Tuesday, April 18, 2006

The Mother of it All

My mom is driving me bat shit crazy.


My mom has this way of totally being into your business that is soooooo freaking annoying. I think it’s a cultural thing, although she’d deny being into my biz in the first place, much less the idea that her Hispanic heritage is what makes her think she can be. Part of the reason she’d deny it is because she’s less in my biz then her mother was in hers. I’ve watched this go on in other parts of the family, which is part of what makes me think it’s the Mexican in her coming out. But I’ve had years of therapy to point this all out to me and she refuses to go. (And she NEEDS it. But that’s another post.)


What it comes down to is that she’s nervous about my impending labor, so instead of being supportive or even saying she’s nervous (because she’d never admit that,) she starts to nag & be generally annoying. She gets nervous about lots of things, but now that Easter is over she has just ME to focus on. I. AM. SO. LUCKY.

I may have a nervous breakdown.

A couple days ago she informs me that I better get my act together & get my house cleaned because once we have this baby people are going to come by the house & want to see the baby and the new house. The implication being that my house is mess.

You know what mom; if you don’t think my house is clean enough for our relatives then you can shag your arce over & clean it yourself.

Except that she would, which sounds great in theory, but reality is that she’ll bitch & moan about my housekeeping skills the whole time. She also feels that if I open it up for her to do this then I’ve given her license to talk about what slobs we are for the next 6 months or so. (Not an exaggeration.) So if she does come over to help me do something like this I have to keep some limits on it. And honestly, my house is clean, so I’m not opening myself up to it.

In relation to Merit’s issue, she thinks we need to get a second opinion. (No I didn’t ask her what she thought we should do, she just volunteers.) I indicated to her that we’re discussing it. And she’s all, “You guys ought to talk once in a while.” (She’s really snotty when she says this.) I’m like "You know we have talked about it, we just haven’t decided if we want to spend an additional $500-$1000 on a second opinion, considering we’re going to be about $3K in the hole already. It might make more sense to just move forward with the surgery.” Note: if we get the second opinion she will go on and on about how much we spend on our animals for the next year or so. Even if it is Merit.

And her other big issue (there are many, many small ones she’s bugging me about, these are just the three she continues to hyper focus on) is the baby’s name. For starters she hates the name I want. (Apparently, this name came up when naming TS and she remembered and has been harping on it.) I finally told her she doesn’t get a vote and she told me, “I get a vote it just doesn’t count.” I said, “Yeah, kind of like living in Florida or something.” But I was thinking, “No you don’t get a vote, so quit bugging me about it cause you got to name you’re kids, now it’s my turn.” She also thinks it’s ridiculous that DS is involved in naming anyway. “He should just let you decide.” I’m not kidding, she has said this and is totally serious.

Yes, she’s a piece of work sometimes.

Since she (and others) can be so verbal about how she feels about the baby’s name, even when we pick one we aren’t sharing it. Once the baby is born & named people may not like it, but they usually keep their comments to themselves. For some reason if you tell them before hand they seem to think they can have input, including being totally rude & telling you how awful they think a name is. For a long time I don’t think she believed me that we hadn’t picked a name yet, but in the last week it’s become apparent that she’s concerned that we will be bring home a baby named Jane Doe. Every conversation (which are daily since she watches TS several days a week) I have with her includes naming the baby. Gawd, enough already.

I decided yesterday we’re going to tell her we’re naming the baby Soledad. I personally have no issues with that name (so don’t get all pissy with me if it’s your name) it happens to be my Great Grandmother’s name. (Told you I was Hispanic.) When researching names for TS we saw it on a list of “up and coming names” and commented on it being cute and said something along the lines of she could go by “Soli”. My mom just about blew a gasket. She’s terrified we’d actually pick it, so I told DS last night we’re just going to start referring to BS as Soli just to get my mother off my back.

Here’s irony of all of this; I’m having a second daughter. Someday both my girls will be blogging or text messaging things like this about me.

Oh Joy.