. Fun for all. But wait that's not all! All planes are delayed in Denver due to weather, so your connecting flight is late and when you do get to board, they get everyone on the plane, announce they'll be leaving in a few minutes and then SIT. AT. THE. GATE. for NINETY MINUTES, again w/4 year and 15 month olds with you. Add in a dash of the pilot coming on every 15 minutes to tell you to leave your seatbelts on because "it'll be just a few more minutes" and said 4 year old having to "really, really pee" and you have my trip to Kansas. It could've been worse, the flight attendent did let her use the bathroom, so she didn't pee herself (however she did dump and apple juice in her lap during that flight). And while both kids were at the end of their rope neither actuall imploded, but neither actually slept either, which was the point of flying at night.

Because Kansas City is about an hour to Topeka and we had to take the time to rent a car, and lug kids, etc...we got to Topeka at 4 AM. Yes, it took us 10 hours to fly a 3.5 hour flight.

Now in Topeka for the 2nd day, and DUDE how the hell do any of you live here? It is so freaking hot and humid! I knew that coming here, but somehow your mind blocks the hell of it. It makes me sick to my stomach it's so bad. The total irony is that we've seen the sun for a total of 30 minutes since we've been here. Currenty, it's raining, so I'm hopful that will cool things off. But seriously, DUDE, they should just close this place as being uninhabitable.

Baby's up from nap...more later.

MommySpeak In

Hi Internet,

I’m still alive. No the party on the 4th was not so crazy that it’s taken until now to recover sufficiently to blog again. While the party on the 4th was fun (we had around 40 people) it did not bowl me over like that. I couldn’t even get a buzz, I drank enough, but it was just too hot. No, my issues developed the next weekend. My fibro returned. I had a bad bout focused on the base of my skull. It SUCKED! The spasms went up the side/back of my skull and were so swollen that if I didn’t have hair to cover it, you would’ve insisted I had some kind of tumor or something. I can’t take much pain-wise, cause I’m still breast feeding DD#2. I believe this bout was brought on by the fact that I have weaned the baby to just two feedings (from me) a day. She’s drinking whole milk now, so I nurse her first thing in the AM and just before bed. My hormones went nuts over this. My skin is getting its hyper pigmentation back, and a nice breakout, of course. Aunt Flo came to visit for the 3rd time in 3 weeks and I put on 5 lbs in one night (maybe more I don’t own a scale and kinda don’t want to know). It’s just been so fun! So I called my rheumatologist to make an appointment to discuss a game plan for me and weaning—you know, so I won’t really have to suffer. That’s me, being all pro-active and stuff. BUT I can’t get into her until August 8. A freaking month! Since I was in pain NOW and I can’t see my doctor for 31 freaking days! I did the next best thing, I consulted Dr. Google. I figured it’s been a couple of years since I was last suffering, I’m sure there’s been some new info. There was, and long story, short, one study they’re trying to replicate right now is that people w/fibromyalgia are hypoglycemic and benefit greatly from a low carb diet. I’ve heard some variations of this before, but this was an actual study w/actual statistics to support its claim (something like 90% saw a decrease in symptoms; especially pain.). If a diet is all I have to do to keep my symptoms at bay, I am all over it. So then I was consulting Dr. Google about the low carb diets and what might be best for me.

So you see internet I haven’t really been neglecting you, I’ve just been using you. ;)

So I’ve been doing this low carb thing for about a week now. I’m not in love with it yet, but this morning I could tell I’ve dropped some weight from the way my clothes fit. So that’s a plus. I can’t say I feel so much better, but if all that comes out of it ends up being that I look better, I could live w/that too. Anyway, I’m back & should hopefully be posting more again.

On another note, we leave for the Midwest (to visit outlaws) on Friday. Yes, it’s a sudden thing. Some of DS’s cousins adopted 3 kids (obviously they didn’t have any, who in their right mind would adopt that many if they already understood what was involved? No really, I think it’s really great. These cousins live on a working farm. She’s a doctor and he’s an engineer, and they’re really nice people. I think they’ll be good parents and have a lot to offer these kids. The kids are ages 6, 4, and 2, and are brothers and sisters. So the family is having a big “Welcome Home” party for them and we decided to go for a week. Ok, this is too long already, more later.

MommySpeak Out.

Happy Birthday America!

Hey! What are you doing here? You should be out celebrating, watching a parade, (or having one like us). You don't have plans??? Well come on over! Beers are in the cooler on the left, N/A drinks on the right, margaritas swirled with sangria in the kitchen (margarita machine; our friends rock!). Eggrolls (from King Eggroll of course!) are on the table out back. A's got the turkey deep frying on the side yard, there's pork roast, shrimp, chicken, tri tip and hot dogs (for the kids) in the back by the lawn. Kids are running the sprinklers on the side yard, adults are in the main yard w/their feet in the wading pool. Now catch up quick, pretty soon we're decorating the kids around the block. Later, if we have any Designated Drivers we'll to the church on the hill to watch fireworks. If not, we'll watch em on TV. Go on now, get in there and have fun; everyone's very friendly!
Happy 4th of July Internet! Now get outside & go play!

Picture from7/4/06, I'll post from this year in a day or two!

Another Cake Episode, May 5th

Watch how she uses her powers for evil instead of good ;-)
(BTW--these took an incrediable amount of time to put up, because blogger hates me and I wanted to be all formatty and all. You know, I wanted the captions to GO with the pictures. I'm weird like that.)

And now presenting......

LET HER EAT CAKE!

Why Yes! I would like some cake, thank you.

I think a detect a hint of cinnamon in here?

don't be stingy now, pass it on over.
that's more like it. my cuteness has won them over! Soon I will conquer the world and all the cake will be mine! Bwa,ha,ha,ha

I think I see another piece over there that no one's eating...

Wha??? YOU put it down for a second, I can't help it if I thought you were finished with it.

May I have some more please *blink, blink, blink*

SHE WALKS! It's Love Thursday Walking Tour.

Edited: BAH! Unknown to me you can NOT run video on Blogger--WTF? Anywho, I have it posted online, but under our NAME so I will post a link to it when I get home this afternoon and list it on you tube under mamaspeak. In the mean time I will be adding a couple of funnies for your enjoyments.

Ok, she's been walking a bit here and there (half way across the room I'm told by my mom), but she finally did it in front of the camera. It's at the end so you have to sit through the painful singing (me) of ring-around-the-rosie (bet you didn't know there was a second verse, did ya? I'm a font of children's songs, soon I'll be dressing up in a purple dinasour suit and hiring out for parties.

First Steps and Other Craziness at our House!

So DD#2 took her first steps (to me) on Father’s Day. She’s taken a few more since, but is in no hurry to learn to run right off, so that’s good news. She’s also gotten very, very clingy lately. Guess who she wants to cling to mostly? Needless, my back seems to be less then stellar; hopefully it’s temporary.

In other news, my body is freaking out! I dropped a nursing time from DD#2 (she gets regular milk in the middle of the day now & I’m not pumping at work) and apparently my hormones are reacting rather strongly to this change. I am FREAKING OUT. All the sudden, I’ve put on 5 lbs, Aunt Flo came to visit, my hyper pigmentation is way more visible, I’m breaking out, I have eczema on my lower arms, I’m not sleeping very well, etc, etc, etc….I called my OB but the nurse practitioner was all like, “Yup, that’s hormones. Nope, nothing you can do about it.” Bah! I’m going to call a dermatologist. It seems to me that if being pregnant can get my fibro in check (and these are all symptoms of fibro, well Aunt Flo isn’t, it’s just a symptom of being a woman) then there ought to be a way to emulate that so that my body continues being healthy. I swear I’m ready to become a wet nurse or surrogate; SERIOUSLY.

And lastly, I am super, super BROODY right now. I am seriously jonesing to have another baby. I know! DS would disown me if I even suggested it. And even if we were on track to have another, we wouldn’t be trying for another year yet. (So I’d be 40 when the baby would be born.) But I can’t even tell you how badly I’m feeling this. Then I go and read these blogs by women who don’t conceive easily and would take another one (ten) in a heartbeat and it makes me wonder why I don’t just go have another; I mean other then the fact that I’m still getting my butt kicked by these two on a daily basis. I keep trying to tell myself it’s hormones, but still. It does make me wonder what my life would’ve been if I’d been born in a time w/out birth control. Most likely I’d have something between 10-15 kids. That or I’d be dead. I would’ve died due to complications of child birth. I certainly would most likely have been pregnant for most of my adult life. Weird to think about huh?

I just reread this and realized that I need to find something to do at work, I may just be loosing my mind. I guess you already knew that.

Bathing Suit Season

It’s summer here.

We are finally having a rash of hot days all in a row.

Hot enough that the wading pool isn’t really cutting it anymore; how can it when TS knows that the “big pool” is open now? Hot enough that we’ve started swim lessons. Hot enough to require that I wear a bathing suit on a regular basis. (sound of record scratching)

I HATE that part.

I have absolutely no self confidence in my body. Pre or post babies. A lot of my lack of confidence (I’m realizing) has come from my mother’s pre-occupation with picking at me constantly. Besides constantly commenting on my hair, she typically critics my outfit (daily) and the way (how well she feels) I’m wearing it. My mom is a perfectionist, at least when it comes to other people. No, she is not all that thin. In fact she’s pretty overweight, but she has told me that she only picks on me because “she knows I could look so much better if I would just dress right/lose weight/workout.” Nice, huh?
Let’s just say her input has not been all that positive over the years, even when I actually was thin. I’m not sure how I didn’t become a bulimic or something.

Now before you get all, “I’ve seen your pictures on this blog and you look fine, stop complaining. Whiner!” Know that I am extremely selective about what I will post on here. Most of what you see will only be from the waist up, or at the very least, I’m sitting down and/or have a child in front of me. I’m savvy like that.

All things considered (I stress eat, and I've been stressed a lot this last year) I’m not really overweight, I’m flabby. Really flabby. So it’s not a big deal in the winter, I can more or less hide it. In the summer, in a bathing suit, not so much.

Ironically, I am most comfortable with my body when it’s pregnant. The bigger I am (except maybe at the very end when you’re super uncomfortable in the physical sense) the more comfortable I am. I’ll even wear a bikini when I’m pregnant. How’s that for ironic? I know it’s because I am not flabby when pregnant. I feel so confident in how I look. I am one of those women who has improvement in my skin and hair during that time. There I am in my full glory; shiny, thick hair, clear, glowing skin and my belly out for all to see. I feel like an earth mama or something. I feel like this is what my body was meant to do and how I am supposed to look.

I feel beautiful.

I found during my last pregnancy I was most comfortable in my tighter fitting clothing then in things that were big and flowy. My mom would and did encourage me to wear big and flowy; to effectively “hide” my bigness. Instead of looking pregnant I just looked fat. I mostly followed her advice during my first pregnancy and while I enjoyed my being pregnant, I was much happier in my choices the second time around. It drove her nuts that I was wearing all these tight fitting clothes, but I think what really bugged her was that I felt confident enough to wear these things when I was so big. (I wasn’t all that big, if you remember I only gained 10 lbs with my last pregnancy.) And she never would have worn something like that. I was doing something outside of her comfort zone, so she was uncomfortable. Living vicariously much?

So here I find myself at the start of summer, taking my kids to swim lessons (I have to get in with BS) and having to wear my bathing suit. All the while wishing I was pregnant so the way I look would be the way I’m supposed to instead of wishing for everything to be firmer.

I wear one of these suits to hide the flab, but also because I stoped shaving in certain areas a long time ago—too much trouble. So even if I got firm(er) I’d probably still wear the same suit, but I’d like to think I’d feel better about myself. Most of all, I don’t want my girls to know how self conscious I am about my body. I think a lot of my issue has to do with the fact that my mom felt that way about herself and has/is projecting it onto me. I so don’t want to do that to my kids. I love the way TS strips down to nothing and does the “booty dance”. She is so completely immodest, unabashed and comfortable with herself. I hope she always feels that way about her own body. I also hope she doesn’t ever strip down and do the booty dance in public, cause we’re only a pole away from a p0rn career if she does.

Hopefully, someday when my kids read this they’ll be shocked to learn how I feel about my looks. If they are, then I did my job well.

Thursday Thirteen

So I thought I’d something different today. I mean besides posting for the third time this week. Don’t pee yourself I told you things had calmed down, I might actual get to post more then once a week. But then again every time I say something like that I get super busy, so let’s forget I mentioned it. My post yesterday was very much like a Love Thursday and since today is Thursday I figured I’d do a meme. Wait! Don’t leave, I’ve never done one before! Don’t you want to know these things? Come on, there is too things about myself you don’t know. Honest! I’ve got a good one at the bottom trust me. I promise you’ll still respect yourself and I’ll call you for a second date ;-) I’ve been tagged for stuff like this before, but it always seems to happen during times when I can’t respond, so I’m tagging myself, here it goes:

Thursday Thirteen

1) My hair is my most and least favorite aspect of my body. It’s curly. Really curly, but I blow it out every other week or so. It has loosened up over the years, so when I couldn’t straiten it out I hated it (puberty) . Now that I can, I kind of like it. I like that I have options. I also like that I don’t dye my hair. This is my natural color, I don’t (knock on wood) have any gray and I’m 38.

2) I have terrible skin. (Some of this I mentioned before, but not all of it.) I have hyper pigmentation, especially from scarring. I also keloid scar (the scar tissue shows up on the outside of the injury instead of the inside.)

3) I have very small feet; size 5 ½. Now you may be going, “hey that’s the size I wear, that’s not that small!” It is if you’re 5’ 7”. DS jokes that I balance on the stubs of my legs instead of actually standing on my feet.

4) In the same vein, I have an overall small frame. (This is where BS gets it from, I think.) I’m long, but small around (except when it comes to hips & arce, I follow my Hispanic side of the family on that front). What is means is that I have long skinny fingers, (ring finger size 4) long legs (they seem to go past where my waist is supposed to be, so it seems like most pants are too short on me) and if I were to diet and work out, I could be down to a size 4. I don’t really diet and work out, so don’t get overexcited. And I do have hip bones. So while I could be thin, my metabolism dictates that this tall, slender frame will carry lots of weight on it. So I wore that size 4, for like 5 minutes, ONCE! but not since. But it was an awesome 5 minutes!!!

5) I’m addicted to certain TV shows: Survivor, anything Law & Order and Heros. OMG I am so addicted to Heros! Also like to geek out on: Dirty Jobs, Mythbusters and Dr. G, Medical Examiner. I never really watched TV till I got my TiVO. I LOVE my TiVO!

6) I’m addicted to vinegar and not a huge fan of butter. Things you might usually put butter on; cooked veggies, potatoes, rice, etc…I will put vinegar on. I always have several kinds of vinegar in the house. I also have 2 kinds in my drawer at work, seriously.

7) I was really good at math & science in school. I was in advanced (upper grade) classes until high school (Jr. year) for math & college (freshman year). I think I’m still probably good at it; I just need the right teachers to work with me. As a result I learned to program in BASIC in 6th grade. If you know what that means you’re probably a geek too. I was in 6th grade in 1982-83.

8) I was a Girl Scout from 1st grade through 12th. I earned my Gold Award (their version of an Eagle Scout). (Let me specify that it was all the same girls during that time & no one knew we were in it. It was a good excuse to hang out on a school night. We also got to go to Hawaii in our Jr. year as part of it.) I told you I was a geek, but hey I wasn’t in band (nothing personal if you were in band, I’m just saying I wasn’t a band geek).

9) I have an ear for music. I learned to play the flute in 4th grade. I amazed my music teacher by picking it up and blowing into it correctly (it’s not typically an intuitive thing). I can tune instruments by ear, I can tell you what note you’re playing from sound and I taught myself to play piano and trumpet in 7th grade. I quit playing in high school because I didn’t have anyone to challenge me, my school band SUCKED and I had no goals related to it. I still have my flute and all my music in a box in my closet because I want to start playing again someday.

10) I danced ballet from 6th-12th grade. I was on Pointe in high school and lost a toe nail as a result of it. I also broke my little toes so many times I don’t even know, they’re totally deformed as a result (they’re all smushed, but they’re small so you can’t really see them anyway. ;-)\

11) I traveled through Europe BY. MY. SELF. when I was 24. I had never done anything like that (never even considered it) before that trip. It was a life changing trip, I became way more laid back and a lot more fun as a result. (Fodder for blog posts!)

12) I met my husband on a dating website. We were a super high match from the second I got on, but neither of us would contact each other because we didn’t like each other’s photos. (Long story) I ended up becoming friends with his friends (and room mate) through the site and then met him in person. Once we had our first conversation we have pretty much always been together. (Moral: pay attention to those questions and who they say you match with, maybe your problem has been that your “type” isn’t really your type. AND don’t judge a book by it’s cover.)

13) I was run over by a truck at age 3. Not hit, run over. If you want to get technical I was backed up over by a full size pick up. I had tire tracks on my chest (no shite!). My poor mom watched it all happen in front of her. I can’t imagine. Bet that got your attention. Now there’s the promise of a blog post to get you to come back later.

Because Life is Very, Very Good.

So now that I’ve had an opportunity to breath and sleep a bit…don’t worry I didn’t get too much sleep, I wouldn’t want to get used to it or something.

We’ve actually been having cool, (the weather people like to call it mild,) weather lately. That just means that the sun doesn’t come out till like noon here. We have what we call microclimates where I live. That means it could be sunny, warm and beautiful at your house when you leave for work and when you get 3 miles down the road it’s damp and drizzly because it’s fogged in. Seriously. So like in SF they’ve been freezing their patooties off lately. Where we live, it’s more of just making sure we layer (aka—go nowhere without a jacket). While I’m ready to be done with this little weather pattern (I prefer it to be a bit warmer, thankyouverymuch) I have had an opportunity to enjoy the afternoon sun we’ve been getting. This is the first time since our move that I feel like I’ve been able to get a real breath of air and even almost relax on occasion. Yesterday, BS was napping and TS was having an impromptu play date at the neighbors (Have I mentioned that I love my neighborhood). I sat in the backyard writing thank you notes and generally surveying the climate. I realized something:

We’ve made it.
This is the American Dream, so to speak, and we’re living it.

Oh. My. God.

I suddenly feel all grown up. How did this happen?

Let it be known on this day, June 6, 2007 I noted that I AM HAPPY. I have my 2.5 kids (the dog counts as half right?), the loving, hot husband, the beautiful, healthy children, the 5 bedroom house, with a great room AND a living/play room. My rocking hubby has a kick ass job, which he likes (maybe even kind of loves, depends on when you ask him). We live in on of the most expensive areas in the US and we’re not in major debt (I don’t count our mortgage cause the numbers are unreal, but that’s our only real debt) we can afford to live, eat and play comfortably. We live in a GREAT neighborhood, with awesome neighbors/friends and desired public schools.

We are so very blessed.

So to whatever force you believe in (God, Allah, The Beetles…) , please let it be known that I said,

“Thank You”

Because Life is Very, Very Good.

Let Them Eat Cake

So the chaos of birthdays (my girls) is done. Tomorrow is my SIL’s and then there’s Father’s Day, but after that we’re off the hook till November. And even for these things this month we aren’t hosting them. So *breath*…and relax.

TS’s party was a success this weekend; we didn’t play any games, just let the kids play on the swing set and the play room. We did have a piñata and let the kids all have a turn hitting it with a bat, then did the pull string thing. We practiced collecting candy with TS prior to the party to avoid some tears, like last time. It was hilarious, DS throwing candy into the middle of the room and then TS and he running to collect it.

Yes, I did get movies of it.

I got cupcakes from our favorite bakery; Icing on the Cake (so yummy, try the banana w/cream cheese frosting ones, they’re the BEST!) The kids all had them w/sundae cups, remember those from when we were kids? And everything was done by 4:30. I told TS she couldn’t open her gift till we finished cleaning the house, which wasn’t really a big deal, so she was opening gifts by 5:00 and back on schedule for dinner at 6:00. It was nice. TS had a lot of fun, no tears (at least from my kids) minimal mess, minimal clean up and everyone is happy, and best of all, in bed at a normal time!!!

I believe the high point of the day for BS was the chocolate cupcake I let her have; I strapped her into her highchair (on the deck outside), put a large bib on her and let her have at it. I LOVE this picture of her. I think my favorite part is the blue, blue of her eyes surrounded by the chaos of chocolate on her face. Two days later and she’s still blowing chocolate snot. Life is good.

Memorial, Birth and Anniversary Days....

Hola! Whew, everyone, take a deep breath, it’s almost June. Yeah; I can’t wait for summer either! Yes, I am still alive thanks for asking. The last several weeks have been a crazy, crazy time, but after Saturday it will all be back to “normal”, whatever that is. With the outlaws being here, the “Fairy Tale Party”, TS’s B-day (her kid’s party is this weekend), her friend’s b-day party (last Sunday) and Memorial Day it’s been a bit KRA-ZEE around here. Oh and in-between all of that we renovated our backyard. We’ve been so busy, that DS and I FORGOT we had an anniversary this weekend. We’ve been married for six years, definitely NOT long enough to be forgetting. My mom called in the late morning to wish us a happy anniversary (Saturday) and I was like, “Oh yeah, we forgot.” She’s all, “So I guess that means no breakfast in bed or outstanding gift or something.” She thought it was horrible that we both forgot. I thought it was kind of funny. We’ve had a lot going on you know, and it’s been all about the small people in our lives, so we weren’t really focusing on ourselves right now. It’s ok, so long as when the dust settles we remember that the reason these small people are here is because of the TWO of us, and that relationship deserves to be celebrated too. DS was helping A (friend who helped build our humongous swing set, I think we need to name the swing set, any suggestions?) build a Murphy bed that day, so when they stopped by to eat lunch and pick up more tools I asked DS if he knew what today was?

DS: “Ummm, Flag Day? Saturday?”
MS: “Nope on Flag Day, yup on Saturday, but what I was really looking for was: our anniversary!”
DS: (Blood running out of face) “Oh shit”
MS: (Laughing) "We both forgot. I think it’s funny."

DS recovers his color and no longer looks like he might pass out.

A: “My wife would never let me forget our anniversary! And she wouldn’t think it was funny if I did forget.”
MS: “Dude, if you guys had as much going on as we have lately, you’d forget crap like that too.” (And he will have that much crap going on soon, his wife is preggers w/twins!)

Apparently the story was related to A’s wife H because DS called a while later w/an offer from them to baby sit so we could go out on a DATE! Very, very cool. Coolest part? They came over to baby sit, so when we came home, we just. came. home. No putting anyone to bed or additional bedtime stories. No carrying up the stairs and requests for water, just come home and sit down on the couch. Wow. It was so, so…relaxing. It was so…adult like. It reminded me of days of going out till all hours of the evening, coming home, crashing in bed (without having to get extra glasses of water for little imps) and sleeping strait through the night till practically mid-day! This was almost like that. Almost. I still had to get up at 7:30 to nurse the calf (can you say MOO! I can). However, 7:30 feels like sleeping in and I’m able to get a few things done, so I’m not really complaining.

We went to a fancy Mediterranean Restaurant in Santana Row where I promptly shattered a glass of red wine into our appetizers, all of which were promptly replaced by the wait staff with apologies, cause it’s their fault I’m a klutz. Then we walked around watching the live music (they have live music on the weekends—who knew? Probably all the single people.) And The Loft (Ann Taylor) had all these cute clothes on Clearence! I got two skirts and a top. I also got a Starbucks. One of the best nights evah, DS put up will all my shite and neither of us had to put the girls to bed. Maybe next year we can actually go away for our anniversary. HA! Or not.

Anywho, my point is this:

DS, thank you for being such a wonderful, caring husband. For putting up with all my crap (and yes, I know it’s a lot to put up with), for helping to create two of the most wonderful little creatures in the world and for being the kind of dad I knew you would be to them. I am so very glad that you are my husband and feel so very blessed that it’s you I get to spend the rest of my life with. I hope very much that I am able to make you feel the same way about me.

Happy Birthday TS!

Happy Day Birthday Girl!

No longer a toddler, I guess I should change your name on here, huh? You've become such a little lady this past year. You have changed so much! You amaze me with how wise, empathetic, fun, moody and beautiful you are. There is so much I want to write, but it will have to wait till later today or tomorrow. Right now we must celebrate! OK, really I have to go get your balloons and food for dinner (you picked) so that we can celebrate!

Let me take just a minute to say this; my life is better because you are in it. You remind me how wonderful and fun life can be. I am so proud of the lady you are becoming. Don't grow up so fast, your mama is having trouble keeping up (cause I'm trying to savor all the moments!)

I LOVE YOU TS!!!

Coolest Mom Evah!

That would be me, hello!

So, have you seen these? I ordered them for BS’s b-day party, which is a “Fairy Tale” theme, like her invites say “Fairy Tale Attire Requested” on them. Get it, like Black Tie? I know, I’m a complete dork, but if you’re just realizing that now, I’m thinking you may need to be on the short bus. BS’s invites read like this:
It has a photo of her at the top of which says, “ONEce Upon A Time…” then below her picture it says: “In a land called Far, Far Away there lived a beautiful princes BS” (only I used her real name, which is a princess name and I know which on you’re thinking and you’re wrong. Nope, not that one either. I digress;) It came to pass that BS turned One Year Old, so the royal family threw her a big party, of course.” Then in the details the place is The House of Speak Castle with our address and the RSVP is to Queen Mum Mommy Speak.

So I found those to decorate our “castle” for the party. So. Freaking. Cool. Let’s face it, I ROCK. It’s the little things that make me happy, but I love it when stuff comes together the way I want, and this party is doing that. I was trying to find BS a princess dress, but they don’t make them in her size (too small—go figure) and really it probably wouldn’t be that comfortable for her, so I’m thinking I’ll just dress her in a pretty, party dress and put a princess hat on her (which she’ll promptly take off I’m sure). I have to decide how I’m dressing as “Queen Mum” and I’m sure TS will just dress in one of her princess dresses and then change half a dozen times, until she ends up in shorts. And then I have to find some “easy, quirky and appropriate” way DS can do “fairy tale” in a “cool” way or I know he won’t participate. That’s ok, I’ll come up with something and I’ll be glad he made me be creative about it.

That was my scattered, but happier post for today. I guess this is my version of Love Thursday...making a party cool for my DD even if she is only one and will be into the wrapping paper & icing.

time marches on...

Life has been less then stellar lately. I’m not trying to be negative, just accurate. Family members read my post and are less then thrilled with me, but after much thought on the subject I’ve decide we’re even now; I’m less then thrilled with them—and really that's not new. I talked to my shrink about the whole deal & she suggested I read this book “Toxic Parents”. The name of the book cracks me up. I’m reserving it at the library (cause I’m a cheap ass & don’t want to pay for it.) So I’ll let you know once I read it. I can’t imagine what insightful things it will provide, but who knows, maybe I’ll be enlightened. I would LOVE to be enlightened! Maybe there will be some miraculous suggestion for dealing iwht my family & everyone will be happy (including me) but don’t hold your breath. My plan for now is to do what I tell the kids all the time "keep your eyes on your own paper". I'll worry about me and they can worry about themselves. If everyone did that all the time we'd all get along much better.

In the meantime, BS turned one, got an ear infection and cut 3 teeth. We had her one year doctor's appointment and got the go ahead for cow’s milk (that was a surprise). She’s weights 17 lbs, 1 oz (almost completely off the charts in weight--low side) and is 28 " which is in the 10-25%, closer to 10 I think. I’m waiting on trying the cow’s milk until we’re done with her antibiotics; I want to be able to know which thing is irritating her stomach. I know, poor baby’s been through a lot lately. Outlaws show up end of this week so we’ll see how that works out for her.

TS has been hilarious as usual. She continues to tell us stories of her “new g’ma’s and new mommies”. They apparently let her do all the things her regular g’mas and mommy won’t let her do. She’s got quite the imagination. She may be the writer in the family.

DS and I met w/a financial consultant. It went well, but it was mostly a here’s the services we offer kind of thing. They also asked us a lot of questions about our lives and current situation. Based on those answers they explained what they offered and how it might work best for our lives. We talked about it and I can tell DS is not thrilled about spending the money on it, but I really think it’s a good idea; at least for a year or two. They can help us get our stuff in order; like living trusts and wills as well as setting a monthly budget, short- and long-term investment strategies, etc... So I need to call them and get another appointment to get the ball rolling. (So they can tell me we can't afford for me to stay home from work.)

We’ve been working on getting the house in order for the big party and such, so that’s been filling our hours. I wanted to check in, so that’s all for now. I’ll hopefully have something witty and fun to talk about next time. Thanks for hanging in there with me and keep checking in, I promise not to be so much of a stranger.